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i.
minhee first confesses to jungmo on valentine’s day. minhee is a high school sophomore and jungmo is a senior. minhee thinks it’s the perfect day- the cherry blossom trees outside the school courtyard are in full bloom, the sun is shining bright, and when minhee sees jungmo sitting outside by himself admiring the full beauty of the city below he can’t help but spill his heart out. he just had to say something.
minhee walks towards the senior with shaking hands and a fast-beating heart, picking at the loose threads at the bottom of his school uniform. when minhee takes a seat next to jungmo, the older boy smiles at him but says nothing. god, what it was like to be in love!
without much fanfare, minhee just tells jungmo. hey, i love you, he says, eyes staring not at the boy seated right next to him but rather up at the beautiful pink flowers that decorate the sky. the younger boy almost stands up, finding tears starting to trail down his cheeks, yet a soft, gentle hand reaches out and steadies him. when minhee looks back at jungmo, he’s greeted with a caring smile. jungmo was always like that, tender and kind.
jungmo looks at minhee with such warmth that minhee starts to cry again, not caring if anyone were to see them. what had he done to deserve such compassion from the person he loved?
jungmo reaches out to wipe away some of the tears that stain minhee’s face, chiding minhee to not cry. it hurts to see you like this, he finally says after a while, looking deep in thought. i hate seeing you cry, it’s just not like you.
minhee has lost hope by this point. his confession had been for nothing. yet, in a split second, jungmo gently grabs minhee’s chin and guides him directly to face him. hey, he whispers, i love you too. jungmo leans in and presses one small kiss against minhee’s lips. when jungmo pulls away, minhee’s eyes are still closed. he wishes that the moment would last forever.
after the elder leaves and minhee is alone, he touches his lips, lovesick. his first kiss, stolen by the one that he loved.
ii.
when jungmo is twenty-one and minhee is nineteen, they both go out drinking. it’s an inherently bad idea, but minhee is graduating high school and jungmo wants to celebrate. they have not dated once, yet there has always been tension between the two. every moment they spend together is dedicated to tip-toeing around the subject of love- yet they both hate it. when the two finally see each other at the dingy bar near the edge of town after months of absence, they both fall in love yet again. and how could they not? it felt almost like a reflex to them now.
minhee is only two drinks in (i don’t drink often, he slurs while leaning against jungmo’s shoulder, a drink in one hand and his phone in the other) and he starts to falter, relying mostly on the support of jungmo and the bar counter. jungmo, more mature and a more experienced drinker, finds himself calling for a cab and taking minhee back to his home. minhee refuses in the cab, stating in a delirious state that he will only go home with jungmo. after all, it’s the least he can do for a friend he hasn’t seen in months.
jungmo, too infatuated to say no, complies. he lives in a small apartment by himself. he hasn’t had many visitors in the past few days- perhaps now is the time for another.
the younger boy struggles to exit the cab but finally does, cheeks red with intoxication and eyes closed in such a peaceful way that jungmo almost feels bad for not taking him home. as soon as jungmo unlocks the door, minhee finds his way to the other’s bed and plops down, arms and legs splayed sporadically across the sheets. jungmo groans when he sees this, well, he sighs, it wasn’t like i was going to make it again.
before jungmo walks out the room to get a glass of water, minhee pulls him down onto the mattress with unknown strength, letting their bodies clash so that jungmo is now situated on top of minhee. hyung, he murmurs into the crook of jungmo’s neck, why don’t you just kiss me?
jungmo feels his cheeks heat up and unsteadily loosens his tie, unsure of what to do. giving away to one deep breath, jungmo leans down and plants a quick peck onto minhee’s cheek. this does not satisfy the younger, however, who now seems more alert. kiss me on the lips, minhee says once more, voice hoarse. jungmo cannot take it anymore- he is simply too in love with the low tone of the younger’s voice. almost aggressively, jungmo presses his body against minhee’s and swoops down to slot his lips with minhee’s, tugging at the sweat-soaked shirt that minhee wears. when the two finally separate, jungmo’s hair is a mess and minhee is missing his shirt. the two don’t look at each other. everything seems perfect.
iii.
out of college and moving on with their lives, jungmo and minhee don’t see each other for years. they are in their late twenties and may have forgotten about each other. they want to forget about each other, at least. the thoughts of their sweet romance still lingers in the air- on blind dates, tinder scrolls, or just late nights when one cannot sleep for indescribable reasons. when jungmo tries to sleep on one of those nights, he feels his chest tighten and cannot bear to think any longer. a dose of sleeping medication and he feels fine. it doesn’t feel fine to mask the pain of love with drugs, however.
they finally see each other once again when their mutual friend, wonjin, sets them up on a blind date. wonjin doesn’t realise that the two have known each other in the past and how much they have craved to see the other one last time. it doesn’t take long for the two to reconnect over their dinner of pasta and cheap wine. minhee thinks that jungmo has turned into such a handsome man. jungmo thinks that minhee still looks as beautiful as ever.
they both argue as to who should pay the check with the final decision being that they should split it but jungmo should pay tips since he’s the eldest. they laugh as they walk down the street together, hand in hand as they recount stories of their jobs. jungmo works as a director of marketing for a major airline, while minhee works as a ballet teacher in a prominent studio in downtown seoul. before they are supposed to part, minhee gets an idea. they book a hotel room on whim and struggle to get inside the room before they both rip each other’s clothes off. jungmo complains that it’s hot, hence why he throws off his suit shirt. minhee teases that it’s the middle of spring, there’s no reason to be.
jungmo relishes in the feeling of minhee trailing kisses down his forehead, to his nose, his eyelids, his cheeks, and eventually, his neck and collarbone. over the years it seems that minhee has gotten more experienced with this and jungmo feels a pang of jealousy over the unknown people that had given minhee such insight. jungmo grabs a hold of minhee’s neck and pulls him closer, sucking and biting down onto the younger’s neck in order to decorate his pale skin with purple bruises that blossom like the cherry blossoms did when they had first fallen in love.
minhee gasps. it hurts, but he loves it. whimpering against the side of jungmo’s head, the two finally look into each other’s eyes. how had they both survived, longing for each other for so long? desperately, minhee clashes their lips together, groaning against the other when jungmo bites down on his lower lip. perhaps minhee finds this the best night of his life.
iv.
jungmo wakes up first in the loft, slowly opening his eyes to greet the sun that spills onto the wood floor. ever since he had been promoted to a much higher position as director of the entire board, there was more time to get ready in the morning- more time to spend with his husband.
when jungmo looks to his side and sees minhee sleeping peacefully, he smiles. a few stray hairs cover his eyes, which jungmo gently brushes away to see his full face. it’s times like these where jungmo is thankful for all the troubles in his life that has led him to this point. if not for the millions of hardships and errors that he had gone through, would he even be there today? jungmo was thankful.
checking the clock next to the bed, it was around the time that minhee would also wake up for work, teaching the students of seoul’s premiere ballet company. yet, as minutes pass by and jungmo intently studied the lovely features of his lover, the younger still did not wake up. grinning to himself, jungmo leans down and places a lazy kiss onto minhee’s lips, not caring whether or not minhee’s lips are chapped and that he had yet to stir awake. unable to resist, jungmo continues to place secret kisses along minhee’s jawline, taking the utmost care in each one. finally, after a single kiss on his cheek, minhee awakes with fluttering eyelashes and a slight yawn. stretching in his spot on the bed, minhee rolls onto his side to get a better view of jungmo.
hey, i love you so much, minhee finally whispers, moving himself closer to the elder. they lock hands.
hey, i love you so much too, jungmo replies, cupping minhee’s cheeks and kisses him one more time.