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The light half-blinds Kakashi. When it fades there's another ninja in the room, so of course they fight. It's a very polite scuffle — both of them want information more than anything else — and when it's over Kakashi is dangling cooperatively from several Mokuton branches. It's uncomfortable.
"Tenzō?" Kakashi asks hopefully. The other good option is Hashirama, but Kakashi hopes this isn't time travel. Time travel is the worst.
Optimism during trying times is important, so Kakashi doesn't consider the bad options.
Kakashi's opponent steps into view. It is, thankfully, Tenzō: still looking ready for a fight, but willing to listen.
"Hey, hey, you changed your clothes! Me too!" Naruto twists and turns, showing off his jumpsuit from several angles. "I knew we'd find you, you jerk. You're coming back to the village with me!"
Naruto should be far away, training with Jiraiya, but Sasuke can't see anything off about him that couldn't be explained by more than a year out of contact. Still... something isn't right. His tone, maybe. His body language. The lack of a chūnin vest.
Also, Sasuke has recently had painful contact with an unknown seal, which is never good.
"What's rule one?" Sasuke asks.
"Whaddya mean?"
Sakura says, "It's okay, Shikako will work out what's going on."
Other Sakura says, "Who?" and a chill crawls up Sakura's spine.
"Nara Shikako," she tells this other version of herself slowly. "You must know her."
"We have a Nara Shikamaru?" Other Sakura makes a gesture above her head, showing the shape of Shikamaru's usual ponytail. "Maybe their gender—?"
"Shikako is Shikamaru's twin," Sakura interrupts. She presses her lips in a thin line. She can't imagine a world without Shikako. It's wrong. "Who's on Team 7?"
"Me. Us. With Naruto and Sasuke."
Sakura shivers. Her alternate self is so unlucky.
Sai makes his way back to the room with the seal as quickly as possible. He finds a girl dressed as a Konoha jōnin crouched over the seal. Like all ROOT operatives, Sai has memorized all of the jōnin in of Konoha, and she was not among them.
"Sai." Her face is open. Friendly. "Your team is on their way here."
He doesn't like that she knows his name, or that she knows where Sakura and Naruto are. He'd rather fight than play along with her infiltration.
"I know you're an imposter."
Her face drops all expression. She becomes unreadable.
Sasuke talks about his one teammate like Naruto should know her, but Naruto is pretty sure that Shikamaru doesn't have a sister. The other two members of Sasuke's team are Kakashi and Sakura, and at least that makes sense, but Naruto does wonder where he is. The other him.
Did Iruka-sensei not pass the other him? Is Shikako the reason this Sasuke is a jōnin instead of a missing-nin?
Naruto doesn't want to ask. At least this Sasuke is pretty nice.
"I'm here with Yamato and Sakura and Sai," Naruto says instead. "Do you know Sai? He's kind've a jerk."
Yamato and Kakashi are the last to arrive. There's a Nara jōnin adding things to the seal. While they wait for her to finish, Kakashi's Sakura tells him that her name is Shikako.
"We all just have to touch the seal again," she says when she lifts her brush. "Simple."
"You're so cool," Naruto says. He's bouncing eagerly on the edge of the seal; Tenzō's Sakura has a hand gripping the back of his jacket tightly.
"Thanks," Shikako says, without looking at Naruto. She hasn't looked at Yamato's team even once. Mysterious, but miraculously not Yamato's problem; he's going home.
When the seal finishes sending their visitors back, Shikako dusts off her hands. "Well," she says. "That's over. And it was horrible. Let's never mention it again."
Unhelpfully, Sakura says, "We'll have to tell Tsunade."
"No way," Shikako says. She gestures at Kakashi. "He has to tell Tsunade. She put him in charge."
Kakashi's shoulders slump dramatically. He fixes her with a wounded look. Shikako remains unmoved. They finish their mission.
It wasn't that bad. Shouldn't have been. Nothing bad happened; as far as derailed missions go it was barely noticeable.
But Shikako doesn't want to think about it. Ever.