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Kevin sits in the driver’s seat of his car, a 2005 Ford-something-something beige colored lump of motor that he got as a (quite expensive) hand-me-down from his mom for his eighteenth birthday. He should probably know more about the thing since it’s technically his now, but if Kevin was being completely honest, he couldn’t care less about car brands or models; he just wanted to be able to get places without having to ask his older sister for a ride. The car is pretty nice, though. Lots of… space. Yeah. It’s just a regular degular car.
He’s getting impatient waiting for Jacob. Kevin already scrolled through his entire Twitter timeline, skipped his way through every Instagram story on both his personal account and finsta, and watched a YouTube video about a puppy getting a haircut, all while he waited for his best friend to finish his Physics tutoring session. Kevin thinks it’s truly admirable how Jacob, at his eighteen years of age, has enough patience to not only understand the basic laws of physics, but teach them to fellow high school kids who only know how to charge their phones, eat hot chip and lie. He also appreciates the view of Jacob when focused on a difficult science problem – him in his reading glasses, hair pushed back, furrowed brows and pink tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration... yeah. Where was he again?
Kevin doesn’t usually smoke when he’s by himself, choosing to save the occasion for when he’s with his friends, but he figures that sparking up a joint would be better than sitting on his phone and waiting for stupid Jacob to stop being a nerd and chatting up younger students in the library. He’d smoke with him when he came back either way.
Kevin pulls a rolled joint out of the pocket of his hoodie and holds it between his lips while he looks for his lighter in the glove compartment. He internally thanks himself for keeping a spare in his car specifically for hotboxing sessions, seeing as he keeps fucking losing his regular ones. He finally finds it between his sketchbook and an unfinished Chemistry worksheet that’s due sometime this week. Kevin holds the lighter up to the joint and sparks it, taking his first drag of the day.
A coughing fit immediately ensues, and he bitterly remembers buying the joint from one of the tenth graders, a short dude named Eric who was trying to make some money on the side by selling various marijuana-related products, including hand-rolled artisanal joints. Kevin already knew Eric because they shared mutual friends, but when the kid approached him at a houseparty with a long, heartfelt speech about his new side gig, Kevin was deeply touched by the young entrepreneur and bought a few of his products. He had, like, $10 to spare anyways. He’s regretting it now though, seeing as whatever the fuck Eric had sold him was stronger than the strain he usually smoked. Though, to be fair, Kevin likes to get high occasionally. He’s never been interested in the culture surrounding weed; he barely knows anything about fruit-flavored rolling papers, weed strains with cocktail names, and the whole extravaganza. All he knows is that his throat burns like hell and he’d love to have some water right now.
After he’s stopped coughing his left lung out, Kevin sparks the lighter on the tip again and takes another drag, shorter this time. He holds it for a few seconds and exhales, watching the smoke disappear from eye’s view. He turns on the radio for some background noise, and then immediately changes the station when he hears the chorus of an Ed Sheeran song playing. Kevin settles for one of those indie radio stations that Jacob likes to listen to and softly nods his head along to the music while he smokes. After a while, his eyelids begin to feel heavy and he shuts them, basking in the comfortable feeling of having his head slightly up in the clouds.
Knock, knock, knock.
Kevin lunges forward so abruptly that he almost drops the joint to the ground, gripping his chest and turning his head towards the source of the noise. Outside, Jacob is sporting an amused grin, knuckles pressed against the glass of the car window.
“God, fuck. Jesus Christ,” Kevin swears after leaning to the side and opening the car door for Jacob. “You fucking scared me. Thought you were a cop or something.”
“Don’t blaspheme,” Jacob says, only half jokingly, while he shuts the door and makes himself comfortable in the passenger’s seat. He turns to look at Kevin, distraught. “No way, you started without me!”
“Well, yeah? You were taking forever in there,” Kevin responds, passing the joint to his friend.
Jacob takes a slow drag and frowns. “What is this?” he asks while holding his breath. He releases it shakily after a moment and inspects the joint between his fingers, holding it close to his face.
“Don’t know, got it from Eric,” Kevin answers, like Jacob would have any idea who Eric is.
“Who?”
“Some kid.”
Jacob nods pensively and takes another drag. He likes to take his time with the joint, sitting back and holding the smoke in his lungs, dragging out his high like he had all the time in the world. Jacob closes his eyes as he exhales and Kevin watches in silence, admiring the way his eyelashes flutter against his cheekbones. Jacob’s eyelashes are weirdly long, he’s noticed. When his friend opens his eyes again Kevin averts his gaze, suddenly finding the glove compartment very interesting.
“Yeah,” Jacob murmurs, passing the joint back to Kevin. He takes it between his fingers and brings his up to his lips. Kevin tries his hardest not to think haha you’re indirect kissing him and fails, as he every other time they do this. “Was helping some third year with Mechanics.”
Kevin exhales and blinks. “Mechanics? I thought you were tutoring Physics.”
A beat passes. “I am.”
Kevin nods, a little too buzzed to question it, and turns his attention back to the joint.
They smoke in comfortable silence, enjoying the music coming from the car speakers at a low volume and the view of the local library’s parking lot on a saturday afternoon. Kevin enjoys having Jacob by his side while he smokes. He’s probably the only person he’s felt fully comfortable doing this with. Something about his presence is calming, reassuring, even more so when he’s high. Plus, Jacob tends to ramble about random topics while he’s under any type of influence and Kevin enjoys the sound of his voice, likes to hear him talk. They complement each other.
“Did you know,” Jacob says after a while, because his brain is like a vault for random fun facts, “that Isaac Newton died a virgin?”
“Serves him right for inventing gravity,” Kevin half-heartedly replies.
“Except he didn’t.”
“What? Invent gravity?”
“No, die a virgin. He actually lived with his,” and Jacob makes air quotes with the hand that isn’t holding the joint, “ male friend until they both got old and died. Or something like that.”
“That’s gonna be me and you,” Kevin slumps his body against the car door, facing Jacob fully.
Jacob blinks in slow motion and stares at Kevin like he’s stupid. “Kevin, they were fucking.”
Kevin blinks back. “I know.”
A dopey grin slowly creeps its way up Jacob’s face, and Kevin amusedly watches his friend’s cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink as he punches his shoulder with a giggle. “Shut up.”
Kevin’s reaction comes delayed. He jokingly grips his shoulder and contorts his face down to a grimace, feigning hurt. Jacob laughs like Kevin was the funniest person in the world, slapping his knee and doubling over in slow motion. Or, at least to Kevin it appeared in slow motion. He wouldn’t mind if time slowed down while he was with Jacob. If anything, it meant that he could stare at him for a little longer, taking in his beauty, basking in the warmth that he radiates.
“Duuude,” Kevin draws out around a laugh after Jacob has calmed down from his laughing fit.
“Duuuuude,” Jacob parrots, playfulness tinting his features. “Kevin.”
“Mm,” he turns to Jacob, lids heavy. His friend is staring at him with a glint in his eye, and Kevin watches closely as he brings up what’s left of the joint and places it between his lips, holding the smoke for a second before leaning to the side and getting close to Kevin’s face.
He wants to turn away, overwhelmed by their proximity, but the cogs in Kevin’s brain don’t turn fast enough for his reflexes to kick in, so the only thing that he can do is stay in his place and hold his breath. They’re both still for what feels like an eternity, until Jacob purses his lips and blows the smoke towards Kevin’s slightly parted own.
Kevin is in a daze, unable to tear his eyes away from Jacob’s pink, slightly chapped lips. He opens his mouth just slightly, breathing in the secondhand smoke and feeling his head float up and away into the clouds. God, he wants to kiss him so badly. Kevin wonders what would happen if he leaned in just a little bit and closed the gap between them. Would Jacob kiss him back? Would he be able to blame it on his high after they came down?
“Jake,” he finally croaks out. The air between them is sticky and heavy with smoke and tension. Jacob leans a few inches away from his face and meets his eyes, expectant smile on his lips. Kevin’s stomach flips and his heart beats fast. What did he want to tell him again?
“Kevin,” and then he leans forward again. “Are you going to kiss me or do I have to do all the work here?”
A beat of tension-filled silence passes. He doesn’t know whether it’s the high giving him some renewed confidence or if it’s Jacob’s words doing the trick, but Kevin surges forward and presses his mouth against Jacob’s, not thinking about it twice. Kevin’s head spins when Jacob kisses back tentatively, feeling the pressure against his lips.
His friend is grinning when he pulls back, head tilted just slightly. Kevin tries to look him in the eye but they’re so close to each other’s faces that he goes cross-eyed. He thinks Jacob looks hot even when he’s cross-eyed and heavy-lidded like this. “Took you long enough,” his friend jokes, voice low and breathy.
“Oh shut up,” Kevin frowns and hits Jacob’s shoulder weakly, no real malice behind it. Jacob breaks out into another fit, his characteristic loud and bubbly laughter resonating in Kevin’s ears. Kevin thinks Jacob might be the most breathtakingly beautiful boy he has ever seen.
In front of them, the sun is setting behind the library building. It casts light over Jacob’s face, making him squint his eyes and turn away. Kevin’s car stinks of weed and he’s so high that he doesn’t even feel like himself anymore. Jacob kisses him silly, ignoring the fact that they’re parked in the middle of a public library’s parking lot, taking his time with him and cupping his face in his calloused hands. Kevin faintly recognizes the song playing on the radio and involuntarily smiles against Jacob’s lips.
High all the time, high all the time
I wanna be high all the time
Would you come with me?