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"Jisung? JISUNG!”
I snapped my eyes open and quickly sprung up from my bed.
“What, what is it?” Hyunjin snorted at my disheveled hair and lopsided glasses.
“Come on we’re leaving for practice in 10 minutes. You gotta get ready.”
Aw crap.
I scrambled around the room while smoothing down my hair and adjusting my glasses to get my stuff together. Distantly I could hear Chan hyung yelling at me that we were going to be late.
“I’M COMING.” I bellowed out in response. I threw on a random shirt and grabbed my shoes. Then I made my way down the stairs, grabbing a granola bar and an apple to eat on the drive there before sprinting outside right as the cars starting leaving. (Yes they had left me at the dorms before and yes I did have to walk to practice)
It was only when I finally swung the door shut behind me and put my seatbelt on that I allowed myself to take a breath and melt into the cushion. I slipped my glasses off and rubbed my face in exhaustion. Hyunjin poked at my cheeks while giggling at my limp arms.
“That’s what you get for sleeping in Hannie!"
“Aw shut up Hyunjin like it’s any easier to get you out of bed in the morning.” Minho snorted at my comment.
“I don’t know you’ve been sleeping pretty late these days Sungie.”
I gasped in mock betrayal and stuck my bottom lip out, turning to Changbin for pity.
“Come on Hyung that’s not true right?” Changbin just swung his arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders and said,
“I gotta say Jisung, it’s becoming more your thing than Hyunjin’s nowadays.”
Even Chan turned from his seat in the front to chime in. "Yah! Han Jisung! We only have 5 minutes to get to the company now!"
I opened my mouth to shoot back an excuse, but I was cut off by the driver swerving and my arms jerking sideways. Despite the music blasting from our car, I clearly heard the distinct snap of my glasses frame breaking in my hand. All I could think was about how I’d just ruined a perfectly good pair of glasses when a car slammed into my door and I blacked out.
I came to a couple minutes later, hanging upside down and still clutching my glasses. My eyes drifted around the car wreckage and settled on what was in my hand.
Fingers trembling, I lifted my not-actually broken glasses to my face, slipping them behind my ears. Joy rushed through my body and I looked around to tell somebody the good news. I couldn’t see anyone exactly but a few minutes passed and a watery wailing sound reached my ears, soon followed by a strangers face peering at me. I giggled a little and waved at them, pointing to my face.
“Look! My glasses didn’t break!” The face frowned at me and moved their mouth, distorted noises coming from it. I just beamed back at then and opened my eyes wide to show them my unharmed glasses. Louder noises rang in my ears and slowly I was able to make sense of what the stranger was trying to tell me.
“Hello, Hello? Sir, we need you to stay calm, you’ve been involved in a car accident.”
I could hear what they said, but my head felt foggy and the words didn’t make any sense. Their face blurred in front of me and then came back into focus. I wanted to point out the fact that they also wore glasses, but my words came out slurred and jumbled. I felt a pair of hands reach behind my head and slip something around my neck. The hands closed the neck brace with a loud snap, and suddenly I could hear everything.
The music from our car had been replaced with the wail of ambulance sirens, and the air was filled with the stern voices of paramedics. I could faintly hear what sounded like sobbing coming from behind me, where Hyunjin had been sitting. There was movement in my peripheral vision so I snapped my eyes up above the strangers head and was met with Chan’s glassy eyes.
His whole figure was shaking and his hands muffled the endless apologies spilling from his mouth. He looked terrified. I didn’t understand why he was so scared, I mean I’m fine right? I tried to grin and wave to reassure him but my arms felt strangely heavy. I lifted my hand to my face, only to find it streaked with red. Hysterical laughter punctuated by odd little gasps fell from my lips.
“Haha look Chan Hyung, I look like a strawberry!” Chan’s eyes widened, face paling and he stumbled away from me. “J-jisung?” His voice wavered with fear and uncertainty. “Don’t worry about me Hyung.” I chirped happily, “I’m fine!”
The next time I woke up, it was to the sound of screams and excruciating pain. The stranger from before was still there and I clutched his arm. That’s when I realized I couldn’t breathe. Choked gasps escaped my battered lungs as I struggled to pull in air. I wheezed and the stranger immediately turned and put a mask over my face. Oxygen flooded to my brain, causing black spots to dot my vision. I sighed into the mask and looked over to my right side. There was someone else on a stretcher next to me, their face obscured by an oxygen mask.
It was Minho.
Panic flooded my veins and I tried to asses how injured he was. He was shaking in another paramedic's hold and desperate screams leaked out of the mask covering his mouth and nose.
What is happening? He was just scolding me on sleeping in too late, how did we get here?
"M-minho hyung?" I mumbled, trying to lift myself up to look at him. Pain shot up my arm and I screeched, flopping back down on the stretcher.
The paramedic frantically checked my arm and put a hand on my chest to keep me from getting up again.
"Stay down, you're injured."
I pushed his hand away with my non-throbbing arm and tried to swing my legs off the stretcher. But I stopped.
I couldn't feel my legs.
My breath caught in my throat and I heard the sound of a heart monitor flat-lining. I whipped my head towards Minho, despite the pain that bloomed from the base of my neck and saw how still he had gone.
A sob escaped me and I started yelling incoherently. The second paramedic began performing CPR but all I could hear was the shrill sound of the heart monitor. The stranger holding me down started talking to me, trying to calm me down but it was too much. It was all too much. My head flooded with images of Hyunjin, broken, screaming for help while Chan watched off to the side, unmoving, with dead eyes and pale skin.
They're all dead. They're all dead now.
The words floated in front of me and the heart monitor seemed to be piercing into my brain, making my ears bleed, my own heart rate was accelerating until
everything stopped.
I slowly breathed in and out. Blinked my eyes twice. Swallowed hard, and stared at Minho.
He was breathing. It was okay, he was breathing. The rise and fall of Minho's chest, and the steady beeping of his heart allowed me to finally sink back into the stretcher and let myself drift back into sleep.
The third time I awoke, was a lot less chaotic than the first two times. It was in a clean, sterile room and once again, I wasn't alone. A huddled mess of dark brown curls and pale skin was sitting in a chair to my left, who I identified as Chan.
I didn't want to wake him, and because it wasn't my first time in a hospital room (training accidents and such) I searched with my good arm for the button that would bring a nurse into the room.
Once I had found it and clicked it, I settled back and waited for someone to come in, keeping myself entertained by watching the little snores Chan released when he breathed in.
A few minutes later, a nurse opened the door and scuttled over to me.
"Oh good, you're awake." She smiled sweetly at me, but I ignored her and asked, "Where's Minho?"
"Ah yes, Lee Minho-sshi? He's a couple rooms down the hall, don't worry he and your other friend Hyunjin-sshi are safe."
I sighed and glanced at Chan, who had shifted and was slowly waking up. I thanked the nurse for the information, and then she left me alone with a now awake Chan.
Before he could say anything I blurted out, "Minho and Hyunjin are okay. But do you know anything about Changbin."
Chan's eyes crinkled up and a burst of laughter escaped him.
"Well it's clear you're doing better. You were nearly paralyzed and all you can think about is the other members."
He said that in a light manner, but I could see the haunted look he had in his eyes, and the dark bags that marked his face.
"Changbin's okay, he needed to get surgery done, but he'll be alright."
"That's a relief, what happened?"
Chan sighed and ran his hands through his hair.
"Somebody drove into the side of our car. It was right on your door too. It didn't affect me as much because I had an airbag so all I had was a couple bruised ribs, but you and Hyunjin got the most of it. The-they said that it was possible you would never walk again."
My eyes widened when Chan said this and I flung the blanket off my legs. Mottled bruises ran up and down my thighs and calfs and one long cut was on my right thigh. I wiggled my toes to see if I could still feel them and by some miracle, they actually moved.
"The doctors said that you're on a lot of pain medication right now, so you still might not be able to feel the extent of your injuries. They did emergency surgery on your back so you also can't walk for the next 3 weeks."
"Haha, I guess we'll have to postpone our comeback then."
Chan frowned at me, "That's what you're thinking about right now? The comeback? Jisung you almost died! You need rest forget about having a comeback!" Chan's eyes stared at me and I could see the pain he was in. It confused me, I mean he said he didn't get hurt right? So why was he so bothered?
Later Chan told me exactly what had happened when I saw him at the accident. He told me how I had showed him my mangled arm and smiled with blood dripping from my mouth before my eyes rolled back and I collapsed. He told me how he had seen the others too before they were rushed to the hospital.
He told me all this with shaking hands and tears dripping onto my bed. I held him close as he sobbed and murmured quietly, “it’s okay, we’re all okay now.”
When we got back to the dorms after staying in the hospital for 2 weeks, it felt like nothing had changed. Well yes, I was in a wheelchair, Minho still had stitches in his chest and Hyunjin had a cast wrapped all the way around his right arm, but it was still home.
Felix came running up to me and threw himself into a hug, squeezing me to make sure I would never leave him again.
Seungmin didn't give that extra of a reaction, but I swear I saw him wipe away a tear when Hyunjin wasn't looking. Other than a few moments of grief, and the ones involved in the accident settling back into life at the dorms, everything was completely normal.
Jeongin was helping us get our stuff into our rooms when he asked, "What's that hyung?"
I followed his pointed fingers to the picture frame poking out of my backpack.
"Oh, those are my glasses, I wanted to hang them up because they just feel special to me now."
Jeongin nodded thoughtfully before replying, "Oh I get it hyung, is it because they managed to get through unscathed?"
I chuckled a bit and said, "Yeah, I guess so, I feel like they represent that you can go through something really horrible, but still come out and get better. They just represent the future to me."
Jeongin smiled at me and replied, "That's really cool hyung. Can we hang it up in the living room so that everyone can see it? I'm sure they'd like it too."
Jeongin wheeled me into the living room, so that we could all hang it up together, before bounding off to fin the others. Once everyone had gathered into the living room, Changbin being supported by his crutches and Felix, I cleared my throat.
"Okay, so I wanted to hang these glasses up to remind us all what happened 2 weeks ago." Everyone shifted a bit nervously, the traumatizing memories still a bit fresh. "I understand that it's still a bit of a touchy subject, but I don't want us to avoid talking about it. I know for a fact that there are several people in here who haven't talked about how they felt during the accident, and are having trouble coping with it." I pointedly looked at Chan, Felix and Seungmin.
"I want these glasses to be a symbol that we can get through this, together, no matter what happens."
Chan stepped forward, rubbing his hands on his jeans nervously before voicing his fears.
"I'm afraid that this will happen again. I'm afraid that next time, we won't be as lucky. But I think that most of all, I feel guilty for not being able to help you more."
Seungmin also stepped forward, "I'm afraid that we're going to take the things we have now for granted."
Slowly, one by one, each member said one thing that they're scared of that they've been holding back since the accident.
Once everyone had gone, I handed the picture frame to Jeongin, who hung it up on the wall.
"We'll be okay, we have each other."
We're home.