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“All this time I was watching you, monitoring you, protecting you, and learning about you,” he said. “You came into the chatroom and inserted yourself into our lives, changing the RFA forever. You may have never known how big of an impact you have had on all of us. You changed me and you didn’t even know it, you helped me and you didn’t even realize it,” he took in a hesitant breath, willing the pain at the base of his throat and the stinging of his eyes to go away. “I love you, I think I have loved you from the moment you entered my life.” He couldn’t stop the tear from escaping. It was the first, but it wouldn’t be the last.
She hesitantly reached out to wipe the tear away.
“No, you don’t have to,” he said, moving away. “You love Zen and he loves you.” He shook his head. “I told you because...I had to...” He felt the pain begin to subside in his chest. “Please, I just want you happy,” he insisted. “Please just live a happy life.”
She bit her lip and nodded, swooping in to hug him.
He gasped at the touch and feeling of arms warped around his body as another pressed against him.
She pulled away and nodded again, walking back to the party from where Seven had pulled her aside in the privacy of the hallway that led to private rooms, bathrooms, and the kitchen.
He sank to the floor once he heard the closing of the door, signifying that she had left. It was done. He would live.
Footsteps then came from close by and someone cleared their throat.
Seven looked up.
It was Jumin. He was holding a withering white rose. “I see you confessed,” he said.
Seven nodded, feeling the thinning of pressure in his chest, but then he began to feel as if he would be sick. “Excuse me,” he said, getting himself off the floor and moving to find the bathroom. His feet fell out from under him and he would have fallen back onto the hard floor if it wasn’t for Jumin being there to catch him.
“Easy there, Luciel,” the man said, holding the red head up. “I’ve got you.”
They moved to the nearest bathroom, where Seven began purging the bulbs and withered flowers from his body.
“You waited till the party when you of all people had every opportunity to get this done,” Jumin stated, still holding the rose in his hand. “You also kept this to yourself. I wouldn’t have found out if I hadn’t have found this in the trash,” he held the rose out for Seven to see, despite the man burying his head in the trash can from vomiting and shame, “and for the fact that I had overheard your entire confession to her,” he gripped the rose tightly in his hand. “You could have died.”
“Perhaps that would have been a small mercy,” Seven said.
There was a tension on the room and Jumin moved closer, pulling Seven up from the trash can by the back of his vest. “Don’t you ever say that,” he told him, turning the man to face him and slamming him against the bathroom wall. “Even if you forgot about her, it would be better than death.”
Seven let himself be moved and shoved. He didn’t care. “If I forgot her, there would be just another part of me missing. What is keeping me here if she were to leave, too, huh?”
Jumin’s eyes widened and he let Seven go. “I had not realized we mean so little to you,” he took a step back.
Seven closed his eyes.
“If you truly do not want to be a part of the RFA anymore, I understand.”
Seven bit his lip and shook his head. “That’s not true,” he admitted.
“You know you could have come to me,” Jumin whispered, but it sounded so loud within the room they occupied.
“I would have forgotten her,” Seven said. “If I were to have gotten it removed, I would have forgotten a person I would have been willing to die for.”
Jumin sighed. “But, you didn’t.”
Seven opened his eyes and looked to Jumin.
“You’re still here, alive, and purging your body of the disease. You are still the smartest person in any room and you still are talented beyond measure. The real question is what will you do now?”
“What would you do?” Seven then asked.
“If it were me, I would try to move on,” Jumin admitted. “I already have before,” he then said.
“What?”
“I have accepted that the person I love does not love me back,” he said. “I did not contract the disease, but I had accepted that this is how things were. They loved someone else and there was nothing I could do to change that, nor was there anything I would want to do to change that.”
“You felt that way towards someone?” Seven asked, immediately covering his mouth. What he had said was quite rude.
“You are all under the impression that I am incapable of feeling,” Jumin sighed. “That is not the case. In fact, I believe that I feel too much and have no way to express all of these feelings inside me, so I don’t. They are still there, they still exist, they are just not shared.”
Seven felt the tears again escape from his tear ducts and he wiped the wetness away. He then moved towards Jumin, walking into him and wrapped his arms around the taller man’s waist. “Is this okay?” he asked.
Jumin was stunned and his body was stiff against Seven’s as the man continued to hug him. After a moment, he placed the palms of his hands against Seven’s back, accepting the hug. “This is fine,” he told him.
They embraced for a few more moments before Jumin spoke up again.
“They will wonder where we are,” Jumin told him. “There are guests that we still need to greet and mingle with.”
“I know,” Seven replied, hesitantly withdrawing from against Jumin.
“Are you okay for now?” Jumin asked, referring to the flowers that may still be inside him.
“I think so,” Seven told him.
Jumin nodded, “what about her?”
“I will be okay,” he told the man.
Jumin nodded and gave him a small smile.
Seven felt a bit better, despite everything. He felt like he could make it through this party, at the very least.
The two walked back into the room. Seven’s mask returned and he was the smiling and happy persona that he often preformed as; his earlier despair was hidden, except for the slight redness of his eyes.
***
The party had ended and the guests had left.
Seven had not allowed his eyes to linger on her for any longer than necessary the rest of the night. He stuck close to Jumin, something that had seemed out of the ordinary for him, according to Yoosung’s comments. He brushed them off, claiming that he and Jumin had a conversation they wished to continue throughout the night regarding business dealings. It was the first thing he thought of as something Yoosung would immediately be uninterested in, but believable enough that Jumin would actually wish to converse in.
She had already left with Zen, who had insisted on making sure she got back to the apartment safe.
Yoosung was the next to leave, telling Seven that they should get together some time now that the party was over and watch a movie or something. The idea was enough to pull a genuine laugh from him when Yoosung suggested that Seven be the one to pick, even if it was a horror movie.
Jaehee had left after she assured that clean up would be taken care of, commenting on how Jumin and Seven should also get going soon. Seven admired her efficiency and dedication to caring for all of the RFA members.
Soon, it was only Jumin and Seven left. The cleanup crew would come by that next morning to take care of everything, so they were alone.
“Allow me to take you home,” Jumin said, placing a hand on Seven’s shoulder and escorting him out.
“Thank you,” Seven accepted. They had not brought up the incident earlier, nor did they bring up Jumin’s confession of loving someone. “Who was it?” he then asked, surprising even himself.
Jumin stopped and looked to Seven. “You,” he told him, “but, I could see how much you loved her.”
Seven’s eyes widened for a moment. They closed on their own accord and his face contorted into that of pain. “I caused you to suffer?”
Jumin, pulled him into a stiff hug, still not having gotten used to the action. “You have caused me nothing but good memories, Luciel,” he countered, “even when you pull pranks on me or break into my house to see Elizabeth the 3rd.”
Seven gripped Jumin’s lapels, not wanting to let him go. “How could you call any memories I have given you good?” he asked. “You hate when I bring up Elizabeth or when I break into your house to see her. I make fun of you and you consider those memories good, as well?”
“Seeing my friends and the one I love joke around and have fun, even if it is at my expense, how could I not?” He pulled Seven away from him just enough for him to cradle his face. His eyes were serious, but his expression was soft. “Do you believe my love is wrong?”
The man’s lip trembled. “How could anyone love me?” he asked.
Jumin felt his heart clench as if it could break. “Luciel,” he began, “come back to the pent house with me,” he told him. “I want you with me.”
“You want me to spend the night?”
“Yes,” he told the red head. “I would like for you to be able to see Elizabeth the 3rd,” he felt a small flush of heat grace his cheeks. “I think she could benefit from your affection,” he then looked at the man sternly, “your gentle affection.”
“And where would I sleep?” Seven then asked, leaning against Jumin’s chest as they stood. He could hear the wild thumping of the man’s heart against his ribcage.
“I’ll take the couch,” he told him. “You can take my bed.”
“Your bed is big,” Seven then said. “More than enough room for two,” he then hesitated. “I still love her,” he reminded, “but, you’re right that I need to move on.” Seven looked to Jumin and placed a peck against the man’s cheek, letting his lips linger for a moment. “You’re not a rebound, either,” he told him. “I don’t need to meet someone new and learn all about a person. I already know you, I already know you love me,” he smiled. “I want someone to love me,” his body trembled against Jumin as he fought back the wave of tears that hit his body.
“Are you sure...?” Jumin asked him.
Seven nodded, burying his face in Jumin’s suit jacket. “I want you to love me,” he whispered, “and I want to be able to love you.”
“Why now?” Jumin then spoke up, “Because I confessed to you?”
Seven shook his head and choked out a sad laugh. “I’ve had a thing for you since we met,” he admitted. “A crush, you could say. Hell, I probably loved you in my own way and didn’t even realize it, focusing on my work and on the RFA. I also didn’t feel like I deserved anything like that. I only even confessed to her because I didn’t want to die, not really...” he trailed off. “The day I produced the first flower, I felt equal parts horror and relief. This was my chance to actually take the leap. When she admitted her feelings to us about Zen, I knew that chance had slipped through my fingers. Ultimately, I just want her happy. I love her and her happiness is what matters most to me.”
“I do not wish to claim to know her true feelings, but I believe she is also the type of person to wish you happiness,” Jumin told him.
“I think you’re right,” Seven said. “So, please take me home with you,” he said, letting Jumin take him to the car where the driver, Mr. Kim was waiting.
“Where to, sir?” he asked, opening the door for him.
“Home,” Jumin told him.
“I understand,” he responded, beginning the journey to the pent house.
The drive was silent and Jumin ended up leaning Seven’s head against his shoulder. The red was a little uncomfortable by the act, but soon found it to be pretty comfortable and enjoyed the gesture from the other. It was a long day and he could use a rest.
Once they reached the pent house, Jumin thanked the driver and brought Seven up to his floor, opening the door to have Elizabeth the 3rd there to greet him, as she always did.
“I brought someone,” he told the cat, revealing the hesitant Seven behind him. She recognized him immediately, moving to rub against his legs as he entered. “I’m glad she has reacted positively,” Jumin said with a hum.
“I would sometimes bring her treats,” Seven admitted, receiving a frown from Jumin.
“She has a very strict diet, so there will be no more of that,” he told the man. His face then softened. “How are you feeling? I’ve read that victims of the disease can have cramping after the confession from the removal of the buds and flowers.”
“A bit,” Seven admitted. “May I take a shower?”
“Of course,” Jumin told him.
“I don’t have any spare clothes, though,” Seven then said.
“I will lay some out for you,” he told the man. “Just use the master bath.”
“Thank you, Jumin.”
“It’s the least I can do,” he said.
Seven moved to the master bedroom where the master bath was connected. He had been in there a few times from when he would sneak into the penthouse, but he had never imagined what it would be like to actually use the facilities or sleep in that bed. He was still nervous about the entire thing, but he trusted Jumin. After all, the man trusted him to be in the same room as Elizabeth the 3rd and confessed his love for him. If things had gone differently, Seven couldn’t help but imagine the kind of world where there were no flowers spilling from his mouth and that the love he felt would be directed to Jumin, who felt the same way. Unlike the one-sided love he had for her. He would never regret loving her, though. She would always hold a special place in Seven’s heart. Even if he fell out of love, he believed she would always be special to him.
Seven striped his clothes off and took off his glasses after turning the shower head on. He felt the temperature, slipping in once it was hot enough. Jumin’s shower gel, shampoo, and conditioner were all extremely fancy. Even his face wash, which Seven helped himself to. It smelled nice and safe, like Jumin, he realized. The man had a calming effect around him and Seven felt the scented soaps aided in that, at least on him. Hm, perhaps his crush on Jumin was stronger than he originally thought.
Regardless, he did not plan on doing anything about it tonight. Everything was still raw and his body was weak from the after effects of the disease. He turned the faucet off and felt fatigue settle into him. He grabbed a towel and began to dry himself. He cracked open the door that connected the bathroom and the bedroom, finding it was empty, but that there was a set of pajamas set out for him. He smiled and put them on, enjoying the feeling of the soft cloth against his warm skin.
Once he hung the towel to dry, he walked back into the living room, finding that Jumin had Elizabeth the 3rd in his lap, where he was petting her with a smile on his face. The scene was warm and comforting to watch and Seven wished he could have witnessed it longer, but Elizabeth opened her eyes and jumped off Jumin’s lap in order to enter the bedroom, where she strode up to take her spot on her cat bed.
“You look nice,” Jumin told him, still wearing the same smile he had when he was petting his cat.
Seven felt his cheeks heat up and he returned the smile. “Thank you,” he said.
“It’s late,” Jumin then said. “Are you ready to go to bed?”
“I am,” he confirmed, adding a yawn that broke out against his will.
They both went to the bedroom where Jumin waited for Seven to pick a side to sleep on in order to take the other side. They turned off the lights and lay in the darkness of the room.
“Will the pain ever stop?” Seven asked into the dark.
“I do not believe the feeling of loving someone ever truly goes away,” Jumin told him. “But, it does not have to hurt.”
“It hurts to love her,” Seven admitted.
“It hurts to love her and not have your love returned,” Jumin told him. “I understand this pain.”
Seven turned his head to look in Jumin’s direction. In the dark he could still see the outline of Jumin’s body from the light shining from the city through the windows. “Do you still hurt from me?”
“Not anymore,” he told him. “It hurt for a long time, but that hurt became less and less. Eventually my love for you felt good again. I felt it when you would laugh or when I would see that you were having fun. My love for you would then feel warm because your enjoyment made me happy.”
“You think it will be the same for me?” he asked.
“Perhaps,” Jumin said, “I am no expert on the matter, but I believe all people love differently.” He then turned to look at Seven, as well. “I do hope that your love for her will no longer pain you. I want you to feel happy and to be happy. I do not wish for you to hurt, Luciel.”
“C-can,” Seven gulped. “Could you hold me?” he asked.
“Of course,” Jumin told him, moving to let Seven scoot closer, who had eventually began cuddling into Jumin as he held him in his arms.
“Thank you,” Seven whispered.
“You were my friend before I fell in love with you,” Jumin told him. “That has never changed.”
Seven didn’t reply, only nuzzled into Jumin’s embrace as he began to lose the fight against sleep.