Work Text:
Subaru is like city lights.
Mao doesn’t have quite an explanation of what that means. To be bright and warm but slightly artificial--that’s a crude way to put it. He wonders why he thinks such a way. Maybe, that’s not what he means. Surely, there’s another meaning to such a reason he had compared Subaru this way. He may call himself, a man of reason but judging by this point, he doesn’t seem to look like one. Honestly, not a good thing for Mao.
How do you confront your friends about such a thing?
Just ask; “ Hey, why do I see someone this way? ” and hope that your friends can actually help you? Does that kind of method even work? Mao wonders a little. It’s a little harder to confront such a thing when your group of friends consists of the person in question. Even if Mao were to ask someone like Koga, surely Subaru would find out, right? Koga isn’t very good at keeping his mouth shut nor would it be safe to ask this to someone like Arashi despite her helpful knowledge. She’ll probably accidentally tell Makoto without realising it which leads to Makoto confronting Mao alongside with the other Trickstar members. Something which Mao considers not an ideal situation.
He very much rather have this situation within his controls before it starts spiraling.
“ Sarii! ”
Speak of the devil.
Mao turns to see Subaru smiling brightly at him. He’s asking about Mao heading to lunch since it was already time, Mao accepts the offer with a smile. Talking with Subaru alone is always easy, Mao has very little worries next to him yet he has a slight underlying feeling towards Subaru whenever he talks to him. He doesn’t quite have a name to it. He was never good at labeling names on feelings, to begin with.
The way Subaru casually drags Mao into a hug, laughter in his ears and the tightness of Subaru just hugging him; it somewhat leaves Mao feeling like he’s being squeezed until he can’t breathe. It’s honestly a troubling feeling. It’s the type of feeling that pops up during your work, leaving you groaning against your table as people peer over you to see what exactly is the problem. Keito has called him reckless and careless enough times to pose this as a problem for work. Enough times for Mao to stop disagreeing and start agreeing; this is definitely bigger than he thinks.
It’s funny actually--hanging with Subaru. Mao wonders how someone like Subaru can fill in a table on his own. There’s no need of a mediator; he’s an entire group of friends in one. Not implying he can play the roles of a group of friends, Mao would rather say it’s never boring to hang out with Subaru. He wonders how one person can fill in the room so easily. He’s genuinely curious as he watches Subaru smile brightly at his meal.
Subaru fills in his thoughts with his misadventures; stealing Makoto’s glasses again (Mao scolds him for that), begging Hokuto and Anzu to lend him money (despite not being poor to begin with) and other things that involve his classmates. Mao sighs at Subaru who tries to reason his way through Mao’s scoldings. No matter how much he tries to warn the other, it never quite sticks into his head. He’ll always up and rushes off to do the exact same things Mao warned him not to do .
Mao wonders if he should give up but yet a part of him says not to.
It’s probably led by the fact, he has a weird feeling of not being able to leave Subaru alone. Leaving Subaru alone equals disaster and disaster equals to Mao cleaning it up. Though, some people have pointed out it’s definitely a thing Mao is willing to do , not a must for him to do. Mao can’t exactly say that’s wrong, he does seem to put it upon himself to help Subaru.
But why?
Surely there’s a reason for him to go through all of this, right?
Mao hums as he walks around the school compound, Subaru is like city lights. What does that mean, exactly? Mao kind of wonders. He never really thought about it. It’s a strange statement, to be honest. Does he mean Subaru lights up like street lights? The kind that guides you home during the lonely hours of the night? Kind of, Mao guesses.
Subaru is the light that guides Trickstar through their journey. Not very much like Hokuto who really does know where he’s going. He’s more like the light that guides them vaguely through the path. It’s enough for you to see the next destination within your vicinity but it’s hard to gauge distance.
Sadly, Mao doesn’t think that’s exactly what he means when he sees Subaru.
Does he mean it in a way that Mao kind of marvels at him whenever Subaru just is himself? Maybe. Maybe he marvels him the same way people marvel cities; it’s colorful, loud and constantly moving but there’s an underlying sadness in it. Mao feels a little lonely if he stays in one spot of a city for too long; like the lights stop shining brightly and Mao can spot the dark alleys that lead him to somewhere but where it goes, that’s something Mao believes he wouldn’t want to know. It sounds like Subaru, it fits the bill a little.
Mao wonders why.
He spends his nights, dreaming about Subaru. It feels funny when he thinks about it though, in his opinion, the dreams have no harm. It’s just Subaru laughing and pointing off to vague gestures that definitely have no definitive destinations yet Mao doesn’t mind it. Mao doesn’t mind the idea of going off somewhere with Subaru. He kinda likes it actually.
The idea of Subaru visiting all sorts of places with him; forcing him into a picture-taking frenzy. It’d be a tad bit annoying but he can endure it as long as Mao sees Subaru cheekily smile at the weird food combinations he’ll force him to try. It’d be a fun adventure to travel with him honestly. Mao would love such an idea.
Maybe that’s why Subaru appears as city lights to him.
No matter how many times Mao is with Subaru; it’s endless. Subaru feels like a flurry of colorful light at high speed as he grabs Mao’s hand, heading to some unknown direction. It’s scary but exciting at the same time. Mao enjoys the exhilarating feeling. Mao was always the type to stay within the comfortable and safe zone of things but with Subaru, he surprisingly doesn’t mind being daring. He doesn’t mind the trouble he’ll get into when with Subaru. It’s crazy honestly.
“ I think you’re in love ,” Ritsu says it over the phone.
Mao feels a little see-through even though Ritsu’s piercing gaze isn’t there. Ritsu isn’t even at Yumenosaki; he had been stuff into a plane and forced to deal with the forces known as his family. Mao wonders how that’s going but asking that would lead a huge scolding from Ritsu; telling Mao off for trying to go off topic. That isn’t wrong, honestly. Ritsu would be right for telling Mao to fucking face his fears already .
Mao spends a few nights screaming into pillows, lying upside down on his bed and talking to himself before he confronts Subaru. He always says he’s ready but he isn't. He never is. He’ll tell himself he’s ready but he’s just lying to himself. He actually would rather die than do what he’s doing right now.
“ Subaru ,” Mao calls out to the figure ahead of him.
Subaru turns around and smiles with his eyes wide open. God, Mao kind of hates it when he does it; it makes him look stupid. In a good way, honestly. Mao tries to coax the other closer to tell him something important.
Mao asks him out.
Subaru gaps like a fish; mouth hanging open with his eyes wide open. He looks a little dumb in Mao’s opinion but that’s fine. It’s in a good way. Mao watched Subaru scramble through his head as he tried to come up with an answer. Mao has never seen anyone try to physically piece an answer together the best one can and yet Subaru was here showcasing that exact action. Mumbling and shouting at Mao at the same time. Telling Mao he wasn’t ready for such a question. Fumbling over yes and no, it made Mao laugh.
Subaru tries to say yes.
Mao laughs at his attempt, teasing the other at how that has got to be the most unconfident yes that Mao has ever heard escape Subaru’s mouth. Subaru tries to muster more courage to repeat that yes and when it happens, Mao smiles. Subaru looks taken aback by it, Mao wonders why. He quirked an eyebrow a little before Subaru tries to brush it off. Mao tries not to question it so much.
“Alright then, should we settle this date out properly then?” Mao asks as Subaru follows Mao behind, seemingly in a trance of confusion.
To Subaru, Mao is like a bunch of fireworks. He shines brightly in the night sky, bright red bleeding brightly into the dark sky. Subaru always looks at how bright and high they go up; almost close up to the stars. Even if it’s for a moment. Mao is like that. Even if it’s for a moment, he can reach high up the sky and shine brightly just like the stars. Subaru watches in awe as Mao smiles brightly at him, hand outstretched. Subaru wonders how he can stumble such a person.
Subaru wonders if there’s a word to describe Mao. Mao wonders the same. They walk to lunch as their hands barely hover each other, wondering if it’s okay to hold them. They’re usually not nervous around each other but ever since Mao asked Subaru out, the entire situation has been flipped. In a good way, of course. Foolish boys, stumbling over each other as they try to work this entire relationship out. Hoping that everything will be alright, they wonder if this relationship can work out well enough.
If they were to describe each other, the only word that comes to mind is magical .
Magical; that is something both Mao and Subaru can
both
agree that’s what they see in each other.