Parrot_Assbutt



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  1. Summary

    Assorted Crack fics, some connected, others standalone.

    Words:
    7,294
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
  2. Words:
    2,021
    Works:
    1
  3. Words:
    999
    Works:
    1
  4. Words:
    1,821
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    13

Recent bookmarks

  1. Rec 28

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    Summary

    Vesemir picked up the second to smallest one, spinning it in dexterous fingers. “They go in your cock.”

    Eskel was sure he misheard for a second. “I-in?” he stammered.

    Vesemir has a suggestion and Eskel is down for anything.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,840
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    306
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    4,520

    22 Oct 2025

  2. Rec 24

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    Summary

    It caught Jaskier’s attention every time: the small hunting knife Geralt used after nearly every hunt.

     

    Jaskier gently leads Geralt into a new kink he's been thinking about a for a while.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,466
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    244
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    2,076

    22 Oct 2025

  3. Public Bookmark 12

    Summary

    A series in which Aiden, Coen, Ivo (Valdo) and Triss are siblings that were separated in childhood. The story follows their individual lives into adulthood until they reunite with one another again.

    Words:
    10,423
    Works:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    12

    22 Oct 2025

  4. Rec 16

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    Summary

    Aiden gets Lambert a gift. It's the most beautiful, durable knife he's ever owned. It also, apparently, is a joke at Lambert's expense. One of these days, he'll learn enough Cats' Elder to figure out just what it is that Aiden had engraved on the handle.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,091
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    291
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2,029

    22 Oct 2025

  5. Rec 58

    Tags
    Summary

    "Lambert says it as an insult. You’re too fucking pretty. What business do you have being this fucking pretty while being a Witcher, with the scars that look almost placed strategically across his skin to make him look a roughish kind of handsome rather than the type of fucked up that Lambert’s scars get even when he treats them properly.

    He says it as an insult, like the bastard he is, but it must be true what they say about Cats, about them being crazy fuckers, because Aiden just laughs with his head tilted back and his pointy canines showing.

    Then he looks at Lambert with a glint in his eye and says, 'You’re one to talk,' and just continues cleaning himself on the stream."

    ---

    Lambert is an omega who hasn't told anyone his status because the school of the wolf found a way to breed omega witchers to create babies with higher chances to survive to the mutagenes. by the time Lambert presents and figures out how to keep everyone from knowing, the keep has fallen, so it never comes up anyway.
    then he meets Aiden, and he decides that stupid decisions are only stupid if you make them unconsciously and without a plan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,872
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    407
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    5,497

    20 Oct 2025