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Rey withdrew her hand first, though she wasn’t quite aware she was doing it. She barely noticed the way his fingers twitched as she pulled away, as if he was going to reach for her again. Ben’s hand lingered there for a moment, then finally withdrew and came to rest on his leg. When their contact broke, it was as if a storm around them abruptly stopped and left them in pristine silence but for tiny ripples through the Force, like raindrops falling from trees.
A thousand thoughts ran through her head, but she found herself at a loss for words, staring back at him and wishing he would speak first. Part of her was with the Resistance, her mind going through a dozen scenarios where this small moment changed everything for them. Luke was wrong--she was wrong, they were all wrong. Ben was the one she was meant to bring back. There was finally something to be certain of.
He breathed, and she felt herself come back to the immediate moment. She’d been this close to him before, strapped down with him breathing down her neck as he tried to pry her mind open, or locked in battle with only their lightsabers in the way of their bodies. But this was a different man, a different feeling. She wished that the galaxy would hold still, the Resistance and the First Order both frozen in time so she could stay right here forever to make up for every night she’d spent alone. Every night he’d spent alone.
He carefully shifted off his makeshift seat, moving slow as if to keep from frightening an animal away. He shifted himself closer to her, removed the glove from his other hand, and tentatively reached out again. Rey absently shook her head.
“I...I think that’s enough for now.”
His hand still reached for her.
“Without the Force,” he said, quiet but eager. She looked from his hand to his eyes, and felt compelled to reach out again, unsure of what he wanted. As her fingers neared his once more, his hand hovered over hers, pausing for a moment as if to ask if it was all right. When she said nothing, he took her hand and began to draw her closer. She shifted on the dirt floor, leaning forward to where he was leading her.
She thought her heart beat hard when he’d first stopped her in the forest on Takodana. That was nothing compared to now. And yet her instinct to run, to flinch away, to defend herself, was replaced entirely by this newfound trust, one lonely soul to another. Every other thought was gone from her mind. He lifted her hand and gently placed her palm against his cheek. From light years away, she could feel that he was warm, that his skin was surprisingly soft, that his pulse was racing. He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes, as if tasting something luxurious he’d never tried before. Rey, realizing how long it had been since she’d had such an intimate interaction with anyone, wanted to taste it too.
Ben came in closer, and so did she, shifting her hand until he let go and allowed her to explore freely. He opened his eyes again and watched her, sedated by the touch as her hand slid up the side of his face. Her fingers drifted toward his hair, and in a moment of sudden compulsion, curled her fingers and lightly stroked along the curve behind his ear. An abrupt shiver went through him, and Rey almost pulled back.
“Sensitive,” he mumbled, looking away.
“Sorry,” she whispered, distracted. She moved on to running her fingers through his hair, amazed and how much of him she could feel through this strange bond they had. The awe of it had her in a trance, and then she found herself shivering when she suddenly felt his fingertips against her back, delicate as an insect’s steps. She let her hand fall from his hair, giving him his turn, watching his eyes as he ran his hand up to her shoulder blades, over the back of her neck.
“This is...” He trailed off, his expression suddenly conflicted, shifting almost imperceptibly between the urge to regain his usual stiff decorum and the desire to keep going.
“Yes,” Rey said, only slightly aware of how stupid it sounded.
You’re not alone , she heard in her head. She wasn’t sure if she was saying it to him or herself. Not anymore.
She’d waited long enough for a connection; for someone to know so intimately what she was feeling, for someone to want to stay with her and never leave. She’d had enough waiting.
Rey leaned across the remaining distance between them and kissed him with far more confidence than she felt she had. Ben seemed paralyzed for a moment, letting her shift her weight onto him, letting himself fall back to the ground. They landed awkwardly with Rey between his legs, her chest pressed against his, the kiss deepening.
So soft , she thought, becoming aware of a strange warmth rising within her. Rey pulled back for a breath and finally he began to respond, pulling her back into him, lips brushing lightly against hers before fully pressing against them. His hands found her hips and she could sense the change between them--his passiveness morphing into the fervor he displayed in battle, her own reservations turning into playful challenge. The world seemed so far behind them, as if they transcended this hut, this island, their bodies, until…
They nearly flung themselves apart, Rey scrambling into a crouch, Ben leaning back on his hands. They’d both sensed it.
Rey stared at the door to the hut, then looked back at Ben. Everything about him seemed to revert. His body tensed, his gaze hardened, he became that creature that first held a lightsaber to her neck that day.
“Meet me,” he said, his eyes on her though his mind was clearly elsewhere. Immediately she knew where she would find him; he’d pushed the thought into her mind like a letter shoved into her hands at the last moment.
Meet me, she thought, her mind clearing, sobering up. The war. We’re going to end the war.
The door opened. There was a shout, and an explosion, and a sudden downpour drenching her to the bone. When she looked up, Ben was gone. For a fleeting second she wondered if it was a dream, and then she saw Luke, and the fury that had been building up with every moment he dismissed her finally surged into a full, body-shaking rage.