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-...-
The vial was small, thin, and about as long as a human index finger. The liquid inside was colorless. The glass vial was made with lovely spirals decorating the sides. The top was covered with a small cork.
Any political figure, top secret agent, or anyone in between, had access to something similar. Something that produced the same results. They all knew exactly where it was located at all times, usually kept on their person. Should they not have this vial close by there is risk they will regret it greatly.
You see, the thing this liquid did was kill you. Within minutes of intake you would be no longer. And the entire point was to give these important people a chance to escape enemy hands if things got bad. To escape torture, humiliation, investigation, questioning, anything.
Nobody ever thought the prince would use it to escape himself.
-...-
It was late.
Outside, the night had taken over, the moon slowly rising in the sky. Stormwind was cold, covered in a layer of snow, but yet also warm in her holiday cheer. Colorful lights and decorations could be seen from the keep. Smells of wonderful dinners, maybe even distant laughter.
Inside, the room was lit only by a torch lamp on the bedside, and a dull fire within the firepit across the room. A large bed, full of giant, warm covers. The prince, laying against the head of the bed, a book in hand. Though a really good book, the prince was not paying any attention to it.
“Prince Anduin,” A knock from the bedroom door. “I have your tea.”
“Please, come in!” Anduin called out, relieved to finally get what he’d been waiting for.
A woman came through the door, a metal tray with tea and a few other things. Sugar, honey, cream. Though the tray looked heavy, she carried it effortlessly. Anduin had made room for the tray on his bedside table, sitting up more to smile at the woman.
“Thank you so much.” He said as she placed the tea down.
“Anything for you, my dear.” The woman smiled back. “Anything else I can get you?”
“Nope, that will be all for tonight.” Anduin shook his head.
The woman turned to leave. “Alright then. You know where to find me. Don’t stay up too long!”
“I won’t, promise!” Anduin nodded his head, smiling at her as she left, closing the door behind her.
Anduin sighed, his smile becoming weak. He placed the book aside, turning to sit on the side of the bed. He paused, only for a second, then reached into the top drawer of the bedside table. He reached in, searching the back right corner. When he found what he wanted, he pulled it out, shutting the drawer, and placing it upon the side table. Placed behind the tea tray now, a vial.
Anduin then turned to his tea. He stirred the tea with a small spoon, adding in sugar or honey or cream as he saw fit. This time the tea had been specifically from Pandaria, and the keep had a lot of it, considering they’d returned from the continent about six months ago. Thanks to Anduin’s efforts to save Pandaria, many of those he met along the way wanted to gift him things. A supply of amazing foods and teas for Stormwind was something Anduin really appreciated. The chefs of Stormwind found great fun experimenting with the new ingredients.
Though, to tell the truth, that was about the only good thing Anduin left Pandaria with.
Once his tea was to his tastes, he stopped stirring it and grabbed the mug, slowly lifting it to his lips. It was hot, steaming, up he blew air at it to cool the top quicker. After a bit, he then took a small sip of the tea. It was so warm and a bit sweeter than usual, but this time he was okay with that. The honey smelled lovely along with the pandaren tea, the steam comforting. Just holding the hot cup in his hands, close to himself, made him relax. He sat there for awhile, just enjoying the moment.
He placed the cup down on the tray, using the spoon to stir at it again. With a small sigh, the prince reached over to the vial. He tried not to think too hard about it. His hand holding it already shook. Taking a deep breath, he pulled the cork out, pouring the contents into his tea. He watched the liquid fall into the steam, the beautiful greens of the tea, and disappear as if nothing was amiss. Anduin placed the vial back on the table, the cork left aside on the tray.
He stirred the tea longer then he realize, waiting, stalling. It smelled no different, looked no different, moved no different. The tea was still just as comforting before. Anduin pulled his hand away from the spoon, leaving it in the cup. He sat there, mind blank, because anything there was to think about, he’d already spent six months contemplating. He’d made his decision.
Anduin reaching over and held the cup in his hands again. Holding it close, he looked down to watch it steam. Mesmerized by the tea, he’d blanked out again.
A knock on the door startled the prince. Anduin nearly spilled some of the tea. Heart racing just a bit, he quickly placed the tea back down on the tray.
“Yes?” Anduin called out, unsure who else could want to visit him this late.
“You mind a visitor?” It was his father.
“You can come in.” Anduin replied after a moment.
Slowly, the door opened, and Varian entered the room, closing the door behind him. The king did not wear his heavy armor, but thick cloth clothes. A simpler outfit that he usually only wore when he was completely sure he wanted to do no more work nor mess with anyone’s crap anymore. Also known as clothes he wore to bed. His hair messy, in a more loose ponytail.
“You need anything?” Anduin asked, slightly confused on why he was here.
“Can’t a father just visit his son?” Varian asked, teasing a bit, sitting beside Anduin on the bed. “I didn’t see you much today, it’s been so busy.”
“It has.” Anduin nodded. “I hope things are going well on Draenor?”
“So i’ve been told, yes.” Varian answered. “But lately i’m a bit tired of the subject.”
Anduin smiled at his father’s honesty. Varian liked to visit his son sometimes, to chat or just say hi. He had no schedule, Varian stopped by whenever he felt like it. Anduin enjoyed spending time alone with his father, actually getting to bond. They two were constantly under watch and guard and lock and key when out being the King and the Prince. Here, just here, they were nothing but a father and his son.
“So what you do today?” Varian asked, “Anything different?”
Anduin nodded, “I had my walk around Stormwind. It was much colder today then the last week. My..my bones ached a bit more because of it, but there’s nothing the light can’t fix.”
“Don’t push yourself too much.” Varian looked concerned whenever Anduin mentioned his injuries. His son would forever have to deal with pain because of his sacrifice. “Don’t want you to have the aches of an eighty year old at the age of twenty.”
“They’re not that bad, I swear.” Anduin laughed.
“Okay. But I do worry.”
Anduin leaned against his father’s arm, sighing. “I know.”
“I heard some of the kids started a snowball fight with you.” Varian continued. “Heard you lost.”
Anduin smiled at the memory. “It’s hard to win when an entire class of seven year olds gang up on you.”
“I would be afraid of them too.” Varian tried to picture Anduin against the children. It was a funny thought.
“The strong and valiant King Wrynn afraid of seven year olds?” Anduin poked. “Don’t let the Horde find out about that. You’d be screwed.”
“Hey, children are possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with.” Varian smirked. “Running the city is an easier task then raising you.”
“I don’t make it easy, do I.” Anduin leaned off of Varian’s side. He glanced at the cup. For a second. The light flickering off of it. Mesmerizing.
“Not that I help much.”
Anduin looked back at his father. “As they say, shit happens.”
Varian smiled. Anduin didn’t curse much, if at all, especially not in public. But, one or twice, when comfortable, he’d speak less properly. Varian enjoyed these moments with his son because Anduin spoke more like himself, not as a political figure. Having to pretend to be something you’re not was difficult, something Varian knew too.
“Anything else happen?”
“Mm,” Anduin leaned back, thinking. “Made a short visit to Goldshire. A mage lend me the use of a portal, so I only stayed for maybe two hours.”
“Goldshire?” Varian asked. “I trust you didn’t go to the inn.”
Anduin laughed. “I only wanted to visit with the locals and guards. I also saw they were setting up for the Darkmoon faire again.”
“Maybe we should go this time,” Varian said, “I could probably miss some sleep for a trip to the faire with you.”
Anduin nodded. “That’d be fun.”
“Man, I haven’t been to that faire in a long time.” Varian thought aloud. “You were...maybe twelve? Ten? When we last went.”
“I..I must admit, I visited the faire six months ago. Maybe seven.” Anduin replied. “I had a friend. Never been. I had to take him.”
“Oh? I shouldn’t be surprised you would find a way off Pandaria to go to a faire.” Varian paused. Anduin was pretty good at sneaking around. He, along with being a priest, was skilled in many rogue abilities.
“I had the help of a mage. They are very useful.” Anduin added.
“Yes, Yes they are…” Varian agreed, the two pausing in their conversation.
Anduin glanced back over to his tea, for just a second, a millisecond, and Varian noticed, just out of curiosity, followed his glance. He saw the tea beginning to cool, the spoon, sugar and cream and honey. The flicker of the torch lamp. The shine of a small glass vial, empty.
“Anduin.” Varian’s voice changed in tone, his hand reached over, grabbing his arm, but not violently or threateningly or of any force. “What is that?”
Varian knew exactly what it was, but didn’t want to believe it.
“I, I uh, Uhm” Anduin’s heart raced, his fear and anxiety clawing at his mind, as if it’d been there the entire time.
“Why is it empty?” Varian sounded worried. Worried and rushed and concerned and afraid.
“I...I-”
“You didn’t drink it, please tell me you didn’t drink it.” Varian’s face showed the pain in his voice.
Anduin felt large, blurring, goopy tears blind his sight and his lip quiver. Anduin looked down, shaking his head no, his hand trying to wipe away the tears. It didn’t help though, they were instantly replaced with more.
“No, I didn’t.” He choked out. He brought both hands up to cover his tears, his hair dripping from his shoulders, just long enough to be pushed behind his ear by his father.
Varian moved his hand from Anduin’s arm to Anduin’s back.
“It’s...it’s in the tea.” Anduin mumbled.
Varian glanced over at the tea, seeing it still rather full, yet no relief coming from that. Varian shifted to sit a bit closer to Anduin. He didn’t really know what to think, what to do, what to say. Not as a father or as a king. Varian had never been good with mental health and just about everyone knew that, based on his own alcoholism and poor anger management. All his problems, problems Anduin used to be afraid of, stemmed from his own depression.
When Anduin calmed down in his sobbing, he spoke again.
“I’m...I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I just, I, I don’t know.” Anduin too didn’t know what to say. He knew exactly why, but...but opening up was hard and he’d thought he would never have to do that.
“No, its..its okay. I’m not mad, I promise.” Varian replied, his voice softer. He wanted to help, not make the problem worse. He worried he would and he tried his best to comfort instead of scare the sixteen year old boy.
“You should be.” Anduin mumbled and Varian almost didn’t catch that.
“Why? Why should I be mad?”
Anduin looked to his side, away from his father.
“I’m a failure. I do nothing but..but cause other people trouble.” He answered. “Everything you wanted in a son and I turned out to be none of it.”
“Anduin I’ve long since realized you were never meant to be a warrior. All I truly wanted was for you to be happy, to find your...your thing. Your power.” Varian said. “You are everything I could have hoped for and more.”
Anduin looked at his father.
“The part I..I don’t understand,” Anduin shook. “Is that I know this. I know you’re proud. Yet, for some reason, knowing it doesn’t matter. I still feel as if I didn’t know. Part of me continues to want to believe the opposite.”
Varian rubbed Anduin’s back lightly, reassuring his son that he was there for him. Anduin paused, enjoying the contact. Enjoying the comfort of having someone listening to him.
“There are so many reasons I thought about this.” Anduin continued. “They’re all so stupid, so small, but together….together they overpower me. I'm in constant pain since the bell, leaving me much more tired after a lot less time. There are things that...that he told me, that people said, that echo in my mind and I know they mean nothing, empty threats, comments, but I can’t let go. I feel like there are so many things I could be doing, should be doing, but i’ve created a barrier that I can’t pass through.”
Varian listened.
“I feel so… out of place all the time. Most of the citizens, the other children, they’re afraid of me. Afraid to be themselves around me. Like...Like I’m going to tell on them for just existing. The ones who played with me when I was little, they’ve changed. It’s been so hard to fit into any group. No one else is my age and wants to hang out with me. It’s just a bunch of old people treating me like a toddler.”
Anduin felt tears returning, his voice quickening, his arms shaking.
“And the one time I finally find a friend, he leaves me. Betrays me. I know you didn’t like him, auntie didn’t either, but for fucking once in my life someone treated me like something other then fragile royalty. We argued, disagreed on a lot of fronts, but I enjoyed every second. And then he goes off to do stupid shit and never return.” Tears dropped to his lap. “It made me feel so stupid. Stupid for trusting him the tiny amount i did. Stupid for feeling like our friendship could’ve been more. Like he could fix everything his people broke. I gave him a chance and got humiliated by it.”
Anduin choked on a sob, but continued before Varian could say anything.
“And thinking of him now only leads me to thinking of her! Years later and her abuse, her everything, still makes me feel sick. I still flinch at any chance someone even looked like they might hit me. I find it so hard to cry because I’m afraid she’ll hear me. Scream at me. I know that i’ve proven her wrong a thousand times over but her words still control me. How I will never amount to anything, how i’m weak, how i’m nothing but a nuisance.”
Anduin leans back against his father’s side.
“I know none of it is true. None of it. But I’m terrified of the future. Scared to death of the thought of being king. I don’t even want to be prince sometimes. All the children thought that I could do anything, have anything, but I feel so trapped. I hate feeling like everything is watching me. I hate having thousands of lives rest upon my hand. I hate fearing that one moment an assassin could end it all. That I will have to face my friends in battle. That just as a prince, ill be just as trapped as a king.” Anduin shook. “They all like my ideas of peace, of a world without war, but they don’t subscribe to any ideas or policies that would lead to peace. Refuse to listen to a child when the child defends his position.”
Anduin stopped, his cries the only noise in the room for a good minute or two.
“Anduin.” Varian started softly.
“I’m so sorry.” Anduin cried.
“Don’t be.” Varian replied. “You carry so much on your shoulders so well that it’s hard to realize just how heavy it is. I can’t change how people act towards us, they act afraid of me too, but know that they still love you. They love you dearly. As do I.”
“And friends come and go. One of my best friends tried to end the world with zombies. Another...another tried to steal my kingdom right from under me. Steal my family.” Varian sighed. “You can’t stop them from showing their true colors. But none of it is your fault. You believed in your friend. Defended him because he’d proven to be worth your defense. Don’t be ashamed the asshole didn’t realize how good he had it.”
Anduin, though small, laughed.
“Becoming king was...was terrifying. It’s a big responsibility. Millions of lives will rest on your shoulder, but you aren't alone in protecting them. You’re people alone are strong. Every king has assistants, advisors, people who help you make decisions. And you’ll have the other leaders too. And me, for now.”
“Promise me you’ll live till your eighty and retire and never die?” Anduin said, mostly as a poor joke, but also because it was exactly what he wanted to happen.
Varian pat Anduin’s head. “I will try my best.”
“Thank you.” Anduin blinked, slowly, growing tired.
“I’m not the best at talking about these problems,” Varian said after a pause. “Know that i’ll try my best to help you. With this. With anything.”
Anduin lazily nodded his head.
“I could find you better help. A therapist if you want.” Varian offered.
“I …. yes. yeah..” Anduin muttered.
“...We’ll go to the faire as soon as it opens.” Varian added. “You, me, whatever junkfood they sell there.”
Anduin smiled, containing a laugh. “Sure. As long as you ride the roller coaster with me.”
“There's a roller coaster now?”
“Yeah, it’s about time.” Anduin nodded.
“You’d think they’d have more with all those giant tents around with nothing in them.”
“I know.”
Anduin and Varian sat together, for awhile, talking again, about anything. Everything. Though Varian hadn’t the words, he had his listening, his being there, and that was everything to Anduin. His offers of help, of more times were he could be himself. His father was everything to him. He was so proud of him, as was it the other way around.
When Anduin began to yawn, Varian figured it was time to let the boy rest. He dearly needed it. As he stood up, he turned to look at the tea tray.
“Do you … want me to take that?” Varian asked.
Anduin didn’t answer at first, expecting Varian to just take it, no asking. But, but this question. It meant a lot. Varian trusted his son a great deal.
“Yeah. yes, please.” Anduin nodded his head, yawning again, leaning back in his bed.
“Thank you.” Varian said, taking the tray, the tea, everything, even the vial, with him. As he got to the door, he looked back at his son.
“Don’t be afraid to get me if you need anything. Want anything.” He said.
“I won’t. Not anymore.” Anduin replied.
Varian smiled. “I’m proud of you.”
Anduin sleepily smiled. “I’m proud of you too.”
When Varian left, Anduin took a few moments to absorb everything of their visit. He felt...calmer. Happy in a way. Relieved.
The prince turned to his torch lamp, cutting the flame, and went to sleep.
-...-
The next afternoon Anduin had found a replacement vial sitting on his side table. Along with it, a note.
“Anduin,
I trust you to make the right decisions.
Know that I love you,
Varian.”
Anduin placed the vial back into the far right corner of his drawer.
And then he’d leave it there, unsure of the next time he’d think about it, but knew that it would not be any time soon.
-...-