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It’s like the world was out to get him. Eliott never quite knew how he got himself in these situations but here he was with his best friend Lucas Lallemant talking about kissing. Well Lucas wasn’t just Eliott’s best friend. He was also the boy Eliott was in love with for 7 years and counting. So how he got himself in this predicament, casually talking about kisses and people they ‘liked’ was beyond him, because quite truly the only person Eliott wanted was the boy right in front of him.
Lucas was his best friend since they were kids. They did everything together. Bad haircuts and fashion choices. Late night conversations about life, and endless inside jokes. Watching films until they fell asleep on the living room floor. One time, Eliott had proposed to Lucas with a ring pop, and Lucas had promptly agreed. Eliott had thought Lucas was serious, that he might actually want to marry him one day. But then Lucas had started kissing girls at parties 3 years later, and any hope that Lucas would love him back was diminished.
“I can’t believe you’ve never had your first kiss yet Eliott.” Lucas said laughing slightly. “I mean you’re 2 years older than me and I’ve kissed loads of people.”
Don’t remind me, Eliott thought to himself. It was torture everytime Lucas kissed someone because he would either kiss someone right in front of him or talk about that person nonstop for a few days afterwards. Lucas had kissed girls until he realized he was gay and soon he was making out with guys too. Which was worse in Eliott's opinion, knowing Eliott still wasn’t the person Lucas wanted to be with. If only Lucas knew how much he longed to be the guy Lucas made out with, even for just one night.
“I don’t know, I just-” Eliott started.
“-don’t want to get attached to someone and hurt them somehow with your bipolar disorder, I know.” Lucas interrupted. Lucas looked over at Eliott his eyes suddenly soft. “But Eliott, you deserve love. You deserve the best love ever, and I don’t want you to miss out on that.”
Lucas was right to a certain extent because he knew Eliott. Eliott didn’t want to hurt anyone with his bipolar disorder and he was deathly afraid of being abandoned. Not everyone was willing to deal with his mental illness, he knew that. He just-
“I won’t. Miss out on that, I mean. Besides I have you.” Eliott said softly.
Lucas punched him in the shoulder, “cheesy as fuck.” but he was smiling a light blush covering his cheeks.
“Well, how do you kiss?” Eliott found himself asking, immediately regretting asking.
Lucas didn’t find it weird. He just shrugged nonchalantly. “To be a good kisser it's not just about the kiss. It’s like the buildup, making them want you. You tease them just enough that you know they want you and you want them back. Looking into their eyes and glancing at their lips on occasion and back in their eyes You could even goes as far as whispering something in their ear and hearing them gasp. Then you lean in-”
Eliott has to take a hard breath, trying not to imagine what Lucas was saying happening to him. But he couldn’t help but picture, Lucas teasing him until he Eliott was desperate. But that would never happen. Lucas was his friend, nothing more no matter how much he wished it would be something more.
“-and brush your lips against theirs softly, so softly that they barely feel it. It drives them crazy and then you pull back slightly and look into their eyes again making sure it’s consensual. And then lean back in to brush your lips against theirs again, making them want you so much that they feel tempted to take control and have their way with you themselves. Once you’ve teased them enough, well…” Lucas voice was getting lower and huskier.
Eliott was trying to keep his breathing under control but he wasn’t sure how well it was working. He was getting turned on, it was stupid. Getting turned on talking about kissing. Who does that? Him apparently. He has to close his eyes for a brief second to get himself under control. If Lucas notices anything, he doesn’t mention it.
“Then you let them take control for a little bit to gauge what they like. What makes them melt against you. And then...you’re kissing, and their lips are warm and soft. And if you feel comfortable enough you can lick their lips pulling at their hair softly. And if they’re okay with it you lick softly at the top of their mouth because its a sensitive spot and it makes them come undone…”
Eliott isn’t sure he’s ever been more desperate for a story to be over so soon or for it to continue, because now Lucas is looking at him holding his gaze intensely.
“-And then you explore each other and, it’s uh- its great.” Lucas says killing the mood, expression unreadable plopping back down on the bed avoiding Eliott's eyes.
Elliott's blushing now. He doesn’t know what to do, he’s never done anything as sensual as what had just happened with Lucas just now. And they didn’t even do anything, Lucas literally just talked. God that boy didn’t know what he was doing to Eliott. They lay parallel to each other on the bed the movie playing on the laptop between them going unnoticed for 5 minutes when Eliott decides he wants to kiss Lucas.
And then he’s kissing him, and he doesn’t really know how he got there but he’s holding Lucas’s face in his hands and pressing a desperate kiss to Lucas’s mouth. Lucas responds immediately, kissing him back with equal passion and the Eliott breaks away to look at Lucas’s flushed face. He’s wearing an expression that screams ‘ come back .’
“Like that?” Eliott asks nervously, what he just did dawning on him.
“Like what?” Lucas says a bit breathlessly.
“Is that how you kiss?”
“Yes, but you do it better.” Lucas says pulling Eliott back on him and tangling his fingers through Eliott's hair.
They lay there for about half an hour before Eliott pulls back, unable to believe that what was happening was real. “God, Lucas I wanted to do that for so long.” He whispers into Lucas’s ear.
Lucas shivers. “I wouldn’t have minded you know if you did it earlier.” he says smirking slightly but then his expression goes soft. “I’ve never been kissed like that before.”
“Well, it is the Eliott experience.” Eliott says causing Lucas to laugh, and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to kiss.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t think you liked me like that, and I was just trying to find someone who could make me feel something like what you make me feel. But it never happened.” Lucas confesses blushing softly. “I thought you thought of me as your brother…”
“Are you crazy? I only ever wanted to be with you. I even proposed to you when we were little but then you started kissing other people.” Eliott says laughing.
“You remember that?”
“Of course I do.” Eliott wraps Lucas in a hug breathing him in. “We’re both idiots you know, we could’ve been dating for years now.”
“You’re my idiot.” Lucas whispers into Elliott's hoodie.
His idiot . That sounded good to him.