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Okay, so Charlie's chicken and waffles wasn't exactly Chicken and Waffles. But somehow it had its own way of being delicious. It was probably more bias on Panda's part because he felt this extra closeness to Charlie after going through that whole ordeal with him. It had been a bit of a roller coaster--for both of them. There was a slight tenderness between them after they'd left the restaurant to return to the cave. Panda felt a little guilty for ruining dinner for his bros. He honestly would have been fine if they had stayed and enjoyed it without him. After all, Panda hadn't been the only one dying to eat there. They didn't seem to mind, though. He was grateful. After all, Charlie had started today wanting to share a meal with them and Panda honestly wanted to make him smile. He deserved it. Especially considering he didn't have to do any of the things he did today. But he did them for him and something about that warmed him all over.
He wanted to talk to him. There was so much he wanted to say....but he kinda didn't want to have a heart to heart with him with an audience. He hadn't gotten to say everything he wanted to say when Charlie finally got him to the restaurant. His words got cut short -thanks, Grizz-- and even when he stopped him from going, there was still so much more. He'd wanted to tell him that he was important. That he was sorry. He wanted to make up for everything. Panda didn't really know how to put what he was feeling into words without it becoming a mush fest. He just felt awkward....leaving it up in the air.
Dinner ended. Ice Bear and Grizz had left for the kitchen to clean off the plates they'd used (and secretly get more actual food) Panda stayed behind. It was getting late and it looked like Charlie was getting ready to leave. Panda watched as he blew out the candle that was halfways melted and fold up the picnic blanket nice and neatly so he could put it back in his basket. He rubbed his arm, mentally kicking himself to say something but he never did. Charlie stood up and Panda mirrored. He commented with his gratitude, more than happy that Panda had dinner with him. He lifted him up with a signature hug but uncharacteristically seemed to catch himself and set him down a second later. He looked a tad nervous in Panda's opinion. Of course, he could be projecting...
"Guess I should get go--" "Charlie--"
They both froze, staring at each other like they had earlier that night. Both of them were saying indecipherable things with their eyes. Each was waiting for the other to speak and neither of them was getting anywhere this way.
"About tonight..." Panda decided to be the one to break the awkward tension, "I...well, you know..." Come on, Panda. You've been rehearsing this since you left the city. Apologize. Give him a compliment. Do SOMETHING!
"Yeah..?" Charlie was suddenly coaxing him, adorably holding onto his basket with both hands. Panda wanted to scream. He looked so innocent and sweet and it made him lose every single word he'd ever stored away in his Panda brain.
So, instead of telling him what he felt, he diverted the question onto Charlie. Maybe it would calm him down. "Y-Y-You... looked like you had something to say earlier..."
"I did...?"
"Yeah....You know, before Grizz took me away and stuff..." He played with his paws and rocked lightly back and forth. He honestly was curious, even if it was just a bit of a scape goat in the beginning. He knew it was unfair. Charlie was probably just as curious about what Panda had been about to say. Still, he pressed. "What was it?"
Charlie definitely looked shy now. He also looked like he knew exactly what he was talking about. "Aw, it was just some stuff..." He took a hand off the basket to rub the back of his head. "You don't wanna hear about that..."
Panda took a step. "Now you've got me all curious!"
He laughed and Charlie laughed, too. They were standing closer to each other now. Panda's eyes were the first to open. Normally, he had always faced away when Charlie laughed, mostly due to annoyance. But seeing him now, so genuinely happy. Wow. He was so beautiful. Panda blushed, which is something that never happened around Charlie. Well, it was happening now...That was new...But he was too busy admiring him to freak out about it. Save that for a later date. Charlie opened his eyes after a moment and Panda compensated for the fact he'd been staring with a cheesy smile.
"Well, what were you gonna say..?”
Crap. So, Charlie had noticed that.. It seemed he wasn’t as naive as he initially thought. Panda gave a little laugh and shrugged his shoulders while looking away. “Nothing...It was nothing, really...It was just a long day…”
“Boy, was it!” Charlie added.
“Haha, yeah…” Panda glanced down at his feet.
"A lot of fun, though!" Charlie smiled and his statement made Panda's face shoot up immediately.
"Really?"
"Well, of course I did. I was with you, Pan-Pan. You're always fun to be around. And the city was kinda pretty. It was nice not being by myself for once.."
"But you hate the public. Being around people. You didn't even want to go. I forced you into it like a complete dingle…" Panda felt a lot of guilt for that. He thought back to that moment in the sewer. Charlie had been right to say all those things. It was why he'd gotten so mad. He wasn't used to hearing stuff like that. It was a surprise to hear it from Charlie, but definitely necessary. Panda could be really selfish at times…
"Hah, I won't lie, the idea of 'out there' still gives me the heebies.." he rubbed an arm for comfort. " But…" He looked back at Panda and grinned "after a while, I barely even noticed the people. Probably 'cause I was so busy trying to you where you needed to be…" he laughed lightly and then gave Panda a soft look. "But I like to think it's all cause you were there…" He pet him on the head a few times. "It's not so bad when we're….what was it you said..?"
"...a t-team?"
Charlie pointed at him "Yeah, that!"
"Aw, Charlie…" Panda felt his insides twist in a way that could only be described as pure affection and fondness. If he wasn't careful, he might hug Charlie. He was certainly fighting the urge.
"But I was so rude to you…" Panda emoted. He felt undeserving of Charlie's praises and high pedestal. "All I did was complain and order you around all day…"
"Aw, I know you were just stressin'. Don't you think another minute on it!"
"But!--" A long finger pressed to Panda's lips to silence him. He was so ill prepared for it that he may or may not have accidently kissed Charlie's finger (which he refused to think about)
Panda realized Charlie wasn't going to let him apologize for his behavior, so he didn't press the issue. Charlie had obviously forgiven him already. He was about to shoo him with his hand but Charlie moved it before he got the chance. He was staring at him with that stupid smile. He wondered what kept him so upbeat and cheery. It was almost like he was the embodiment of pure happiness. Panda knew he took advantage of that far too often..
“Charlie...I, um, had fun, too…” He said suddenly. He felt like he had to. Charlie was always telling him how much he enjoyed his company. Panda had to let him know that despite how he could be sometimes, he did actually like him. Their relationship was weird… He didn’t necessarily understand it, but wasn’t wholeheartedly opposed.
“Aww, ya did?” He squeaked with giddiness.
“Yeah...You really helped me. It really meant a lot...and it was a pretty crazy adventure, looking back at it…” Panda could laugh about it now. Things hadn’t turned out the way he originally wanted but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Charlie rustled his fur “Anytime, Pan-Man. Your ol’ buddy Charlie’s always gonna be here for ya..!” He glanced out one of the side windows, “....except for maybe right now...I should start heading out---
He kissed him. It was sudden and out of the blue. It was soft and warm and Panda found he was actually enjoying it. He’d never really had a proper kiss and it being with Charlie was more than a surprise. Panda knew it was happening and he didn’t stop it. He didn’t want to. He smiled into it, releasing for just a moment and then went in for another, pulling Charlie much closer to his height level.
“Oh, Charlie…” Panda swooned.
“Panda…”
“Panda..”
“ Pan-Pan! ”
Panda’s eyes jolted wide. The pink haze faded and he realized he’d been zoning out. His face fell along with his mouth, but his expression didn’t seem to bother Charlie none.
“I said I was gonna head out...You kinda went all sculpture on me…”He mocked a frozen pose for comedy purposes and laughed.
Panda was two seconds away from having a panic attack. He needed his inhaler, a blanket and perhaps a scan of his brain to figure out WHY he’d just had a real time fantasy about Charlie just now.
“You oka---” “YES. I’M DOING JUST FINE. THANKS FOR DINNER. IT WAS GREAT. CAREFUL ON YOUR WAY HOME”
He was shoving Charlie out the door, who stayed in a stiff pose from surprise until they reached outside. Panda closed the door very quickly and started hyperventilating. He felt bad for shoving Charlie away after they were having such a tender moment, but his little daydream was a little too tender, if you catch his drift. He was sprinting to find his inhaler and snatched it off a nearby shelf.
It was then that his brothers chose to come back.
“Hey, we heard a slam. Did Charlie go home? We were just gonna suggest he stay over. Its kinda late.”
Grizz and Ice Bear exchanged nods. Panda gave a very quick answer confirming Grizz’s question before he ran away not so inconspicuously. He was making a mental note to distance himself even further from Charlie now if it was going to make him have these kinds of thoughts. Or worse, accidentally acting on said thoughts.
Grizz’s mouth shifted at his brother’s odd behavior.
“Ice Bear smells fireworks.” Ice Bear said in response to his older brother’s confusion. “Emotional fireworks..”
--
Charlie stood outside the cave, just staring up.
He was smiling hopefully, lifting one arm in the air with his basket hanging off the other.
“Well, Charlie...You’re halfway there…”