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“Hey”.
Saïx cocked an eyebrow. “Hello to you too”.
Xemnas snorted and rolled onto his back, jostling Saïx's legs which were slung over his. “It'll be a full moon soon, right?”
Saïx nodded, voice somewhat guarded when he spoke. “Why do you ask?”
Xemnas reached up to ghost his fingers over Saïx's hand. “Can I be there with you?”
Saïx gave him a look of shocked disbelief. “... You want to?”
“I want to”, Xemnas confirmed, and Saïx's face went from disbelief to confusion.
“Why?”
Xemnas knew the answer, but he didn't know if he was ready to put it into words. So he shrugged. “I'm curious. I haven't seen you changed since we were little”.
Saïx copied his shrug. “Well, I look like that, but bigger and less silly. Not much to see”.
Xemnas frowned, thinking about what he could say to make Saïx agree. The answer he arrived at was 'the truth'.
He breathed out softly and rubbed his thumb over the back of Saïx's hand. “It's... Being a lycanthrope is such a big part of your life”. He took a deep breath before looking up to meet Saïx's eyes. “And I'd like to know more about it”.
Saïx cocked his head to the side, an indication that he was thinking it over. Then he averted his eyes and his lips became a thin line, clearly thinking it over even harder. After a while of intense inner deliberation he nodded. “I'll ask mom”, he promised, and Xemnas felt his own face practically light up with a soft smile as he laced their fingers together.
“Thank you”.
~~
Xemnas almost began to regret imposing himself due to the sheer number of people present in the forest clearing. He knew that werewolves typically end up with larger-than-average families and that keeping in touch with family is important to many of them, which means that many extended families tend to stay within the same town or area. The consequence of this custom – as Xemnas was currently realising – was that moon gatherings began to look and sound like a small festival.
Moon gatherings, Saïx had told him once, were basically a way for werewolves to let off some steam. Not in the murderous stalking-human-prey way that books and movies were so fond of portraying, but more like a big wrestling party, all in good fun.
Delighted shouting brought Xemnas out of his thoughts and two of Saïx's younger cousins rushed past, playing a rambunctious game of tag.
The one being chased attempted a sharp turn but slipped on the grass, and the other's momentum caused them to collide and tumble to the ground in a heap. When they sat up, one of them was laughing and the other was howling excitedly, having changed into their wolf form sometime during the fall.
The sight made Xemnas think back to when Saïx and he were little, before Saïx had learnt to control the changing. He would sometimes change spontaneously while playing, and Xemnas would suddenly find himself buried beneath a ball of fluffy fur that would playfully snap at him with blunt teeth. He smiled at the memory and hooked an arm loosely around Saïx's lower back, aiming to pull him closer. He was surprised when Saïx pulled away instead, an apologetic look on his face.
“I need to tell you something”, he said, not meeting Xemnas's eyes. “You know how it's harder for kids to hold back while changed?”
Xemnas nodded. He'd heard stories and anecdotes of varying severity regarding this matter. “I know”.
Saïx briefly met his gaze before looking away again and shifting his weight. “I still... can't really hold it back”, he admitted, and he seemed ashamed of the fact. “Especially if I get riled up or the moon's full, sometimes I just... lose it”. He looked up at the sky, which was quickly growing darker now that night was setting in, and he swallowed visibly. “So if you want to leave now”, he said with his eyes still fixed on the sky, “I understand”.
A soft smile spread across Xemnas's face and he placed a hand gently on Saïx's cheek, encouraging him to meet his eyes again. When he did, Xemnas wrapped him up in a hug and kissed him on the forehead. “I'll stay”, he promised.
Saïx still looked conflicted as he leaned his head on Xemnas's shoulder and took a deep breath. “What if I hurt you?”
Xemnas smiled and hugged him closer. “You've never hurt me before”.
“I wasn't as strong before”, Saïx pointed out, but it felt like more of a customary show of reluctance than an actual protest.
“Neither was I”, Xemnas countered and pulled back to scratch behind Saïx's ear, voice calm and reassuring. “It'll be fine”.
Saïx's eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into the touch. He took a deep breath, let it out, and nodded before he opened his eyes to finally meet Xemnas's. “Then I'll be glad to have you here”.
“We'll all be glad to have you”, came another voice from behind them, and they turned their heads to see Aqua walking toward them with a smile. “It's been a while since we had an audience”.
Saïx nodded and looked back at Xemnas. “I'll go tell the kids to keep away from you. Just in case”. He walked away before Xemnas could protest, leaving him and Aqua to watch his retreating back.
“He's nervous”, Xemnas observed, keeping his voice down.
Aqua nodded. “He's been worrying himself silly over this since you asked to come”.
Xemnas watched her out of the corner of his eye. “Should I not have?”
Aqua shook her head. “He wants you to be here”, she assured him, “but he knows he doesn't have full control, and it scares him”.
Xemnas huffed a laugh. “Can you read everyone that well, or is it just him?”
Aqua smiled. “I'd say it's less reading and more midnight heart-to-heart between siblings”.
“Have a lot of those, do you?” Xemnas asked, and Aqua laughed.
“About you? Hundreds”.
Xemnas joined her laugh, watching as Saïx gathered the kids and crouched down to address them, just far enough away that he couldn't hear what they were saying. However, he could clearly see Saïx point to him and everyone crane their necks to get a good look at him. Xemnas waved, and some of them waved back and giggled, while others started talking over each other at Saïx.
Saïx talked to them some more and ruffled someone's hair with a laugh before returning to Xemnas, a teasing smile on his face.
“They want to know if you're going to become stronger when you grow up”, he relayed to him, and Aqua held back a small snort.
Before Xemnas could think of how best to defend himself, he was interrupted by the arrival of Eraqus, the designated uncle of the pack. Xemnas actually had no idea whose uncle he was, and Saïx's extended family was so big that it felt like too much of a chore to find out.
“It's about to start”, Eraqus announced and gave Xemnas a smile. “We'll be keeping an eye on you, so there's no need to worry”.
“I'm not really worried”, Xemnas replied, and Eraqus's smile grew slightly wider.
“I know, I was talking about Saïx”. He gave a short laugh at Saïx's affronted face and ruffled his hair before he walked toward the people already gathering in the middle of the clearing.
Aqua followed him, but Saïx stayed behind. He took a deep breath before looking up at Xemnas with a soft, almost pleading, look in his eyes. “Can you do something for me?” After a nod of confirmation from Xemnas, he breathed out and continued. “Stay standing up, keep your arms still, act confident and keep calm”. Then he furrowed his brow in thought before adding, “And if something happens, climb a tree. Calmly”.
Xemnas tried his best not to snort at that mental picture and instead nodded before pulling Saïx closer to press a kiss to his temple. “I will”. He felt Saïx relax against him and he placed another kiss at his hairline. “Love you”, he murmured and felt Saïx hug his waist gently.
“Love you too”, Saïx sighed before stepping back and walking over to join the others.
Everyone were now gathered near the centre of the clearing, their backs straight and their eyes fixed on the sky, just in time for the moon to appear over the treetops. Something that Xemnas could only describe as a shudder of energy passed through the clearing, and he saw Saïx turn his head to look back at him.
Saïx's eyes suddenly flashed a bright yellow - so bright that Xemnas could see it from where he was standing - and he hunched over along with the others as the clearing began to fill with excited yips and howls.
Saïx's hair spread down his back like a ripple, and after less than a second, Xemnas found himself looking at a wolf with steel blue fur and piercing yellow eyes.
Saïx watched Xemnas intently for a second before he let out a sound almost like a bark and lowered the front of his body to the ground, his tail wagging furiously in the air. Then he howled and rolled over, staying low on his stomach before jumping to his feet and bouncing from side to side on his front legs with another series of yips and howls, his eyes still fixed on Xemnas.
Xemnas smiled at the display, mindful not to show his teeth, and Saïx yipped again and bounced on his front legs.
He suddenly let out a startled sound and whipped around to stare at the pup who had nipped at his heel. Saïx growled and nipped back, and then they were off, racing across the clearing and tackling each other to the ground only to get back up and continue the chase with the roles switched.
Xemnas watched them and the others play for a while, until he started to grow tired from standing up. No one seemed to be paying any attention to him at this point – too engrossed in their games to care – so he decided to sit down. Maybe even close his eyes for a second.
When he woke up, he had no idea what either the time or the heavy thing in his lap was. He looked down through bleary eyes to see Saïx, in his wolf form, nestled between his legs, with his head resting on Xemnas's upper thigh.
As if he knew that Xemnas had awoken, Saïx stirred and opened an eye to peer up at him.
Xemnas smiled tiredly and scratched behind Saïx's ear, causing him to let out a content whine and press closer.
Up close, Xemnas realised that Saïx had undersold himself. He wasn't just bigger than when Xemnas had last seen him changed, he was much bigger. And he still wasn't nearly as big as the adult members of the pack. Seeing the sheer size of him and knowing what sort of muscles were hiding beneath his thick fur, Xemnas suddenly understood Saïx's hesitance and nervousness. With such bulk, he could very well harm someone without meaning to.
Xemnas moved his hand to scratch between Saïx's front legs, and Saïx let out a short howl and wriggled onto his back, sighing deeply when Xemnas continued petting him.
Xemnas almost started at the sudden feeling of something wet touching his arm, before he realised that Saïx had craned his head to lick him. He moved his other hand to scratch at Saïx's ear again, and Saïx turned his head to give him better access, his tongue left lolling out of his mouth.
While Xemnas swept his eyes across the clearing to assess the current situation, a big wolf cantered over to the middle; Xemnas could tell it was Eraqus from his telltale scars.
Eraqus tilted his head back and howled, instantly being joined by the rest of the pack.
When the howl died down, Eraqus lowered his head again. His fur rippled and then he stood up straight, back in his human form.
“Playtime is over”, he announced. “You children have school tomorrow”.
There was a collective murmur of yips and whines and in a couple seconds, the pack of wolves had turned back into a gathering of people, some loudly bemoaning the tragic fate of having to go to school.
Xemnas felt fur shift between his fingers and the weight on his thigh grow lighter, and then a hand brushed his cheek. He looked down to see Saïx lying on his back with his head in Xemnas's lap and a soft smile on his face.
“Hello there, beautiful”, Saïx greeted, his face showing his relief at how smoothly everything had gone.
Xemnas smiled back and twirled a lock of Saïx's hair around his finger. “Hello yourself, handsome”.
Saïx laughed and stretched before he sat up and pressed a kiss to the corner of Xemnas's mouth.
Xemnas in turn wrapped an arm around him and kissed his cheek before leaning his forehead on the top of Saïx's head. Everything had gone so well this time, he figured there was no harm in asking. “Can I come next time too?”
He felt Saïx's smile in the kiss on his collarbone.
“I'll ask mom”.