Chapter Text
John walked into 221B with hands full of groceries, “Sherlock-” John cut himself off when he saw the detective staring at the TV with actual interest, “Please don’t tell me there’s another serial killer out and about.”
“No,” Sherlock stated, “New York is under attack by aliens,” John went wide eyed, “And apparently Norse Mythology is real.”
John stiffened and dropped the groceries hurrying to Sherlock’s side, staring at the TV. His eyes darkened, “Sherlock,” he said calmly, “If I said I needed to make a trip, would you want to come?”
“What?” Sherlock looked at John confused, “John, if you’re wanting to go to New York, not even Mycroft would be able to-”
“Would you want to come?” John snapped.
“Err…yes,” Sherlock stated.
John grabbed Sherlock’s shoulder, “Then I’m about to break your Mind Palace, Love,” he stated.
“Wha-” Sherlock’s question was never finished because the two were suddenly gone.
Mrs. Hudson came up with tea and blinked, “Boys?” she questioned, confused then looking at the groceries on the ground.
New York was in complete chaos. Aliens. Magic. Gods. Nothing made sense. But the giant light beaming down onto Stark Tower caught everyone’s attention, “Oh what now?!” Tony yelled from the circle he and his newly formed team somehow formed.
“THOR AND LOKI ODINSON!” a voice echoed across all of New York and everything became dead silent.
Well, dead silent until Thor whimpered, “That your dad, Pointbreak?” Tony questioned.
“Worse,” Thor stated, “My Uncle Vé.”
“Get your asses up here!” Vé yelled, “You have three seconds!”
Thor went wide eyed but didn’t move within the timeframe given. All of the Avengers were suddenly on the rooftop. Thor gulped, “Hello…Uncle,” Thor stared.
Vé was John Watson. And he was pissed. He glared and crossed his arms, “Where’s your brother, Thor?” he questioned.
“Uh…” Thor said, honestly debating in giving his brother away.
“Sherlock, away from the edge of the building,” John said without moving his eyes away from his nephew, “You’re not allowed to jump off the edge again.”
Sherlock looked at John, “You…”
“I’ll explain later,” John stated, “And welcome to how everyone else feels, Love.”
Sherlock huffed, but walked back to John’s side, “Thor…” John’s voice held warning, “Where is your brother?”
Thor bit his lip, “Somewhere out there,” Clint answered, pointing to the still dead silent and frozen New York.
“Thank you, Thor’s friend,” John glared at Thor.
Thor gulped and fidgeted with Mjolnir. John turned to New York, “Loki! You have three seconds!” he called.
All the Avengers, including Hulk, glanced at each other. John snapped his fingers and Loki was suddenly beside his brother. Loki glared and went to move, but was stuck, “What?!”
John hummed, “Thor, Mjolnir,” John held his hand out to the blonde.
Thor went wide eyed, “But, Uncle-”
“Do you want to try my patience for a fourth time, Nephew?” John glared.
Thor looked down and handed his hammer to his uncle. John took it easily, “Eyes up,” Thor did so, “Now…” John tossed the hammer once before smacking his other nephew in the head with it, sending him flying into Stark Tower, “Was that so hard?”
Sherlock, Thor, and The Avengers were slack-jawed, “Um…” Thor said, “Why…?”
John raised an eyebrow, “Thor,” John held his forehead with the hand not holding Mjolnir, “I love you, I truly do, but you did not get your mother’s brain. What color are your brother’s eyes?”
“Green,” Thor said instantly.
“Yes…now, what color were your brother’s eyes just now?” John asked.
Thor opened his mouth, “And it’s safe to assume they were not green,” Sherlock stated.
Thor made a face, “Uh…” he said.
“Blue,” Natasha stated, “They were a bright, glowing, blue.”
“Thank you Thor’s other friend,” John said, “I will learn all your names later. Now, Thor, why in heaven’s name did you, for once in your life, not hit the problem with your hammer !”
Thor winced and fidgeted, “I…wanted to try a different approach?”
John raised an eyebrow, “A different approach?” John deadpanned, “Really now? Did my brother tell you to do that?”
“He…” Thor suddenly blushed, “…Told me to do what I do best…” he sagged.
John crossed his arms with Mjolnir still in his hand, “You have literally been trying to hit your brother with your hammer since you got it,” John stated.
Thor winced, “I didn’t-” Thor cut himself off when John held his hand up.
“We will discuss this later,” John glared, “For now,” John held Mjolnir to Thor, “Clean up your mess,” Thor winced, but took his hammer, “Then you, your friends, and probably whatever government higher up invites themselves will bring yourselves and the Tesseract to my house. Am I understood, Thor?”
“But-” John sent a look at his nephew, “Yes Uncle…”
John turned and grabbed Loki, “Sherlock, we’re going home,” he said as he carried his mentally abused nephew.
Sherlock looked at Loki, “Is he alright?” he asked.
“I’ll know when we’re home,” John stated, “You have thirty minutes Thor. Am I understood?”
“Yes, Uncle,” Thor said.
John nodded and left with Sherlock in a bright white light. Thor whined, “I hate when Uncle is mad,” he stated.
“You literally just had to smack your brother?” Tony asked, “I may be an only child, but I’m pretty sure siblings are always yelling and hitting each other.”
“So…Loki was under the same thing as Barton?” Natasha asked.
Screaming was suddenly heard, “Shit!” Tony flew down, “Someone hit Play!”
“Language!” Steve yelled before jumping off the roof.
Hulk jumped on an Alien Whale and began to smash. Clint and Natasha glanced at each other. Natasha jumped on an alien hoverboard as it went by and threw said alien off it, “Get the Tesseract,” Clint said to Thor as he aimed an arrow.
“Right…” Thor said before muttering things about Uncle Vé and Loki favoritism.