Work Text:
Two knights stood on the walls of Jerusalem, looking down at the bustling streets of pale stone. From where they stood they could see the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in all its yellowing and crumbly majesty. The eastern sun was like a wheel of fire above and they were both sweating heavily in their metal armour.
“I must say, I’m quite disappointed,” said the first, Arthur. “It is the Holy City, of course, but it’s so…”
“Small?” suggested Francis, his companion. “Crowded? Stinking of donkey shit?”
“Yes, if you must put it so bluntly.” Arthur sighed. “But since we’ve come all the way, we should get the most out of our time here, at least.”
“Well,” Francis said, squinting against the sun. “Shall we go find a brothel?” He didn’t sound enthusiastic.
Arthur looked at him. “To be frank, Francis, I’d much rather spend the night with you.”
Francis gasped. “Really, Arthur?” he asked, voice full of hope.
“Really.” Arthur took his gauntleted hand with his own. He took a deep breath. “We joined this pilgrimage because neither of us had anything better to do, and it turned out to be a horrible and difficult journey. But your presence gave me strength. You were the light of my days, Francis. Little by little, I realised that I was in love with you. And loving you cannot be a sin, for you’re so beautiful that you must be an angel of God.”
Francis, who had been listening with a dreamy expression, stirred suddenly and frowned. “What? No, I’m just a regular human.”
“Then I’ll gladly go to hell for you,” Arthur said passionately.
“Oh, Arthur,” Francis said weakly. “Me too.”
They leaned into each other, eyes half-lidded, lips parted and expectant. Then their helmet visors banged together with a loud clank and their heads shot backwards.
“Ugh, fuck!” Arthur yelled, clutching at his head.
“Merde!” Francis echoed. He removed his helmet and put it down on the wall ledge. Then he helped Arthur take off his own. “Come here, you idiot.”
They kissed with all the hunger that had built up over six months of travel. Francis tried to circle Arthur’s waist with his arms, but there was too much armour in the way. “Please, let’s find a room,” he said, panting.
“Yes, take me to bed,” Arthur whispered.
They started down the stairs leading into the city, holding hands. Their helmets remained on the wall, to be tossed over the edge by any careless passer-by, down to the mountain-cliffs below. But they didn’t notice, for they were too absorbed in their own little world.