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Dana laid awake, unable to get her mind to switch off. She had spent some time trying to read, then scrolling through her phone. None of it worked, she still couldn’t stop thinking about the case or about Maggie.
It was an internal battle in her head, between right and wrong, between professional and personal.
She felt Jubal shift in bed beside her, and she almost wanted to laugh; here she was thinking about the personal and professional lines at work while sleeping next to the assistant special agent in change.
She felt him shift some more before she heard his voice, not being able to see him in her darkened bedroom.
“Can’t sleep?” Jubal asked her in a voice that was full of sleep.
“No,” Dana replied in a whisper, rolling onto her side to face him, despite not being able to see his face.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Jubal asked.
Dana smiled, thinking about it for a moment. She did, if she was being honest, but she didn’t think her feelings about their current case were pillow talk material.
“You should go back to sleep, I’ll be okay,” She told him instead.
Jubal didn’t seem to want to accept that answer, so instead Dana heard him roll over and try to find the lamp switch. Both of them squinted a little at the sudden bright light when Jubal turned the lamp on, illuminating the room and the clock on the wall which read 2:45.
After a moment of letting their eyes adjust, and Jubal tuning back to face her, Dana started talking.
“I don’t know what to do about this case.”
It was unusual for Dana to admit it. She often felt in two minds about things, and she was in no way an expert or above anyone else, but it was very rare she shared her feelings with other people, more so when that person happened to be both her lover and her second in command.
“In what respect?” Jubal asked.
She sighed, shrugging a little, “Every respect. Maggie is way to close to this, but I also know how much she needs closure. She needs to know what happened to Jason.”
Jubal thought for a moment, reaching out to take her hand, interlinking their fingers.
“You have to do what’s right for the team, and what is in the best interest of the JOC. It’s your job to be the decision maker, to say what we can and cannot do, and all of it has to be in line with protocol and in the best interest of every agent, victim, suspect and witness that the case involves.”
Jubal could see that Dana was still in two minds.
“You,” he began, raising his hand to touch her cheek, “are an amazing boss, and have yet to make a bad call. Trust your instincts, I’ve read your file and I’ve heard the stories, you haven’t been wrong yet.”
Dana shook her head, “This is different, it feels different. I know that I should pull her off this case she is too close - she could lose her job, but a part of me knows that she needs this; she needs closure.”
“Why is it different?” Jubal asked, his voice genuine and kind.
Dana rolled onto her back looking up at the ceiling again. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I want her to have closure?”
She felt Jubal shift beside her again, placing a light kiss on her bare shoulder, before draping his arm over her stomach.
“So many people have begged me to get them closure, to find out who killed the people they love, find out who hurt them, who did it, and for the last thirty years I have done that, because it has been the logical thing to do, but Maggie, she’s an agent,”
Dana stopped again, she honestly wanted to scream at herself. “I need to take her off this case, I know I do but, I don’t know if I can do that to her personally.”
“You know what you need to do, and no one will think any differently of you for doing it. Maggie may be upset or frustrated, but underneath all of that I think she will understand that you are doing your job.”
Dana wanted to believe that would be true, but she knew that it may not turn out like that.
“I need to take her off the case,” It was more for herself than Jubal, but she needed to say it out loud.
“Then that’s what you will do, but in a few hours when we’ve both had a bit more sleep.” Jubal said as he rolled over, clicking the light out.
Dana didn’t reply, instead she laid there, letting Jubal wrap his arms around her, in a hope that the both of them would eventually fall to sleep.
She knew in her head she was making the right decision, but in her heart, it still felt wrong.