Work Text:
Bakugou Katsuki barely remembers the day it happened.
They rode the same train to school in the mornings. They always have. The train was packed with adults heading off to work and kids going to school. He and Deku were just among the many others there trying to get where they needed to go. They had to stand next to each other with the limited space in the train car they were in.
Katsuki remembered giving angry side glares towards the nerd. (He faintly remembers spying dark bruises around his neck but he didn't think much of it.) He hated that the nerd was standing so close, that the strangers around him were so close to him. He was used to keeping people at a distance because of the nature of his quirk. He knew the dangers and that his short temper didn't help him much in the long run. Though he couldn't do much of anything with the crowd. So he had settled with glaring at Izuku.
Izuku looked just as uncomfortable as he was. One hand was clutching tightly onto the support bar while the other held onto his mustard yellow backpack. He kept his head down and tried his best to ignore his angry stare.
It was a normal day. This was a daily occurrence. There wasn't anything different about that morning. They went through a few stops, some of the crowd and thinned out but there still wasn't enough seats and the majority still had to stand. They were heading for the next station when something happened. It could have been prevented if shit had gone down differently.
He remembers looking at the nerd again. He had said something insulting because he was bored. He doesn't remember what he actually said word for word. Though the insult made the nerd look up from the ground. His closed off green eyes looked up at him before flicking to something behind him.
He amazingly remembers how the nerds eyes widened at whatever was behind him. He thinks he remembers the fear that crossed those large dow eyes.
The next thing he remembered for sure was Izuku tackling him to the ground and grabbing ahold of the seats. A second later the train car was rolling, his hands instinctively grabbing ahold of the seats as well. He remembers glimpses of others being thrown around the car, flashes of light, people screaming, metal grinding against metal, sparks, the body that had tackled him to the ground shifting and suddenly disappearing, and a feeling of weightlessness for a moment before everything went black. When he came to the stench of smoke and blood assaulted his nose.
The coppery smell would forever haunt his mind. The burning feeling in his lungs as smoke filled the car snuffing out the little oxygen in the air. The images of limp bodies and the whimpering of pain from those that remained conscious. He remembers the throbbing in his arms, the odd angle of his left wrist, the painful brushing that was bound to appear all over him. His labored breathing as he tried getting unstuck from under the seat bench that got knocked loose. The stinging of the cuts he received from some of the shrapnel and broken glass.
He remembers looking around the destroyed train car. It's metal casing was twisted and bent as it laid on its side. It looked like they landed on top of a car if the raised portion of the train wreck was anything to go by. Support bars were either snapped or bent. Vareuse seats were broken and pining other people in various places. The windows were smashed and with the twisting of the train car itself.
(He remembers this part clearly. He wished he didn't but, life isn't fair and it shouldn't for him.)
His blood ran cold at the sight of Izuku. He laid about a yard away, pinned down half way out a shattered window by the train itself. His head was turned away from him but he could still see blood damping the curls on the back of his head. His uniform top torn and soaked in blood. One of his arms were twisted at an odd angle.
Just the sight of the nerd, so damaged by outside forces. Bleeding out and stuck while he himself couldn't reach him. It scared him, scared him beyond recognition as his mind raced.
He was dying in front of him. He couldn't hear past the ringing in his ears, he could see what had happened to the train to have them all like this. It was like that for what felt like an eternity to him.
He barely registered the side of the train car being torn open. He doesn't remember the hero's freeing people and dragging them out to the first responders.
He does remember struggle with the hero who unpined him. Though he was still too shocked at the time to care that the guy was helping him. He was occupied with keeping his eyes on Izuku and tracking were he was going.
When the bloody green head of hair left his sight. Was when it finally settled in his gut. The shock of being in the crash, the smells, the pain in his arms and wrists. Tears had fallen from his face at the realization he was alive and the nerd might not be.
(He couldn't possibly be alive. Not with a whole fucking train on him. Not with how blood and broken he looked.)
When his mother found him at the hospital. She hugged him and cried her eyes out. His father had hugged him and his mother. Thanking silently to whatever higher being up there for sparing his son. As Katsuki was smothered in his parents' arms. He couldn't help but think that Izuku wouldn't get a hug from his mother.
It was the next day that they found out what had happened.
It was a rouge purse snatcher with a giantifiing quirk. He was being chased and had been cornered on a train bridge. No one had been keeping track of the trains due to come through. Everyone too busy watching heroes as they were busy with the villain. The villain swiped at the train as it came toward him. It wouldn't have hurt him if he let the train hit him. But he was desperate to get away. So toppling over a train and having it fall off the bridge, crushing the cars below. Was his getaway plan.
There were seven cars and the train. Two were crushed, four were toppled over, and the last car received minimal damage. The train itself was used as a weapon against the heroes. When the villains get away plan backfired. The train had sustained the most damage.
It was something that shouldn't have happened but it did. There were over a hundred people still on the train. Many didn't make it out with minor injuries like him, most were left in critical condition, permanently disabled, and there were multiple deaths. The conductor in the train car for starters was dead. He knew that for sure. The others though… he didn't know.
He got away from the incident with a broken wrist, fractured ribs, and twisted limbs. He was in the hospital for a day and got one round of healing quirks before being discharged. With a reminder to take it easy and to not aggravate his still healing body.
He found out Izuku was still alive from his mother a few hours after he was dischargedl. The nerd was in intensive care but still alive. The nerd had to go through several surgery's in order for the doctors to save his life. He didn't know what to feel about the news. He knew it was good news that Izuku was alive, but he remembers his mother had a sad look in her eyes.
(She hadn't told him what they had to do to save Izuku.)
That day he may not entirely remember in full detail but he sure as hell remembers the day before.
There wasn't anything special that day. School was still stupid. The extras still yammering and being annoying. Izuku muttering under his breath and writing in that note book of his. Being praised for even daring to attempt to go to UA and just being awesome.
Though Sensi mentioned the nerd wanting to apply to UA to. He was angry at Izuku's choice. Angry that he dared challenge him for the glory of being the one to leave the school for UA.
He remembers what he said to the nerd after class. He remembers blowing up the seemingly unimportant notebook that ment alot to Deku. He remembers the beating he dished out alongside his supposed friends.
He remembers the last words he said to him that day...
"Take a swan dive off the roof and pray for a quirk in your next life." That's what he said. He had told the kid he had once considered a best friend. To go kill himself… He remembers his 'friends' rubbing their own salt into the mental wounds he made.
"Pathetic freak."
"No one would miss your useless quirkless ass."
"It's not like your contributing to anything by being alive."
"Maybe your mother would be happy to be ridden of such a burden."
He had stood by and watched as his best friend sense they were little was beaten and degraded by his own words and actions, by those that followed him. He watched as the nerd made small robots and gizmos for kids. Watch as he destroyed the unique toys in front of Izuku. Watch as he ripped and burned blueprints and notebooks. Watched as they melted and blew up in his palms and whatever remained was dropped in the nerds lap.
That was his past self. The him who didn't know what would happen the next day. He wouldn't know how truly wrong he was tell then.
Though that is neither here nor now. Cuase right now he was a having an estrstecil crisis over fucking flowers.
---
Bakugou Katsuki stood in front of the hospital doors clutching a bokay of flowers. It was a simple thing but it held daisies, Asphodels, Baby's breath, Campanulas, Coreopsis,and Daffodils. He stared down at the flowers in his hand before looking up at the hospital doors. He had spent all night looking up those flower meanings…. Daisies ment innocence and cheer, Asphodel was regrets, Baby’s breath meant pure of heart, Campanula was gratitude, Coreopsis ment always cheerful, Daffodils meant uncertainty and respect. All things he wished he could say to him in words. Though he was too much of a coward to say it aloud.
Just as he was a coward for only now coming to visit him. Three weeks after the incident. Only here because the school year was now over and the excuse of having too much homework or group projects were gone. He was finally standing here, in front of the hospital, alone...
He couldn't stop his hands from shaking.
He wasn't ready, he probably would never be ready. He didn't want to see the aftermath of what happened to him…. Didn't want to see the cost for Katsuki to walk free and relatively unharmed.
Giving a glance to his shaky hands he finally walked in. The receptionist was a kind woman and pointed him in the right direction. The walk to the room was a long one. The closer he got the more his mind portrayed him. Worst case scenarios were running through his head, probably being ran on the same nightmare fuel. That ran his dreams these nights.
He came to a stop at a door. The nameplate on the simple and plain wood read Izuku Midoriya. The name of the green haired boy that has been occupying his mind lately.
He took a shaky breath and opened the door. He was expecting Inko to be at his bedside, maybe balling her eyes out. Though she was nowhere to be seen. The chairs were empty and there was nothing in the room to tell its occupant that there were people waiting…
It was really sad actually. Though the lack of get well gifts wasn't what had him dropping the carefully made boakay to the floor. Made his jaw drop in surprise and of a horrible realization. He barely noted the tears that ran down his face.
There on the bed was Izuku Midoriya, Deku, his one and only true friend. The boy he grew up with sense the two were in diapers. The boy he abandoned and bullied for not having a unique and special power like everyone else.
That same boy was lying on the bed hooked up to an assortment of machines. He was practically mummified with all the bandages that were still wrapped around him. Though what got him covering his mouth and sobbing his eyes out was the fact he couldn't see the nerd’s legs. Where his feet should have stuck out from the blanket, nothing was there.
Carefully and slowly he picked back up the boakay and walked over to the bedside. Trying his best to ignore the tears that blurred his vision. He placed it in the provided vase. After giving the plants water, he grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the bed. He sat down and took a good long look at Izuku's face.
His eyes were a bit hollowed out and his skin was paler than normal. His freckles dusting his baby fat cheeks and the bridge of his nose. His lips were slightly parted. Allowing small shallow breaths to come from his lips fogging up the breathing mask over his face.
He had teased the nerd for his childish face and antics. Teased him for his cheerful smile and golden heart. Teased him for his dreams of becoming a hero. ( He had done more than just tease him for his dreams.)
With a shallow breath, he shankly grabbed hold of the small hand closest to him. He noted how small the nerds hand was compared to his. How seemingly fragile he looked like this…
The tears returned with a vengeance and he couldn't hold back a sob. He clutched the nerds hand and rested his head on the bed. Barring his face in the itchy fabric of the hospital sheats. Muffling his pathetic and ugly sobs.
Izuku shouldn't have saved him. He shouldn't be in this hospital bed with both his legs missing. Shouldn't be forced to sleep in order to heal. He should be awake, walking, talking, smiling. He should be home, helping his mother prepare dinner.
He should be mumbling in the back of the class about upcoming heroes. Should be hunched over his precious analysis notebook taking note of quirks that caught his eye. Taking them apart and making people uncomfortable with how a quirkless teen like him could be so smart. Should be coming up with ways to turn those quirks into inventions.
Katsuki couldn't help but blame himself for the accident. Blame his pride for Izuku's suffering. Blame his ignorance for Izuku's loneliness and forced isolation. He bullied him because of his own insecurities and shortcomings. Beat him to the ground because he was jealous of the nerd.
Though no one bothered to tell the blond boy it wasn’t his fault. It was simply an accident that shouldn't have ever happened.
Not that he would care what others thought. Katsuki was gonna blame himself tell Izuku woke up and maybe even some time after that. Cause there's no way he wasn't the cause for a lot of other things. Like the burn scars, the fist shaped bruises, not to mention a big player in the nerd degrading mental health.