Chapter Text
"Promise me, Robin-- Promise me you won't--" Chrom's voice faltered.
Robin turned to leave. Chrom snatched his wrist and yanked him back into the tent. His stare bore into Robin.
"Robin--"
Robin cast his eyes down. He felt Chrom tighten his grip. There would be bruises the next day.
"Robin--" Chrom's voice rang in his ears. The grip transferred to his shoulders, like he wanted to rattle him back to the present, but his hands went limp. Somehow heavier than before. "Robin, please, please just say something."
Each breath scraped Robin hollow. He chewed his lip. Screwed his eyes shut. Opened them again. Shook his head.
Silence pressed in.
Chrom cupped his cheek with his hand. Tilted his face up--anything to get Robin to make eye contact. "You are not going into this next battle," Chrom finally said, voice finding an edge of support. "You're staying behind the front lines. And that's an order."
Robin bit back a laugh. Shook his head again. The words found themselves low in his throat. "Chrom, now is not the time to be selfish."
"Let me land the final blow," Chrom said.
"Grima will just rise again in a thousand years--"
"--and our descendants will rise to the occasion just as we have--"
"You don't know that," Robin said. His voice dulled into something eerily calm. Finally, he made eye contact.
Chrom's breath caught in his throat.
"We have the tools to stop him for good," Robin said. "It’s like what Naga said. Only Grima can destroy Grima. I will land the final blow. I will fulfill my purpose, and you have no say in the matter. When you found me in that field, I promised to you that I would be useful until the end. I am fulfilling that promise."
"I don’t care about useful-- Let me be selfish. Just let me be selfish--I love you." The grip tightened again. "Does that not count for anything--" Chrom crushed him into his chest.
"Ours was a love born of desperation," Robin murmured, eyes falling shut. He could hear Chrom's heart pounding. There was a time when that same heartbeat had lulled him into a sense of security, when he'd fallen asleep beside him. "And I will never regret a moment of it. Perhaps in another life, we can be selfish. But you and I both know that this is what needs to happen." His voice sank into a whisper. Tears seeped into Chrom's shirt. "I'm sorry."
--
Robin jolted awake.
His laptop lay open on his bed, cycling through another youtube video. Blearily, he snapped it shut and sat up to stretch. The room was dark. The raucous screech of birds ate up any sense of calm in the early morning.
"Right," Robin muttered. Unshed tears burned his eyes. Sweat plastered his bangs to his forehead. He held his head in his hands, back rounded, feet on the floor, until he felt grounded again.
A knock startled him.
"Yes--?"
A deep voice answered. "Is everything alright?"
Robin nodded frantically, then realised the speaker couldn't see him. "Yes--I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
The door eased open. Frederick, large and imposing, dark hair disheveled around his head, stood with only his phone for light. "No, I was awake already. But I heard you shouting. More nightmares?" The circles under his eyes were as stark as Robin's.
Robin nodded and patted the bed.
The mattress creaked as Frederick sank down beside him. He was already dressed for work.
Robin glanced him up and down. "You as well?"
Frederick nodded with a grunt. "The same as always, yes."
"Mine too," Robin said. He stared at the wall where he'd stacked piles of books that did not fit on his shelf. On similar nights when he could not sleep, he read until his body shut down for a few hours. He sighed. "I know they're memories, Frederick. We don't have to dance around the issue by calling them nightmares. They're....flashbacks. Of another life."
The furrow in Frederick's brow deepened. "Yes, the similarities of the world that supposedly existed in the past, and our knowledge of each other is too much to be coincidence..." He sighed again. "I'm not sure what can be done about it. It's obviously hindering us from living the life we are presently engaged in..." He trailed off to study Robin.
Dark skin had been sapped of warmth, and white hair lay disheveled and greasy around dull eyes. He'd always been petite, but now he seemed impossibly fragile.
"We need to find a better way to handle this," Frederick finally finished. "I worry about you."
"Hm," Robin said. He grabbed a pillow and held it in his lap. "I wonder if he's out there somewhere."
"Who?"
"Chrom." Robin raised his brows as if to say 'who else'. He dug the heel of his palm into one of his eyes.
"We did find Gaius," Frederick commented. "So it's not impossible."
"Gaius doesn't seem to remember anything," Robin murmured. His lips pursed. "It's best if Chrom, if he's out there, is equally unburdened. You know what I mean?"
"Perhaps," Frederick said. He stood, and clapped Robin on the shoulder. "I'm going to head into work early today. I don't see any sense of laying awake for another few hours when I could put them to good use. I hope you'll make it to your classes today. Or at least attempt." He turned to leave, but glanced back. "And make sure you eat something for breakfast. I packed a lunch for you."
Robin hummed his acknowledgement, and waited until he heard the door to the apartment shut and the jingle of keys in the lock before grabbing his laptop again. The light from the screen seared into his vision, and he blinked until his eyes adjusted, already typing his way into the forums he frequented.
"Medieval Lore".
Nothing new. He typed familiar search terms: "Grima AND Chrom AND Ylisse". Only his posts came up--inquiries about any texts on legends from that general era. He'd followed a few leads, but they'd ended in dead ends. There wasn't much written history from that period, he'd concluded--and perhaps less so from what would be considered mythical.
Fatigue slammed into Robin. His face hit the pillow, and he sank into a haze as he browsed for the next hour.
--
An adrenaline came with every battle Robin fought. Not just the ring of metal on metal or the scream of warriors battling, running, falling--but the natural patterns that Robin saw in the formations of the troops, even in the thick of the fight. He could not describe the rush he felt, back to back with Chrom, shouting orders, blasting enemies. Feeling trusted. Relied on. Useful.
This battle had a different atmosphere.
They'd approached Naga solemnly. There was no peptalk. No lustful screaming to pump themselves up. Even Chrom barely spoke.
They were teleported onto Grima's back, and without a word, engaged the enemy. The grunting and yelling rang out hollow into the static already buzzing in Robin's skull. He could not look Chrom in the eye. He shouted orders into the void. Barely noticed Chrom relaying them. The soldiers moved as if heavy puppets dangling from the strings of Robin's strategy. Cutting. Slashing. Getting cut down by Risen.
There was an energy underfoot--in the slick scales that rose and fell with Grima's breath. It was the kind of cold that was only alive because it sapped the heat from around it. Robin took a deep breath.
"So this is who I become," he murmured to the beast.
He looked up and locked eyes with himself.
Grima's lip quirked into a sneer. "Embrace it," he mouthed.
The next shockwave sent Chrom's army to their knees.
A wave of nausea hit Robin, but he struggled against limbs that dropped like lead, climbing slowly to his feet. Black spots ate his vision. He rattled like he might fall apart.
"What is this--" Chrom shouted. He lay heaving on the ground, too weak to move. "Robin--no--stay down--" He reached out, fingers barely missing the hem of Robin's coat.
Grima took a step forward. He raised a hand to caress Robin's cheek, fingertips lingering there. Robin grit his teeth, clutching his tome tighter.
"End this foolishness, Robin," Grima said. He spoke as if sampling every word. "You see how feeble these human bonds are? How feeble they have made you? Join me, and become a god, and I might spare their lives. Embrace your true self. There is no escaping it."
Frederick grunted something--but the roar in Robin's ears swallowed his words.
A portal engulfed Robin.
The ache of battle and the weakness of his body vanished.
There was nothing. No heartache. No failing limbs. No sound. No fear.
Nothing.
"See? See how much better that is, Robin. Submit to your purpose. Submit to me."
Robin closed his eyes.
It truly would be easier...
--
Robin's alarm penetrated the darkness. He yelped as his face hit the floor, and thrashed against the blankets tangled around his limbs. Sweat-drenched and gasping for breath, he seared hot and cold.
"Fuck--" he snarled. His fist slammed into the floor. "FUCK."
Body on fire and joints throbbing, he extricated himself, then wrapped himself into a ball until his breathing slowed.
"Fuck....fuck.....fuck...." he whispered, taking comfort in the scrape of his own voice.
Morning sun lit his curtains and seeped across his floor, sticky with humidity.
Robin snatched his phone from under his bed and dialed.
Frederick picked up on the first ring.
"Hello--Robin--? Is everything alright--" There was an edge of alarm to his voice. Poorly masked.
Robin fumbled through a few breaths. "Yes...just--I landed the final blow? Didn't I? Tell me that I destroyed Grima in that life. Please--" He stared at the floor, eyes wide. Anxiety seethed at his core.
"Do I need to come home?"
"--No. Just--just answer the question. Okay."
"I'm coming home--"
"NO. Answer the question Frederick. I'll--I'll be okay if you answer the question."
Frederick sighed. "Very well." He paused as if to collect his thoughts. His voice sank into something lower. Solemn. "Yes, you landed the final blow, at least in my recollection. You destroyed Grima."
The air left Robin at once. He felt almost weak with relief. "Okay. Yes. Good. I--I remember too. Okay, good..."
He closed his eyes a moment, still so tired that he felt he might get sucked back into his dream.
Yes. He remembered. He remembered the voices of his friends and loved ones cutting through that haze. He remembered clawing his way back out--back into the pain that pounded his body and limbs that would not move.
And he remembered shoving Chrom out of the way to land the final blow.
Death came so quickly in the force that rebounded. As effortless and abrupt as the flick of a switch.
"Robin?"
Robin nearly dropped his phone. "Yeah? Sorry. I was just--I was just collecting myself. Sorry for interrupting you at work. I'm --I'm okay. There's no need to come home."
He swiped his sleeve across his eyes.
"Are you positive?"
"Yes," Robin said. "I'm--I'm actually just going to get dressed and get ready to go out."
"Call me if you need anything."
Robin left his phone on the floor to wander to the bathroom. His face was a mess of snot and tears, but he took care to wash it thoroughly and pat it dry.
"Yes, I landed the final blow," he repeated to himself. He didn't have the energy to shower, but he dunked his head under the stream of water from the bath faucet and towelled it dry. "I did what I was supposed to do."
He threw on the same hoodie he'd been wearing all week, and struggled into sweatpants that had been laying on the floor. He packed a bag with a notebook, his computer, and phone.
Then paused to stare at himself in the mirror a moment longer.
"If I did the right thing, why can't I find peace."
--
Robin was headed somewhere--anywhere but his classes. He sulked past the university, grinding his teeth against a headache, and wandered toward a coffeeshop crammed between the school bookstore and one of the dining halls.
As expected, it was crammed with meandering lines of undergrads. The back was pooled with others waiting for their name to be called.
Robin sighed and slumped into a table to outwait the crowd, hands threading through his hair as he stared at his phone.
"Robin?"
He glanced up.
Gaius stood in front of his table, donning the apron with the cafe's logo and an empty tray atop one palm. The green visor clashed with orange hair and the smattering of freckles across his cheeks.
"Ah..." Robin said. He blinked past the haze in his vision. "Good morning."
Gaius pulled up a chair, spun it around, and planted himself down backwards on it, facing Robin. He set the tray down. "I need an excuse to take a break anyway. Playing hookie again? Is that something you can do in law school?"
"We'll find out," Robin said. He thumbed through his phone. "I keep up with the readings at home. I haven't failed out yet."
"Balls," Gaius said, winking. "Huge balls."
Robin snorted in spite of himself, though the smile didn't reach his eyes.
"You haven't had your caffeine yet today--" Gaius said. "I can tell--" he stood so suddenly that the chair nearly toppled forward. "I'll hook you up--just give me a sec." He pranced off toward the back.
"Gods, he's the same person," Robin murmured. "Short of calling me bubbles, anyway."
"What was that?"
Robin jumped.
Gaius plunked down a styrofoam cup in front of him, topped with a huge pile of whipped cream. Coffee sloshed over and onto the table.
Robin patted it with a napkin and took a sip, coming away with a mustache. "I appreciate the coffee--really--but was the cream necessary?"
"I think it tastes good like that," Gaius said with a wink.
Robin couldn't argue this. He ignored his new facial hair and slurped the rest of it down as quickly as the scalding liquid would allow.
"What was this about calling you Bubbles?" Gaius asked.
"It's nothing," Robin said.
A strange look crossed Gaius's eyes, like he was considering something, but he stopped short and shook his head with a renewed grin. "Whatever you say. Anyway, I should get back to work before the bossman yells at me. I just got this job...I really can't mess it up this time--" He patted Robin's shoulder. "Come around again sometime soon, yeah? The pastries here are really good. It'd make a good treat while studying." He sauntered off.
"Glad to see he's living an honest life...at least?" Robin mused. He glanced at his phone again.
New Notification, an email of a new comment on his forum.
He scrolled through it.
"Hello! We go to the same school, I think! Maybe different program, though. I'm in the psychology program, but I have an interest in odd history so I listen to a lot of podcasts about various myths and legends.
Anyway, I remember listening to a podcast episode that glossed over the topic in question. Don't remember the name of the episode so you'd have to dig through like 300 episodes, but it mentioned a lot of stuff about a book called Grima's Truth that they dug up some fifty years ago. Don't know if that helps any, but apparently there are some old papers scattered around, some with scans of some of the pages. It was a pretty fragile book to begin with, so they could only scan a few before they had to start refurbishing the book. Not sure where it's kept--some archeological institute. Anyway, don't know if any of that helps.
If you're on campus, you can check out the stacks, since I doubt much of this made it into the digital catalogues.
Good luck! Let me know if you find out anything good. It's such a cool topic!"
Robin blinked. A wave of cold washed over him, but he staggered up from his chair.
"It's just the book," Robin told himself, as he walked outside. The heat of summer only made him feel clammier. "The weapon is nothing without its wielder." A number of questions bombarded him.
If the book existed--did magic still exist in this world? Was it just a lost art? Could Robin still harness it?
Robin shook his head with a grimace. Maybe it was better to leave some things buried in the past, though his fingers itched for the binding of one of his own tomes.
The library was a mammoth castle of a building, spires and giant stone blocks giving it the impression of age though it was relatively new. It settled in around Robin like an old friend, a comforting quiet as he stepped indoors. He stepped first to the computer area and opened up the catalogue.
A few quick searches found what he needed. He printed out the slips of paper and approached the front desk.
The student there regarded him with a disinterested sigh and reached out her hand. Robin gave her the slip. She ran them through the scanner.
"I'm okay with going back into the stacks myself and finding it," Robin said. "I'm comfortable enough locating items."
The girl shook her head. "Apparently some nerds broke in and used it for some kind of dnd larp game, so it's a mess. We're not allowing students in for the time being."
Robin's brow furrowed.
She rolled her eyes. "It's not a big deal. I'll just send a quick pic of this to one of the guys in the cleanup crew. He can grab it for you." She pulled out her phone and snapped a few pictures and sent them along. Then she tugged a second page from the printer and scooted it toward him. "I just need you to sign this stating that you understand reference materials are not to be removed from the library. You'll need to leave your student ID with us until you return it."
Robin scribbled a signature on the line, pulled out his wallet, and slid the ID toward her. He drummed his fingers on the counter and stood off to the side, allowing the student to sort through the books left in the return bin.
"It may be a while," the student said, looking up at him. She jabbed a pen toward some of the tables near the double doors leading to the stacks. "If you wait there, the guy will bring them to you."
"Right," Robin said, ducking his head in apology. He made his way to the table and allowed his head to thunk down. He'd been out of the house for a total of an hour, and he already felt wiped. "Don't fall asleep," he told himself. He'd need to pull another couple of hours worth of research out of his ass before he could go home.
He heard laughter ring out from the stacks followed by a thud.
Then a voice rang out. "Oh hey, look at this book I just had to pull. This shit is wild--"
A second answered. "Let me see--"
A third chimed in with a laugh.
The hair on Robin's nape rose. His body crackled with electric pulse.
"Hey, check out the abstract--Dude, is that where your name comes from, you think?"
The third finally spoke. "Maybe? I've never seen my name used in anything else like that."
That voice.
The whole of Robin's body seethed with energy. His heart leapt into his throat.
"Not a very common name--is it."
Robin scrambled to his feet.
"Maybe I'll read it next after this guy. I'm curious!"
"Yea--wait, there's two more, let's hurry up and pull those too--"
"Chrom..." Robin choked. He stared at the door like a deer caught in the headlights.
And he bolted.