Chapter Text
Tooi put his backpack in the corner of the room, like he was used to do, and sat down at the blue pillow close to the short-legged table, getting comfortable, leaning over his stretched arms behind his back.
"Kazuki's not coming today?"
"Uh-hm" Enta shook his head without looking at him, picking the bluerays from the tv stand's drawer. Since Tooi came back to Asakusa, the three of them spent almost every afternoon together. Sometimes, they went to the karaoke, to Hanayashiki, or ate pancakes in that one place Keppi's friends liked so much. Most times, though, they would play soccer or watch animes in Enta’s place "He's taking Haruka to the orthopedist. He said he may pass here later, but... well, you know, it's Kazuki"
"Right. Can we not watch anime today, then?"
"Uh.. okay. Why not?"
"Because.." truth be told, Tooi thought that series was boring as hell. He wasn't even into anime, for starters. He kept coming to those sessions because he really liked the boys' company. But of course, he couldn't say that. "...Kazuki wouldn't want to miss the episodes"
"Ah, true! Huh. You want to play
videogame?"
"Yeah, you got the lastest Fifa, don't you?"
"I'm putting it on!"
The game started. Enta was a way better player than Tooi. He was playing those since he was a kid, after all; he knew every trick in the book, even from the newest games, and as much as Tooi loved those sport games, he.. kinda sucked at them. Yet, 4 minutes in and he was winning, 3 to 0. He turned his eyes to Enta, who was observing him and quickly turned his attention back to TV when noticed he was caught.
Tooi sighed. There was something going on, and that boy couldn't even properly hide it.
"Enta-" he started, but Enta didn't let him finish.
"Tooi, have you ever kissed before?"
That certainly was sudden.
"When would I? I wasn't really interested at romance in juvie."
"Well, before that, then, idiot!" Enta puffed his cheeks, annoyed, but quickly undid the exagerated expression so he could keep talking. "You're all cool and handsome, I bet you were popular with the girls, right?"
"I'm cool and handsome...?"
"What? N-no.. no! You aren't!" It was Enta's turn to blush. Tooi scoffed at it. "I mean - you have this bad boy feeling abot you. And girls love bad boys."
"No. I never kissed anyone. And girls don't like bad boys" He shrugged. He was barely 10 when he gave up connecting to people for the sake of his relationship with Chikai. So of course he didn't get close enough to any girl he could do that sort of thing with. And people were usually scared of him, rather than attracted... "And you? Other than Kazuki."
"That doesn't count!" Enta seemed annoyed it was even brought up. He punished his friend with a push, which made him laugh, and Enta pouted "Stop that! Shut up! Geez. No, I never kissed anyone other than- " he shook his head and quickly corrected himself "I never kissed anyone."
"Why not? You weren't locked up in a prison for the last few years. And people like you. I bet you had a lot of chances" Tooi went serious again. Of course, he already knew the reason. He studied Enta's troubled expression as he gave it a thought, then sighed and decided to speak up. "You still like him, right?"
Enta shook his head in a negative, which Tooi ignored.
"Stop doing this to yourself. If you wait for Kazuki your whole life, you're going to end alone. Kazuki don't-"
"Are you curious about kissing?"
"What?"
"You said you never did it before. You- you don't want to know how it feels?"
Ah.
Tooi raised his eyebrows, and felt a cold bout of anxiety. That.. sounded too much like an invitation. Where was Enta trying to
get to with that conversation? What was the right answer? What was he supposed to say...
"...Tooi?"
"No!" he blurted, moving his now red face from one side to the other. Enta eyebrows narrowed and he parted lips in a clearly disappointed expression that Tooi couldn't deal with. "I.. mean... of course. Of course I get curious sometimes, but..."
Enta waited for the conclusion of the phrase, looking itently at him. He was... staring... too much..... Tooi couldn't look back. He looked to the wall instead.
"But... nothing." He shrugged. "Y-yeah. I'm a little curious... I-I guess."
He didn't check if Enta's face changed. There was a long silence. The atmosphere tensed up, with the expectations and insecurities of both boys being almost palpable around them. Both wanted that moment to end... and both kept extending it, not fully ready for the next one.
Finally, Enta got up. The sound of him pulling his seat pillow close to Tooi's and sitting down on it again, alarmingly close to his friend, was strikingly similar to a count-down timer in Tooi's mind. He could hear his breath from there. It was the only thing he could hear, other than Fifa's pause menu song and his own heartbeat getting quicker every second. He listened to the other pulling air through his mouth, as if getting ready to say something hard. The countdown got to zero.
"You want to try it?"
There it was. Godamnit. He knew it, he should have be ready for it. Yet, he wasn't; his face burnt and he struggled thinking straight. Did he want to try it? Did he??? Of course he wanted to know what that felt like. Of course he imagined lips touching his own multiple times before. It's just.. the other person he imagined... never had Enta's face. And now that they had, it was scary.
What if he hated it? What if Enta hated it?
Maybe he wasn't sure he wanted a kiss, but he was damn sure he didn't want to disappointed Enta. And it seemed like there was no way Enta would leave not disappointed, no matter what answer he gave.
He was suddenly hyper aware of the little scars in his mouth, from pulling out dried skin instead of using a lip balm like a proper person. And how he skipped the mouthwash step last time he brushed his teeth. And how godamn warm his tongue was. Was that normal warm? Was it way too hot? Would they even use their tongues-
He felt hands against his cheek, and it interrupted his weird train of thoughts. They pulled his face so he finally looked Enta eye to eye, for the first time since Tooi admitted to be curious. They were so close. He could see Enta's pores, amplified under his round glasses. They were strangely cute. Their noses touched. He inspired the same air Enta just let go. That felt weirdly intimate. That wasn't bad. He closed his eyes and leaned in. Their lips found each other. They were kissing.
They... they were really doing this.
They were kissing.
Enta's lips felt soft, if a little sticky for some reason. They smelled like fresh strawberries. They rubbed against Tooi's for a couple second, then opened apart, and Enta sticked his tongue out, pushing it inside Tooi's mouth. It was as warm as his own, for Tooi's relief. His breath tasted like mint halls. Tooi pulled away, furrowing his brows.
"What's wrong?"
"You were already planning all this, weren't you!?"
"Of course not..! It was all in the warmth of the moment!"
"You could have at least warned me before!" He wouldn't have skipped the mouthwash if he had been warned.
"You wouldn't come if I told you before!"
Tooi didn't answer. He was probably right. They stayed silent for a moment. Then Enta talked.
"Was it.. bad?" His voice was pure apprehension. It was small and trembled a bit.
"It wasn't bad." Tooi reassured, quickly, even though he didn't really have had the time to decide either he liked it or not yet.
Enta let go a relieved sigh, then smiled at him.
"I liked it too." He sounded a lot different now from five seconds ago. It made Tooi blush.
"Did you really..?" That was surprising, but.. oddly reassuring. Enta didn't seem disappointed. In fact, he was leaning in Tooi's direction once again, raising his hand to touch the back of his neck. His heart started racing, one more time, but it didn't feel as heavy now. He didn't feel as anxious. He closed his eyes and slighty raised his chin, and then they were kissing, again.
It felt less awkward this time, and a little less scary. They spent more time with their mouths closed, more time exploring how to fit their faces together, how comforting having each other's breath caressing their cheeks felt. Sometimes, you could hear light pecks over the energetic, sportsy videogame tune. Then, the sound of lightly sucking. A little later, of saliva mixing and air invading through the little gaps whenever they moved their mouths to find a more comfortable position. Enta's fingers mixed with Tooi's hairstrands, first caressing, softly, then holding thight onto it, while it turned more and more into a full make out session; Tooi still had no idea what to do with his hands. Enta picked up one of them from the floor and pulled it to his own waist, and he obliged.
His cheeks felt warm. His body felt warm. His heart felt warm - it was still beating fast, but steadily. A little groan escaped from his throat, but he couldn't afford to feel embarrassed anymore. The body under his fingers also felt warm, even with the clothes above it. Without stopping the kiss, Enta climbed onto Tooi's lap. He could feel his whole weight. They were too close. It was too warm. He groaned again. There was a pressure on his lower stomach. Enta sucked on his lip. Enta let go of his hair and hugged his neck. His heart was too fast. Their hearts were too close. He felt Enta's whole body. Warm. Hot, actually. It was.. a little.. too much......
He pulled his face away, and pushed Enta from his lap, and breathed deeply through his mouth, pressing his eyelids close together. Enta moved away. The realization of what just happened hit him all of once. He could feel just how red he was. And Enta was watching. He grunted, and covered his face with his hands. Too much.
"Y..you're okay?"
"Yeah"
"Did I go too far..?"
"Y..yeah" Should he really admit that out loud? That was embarassing. Well, it was not like Enta couldn't see it. He could have lied if that was Kazuki.
Not that- not that he would ever make out like this with Kazuki.
Why the hell was he thinking at Kazuki in such a time...
"Sorry.."
"No, it's fine." He took the hands of his face, and looked at his friend again, though not directly, and not in the eyes. Enta went back to his side of the table, and observed him from there, looking a little worried.
"Sorry." He repeated himself "I know.. I know you probably didn't want to do this with a guy..."
Tooi's brows twitched. Of COURSE that was Enta's takeaway from it all.
"I don't mind it, Enta"
"But you'd prefer-"
"No, it was fine like this"
"If I was a girl, then you-"
"Stop talking over me!" Toi rolled his eyes, then narrowed his brows while leaning slightly in Enta's direction, annoyed. "You don't know what I'd prefer! I liked it, so don't beat yourself up for no reason!"
Enta had his eyebrows all the way up on his forehead and a deep pink coloring his cheeks. Then he smiled.
"I.. I mean.."
"So you like boys."
"I... don't hate boys", Tooi corrected. He never gave it much thought. There were some guys that got his attention before, but one of them was a crossdresser, and the rest he met while locked away with a bunch of other boys, no girls, teen hormones on full, so.. did any of those even really count? Maybe he was just able to recognize when a fellow male looked nice. Nothing gay about that.
But he couldn't expend on his answer, because Enta seemed very satisfied with it.
He pressed his mouth closed, as if holding back a laugh – he was, a relief one - then leaned over the table in a fast motion, picking up Tooi's hand from its edge and squeezing it between his own, staring Tooi deep into his eyes. His own eyes were glistening, his face flushed, but very determined about something.
"Tooi. Let’s date."