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Mike and Will sat in an uneasy silence. There might’ve been a time where when faced with the cramped conditions of these seats, Will would have placed his legs on Mike’s. Entangled their bodies together comfortably. But that time appeared to be gone. Will hugged his knees to his chest as he looked anywhere but at Mike.
Finally, someone spoke.
“Will?” Mike’s voice broke the silence. Will finally met his eyes.
“Yeah?”
“I just...” Mike wondered if he had made the right decision in choosing to speak. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Will sighed and looked away. Mike had half a mind to ask when they had become these people. These people who couldn’t even look at each other, but then he chastised himself for those thoughts. He knew when. Of course he knew when. It had been his fault.
“Mike, really you don’t need to-“
“No. I’m really sorry.” Mike cut him off. To both the boys’ surprise, Mike placed a warm hand on Will’s arm. “You were right. I was acting like a total dickwad. And I can’t exactly promise I’m not going to do that again.... seems to be a pretty big part of who I am at this point.” His attempt at humor stung a bit as he recalled the past few months. It was true.
“Mike!” Leave it to Will to get angry about anyone insulting Mike. Even Mike.
“Let me finish.” Mike’s voice softened. He needed to finish. “Please?”
Will shifted a bit and his gaze met Mike’s again. He nodded.
“El is the first person who’s ever... liked me like that. And it was new and exciting and...” Mike searched for a word. What word was there to describe the way he felt when El held his hand? When she kissed his cheek? When they danced together in a sea of other people doing the same? The word came. “normal. I finally felt normal. Well... as normal as it can get around here.”
Will let out a huff of air. A chuckle. Mike felt his chest swell. He couldn’t help the smile that cracked through his serious demeanor. Will had laughed.
Mike regained his composure. “But I let it take over and I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have let it become the most important thing in my life. Not over the party. Not over you. You’ve always been here for me and I took that for granted.” He searched Will’s face for a sign of understanding. Understanding that Mike meant everything he said. Understanding that Mike knew he was wrong. Understanding that it was quite possible the only person in the universe who could get Mike to admit he was wrong was Will. “I don’t want to take that for granted anymore. I let you down, Will. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Was Will’s immediate reply.
“No it’s not.” Mike knew. Mike liked to believe knew Will as well as he knew himself. Mike knew it was not okay.
“It’s not,” Will agreed, his posture finally relaxing. His knees left his chest, stretching his legs out towards Mike. Mike marveled at how long they had gotten. It still came as a shock to him when he occasionally remembered Will was no longer 5’2. “but what I’m trying to say is I forgive you.”
The feeling in Mike’s chest returned. The ballooning warmth. He grinned and Will returned his smile.
“Besides,” Will said, knocking his foot against Mike’s knee. “You couldn’t get rid of me that easily, Mikey. I’ve been dealing with you being a ‘dickwad’ for a long time.”
“Hey, hey, hey. I asked you to be my friend. You’re the dumbass who said yes.”
“Worst decision I ever made.” Will said, attempting to maintain a straight face even though his eyes betrayed his joking manner. Glittering with mirth.
Mike reached out a hand and shoved Will lightly; laughing as from inside the car a familiar tune started playing. He could hear Will hum along as he closed his eyes and leaned back.
It’s no better to be safe than sorry