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Peter was surprised when he found out that Miss Pepper Potts wanted to meet him in person. In the past she always made Happy call him when Morgan needed his inputs or a trip to zoo. Occasionally she would invite him to some events mostly calling him as an unofficial intern or temporary staff of Stark Industries. Though everything stopped after he moved to MIT. He was still invited to galas and charity events but they were few and far now.
Honestly, if Peter was true to himself he never did care about their welfare. There was too much in his plate. He was trying to survive on his own, fighting himself to survive the day and he had to stay away- dissociate himself from Stark family for his own sanity.
Afterwards Tony’s resurrection and subsequent dramas had entirely taken up his life. Now he have not one but ‘two’ people who love him. Two people who is dearer to him than anything. He would fight tooth and nail before anything happen to his Tony and Loki.
Thoughts were swirling in his mind after Miss Potts had called. He knew it was irrational but if Pepper really wanted Tony back, there was no competition about it. After all she was capable of running Stark Industries, one of the most powerful companies in the world and the former of wife of billionaire Tony Stark. He didn’t want to brood about it too much.
“Whatever has that phone done to you, beloved?” It was Loki’s voice that woke him out of his thoughts. Loki was casually leaning on the door with a smirk in his face as if challenging Peter to lie to him.
“Nothing I can’t take care of” Peter answered honestly but didn’t want to explain it. After all he didn’t even know why she wanted to meet him. No need to trouble the resident God who was equally fearful of abandonment issues.
Loki didn’t answer instead opted look at his lover. Something was clearly distressing the boy but well Peter was stubborn. Loki knew that prying out of him would only lead Peter to act against them and flee away in his suit. And he would pout endlessly. Rebellious stage, perhaps?
“I am not about to ask you what happened but if I hear you willing walked into danger, know that Anthony will not stand a chance against me. I will personally see to your punishments. Do you hear me?” Loki questioned his lover calmly.
Peter gulped in fear.
Xxxxxxxxxxx
Pepper had encountered a lot of powerful people in the past, that included a list of Presidents, Lieutenants, Tyrants, Extremis, some aliens, a purple villain but nothing made her frightened as what she was about to do. To meet Peter Parker. To speak with him. How many times she wanted to speak her heart out to him? To someone? But she was ashamed. Even now she feels like a child to this brave and innocent boy who is several years younger than him.
“Miss Potts, you are quiet. Should I come back some other time?” Peter asked nervously. He thought that the moment Pepper sees him she would demand Tony back but it’s been more than half an hour. She didn’t do anything but stare at him as if trying to solve a puzzle.
“No, no. It’s nothing. I was just sorting out things in my mind. Do you like the house?”
“Yes, ma’am. It’s nice and comfortable.”
Pepper sighed. Now is the time.
“Peter, I am getting married”.
“Oh” Peter didn’t know what to say to that. He knew that she was dating but Pepper was getting married and that too suddenly. “Congratulations, Ma’am” Peter tried to smile although it seemed strained.
“What? You have no questions about how I could move on so easily. Not less than a year that my husband passed away and now I am getting married? No opinion or accusations, nothing?” Pepper questioned sarcastically.
Ever since she had decided to open up about Dave and her relationship, she was constantly criticised. Her family had distanced from her. Her mother especially was against it. Her father had passed away when she was young but her mom never got remarried. Perhaps a woman of such sincerity couldn’t believe that her own daughter would move on so quickly. After all though her mother was never a fan of Tony she knew that they had history. Everyone knew. But she wanted to be happy while she can. Morality be damned.
“I don’t have to Ma’am. It’s your decision and I am happy for it.”
Pepper looked astounded and then sighed when she continued “You were always like that weren’t you? Never judging. Never angry. Never voicing your opinion even though it truly hurt you. I could have never stood looking at the person I love slipping away. Even that you did…” Pepper trailed staring outside the window.
Peter jerked back as if he suddenly felt naked. As if something he carried around for long was exposed. “Wha… what do you mean?”
Pepper smiled knowingly. Peter looked so vulnerable as if someone had emotionally torn him to pieces. “You loved Tony, didn’t you?”
“I… yes” Peter answered barely more than a whisper.
“I knew that the first time itself when I met you. There was wonder in your eyes. An admiration as if you are seeing the God in place of Tony. Tony for calling himself genius was at times truly dense. But I could see that you had no problem in playing the part of an intern.
I have never felt insecure when Tony’s fan showered him with gifts and adorations. Never felt too bothered by the one night stands that Tony found when we took breaks in our relationship. I knew that Tony needed to ground himself. Someone who can withstand his mood swings and intellectual. He needed a challenge. So of course I got scared when he found you.
He was fascinated by you. Admired you. After the encounter in Berlin all he could talk was about you. You were the only saviour in there. He was extremely proud of you. He would always say that there was no one who could understand his ‘language’ better than you.
He once jokingly told me that if he was younger he would have dated you. And you know that Tony often makes light hearted jokes out of serious topics. You see Peter, I had to keep him away from you.”
“What do you mean?” Peter asked confused.
Pepper laughed depreciatively “Remember how after Berlin Tony never called you? It was me. I told Tony that you were a high school kid – barely fourteen years old. Encouraging him and asking him to join avengers was reckless of him. I might have guilt tripped him about your injuries.”
“But it wasn’t Tony’s fault. Tony never forced me to join the fight. In fact he willingly agreed to make new suits to give me better protection.” Peter felt anger thinking that Tony was guilty about it.
“You think, I didn’t know? Tony was just like that. Someone who could be easily manipulated if his loved ones were in danger. Peter he really loved you, in his own way that will not hurt you by associating to him”.
“That’s why he never replied to my calls or feedbacks” Peter spoke to himself in realisation. Back then he was excited and prayed fervently that Tony would just pick up the call. Anything to hear his sound once.
“Well Tony always heard your replies and feed backs. It was like his sort of entertainment. He would be like ‘Look what Petey did today. He saved a cat’. And I would laugh to please him.
But then that vulture happened. It was like his wake up call. Tony realised that neither me nor happy would be able to help you at times when you were in danger. I wasn’t happy about it.
When he asked you to join avengers I really thought you would take upon the offer. But you had that wistful smile-like you were trying to hold back what you want to do. I was grateful when you refused. May be a bit surprised when Tony asked me to marry him. I didn’t even consider it as a proposal. But with Tony I would take what I could get.
Deep down I think I was really afraid of being alone. I didn’t know what to do if I let go of him. It was selfish of me. I knew we were not happy. But I had dreamt a life with him so long that I was afraid to let him go.”
Peter didn’t know what to say. What would he have done if the roles were reversed? He didn’t know whether he had the courage to lose Tony? Will he able to look at him loving another? He didn’t want to answer those questions. But Peter didn’t have to reply as Pepper continued with her monologue.
“When I think about the past, I think he never was mine, you know. We were married but at times I used to wonder if Morgan was not there will we be able to stick together? Tony was a mad man after you were gone. His first words when he made back to we Earth was that he lost the kid. There was an irrational jealousy and almost hatred in me. He was slowly losing himself. There were those never ending experiments, binges and sleepless days. So when Tony asked me whether he should help to bring back people, I couldn’t ask him not to do. I had already done the damage. Tony was no longer the man I knew. Without even my knowledge I was thinking about a life without him.
I knew that one way or other I would lose him. There was a constant fear of his death. Every time he flew for a mission, I would pray that he will come back. But then I knew that this time even if he defeated Thanos and made it out alive, I will lose him.
Tony loved you too much and I didn’t want to keep him away from you any longer. I was ready to give up the pretence that we loved each other. I made Tony unhappy for so long. I just wished that he could find some happiness that he could remember. I think I failed in that too” Pepper wiped the tears falling from her eyes. How long she had thought about speaking her heart out to the kid? How long will she have to carry the guilt?
“I know that you made Tony happy, Miss Potts. Tony really loved you. Giving you up was never an option. Maybe you were right. Maybe Tony did love me back then but it was never enough to hurt you. You told yourself Tony would never hurt someone he loves. There is no one above you and Morgan, Miss Potts. Tony would never throw you away for someone like me” Peter answered suddenly feeling his throat closing up.
“I guess we will never know, eh? Tony always tried to conceal his emotions in front of others. He only let himself see in front of me but the five years you were gone, he became adept at hiding his emotions- even to me. I guess it was easier to put blame on you than look at the fact that I didn’t know how to handle him. I wonder whether he would ever forgive me on moving on.”
‘This one is easy to answer’ Peter mused as he replied to Pepper-“I could assure you Miss Potts, Tony will never hate you for moving on. He might try to win you back but if he knew that your happiness lies in some other place, he would urge you to find it. He always wanted you to happy.”
“You think so?” Pepper asked weakly.
“I know so” Peter answered assertively earning a chuckle from Pepper.
“I am sorry that I caused you grief. I am sorry that I never looked at how you were doing. For so long I was unhappy that I projected it on you. I can never apologize enough for my behaviour”.
“We are all humans, Miss Potts. And that means we can’t always do the right thing. If Tony thought about you both, he would have never gone back to help us. But he did. I know that you think I will never do anything selfish. But I can assure you, if Tony is with me now, I would never give him up. No amount of persuasion would have let me lose him. So it’s okay to move on. There is no agenda or strict line saying that one should cling to the past. We only have one life. There is no point in feeling guilt about past or present. I truly am happy for you.”
They didn’t know what to talk after that. It was a lot to take in for both of them.
“I hope you will find happiness too, Peter” Pepper spoke while walking him back to the front.
“I think I did” Peter answered feeling a little shy.
“You did?”
“Yes.”
“Will I be able to meet her?”
“You will be able to meet ‘them’. But perhaps later” he replied smiling.
“Them?”
“Yes, two guys. It’s complicated” Peter answered rubbing his neck awkwardly.
“Bring them to my wedding. Will you?” Pepper was amused. Give it to Peter to find the most complicated relationships she have ever seen.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes of course, Peter”.
“I will ask them then” Peter replied smiling.
“You do that Mr Peter Parker. See you soon.”
“You too” with that Peter swung back to his lovers who will no doubt be eagerly waiting for his arrival.