Chapter Text
****** Akechi was sitting on a slightly uncomfortable tweed chair, nervously fidgeting with an action figure in his hands, moving the plastic arm up and down. The blue paint was beginning to wear and chip around the shoulder joint. This didn’t bother him however, all of his Featherman figures showed many signs of constant love and play.
“Akechi-san.” The stuffy older man sitting across the table said, his tone serious. ****** Akechi kept his head down. He knew that he’s not speaking to him, but instead speaking to his mother, the woman sitting next to him. He could feel the stress radiating off of her.
“I believe that your daughter-” He twisted the figure’s arm farther. “-has a mood disorder. However, at this age, it can be hard to make an accurate diagnosis.”
Akechi didn’t really know what the specifics of what that means, but he gets the idea. His mother already was having trouble dealing with an unwanted child on her own, and things were now worse. She didn’t just have to deal with an unwanted child, she had to deal with a sick child. As if he hadn’t ruined her life enough. Only seven years old, and he already wanted to leave this world. Wouldn’t it make things better for everyone?
His mother puts a hand over her mouth, looking shocked and upset. The rest of the appointment goes by in a blur. There are tears, there’s panicked talking, and it ends with his mother returning to her blank expression.
Somehow that was worse than her crying one.
His mother rushed to her room when they got back to their home. Akechi didn’t try to talk to her. There was nothing to say. He wanted to run to his room too, but that wouldn’t do, would it? No, he had to do something for her. To make himself useful. Maybe she would be happy with him? He’d clean the house, make it spotless for her. The last time he did that, she had gently pat his head and said that she loved him. It had felt… nice.
It seemed, to him at least, like it was the only time he had ever been loved. Perhaps the only time he would ever be. He wanted to feel that love as much as he could. So, he reached under the kitchen sink, and pulled out a spray bottle and a tattered rag. He would make the house sparkle.
He cleaned and cleaned until his head spun from the chemical scent, and his arms went numb from the repeated motion of scrubbing. But, the house did look a lot nicer. It felt nice to make something better for a change. He had done this! It was nice to have an effect on the things around him.
He returned the cleaner and rag to their place under the sink, and opened up a window, trying to let the room air out. He could already feel his head clearing a bit as fresh air made its way in. He took several deep breaths as he released his hair from the pigtails his mother had done this morning. He didn’t know why she insisted on putting his hair up, or choosing his clothes. She always got so upset when he tried to pick things out for himself, or speak his mind. So, he learned to stop doing that, and started to act differently, to make her happy.
He put on a mask.
That phrase ringing in his mind made him flinch, and he held himself to try and stop his sudden shaking. Why did that phrase have such an effect on him? A mask that he puts on to make others happy… So, he was like a featherman! So, that should make him happy, not scared and sad. It should… Why didn’t it?
The cleaning was done, so he let his feet carry him to his room as his mind wandered off somewhere else. He needed something to focus on, to take away his worry. Reading would help point his focus towards something!
He found the tattered book right where he had left it, on the floor of his closet. For some reason, his mother didn’t like him owning this book.
“Please… Don’t enjoy what he liked.” She had said, looking fragile and scared. He didn’t know who she was talking about, but he really loved this book! He didn’t want to get rid of it.
He sat on his bed, opening the book on the page where he had left off. He loved reading about mysteries and detectives, especially this book! He wanted to be just like the main character, Kogoro Akechi. A genius detective who solved difficult cases and stopped the bad guys! They even had the same exact last name. ****** Akechi didn’t like his own first name, it sounded too feminine. If he could pick his own name, he’d want it to be Kogoro, or at least something similar! Maybe a bit different, it’d be a little embarrassing for people to know that he named himself after a character from a book.
Sunlight streamed in through his windows, and as he looked out of his bedroom doorway, he saw how clean he had made the rest of the house. He looked down to his hands and saw his favorite book. Right now, things were good.
Despite everything, in this moment, Akechi was happy. He just prayed it would last.