Chapter Text
Sound was everywhere. Always there, always around you. Sometimes annoying but more often than not important. People orientate themselves with sound and are warned from danger.
Most importantly: they communicate with it.
But not all had this luxury. Some had to go through life without sounds.
Keith was used to it, to the silence, to not talk to anybody.
Nobody cared – but one.
A nudge on his shoulder let Keith turn around. Upon seeing the short black hair with the white floof, Keith lips curled into a smile.
“Shiro,” he signed happily.
“Good morning, Prince,” the other answered, smiling as well.
Keith only rolled his eyes. “I told you to stop calling me that. It’s Keith. How long have you been my guard for now, two years? You should know by now.”
“One year, nine month and eleven days,” Shiro replied right away. Upon seeing Keith’s surprised face, he realised how weird this might sound and turned red all up to his ears. He turned around and scratched his neck where his black hair was shortest.
“I’m such an idiot,” he mumbled, knowing that Keith wouldn’t be able to hear it. He then faced him again with a smile—even though his ears were still red. “Anyway, you’re my prince, so of course I’ll call you that.”
Keith, awestruck by the exact number Shiro just shot out, shook his head. “It’s not like anybody could hear you anyway. You could curse me, no one would understand—or care.”
It started as a joke, or it should’ve, but Shiro’s look showed how unamused he was. He knew how hard the life of his prince was. How lonely he felt ever since his dad died and he lost his hearing and ability to speak. Fortunately Shiro was a good interpreter for Keith, which was the main reason he was hired as Keith’s guard. The position was honorable, one that filled Shiro with pride. So he didn’t think twice when the senators came to him.
Shiro knew their kingdom had a prince who wasn’t the coronation age of 21, but no one really knew much about him. Of course they saw him every now and then when something important happened in the kingdom, but as he wasn’t the one leading this country, he was almost kept hidden. No one knew why though. It was assumed he was just shy or an asshole like many other monarchs.
Now Shiro knew better: Keith was deaf and unable to communicate with most people. His staff either couldn’t learn sign language due to time or—what Shiro suspected—they didn’t care enough. Because if you’re the personal staff of your prince, you should’ve the time to learn a language to communicate, shouldn’t you. That’s your job.
Not that Shiro wanted to complain too much though, since this got him his position and he got to meet Keith in the first place. Still, he would want the prince to be able to talk to others, not just him.
A poke into Shiro’s side pulled him back into reality.
“What do we do today?”
“Manners and algebra,” Shiro gave him a crooked smile.
Keith reaction was prompt and his body language spoke for him.. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and huffed. Shiro could understand. It was boring but it was part of a prince’s life to be a well-read scholar.
Even though Keith was the prince, he couldn’t decide what he wanted to do and when. He wasn’t of coronation age yet and had a group of senators that dictated his life. It surely wasn’t easy. Shiro tried to lift up his spirits as often as he could but making maths and history lessons more entertaining was hard.
Again, there was a nudge at his side and Keith shook his head a little bit once he had Shiro’s attention again. “What’s wrong, old timer? You’re absent all the time. Did you even listen?”
“Ah, no sorry. What did you want?”
Keith was hunched over books, trying to solve some imaginary mathematical problem while Shiro stood at his side.
Shiro was more than a mere guard, he helped him with many things through the day. Sometimes he got weird looks from the other staff members because he spent so much time with the prince. There were rumours he would try to win Keith for his side and somehow overthrow the parliament that was currently ruling the empire. Which was completely nonsense of course and it annoyed Shiro to be accused of such a thing. If they would want a better relationship with their prince, they should just start to make an effort to literally understand him. But for some reason, they always cut him, not trying at all.
For lessons, they gave up on a professor and just gave Keith books to read. It was easier as Keith could read even without Shiro at his side. Shiro wasn’t an academic himself however, he couldn’t help much if Keith didn’t understand something.
There was a creeping suspicion in Shiro that the senators kept Keith small on purpose. He didn’t voice his thoughts, though. It was hard enough for Keith as it was, and without proof or support, they couldn’t do much anyway. Shiro would just see what happens once Keith turns 21.
If Shiro lived that long.
It was quiet around them with only an occasional sigh from the prince - and coughs from Shiro. He made an effort to not move while coughing, so Keith wouldn’t pick up on it. However, it got worse with each minute.
Keith looked up frowning. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just got something in my throat.” Shiro hit himself on the chest as if this would help. That only worsened it.
When Keith started to stand up. Shiro shook his head and brushed Keith's concerns off with a wave.
“It’s fine, I’ll get myself some water.” With that, he vanished with big steps.
Outside, Shiro coughed louder, covering his mouth with both hands. He got this cough before and it got worse by the day. It felt like something was scratching inside his lungs. As if something was stuck in there that didn’t belong.
Small red spots covered his hands. He must have a serious infection. Maybe a visit to the local physician would be good.
It was always the same.
A small meadow in a pomegranate field. The prince's favourite fruit.
The trees all bloomed red, spreading their sweet scent. and scattering their blossoms over the field. A sunny day.
In the middle of this flower bed laid Keith, laughing. Shiro watched him with a bright smile. Surrounded by this red, the prince looked even more beautiful. It fit him so well. His black hair spread out onto the grass, red petals tangled in them.
Shiro couldn't feel anything but adoration looking at the prince. It was perfect and he wished that it would never end.
Until Shiro suddenly coughed harshly. He covered his mouth with one hand and tried to get rid of whatever was hurting his lungs. The pain grew and grew until he suddenly felt something wet in the palm of his hand. Lowering it revealed a petal. The once purplish petal was darkened with blood and fear crept over Shiro.
The meadow changed when he looked up.Instead of pomegranate trees, they were surrounded by bushes that grew the same purple flowers Shiro had just found in his hand. Black berries scattered across the field.
He searched for Keith, to see his prince one more time, but darkness swallowed him...
Shiro woke up in his bed, covered in sweat and coughing. His lungs hurt the same as in the dream. He bent over, coughing until it ceased. His hand was wet and he didn’t need to look to know it was bloody. Exhausted, he laid down into his bed and watched the ceiling.
Always the same dream.
It was so beautiful. Wrong on so many levels but it was nice. No one could ever know. He would keep it in his heart like a treasured memory. Here in his own mind he could keep it and feed it so it would flourish and live. Pretend like this was a future he could have.
A future with Keith—his prince.
A small bell rang as the door hit it. A mix of different scents hit Shiro's face as he stepped into the small shop. It was cramped with flowers and herbs everywhere. They hung on the wall and from the ceiling and they waited on shelves in vases. Some were dried and in little fabric bags.
Shiro knew all of this. He couldn’t tell any of the plants, incense or herbs apart but he was familiar with the shops layout. He still looked around, curious to see new plants. Every time he came into the shop, she had some new product, a new flower, new powder. The shop got more and more cramped. Never messy, though. Just...crowded.
Shiro’s gaze fell on a very specific plant in the far corner. The flower had purple petals, thin and spread out like a star with a yellow center. What Shiro expects to be the fruit, was black and round. It looked familiar to him. Not just a you-passed-it familiar. He was sure to have seen this plant over and over again. But where..?
Upon reaching it, Shiro knew better than to touch it but his hand still hovered over the purple petals.
“Ah, Shiro!” A friendly, female voice suddenly reached him.
“Hello, Allura.” Shiro turned around, trying to hide how startled he felt. He nodded as a greeting and smiled at the woman that came out of a back room.
Her long white hair was put into a neatly braided knot. Small flowers were weaved into them, giving them a nice touch of colour.
“I just got done with your basket”, she said chippered as she put down a wooden basket on the counter. “I got white lilies this time, they blossom so dearly at this time of year.”
Shiro came closer and inspected the basket. It was full of different flowers.
“Thanks, Allura. It’s perfect. They will love it.”
For years now, Shiro ordered a basket full of flowers every other week. As the personal guard of the prince, he didn’t have much free time. But every fourteen days he had one day just for himself. And he always spent it the same way. He goes to Allura’s—and then to the cemetery.
The flowers were for his grandparent’s grave. They passed away some years ago, leaving Shiro alone. He never got to know his parents and was now without any family.
Which is why it was so easy to bond with Keith. They shared a similar fate, left alone by their loved ones.
“What’s wrong?” Allura tilted her head as she watched Shiro. She must have caught his absent tone.
“Huh? Oh, nothing,” he lied and tried to smile, not even convincing himself. Allura, of course, caught it as well. She was good with people despite her having more plants than humans as company.
“What plant is that? You got it new here?” Shiro asked and pointed back to the purple plant. It was both curiosity and a way to get out of this awkward situation.
Allura frowned but played along. “That? Oh, it’s Atropa belladonna - beautiful Lady or nightshade. Those royal women want the berries to use it as a beauty tonic. It reddens the skin.”
“Mh. Maybe I saw it in the royal gardens then…,” Shiro thought out loud.
“Unlikely. It doesn’t like our climate. It’s hard to get around here.”
So he couldn’t have seen them in the garden. The gardens were beautiful, full of exotics that needed special care. If this one wouldn’t survive their climate, however…
A green meadow, Keith sitting in red blossoms…
Shiro jolted as he remembered his dream. That was where he saw that plant. It was what all the trees surrounding the meadow turn into and the petal he coughed up. Purple flowers, black berries and then he woke up with pain in his chest…
“Shiro?” Allura’s hand was on his shoulder, warm and steady.
“No, it’s okay…,” he mumbled dismissively, shaking his head.
“Come on Shiro, something is up. I know you and you’re rarely this moody.””
“Allura, I tell you it’s -” He stopped abruptly as the tall woman, hands on her waist, gave him a look that would break kings.
“It’s just… dreams. Weird dreams.”
“What kind of dreams? Is it always the same?” she asked, voice low and caring.
Shiro nodded. “They’re nightmarish. They start...normal and then…” He shrugged. He didn’t know how to explain them further. Not under any circumstances could he confess what he feels for the prince. He trusted her more than anybody else, but it was too risky for her to know. And he knew it was wrong, he didn’t need anybody to tell him. Keith was the crown prince and he was a mere guard.
“This plant is always in them,” he continued, pointing back to the nightshade plant.
Allura crossed her arms and looked at the plant. “It stands for silence,” she said after a while.
Shiro almost busted out laughing. Silence. Of course. That was a constant in his life. Weird that he dreamed about it together with Keith. As if his head wanted to pour salt into the wound made by Keith losing his hearing and voice.
“...It also stands for danger and...death,” Allura added, eyes back on Shiro.
A cold shiver ran down his spine. Silence, danger, death. Why would he dream about such a flower in regard to Keith? The silence made sense, he could see that. Danger...maybe because of his feelings..? But...why death..?
“Is there someone with you? In your dreams?”
“They’re just dreams, Allura!” Shiro snapped at her. His hands were trembling as he took his basket and charged out of the shop.
Just dreams. Nothing to worry about. That was stupid.
His mind just made things up. Who says that it was even this nightshade he saw? He didn't know that plant before, how on earth should it appear in his dreams then? Nonsense!
Shiro tried to go on with his life and not think back. He felt bad for yelling, though, and would need to apologize next time.
Just moving on was harder than he thought. His dreams became more vivid and more painful.
And there was more blood.
More and more frequently he had to excuse himself and find a hidden corner to cough. His chest hurt constantly. Breathing was painful, he constantly felt like something was stuck at the back of his throat.
Then he started to cough up not only blood but petals. White petals that were stained dark with blood.
Just like in his dreams. A different flower, though.
One that he definitely knew. Magnolias. They grew all over the gardens. Allura once told him they stood for dignity.
It was a miracle that he could hide it from Keith. Without a doubt, Keith would notice that something was going on.
The bell rang as the door hit it.
“I’m coming!—Oh...It’s you…”
Shiro bit his bottom lip. It was obvious that his previous behavior was still in the room between them.
“Allura, I’m sorry about yesterday. I was an idiot,” he said outright and honest. He bowed down to her. “You wanted to help and in return I yelled at you. That’s not how I usually am. Please forgive me.”
Footsteps came closer until they stopped in front of him and warm hands found his shoulders. He looked up and was greeted with a worried smile. “What’s wrong, Shiro?”
“I...I think I’m sick.” He said, gulped after and looked away. Shaking his head, he sighed. “Or maybe just insane.”
“Come on, let’s sit down and talk about what you mean” Allura pushed him softly into the backroom to a round table. As he sat down, she pulled out two cups and poured in tea for them both. “You said you’re sick?”
Shiro stared at the cup and huffed. “It’s stupid. But it seems so real.”
Allura tilted her head but kept quiet.
“I...uh...I’m coughing. And sometimes there’s blood,” he explained, and held up a hand to stop Allura from saying something. “But that’s not the weird thing. I...more often than not, there are….”
“Flowers…?”
Shiro looked up shocked. “How did you..?”
“Have you ever heard of Hanahaki?”
“That’s a children’s tale to scare kids,” Shiro huffed, shaking his head.
“It’s a disease where people cough up flowers or even parts of plants," she explained calmly.
"Allura, I'm serious. I'm sick, and you’re telling me Hanahaki is real? This is stupid."
She leaned back, arms crossed. "You're the one coming to me saying you're coughing up petals." She rose an eyebrow.
"I…" he started but fell silent at the obvious defeat. He saw it with his own eyes and had to get rid of the petals in his mouth. It was real.
"You love someone that doesn't love you back." Allura leaned in again, one hand on Shiro's who bit his lip.
"...What can I do to get rid of it?"
"Love? Not much."
"The disease."
Allura took back her hand and sighed, avoiding his eyes. "Not much…"
"So I will cough up flowers for the rest of my life?" Shiro asked in disgust. But he would live with that. He could fight that.
"Shiro," Big eyes looked at him, worried. "Hanahaki is lethal…"
"I...what.” Shiro felt goosebumps all over his body.
"There is no cure...I'm so sorry…"
“What...no. I can’t...I can’t just die!” He got up and started pacing. “No, no, no. I can’t. I need to…”
“Did you tell him?” her voice was soft and ever so calm. She was visibly shaken but she did her best to calm them both down.
“Tell whom what?”
“Keith.”
Shiro furrowed his brows and stopped walking. “You only just told me.”
“That you love him,” she said, rolling her eyes.
The gulp from Shiro was audible. He looked away and blushed slightly before shaking his head. Of course, she knew. Who did he kid, thinking she wouldn’t. Whenever Shiro dropped by, the would have a small conversation. Most of them about his job and therefore Keith.
“He can never know. I’m only a guard.”
“And he’s a prince who will never reign—unless he has someone by his side to guide him.” Allura wasn’t part of the royal household but she always had her intel. It wasn’t just Shiro who was picking up the strange behaviour of the senate.
“Well then too bad that I’m dying,” Shiro gave back snippy, on his way to leave the room but stopped again. He threw his head back, eyes closed and sighed heavily. “I can’t just die. He needs me.”
“You should tell him.”
Shiro looked back at her bewildered. “Tell him what, Allura? That I love him, and that this is the reason why I’m dying?” He asked while coming back to the table. “Sure, that’ll be a nice talk. Won’t crush him at all. I’m sure he’ll become a great king then and—”
Shiro leaned forward as a cough shook through him. He brought his hand up to cover his mouth as he retched up more and more white petals. Allura was at his side in an instant, caressing his back. She gave him a cloth while bloodied petals fell to the ground.
“You said...there is no cure. And it...happen because of unrequited love, right?” he breathed after the worst coughing stopped. “So there’s your answer. He doesn’t love me back...Otherwise, I wouldn’t have this.”
Today was sword fight training. Shiro was sure that he wasn’t in the right condition to fight properly but he would endure it. Keith needed it and Shiro had to teach him much, much more before he’d be gone forever.
When they started, though, Shiro wondered again how fast of a learner Keith was. Soon he wouldn’t need a guard anymore, he was more than capable to defend himself. Heck, he was better than Shiro with the sword. He was fast and agile and his smaller stature gave him even more advantage. While Shiro could manhandle him down with sheer strength, he was pretty sure in a real fight he wouldn’t even get to that point. Pride bloomed in him.
Right next to something else.
Shiro landed on one knee when the coughing started again, his hands up to his mouth, his sword long dropped. Besides his own horrible noises he could hear more metal fall to the ground and quick steps. Hands rushed over the fabric of Shiro’s shirt and even his hair, giving him a pleasant shiver that only worsened the cough.
Keith’s breath hitched and he tried to get Shiro to look at him to ask what’s wrong. Shiro shook his head and freed one hand to gesture a quick “I’m alright.” Before he finished the sign, Keith took his hand and gasped, touching the blood on its palm. Shiro cursed low in between coughing. He pushed Keith away with no avail. At least the coughing stopped at some point. Shiro took deep breaths before looking up, where Keith already gestured wild and was very visibly shaken.
“-get help! That’s not normal, what’s wrong?”
Shiro gulped away the big lump that had crept up his throat that felt scratchy and hard when it went down again.
“It’s nothing big, I promise.” It was a lie. Even without a voice Shiro was a bad liar. He could see it in those fascinating purplish eyes that Keith didn’t trust him one bit.
Suddenly Keith jaw clenched and he looked away. “Is it my fault? I hit you too hard…”
What? Shiro got up and put both of his hands on Keith's shoulders to force Keith to look at him.
“No, it’s not because of you,” Liar. “It’s...I got injured in a training fight with one of the other guards the other day. I shouldn’t spar but I--”
“Why didn’t you tell me? We shouldn’t have trained then!”
Shiro sighed and fell silent. Breathing still hurt and he definitely couldn’t continue to spar like this. He never wanted to lie to Keith. Even though Keith was his prince and he a mere guard, Keith was his best friend. More. But only Shiro felt this way. To Keith, he was the only one who Keith could talk to, it was easy for Keith to like him.
That was all. There wasn’t a deeper meaning behind Keith’s affection towards Shiro. If you couldn’t communicate with anybody, you would be happy with whoever would listen to you.
How do you tell someone you had a deadly disease, that you were coughing up flowers until you’d die because you loved them and they didn’t love you back..?
It would crush Keith, so Shiro would never tell him. He’d take it with him into his grave. But before that, he had to make sure Keith was safe and not alone.
Shiro looked in those blue eyes that looked purple in the bright light of the sun. Shiro could watch that fascinating play of light and colour for hours.
“You will do so many great things...” Shiro mumbled thoughtfully.
Keith suddenly looked up with blush on his face as he stared at Shiro, who stared confused back until it hit him.
“Did you—can you hear me?!”
The prince looked caught and quickly turned his head. Keith bit his lip as he slowly nodded.
“But that’s great, Keith!” Shiro said, visibly excited. “You can hear again! That means people can talk to you again! Maybe you’d even be able to speak yourself again soon! Then you won’t need me anymore.”
As soon as Shiro said that, Keith pressed his hands to his ears. He stood up and ran away, leaving a puzzled Shiro behind.
That was more than sudden but Shiro knew better than trying to run after Keith right away. He gave him some time before going to look for him—he knew where he’d be anyway.
Ever since Keith and his late father were caught in a horrible fire that cost the king’s life and left Keith scared, he couldn’t hear nor speak. This was years ago now and ever since only Shiro communicated with him.
If Keith really regained not only his hearing but his ability to speak, he wouldn’t be left out anymore. Keith could finally reign his own kingdom.
Shiro wouldn’t have to worry about dying and leaving him alone anymore.
It rained when Shiro approached the large orange tree. The sweet scent of its fruit was hanging in the air even with the pouring rain. It was their favourite place. Calm, peaceable. You could see parts of the city from this hill. Whenever something upset Kieth or he just needed time alone, he’d hide here. Shiro was always welcomed, he knew when to talk and when to just sit there, enjoy the view and leave Keith alone with his thoughts.
Just like at that moment when Shiro found him and sat down next to Keith without a word or gesture. Sometimes it could hurt to give others space. Shiro could tell that the droplets on Keith’s face weren’t from the rain.
Shiro gave him a while before he spoke .
“Keith,” he started low. It felt weird to start a conversation by saying his name out loud. It wasn’t an unusual sound for Shiro, he often said it. But knowing that Keith would hear him now felt unreal.
Keith felt the same apparently as he jerked and pressed his hands to his ears once more. He very clearly wasn’t happy at all, much to Shiro’s surprise who was thrilled but more worried.
The problem with someone deaf was, that they could very easily ignore you even just closing his eyes and shutting you out completely. Sure, Keith had regained some hearing but Shiro didn’t want to startle him further. Instead he slowly, carefully touched his shoulder and besides the minimal flinch, Keith stayed—but still didn’t face him.Shiro moved his hand into Keith’s visual field, pleading that he’d look at him, which he did after a faint sniff.
“I’m sorry if I did something wrong, but would you explain to me what’s up? Please?”
After some more waiting and a sigh, Keith answered.
“I don’t want this. Everybody will swarm to me, wanting this and that and suddenly I’m interesting.”
“They couldn’t communicate with you before, of course now—”
“They could’ve! It’s not so hard, I learned it, you learned it! They just didn’t care.”
Shiro could tell this wasn’t the real issue here. It might bug Keith but he never cared too much about others opinions. It wouldn’t be reason enough to run away from Shiro and cry. Keith barely ever cried, Shiro was even pretty sure to be the only person to ever seen him cry and he only saw it twice.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, therefore, with a stern but first and foremost worried look.
“...You'll leave…” , Keith stated, avoiding eye contact and getting back into a rolled-up position. Arms around his knees and chin on them.
This was not at all what Shiro had expected. Maybe he should’ve, though. He was Keith only friend for years now.
“I won’t leave., I’m still your guard. But it’ll be way more comfortable for you. You could talk to everybody yourself. You wouldn’t need me for everything anymore.”
Keith shook his head again, stubborn as always. “Don’t tell anybody.”
Shiro wanted to disagree but at the end it was Keith’s decision. He couldn’t understand him fully, but he would respect his decision.
“I’m still glad you can hear again,” Shiro added calmly, smiling while watching the rainy city.
When Keith moved, he looked over. “You have a nice voice,” he signed and blushed, just as Shiro did.
At least now Shiro knew that Keith would be able to communicate with others again. Keith wouldn’t be alone after he died.
Or so he thought.
Shiro continued to watch over Keith as if nothing had changed. He was still his interpreter and helped with every daily need. However, every now and then when someone came to ask something, Shiro would hesitate and wait for a reaction from Keith. But the other acted as if he didn’t hear a thing.
The doorbell rang but it was drowned out by the loud coughing that accompanied it.
“Allura?!” Shiro could barely shout but his entrance was luckily loud enough to be recognized.
“Shiro!” She was at his side within seconds, holding him while he bent over and retched up more flowers. They were dark and purple, not the white of the magnolias as before.
Together with Allura’s help, they walked to the backroom where Shiro sat down.
“You said there is...not much you can...do.”
“...There is no cu—” She was interrupted by Shiro holding up his hand.
“ Not much means there is something.”
Allura bit her lip and looked away for a moment. “I don’t know if it works. And it’s dangerous and painful and—”
“I’m dying, Allura,” Shiro breathed out, wiping his bloody mouth with a cloth. “I need to keep going. Even if it’s just for a little. Keith needs me. He’s not ready to be alone.”
She faltered for a second before she vanished into her shop again. Sounds of rummaging echoed to the backroom.
“It is believed that Hanahaki occurs because the earth is calling back the body. All bodies originate from the earth and end in it. If someone is crossed by love they lose the contact to earth because they run for someone that can never be theirs,” she explained in a hurry as she came back with different herbs and incense in her arms. It sounded as if she wanted to calm herself by talking. “They lose their roots and suffer. So, the earth is getting them home.”
Shiro watched her doing in silence. His breath was still rattling and the taste of blood was almost normal for him now. All of that talk got him cautious, though. He never heard Allura nervous.
“So, we’re trying to get you back to your roots,” she finished and held out a tea that let Shiro crinkle his nose. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
He took the cup and looked into it doubtfully. “What are...the risks?”
“You could...you could lose your emotions. All of them.”
Shiro gulped and looked down at whatever Allura manufactured. Up close, it didn’t look like tea at all. “But it could give me some time.”
“Yeah…”
Shiro breathed in deeply and was about to drink that substance when he suddenly felt a hand on his arm.
“Are you sure you want to do this..?” Her bright eyes glistened as she asked again.
He laid his hand on hers and smiled. “I have to.”
As the days dragged on, Keith sadly watched Shiro's strange behavior turned into outright dismissal after he found out about Keith's hearing. Since that rainy day he was lucky if he saw Shiro once a day.
Shiro was still there when Keith needed him for lessons and such. But right after, he just vanished. Shiro didn’t talk to him, didn’t make any jokes, didn’t even gave any of his speeches about patience.
Keith felt just as lonely as he did after losing his dad.
And he had sworn to himself to never lose someone again.
The next day, when Shiro was about to leave as suddenly as the days before, Keith took his arm to keep him here and walked in Shiro’s way.
“What’s wrong? Why are you ignoring me?”
Shiro looked at him with a face that Keith couldn’t read. That alone was unusual. No one knew Shiro better than Keith did. He could always tell what the other felt, thought or wanted. Now it was almost impossible.
“Please tell me,” Keith pleaded with big eyes.
But Shiro just pushed past him and left. Keith watched him go, daggers in his stomach that made it hard to breathe. Was it because of what happened earlier? Was Shiro mad because Keith kept it a secret that he was able to hear again?
No. That didn’t make sense.
But why was he acting so strange? It was as if he was a different person all of a sudden.
Keith wouldn’t let him go without an explanation. He deserved one. If Shiro didn’t want to be his guard anymore, he should tell him himself. Keith wouldn’t force him to be at his side if Shiro wanted to leave. It would hurt him badly but he was no one to keep people against their will.
He always thought Shiro liked his company.
Shiro didn’t get far before he had to kneel down, coughing too hard to keep walking. He sat outside somewhere, his hands both bloody when he heard hurried steps.
No no no, he shouldn’t see this!
It was too late to hide now, though. Hands were on his shoulders and when he looked up, the familiar face greeted him. Keith was beautiful even with that deep furrow between his brows and worry in his eyes.
How could someone be so perfect..?
That damn tea didn’t do anything. It only hurt him more for a couple of days, but the coughing never ceased in any way. It just got more and more.
Allura said there was nothing else they could try.
He would die and leave Keith alone.
Keith once more gesticulated wildly, signing almost too fast for Shiro to understand. He was worried, signing that they have to get a doctor. He seemed mad as well.
“You’re sick, aren’t you? Stop lying to me! I’m not a kid anymore, I can handle that!”
Shiro whipped off his mouth and sat down completely. “Yeah, I am.”
“Then we need to do something about that. We have the best doctors here. I’m the prince, I can get whomever here to help you!”
“There’s no cure, Keith. I’m sick, and I’ll die soon..”
Keith visibly froze, staring at Shiro. His hands were fists, his jaw clenched and he looked towards the ground.
It was silent for a moment, only Shiro’s heavy breath audible. Then Keith signed a word. Why?”
Shiro wanted to answer but before he could, Keith looked up again, furious. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Bullshit.”
“Keith, I—”
“You told me you’ll never give up on me!” Keith turned around and hunched his shoulders up.
“And I won’t,” Shiro whispered with a sore voice as he leaned in on Keith. “Your coronation is soon. I will be there and see you become the king you were always meant to be.”
They didn't speak a lot after this. Shiro’s condition worsened by day but he was determined to at least see through Keith’s coronation. It was his most important day and Shiro wanted to be there for him. After...he would try to live as long as he could but then Keith would have to do without him. He could hear again which was a great plus, maybe his voice would return as well. And if not, there will be another interpreter for him. Shiro wouldn’t be able to protect him anymore, Keith would have to get through this alone.
The day finally came and Shiro was buzzing with energy. However, his disease demanded its toll on his body. He was pale, throat constantly sore and breathing was hard. He didn’t spar in some weeks now, too weak for that. Keith had always side-eyed him but didn’t say anything after their last talk. Keith seemed to respect his decision just like he respected Keith. There was also nothing they could do. It wouldn’t get them anywhere to mourn and whine about it.
Shiro got his formal uniform out. The one guards only wore at very special occasions. Like birthdays, weddings—or coronations. It was mostly black with a purple accent and some gold was woven into it. Shiro’s was decorated with accolades.
He looked at himself in the mirror. His white floof was gelled down and a bright smile sat on his face. However, he clearly looked ill. His scar across the nose was even more prominent with how pale his face was.
A cough was coming up and he quickly produced up a cloth to prevent the blood from staining his uniform. The cloth itself was conveniently red already, so no one would suspect something if he pulled it out during the ceremony. He would need to keep the coughings at a minimum today. He would stand right next to Keith on the balcony to interpret everything the senators would say.
Looking down at the cloth, he saw the dark purple pedal he just coughed up. It was ironic that he would now cough up a plant that stood for silence.
But he would not let that disease win. At least not today. Today was Keith’s day.
Shiro knocked at the door and came in shortly after.
“Wow…”, he breathed out, awestruck.
Keith stood in front of a tall mirror right next to the windows. He wore a uniform himself but it was drastically different from Shiro’s. It was red with black accents. The colours of his kingdom. Golden adornments covered the fabric and were woven in his braid. From his shoulders a long, translucent cape flowed down to the floor, spreading out behind Keith.
“You look….” Shiro had to think for a proper word to sign what he was thinking. “Breathtaking,” he then said out loud and smiled.
Even from across the room he could see Keith blushing. He shook his head and rolled his eyes. “This is all stupid and too much. I look like a clown.”
“ No," Shiro shook his head and came closer, right behind the other and turned them both to the mirror. “You look like a king.”
Keith shook his head again and looked away but Shiro could still see that smile on his face, and the blush.
“I’m so proud of you, Keith. You really will be doing great things.”
Keith looked at him again, his purple eyes were piercing through him. “Without you?”
Shiro sighed and stepped away from the other. Of course, this would come up today.
“What if I don’t want to? I can’t do this without you, Shiro!”
Shiro laid his hands on Keith’s shoulders and squeezed them. “Keith, you will do great. You’re destined to do so. I wouldn’t magically be healed if you deny your birthright.”
“I can’t. I’m not a leader. You are, Shiro. You are tactical and strategic and know what the people need.”
“You are a leader. You learned so much these past years. I saw you grow from a young man to the king you are today. I’m sorry I can’t accompany you on your way, but believe me when I tell you you’ll be the best king this kingdom ever had.”
Shiro was about to turn around and leave the room to give Keith space and time he needed before they would go onto the balcony, but he was stopped as Keith grabbed his wrist.
“You have Hanahaki, right?”
Shiro froze in his movement, eyes wide. He felt his stomach drop.
“You’re in love with someone who doesn’t love you back.”
His lungs clenched and for once it wasn’t the disease itself. To get rid of the big lump in his throat, Shiro gulped and tried to produce a smile. He went back to signing. Not only out of a habit but to hide his lying voice. “That’s just a fairytale.”
“That’s what I thought, too. But I read up on it. And I saw you coughing up flowers.”
Of course, Keith noticed. It was outright dumb to assume he wouldn’t. Shiro fought the urge to turn away and hide his feelings. Shiro may have been able to switch between talking and signing, but Keith wasn’t able to. If Shiro turned around he would end the conversation without giving Keith the chance to say anything anymore.
He instead bit his lip and let his eyes only fall a bit. He couldn’t look into those eyes right now.
“Did you tell them?”
Shiro huffed at that suggestion. It reminded him of Allura saying the same. “Of course not. It would crush them.”
“You should be with them, not me.”
“No, today is your day and I want to spend it with you,” Shiro immediately answered as he shook his head. A crooked smile then showed on his face. “Besides, it’s unrequited love, remember?”
Now it was Keith who turned around and Shiro assumed the conversation was over. It would’ve been better this way because Shiro didn’t know how to proceed with this. Whatever happened, he couldn’t tell Keith, but they were on very thin ice already.
Keith faced him again, signing slowly. “Can’t you just...stop it?”
“Stop the disease?” Shiro asked, frowning.
“No. Stop loving the person.”
Shiro sighed and a small smile flashed over his lips. For a moment he wanted to answer that he wished he could, but that would be a lie. He was dying because he loved Keith and while Shiro wanted to live—he couldn’t imagine living without this love.
He shook his head no.
Keith's shoulders lost every ounce of tension, he hunched over and looked to the ground. Shiro’s heart broke. He would give everything to make him happy again. Yeah, now that he thought about it, to see Keith happy, he would give up on loving him. If it would help Keith, Shiro would do that.
But he couldn’t. His heart didn’t listen to him before, it wouldn’t listen now.
With big steps, Shiro bypassed the distance between them again. “This is your day. Let’s be happy and not worrying about me, okay?”
He hugged Keith close, not waiting for an answer. This might be the last time they could be undisturbed while Shiro felt good. He wanted to enjoy this day, to smile and laugh with Keith. Holding him close, feeling his arms wrapped around himself felt good. It soothed his own pain. It was unfair that he would die but Shiro didn’t regret loving Keith.
The coughing started out of nowhere. Shiro managed just in time to push himself from Keith to cough into his own hand. Petals over petals covered his hands and mouth. He could feel them stuck in his throat as he gasped for air.
Keith helped him to the ground to sit as Shiro hunched over and coughed. It literally felt like he was retching his lungs out. At this point he wished he could uproot that damn organ that had been torturing him for so long.
Movement next to him suggested that Keith wanted to get up. Shiro gripped him to stay. It was selfish and wrong but he didn’t want to be alone now. He knew what was coming and he wanted to fight against it but he already couldn’t get up anymore. His hands were bloody as was his uniform. Some of his blood was on Keith’s uniform as well.
What a shame, Keith looked so good in his garment. Now it was ruined. Stained with blood by the idiot that loved him.
He wouldn’t even make it to the ceremony anymore. For the last days, this day was what kept him going. He wanted to see Keith getting crowned.
Keith was suddenly over him. Was he lying? Yeah, he was in Keith’s arms. That was nice. It felt warm.
Secure.
Loved.
Another wave of coughs shook Shiro up. He leaned to the side and spat out whatever was hurting his insides. Now not only petals came out but pieces of branches that cut through his throat.
While still holding him with one arm, Keith signed wildly with one hand. Shiro could only guess what he was saying. He could read it in his widening eyes and in the tears on his cheek. In the silent screams that left his mouth.
Keith was crying for him. This warmed his heart even though it shouldn’t.
“I’m sorry,” Shiro croaked, bloody running out of his mouth. Keith shook his head frantic and took Shiro’s hand that was trying to reach up to him. He held it close to his cheek, Shiro could feel the hot tears on his fingers. “I wish I could stay...but you will...do great things. I will...never give up....on you.”
An ugly sob left Keith throat as he clenched Shiro’s hand harder. “I love you.”
The faint confession came from a throat that sounded sore, Shiro was sure he had heard it. Was his mind playing tricks on him? He felt cold and tired and the pain was gone. Did he really imagined Keith voice just now?
“I love you, Shiro,” Keith repeated, crying into the hand that he refused to let go. “Don’t leave.”
It was the first time ever he heard Keith voice. He was able to talk again and Keith wouldn’t be alone.
Shiro smiled as he closed his eyes and darkness began to swallow him.