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This was not the first time they’d worked out together, far from it, but Teruki still got the same light-headed feeling as always when he was around Kageyama, even more so now because of the intense look in his eyes.
“I’m so glad you said yes to this it really made my day Monday!” Kageyama's voice was much more chipper than usual. He was tying his brightly colored shoelaces with an excited zest as if he were barely able to contain the urge to sprint off into the sunset unhindered by thoughts of anything else but his goal. His goal, of course, was the ever-existing thought of body improvement, but Teruki knew it was deeper than that, or at least had become so over the past year that he’d known him.
On Monday, they had been talking on the phone late at night as per usual, Teruki was lounging back on his bed surrounded by the warm and familiar air of his apartment walls. He liked living solitarily, but there was a certain loneliness that came from independence. The phone calls he had with Kageyama on a regular basis were something that kept him excited for what came the next day, and the voice that filled the tiny speaker in his phone seemed to also exist and fill up space beyond that. For the last ten minutes or so, he had been rattling on about an upcoming movie expo nearby that one of his favorite actors would be at, he noticed, however, Mob’s attention beginning to wane.
“Anyways he’s gonna be there on the second day and I really want to go and get his autograph on this poster I have of his debut film!”
“Mmhm...” Kageyama's tone told Teruki he was far off somewhere, thinking of something far different than any autograph signing.
“Kageyama? Is something wrong?” asked Teru, shifting a little in his bed. He could tell that Kageyama was surprised by his attentiveness for all he got back was a light,
“Oh!” Teruki waited for a couple of moments before opening his mouth to speak again, but Kageyama surprisingly beat him to the punch, “No! Nothing’s wrong. I was zoned out...” he said although Teru could tell he wasn’t quite finished. “I was thinking about...asking you something.” he sounded a little meeker than usual, it made Teruki’s heart skip a beat.
He wants to ask me something? He thought, inhaling a little breath that his body refused to let out. “Oh? And what were you thinking of asking me?” his tone was a little less even than he’d wanted it to be, but he knew that Kageyama wouldn't think anything of it, not as long as he was distracted by his own thoughts. This relieved him somewhat, but his heart was still beating fast and his face was beginning to warm up.
“You know how I'm a part of the body improvement club at my school right? Well, it’s nice having a whole pack of people to do group workouts with, but it’s...” he paused. Teruki could tell he was carefully trying to formulate his sentence, so he sat silently patiently on the line, eager to hear the rest, “it’s just that, I wanted to start doing some evening runs without all those people around...and I thought that I might ask you to go with me? Be my running buddy maybe?” these words might as well have taken Teru's heart out of his chest and zapped it with a laser, turning it to mush. He felt his face get hot as an iron.
“Really? You want me to go with you!?” he was trying to downplay the enthusiasm in his voice but it wasn’t working very well, he heard Kageyama giggle softly on the other end of the line.
“Only if you want to of course. If it’s alright.”
“Of course it’s alright!” Teru wasn’t sure of when it had happened but he was standing now, pacing the floor excitedly. It was probably his body’s way of disposing of the excess energy Kageyama's words had given him.
“Great!” there was an enthusiasm backing Kageyama's voice that was very jarring to Teruki, who stopped dead in his tracks, gripping his stomach by instinct because it too was now filled with a mushy feeling. “I know it’s been a while since we last worked out together. I’ll definitely be able to keep up with you now!” he could practically feel Kageyama's grin. He was getting lightheaded from how fast his heart was beating and had to go sit back down on his bed.
“So, um, when were you thinking of doing these runs? Is it going to be a weekend thing since you don’t have club then?” Teruki was gripping the cloth of his shorts so tightly his knuckles were beginning to pale.
“Yeah, I wanted to start Saturday, if that works for you?” Teruki hesitated to respond as quickly this time, afraid to let Kageyama on to the real way he felt which was: as if any time of the day, month, or year didn’t work for him when it came to spending time with Kageyama.
“Yeah! Sounds like a plan! We can run on my usual route!” he was so much more excited about this than he needed to be, but he was enjoying the butterflies that tangled up the emotions in his stomach much more than he would ever be willing to let on to himself. He heard Kageyama stifle out a large yawn and pulled the phone away from his face slightly so he could see the time. He remembered it being well past midnight, wow it’s getting kind of late, especially for Kageyama , thought Teru, stretching out his arms and falling back onto his pillows; he couldn’t say he didn’t feel the same way though, a small haze had begun falling about his eyes.
“Alright! Well, goodnight Hanazawa, I'll see you tomorrow after school.” Teruki had felt the edges of his mouth curl up some more, that’s right, I get to walk him home every day don’t I , he thought fondly and said his goodnights back to Kageyama. Ever since that night he had been mentally preparing himself for this moment, but he didn’t know how ill-prepared he would be for it in the slightest.
“Hanazawa? Are you ready?” Kageyama's voice pulled him back into reality a bit, and he realized that for the past couple of minutes he had been staring with some amount of intensity down at Kageyama's shoes. He peeled his eyes away from them and up at Kageyama, who had a much softer look on his face than he had been prepared for, “it’s gonna be so much fun having a running partner!” Teruki’s face flushed with more warmth than he wanted to acknowledge, his eyes lingering a little too long on Kageyama's mouth after he said the word ‘partner’. He snapped his head around facing forward toward their path.
“Ah - uhh - yep!” he said and sprinted off without thinking. He could hear Kageyama's surprise behind him.
“Woah there! Why don’t we try and pace ourselves,” his tone was lighthearted and full, and Teruki, now with the realization he was going much too fast for the beginning of a run, slowed down to where he was level with Kageyama. It was a nice pace, a little bit past that of a jog, but it wasn’t affecting either of them too much at the moment. He could tell that Kageyama was focused on his breathing, in through his nose and out through his mouth, steady and unfaltering. Kageyama’s breathing very much reminded Teruki of his personality, for it was very thought driven just like he was.
As they ran along their path, the sun continued to sink into the horizon, it was a little concealed by the clouds, but it lit the sky up in a fiery blaze of colors. It was especially nice to watch alongside someone else, that someone, in particular, being Kageyama. He had felt such strong feelings toward his friend for so long now that he could hardly remember when or how it started, simply that it was what it was.
It had been slipping into what Teruki considered the danger zone for some time now; every time he even thought about Kageyama he could feel his face heating up, his throat tightening, a similarly hot feeling at the back of his neck. He had spent a great deal of time ranting about it to Reigen, who told him he had been in similar situations and that it was completely normal. Teru was worried though, mostly about ruining their friendship, something he cherished and enjoyed too much to give up to any affection be it requited or not. Reigen had reassured him on this topic too, but each reassurance just made him feel worse about the situation.
Still, he didn’t want to bottle up his feelings completely either because he felt it to be unwise. he fell a few paces behind his friend so he could get his favorite view of him. The warm sunlight was making his glistening face glow and he was wearing a determined smile, wind blowing through his rather fresh undercut with every stride he took. He was beautiful like this. He was beautiful all the time, but especially when he was like this, passionate, unfaltering, extremely alive. This is the part of his feelings that made Teruki the most frustrated, the unequivocal and simple beauty that existed in Kageyama. It was just something he could never hope to ignore.
They were well into the route by now, which lasted just under 3 kilometers, and were passing by a canal. It, like the sky, was aburst with radiant oranges and pinks, which were bouncing every which way, off of buildings, bicycles, skin. When he looked back at Kageyama the lightheaded feeling came along with it, the way the light shone in his eyes, it was too much. He picked up the pace again, coming to run just slightly in front of him.
“So, Hanazawa, are you having a good time?” Kageyama said to him breathily. Teruki, unsure of how to answer the question, could tell that Mob’s energy was beginning to falter, which made sense considering they had just passed the halfway point. They were crossing a railroad track and had just started into the suburban half of the run, the part that took him all the way to his house. Kageyama knew this was the case of course and had agreed it would be nice to cool off on the way home with a walk, although Teru had sensed there was also some other reason he’d agreed to go on Teruki’s running route. He had kept it to himself though, just like he wanted to keep the answer to his dear friend’s question to himself.
“I am!” he said the two simple words carefully, without too much force, “how about you? Able to keep up alright?” for Teruki, this route was familiar, up until today it had filled him with next to no emotion whatsoever. It was an intermediate route for someone like Kageyama, who had just recently begun to be able to run without any kind of exhaustive spell. For Teruki though, it was easy, two small hills, one small gravelly part; the rest was on flat, paved roads. He had chosen it partially because he liked to pass by the canal and the suburbs that were nice and quiet. Really though, he found that he had chosen it due to a need for normalcy, and that is what it had provided for the most part. Kageyama’s presence tore through that veil just as easily as it had every other in Teruki’s life, however.
“Haha! It is a bit of a challenge to keep up with your pace, but I really am having a good time!” there was a different, softer note to the breathiness that escaped Kageyama's vocal cords. It was one that made Teru want to run faster and frantically all the way to his house so that he could lock himself in his room and scream into a pillow. This just isn’t fair, none of it’s fair, he thought, his throat was clenching up, neck on fire, just as I would expect I guess . Still, it felt a little bit out of the ordinary. His vision began to cloud, and it wasn’t just the lack of the sun that was doing it to him. A ringing began light in his ears, ten more paces and it grew exponentially. One stride, breath caught in his lungs, another, his eyes blinking wildly, the next moment he knew, there was only dark in his vision and a pair of arms beneath his torso.
“Hanazawa? Hanazawa?” the voice he recognized as Kageyama's filtered milkily through the cotton in his ears, “Hanazawa are you okay? Answer me!” he blinked a few times, feeling a light hand on his shoulder, and the haze was gone. He could tell he was lying horizontally in a patch of soft grass, which he instinctively gripped in order to get a feel as to what was going on around him. He pointed his vision toward his friend’s face, which was awash with worry, although probably significantly less than just a few moments before. “Oh! You’re alright!” he felt nothing for a split second, and then a whoosh of air as Kageyama's two stocky arms hoisted him into an embrace.
“What. what is going on ?” Hanazawa's voice had a lot less power to it than he had been intending to use, in fact, he felt rather out of breath.
“We were running and then all of a sudden you took a nosedive, I'm lucky I caught you before you hit the ground or you would have had a nasty broken nose.” Kageyama was talking more deliberately than Teruki had been expecting, pulling him in a little tighter into the embrace rather than pulling away at all. Slowly, Teru reached one arm at a time around Kageyama's waist, squeezing lightly when he had allowed himself to get used to the feeling. It wasn’t as though they’d never hugged before, but something about this felt different.
“I...passed out?” he said, gaining a little tread in his tone.
“Yeah,” Kageyama parted from Teruki a little but still held fast, afraid that perhaps if he let go all the way Teruki might take another dive, “I don't know why though, you seemed to be doing just fine...” he was quieter this time, but the fervor in his voice had not lessened.
“I was...i think,”
“You think...?” Kageyama had an intense look in his eye, some of the worry had returned with it.
That’s right, couldn’t pull the wool over his eyes even if I tried , Teru thought, pulling Kageyama back into the hug in full. Kageyama seemed happy to return the gesture, adjusting and then tightening his hold once again. “Kageyama...” he said, he wasn’t really sure of how he was going to formulate his next few sentences, so he paused.
“Yes?”
“When you asked me to come on these runs with you, why did you ask me? Specifically? It isn’t as though you don’t have other friends who would be willing to do this with you.” he fully expected a ‘that’s why you passed out?’ to come out of Kageyama's mouth, but none such words escaped it. Instead, there was a soft laugh at the side of his ear.
“Oh, Hanazawa...I thought you might already have known the reason.”
“Oh?”
Another laugh and they rocked back into the grass, Kageyama was still holding onto him. The butterflies in his stomach betrayed his tight-lipped expression and he let out a soft noise as they sank into the ground. Gravity forced Kageyama's weight into him, but it wasn’t unpleasant even in the slightest, in fact, he was glad because at least if he passed out now he wouldn’t have anywhere to go but here, safe into those warm arms that held him firmly in their grasp. He was glad that at this time of the day no one was around to see how red in the face he probably was.
“kageyama...I...” he hated how cliche he sounded right about now but if he didn’t say something about the way he felt then his heart would burst from how fast it was going. He knew that his friend could very well feel it leaping out of his chest as he was laying right on top of it. “I don’t know how to say this without it sounding...weird?” he squeezed a little harder around Kageyama's waist.
“Oh don’t be silly, you don’t actually have to say it without me already knowing.” Kageyama's voice was barely above an audible level, “honestly it’s like you never stop saying it with the way you treat me.” the way Kageyama's delicate laughter echoed through his chest put him somewhat at ease. He found himself pushing Kageyama away somewhat so that his face was visible. He had a curious expression on, it was one that usually drove Teruki crazy, but right now it gave him comfort and confidence.
“But. What if I want to say it,” the full strength of his voice had returned, but he kept it discreet just as Kageyama had.
“Then I think you should.” Kageyama teased, bringing a hand out from under Teruki to remove some stray hairs that still clung to his face from its sheen of sweat.
He was still slightly hesitant, but the way Kageyama was looking at him encouraged words to spill out of his mouth, “I really care about you Kageyama. You know...In more than a friendship way.” he had to look away shortly after finishing his sentence because of how dizzy it made him feel to admit, but Kageyama used his free hand to maneuver his face back so that it was facing his own. He was smiling so warmly it hurt.
“I care about you that way too, Hanazawa.” Teru’s heart was beating so quickly and loudly that he was worried the entire block might have been able to hear it.
“You aren’t just saying that out of pity because I passed out are you?”
“Shut up!” Kageyama was laughing rather loudly now, melting back down into Teruki’s form, it was contagious, as his laughter always was, so Teru laughed along with him, letting his warmth soothe any of the haze from before away.
It was a few minutes before they finally sat up, walking over to a nearby vending machine so that Teruki could buy some much-needed water.
“So are you going to be okay running the rest of the way or do I need to float you home? I don’t think I could carry you all that way yet I’m not that strong.” Kageyama giggled, watching Teruki enthusiastically drain the water bottle of every last drop.
“I think I'll be fine, you know I deal with this kind of thing a lot.” he was only partially joking, he did have a habit of getting feverish or passing out from things he considered particularly stressful. He felt an arm slide around his waist and looked to his side where Kageyama stood with what he could have sworn was a mischievous expression.
“Yeah, let’s not push it. You’re walking home.”
“I feel like I've been grounded.”
“You have.” Kageyama pulled them forward into a leisurely pace, “now pay attention you have to tell me where we’re going because I have no idea where we are right now.” and they began off again side by side into the evening air.