Work Text:
Wednesday starts off better than Liam expects. He walks into the office, cup of coffee in one hand, Zayn’s hand in the other, and not one coworker notices the new relationship.
Last night, after eating Thai take out at his flat, they’d spent hours talking about their relationship and figuring out what they both wanted. It was pretty clear that they’d both wanted to be together for a while now and were ready to be in a serious relationship. One thing led to another and soon they were tangled together on Liam’s bed drifting to sleep when Zayn kissed him one last time and whispered “Goodnight boyfriend.” And that was that. So Liam has a boyfriend now.
They exit the elevator and walk to Liam’s desk. “I’m in meetings all morning. See you at lunch,” Zayn says. He pecks Liam on the cheek before he walks across the office to his own desk. Still, not a single person says anything about their relationship. Guess he was worried about nothing.
He’s got a busy day ahead of him, with printing and organizing three large portfolios in preparation for a meeting with the executives tomorrow. As the Lead Marketing Assistant, Liam has more responsibilities than the other assistants, Harry, Louis, and Margaret. While Liam waits for the computer to start up, he pops his head over the top of the cubicle to talk with Harry and Louis, but neither are at their desk. Harry’s phone is at his desk, though, as is a half-eaten banana.
He checks Niall’s cubicle across the office from him. Niall looks up from his computer screen. “Hey Liam,” he says as he removes one earbud to hear.
“Morning Niall, you seen Harry and Louis?”
Niall shrugs. “Dunno. Probably grabbing tea from the break room. At least they’re having a nice relaxing morning while the rest of us waste away at our desks. I can’t believe I’m stuck working on the frickin’ Outreach Report with Brad because of those wankers.”
“Sorry, mate. can’t believe Chandra stuck that on you. I’ll let you get back to it.” Liam offers him a sympathetic smile and heads back to his cubicle. It really is unfortunate that Niall has to write the Outreach Report. It’s an unfortunate punishment for the accident that Louis and Harry had instigated at Monday’s meeting.
Back at his desk, Liam sips his coffee as he reads through the few emails that had piled up in his inbox overnight. He gets through the first three messages and opens the fourth. He startles as a buzzing echoes throughout the office. Liam, Harry, Zayn, and Niall’s phones all vibrate simultaneously. That must be the weekly group text.
Liam groans.
He unlocks his phone and sure enough, there is a blurry gif of a camel in an office. Liam has the text memorized by now, “Guess what day it is? It’s hump day. Whoop Whoooop!”
Louis has made a tradition of texting their group chat the same gif on Wednesday. Every Wednesday. The first time was funny, Liam was happy to be getting along with his new coworkers enough to be included in the group texts. But after two years of the same meme, he’s had enough.
His phone buzzes in his pocket. He takes it out and sees another notification for the group chat.
Louis (09:12): 🐪🐫🐪
Maybe if he just ignores Louis’ antics he will stop sending the meme every week. He’d already tried a few different tactics, to no avail. He had reasoned that it wasn’t professional (Louis laughed). He’d bargained with a round of drinks (Louis drank the free booze, but kept sending the gif anyway). And he had even threatened to kick him out of the group chat (Harry wouldn’t let him).
He sets his phone down and starts reading through the last email. He doesn’t even get to the end of the line before the next message comes through.
Louis (09:14): Whoop whooop!
Louis (09:14): 🐪🐫🐪 🐫🐪
Louis (09:15): 🐪🐫🐪 🐫🐪🐪🐫🐫🐪
Louis (09:17): 🐫🐪 🐪🐪🐫🐫🐪🐪🐫🐪🐪🐫🐫🐪
No one has responded to Louis, so of course he’s reacting maturely. Liam sighs. If one more message comes through, he’s going to have to respond, just to get Louis to stop.
Louis (09:21): 🐫🐪🐪🐪🐫🐫🐫🐪🐪🐫🐪🐪🐫🐫🐪🐪🐫🐪🐪🐫🐫🐫🐪🐪🐫🐪🐪🐫🐫🐪
Liam (09:21): LOUIS STOP! PLS
Louis (09:21): Whale whale whale look who finally decided to respond.🐋
Harry (09:21): 🤣🤣🤣
Liam’s really in for it now. Whenever those two team up and bring out the puns, the chat becomes a mess. Unfortunately it looks like he’s alone in this, as Zayn is in a meeting and Niall turns off his phone whenever he has to focus.
Liam (09:22): We get it, it’s Wednesday. You don’t need to spam the chat with camels!!!
Louis (09:22): Don’t be shellfish 🦐 Maybe Zayn or Niall didn’t remember what day it is.
Harry (09:23): Thanks for always letting minnow 🐟 what day it is babe! 😘
Louis (09:23):No probs baby! 😘
Liam (09:23): Dkjsafdkhj you two are too much 🤦♂️
Harry (09:23): That’s hippo-critical coming from you 🦛
Louis (09:24): Yeah we saw you and Zayn this morning 👨❤️💋👨 k-i-s-s-i-n-g
Harry (09:24): Finally! You two were giraffing 🦒 us crazy with all your pining 🤣
Liam blushes. He hadn’t thought anyone had seen. The office had been mostly empty when they’d arrived. Even though he has no reason to be, he’s still nervous about the office knowing about their relationship.
He stares at the chat trying to think of a response that won’t let on to how flustered he is. Nothing comes to mind. Louis and Harry don’t bother waiting for a response before they start to spam the chat with seemingly every funny kissing gif they can find. A new gif comes in every couple seconds.
“Good morning Liam.” Chandra appears next to Liam’s desk, startling him.
“Good morning,” he responds as he quickly scrambles to lock his phone, but Chandra surely noticed he was holding it.
“You’re working on those portfolios for tomorrow right?”
“Yes. They’ll be ready to go this afternoon.” His phone buzzes loudly on the desk.
“Good, I’m expecting your best work Liam. I hope you aren’t too distracted to manage this project.”
“No, definitely not. I’ll get right on it.” Liam feels a bit ashamed at being caught texting when he should be working.
Chandra nods and then leaves without another word. Chandra is usually a pretty chill boss, but she does run a tight ship, especially when important projects come through their department.
As soon as Chandra exits the office, Liam’s phone starts buzzing again.
Harry (09:32): Well that was hawkward 🦅
Liam (09:32): You could stop 😫
Louis (09:33): Sorry, we didn’t do it on porpoise 🐬
Harry (09:33): We’ll stop badgering 🦡 you now
Liam sighs audibly and mutes the chat. The shame he feels is quickly overrun by the annoyance that once again Harry and Louis instigated a problem and but someone else got caught for it.
Liam turns back to his computer, ready to start on printing up the portfolios. He sees that there is a new email. And it’s from Louis. It only has a 🦓 in the subject line. Liam rolls his eyes but clicks to open the email anyway.
It’s another meme, this time of a zebra with pale stripes. It says, “Printer Toner Low Please Replace Cartridge”
Liam laughs to himself. Sometimes he does enjoy the memes Louis sends, though he’d never admit that to Louis.
Well, Liam had better go help Louis fix the printer. The last time Louis tried to replace the printer cartridges, he’d somehow ended up with black toner sprayed all over a new pair of Vans. There was a black streak in his hair for days and there is still stain in the carpet. After all, he can’t print his portfolios if the printer is out of ink.