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Steve was done.
Just, done.
He had lost.
He had lost Natasha.
He had lost…Tony.
Damnit, Tony.
It wasn’t supposed to be that way.
It was not supposed to be Tony, it was supposed to be Steve. He would have gladly done it. He would have worn that gauntlet, and died looking at…
God.
Putting his head in his hands, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the image of Tony’s half burnt face.
It wasn’t worth it.
God damnit.
No matter what he did though, he was brought back to the moment Tony collapsed in a heap, Friday letting Pepper know that there was no saving her husband.
Husband.
Steve grit his teeth even harder, the same ferocious jealousy clutched at his guts, making him feel shame so deep it almost choked him.
He had no right feeling that way at all.
Pepper didn’t deserve anything remotely close to that.
She had always been there for Tony.
When he wasn’t.
He was horrible.
Horrible teammate, and especially a horrible friend.
Who was he to even think romantic things about Tony Stark? The man he had beaten brutally, the man he lied to.
“No trust, liar.”
A ragged sob ripped through his larynx, and he stood up from the bed in the hotel room, grabbing the lamp beside the bed and hurling it at the adjacent wall.
This was his fault.
Sobbing even harder, he shoved his knuckles into his eyes, trying to hold himself together as best he could.
Suddenly, he felt his tears stop and he pulled his hands away from his eyes.
He could fix it.
He couldn’t help this timeline, but he could branch out the past into something better, something more deserving of the people they had lost.
“It is impossible.” Strange’s stoic voice pierced through him.
Steve knew that was a lie.
“No, it isn’t.” He leveled him with a Captain America stare.
Strange’s eyebrow merely raised,
Steve continued, “We both know it's not true, and we both know it was between Tony and me.”
Silence.
The blonde sighed, sitting down on the couch of the inner sanctum.
“I have to fix this. Tony, he, it wasn’t meant for him to make that decision, he has a family here!”
Stephen sighed then, running his fingers through his goatee.
“Captain. I know you think you can fix this, but you can’t. Tony knew the odds, it happened the way it was supposed to. Loathe as it is to say, but this was Tony’s destiny.”
The blonde took in the words and growled.
“Destiny? Bullshit.”
Stephen only stared at him.
“Let me tell you about destiny, Strange. It’s nonsense.”
Silence, but Steve was too fired up now to stop.
“I thought my destiny was to die in that airplane when I flew into the arctic. I could feel the ice encase me, and I knew then… that this was what I was made for. T-To do the things others couldn’t, to make the sacrifice play for those who shouldn’t have to.”
Silence.
“Tony shouldn’t have had to make that call, to lay himself on the line and sacrifice himself for all of us. For the 50% that I let down. And I did. It was my fault.”
Silence.
“I lied to him, for years about his parents, simply because I didn’t want-” Steve stopped talking, licking his lips, feeling his throat well up with emotion.
Strange raised his eyebrow.
“Because you didn’t want to choose, Captain.”
Steve whipped his head up to meet the sorcerers eyes, blushing a little bit at the insinuation.
“I never looked at Bucky that way. But, it didn’t matter. There still would have been a choice. And I couldn’t..”
Strange reached over and grabbed his tea cup, taking a long sip.
“When I first met Tony Stark, we talked about who could find Vision, who was the one person who could. And he said, Steve Rogers.”
Silence.
“Of course, I got a little irritated, because I knew, just by hearing him say your name, that there was no way he was involving you with this issue, there was no way he was calling you to involve you in the chaos that was about to ensue.”
Steve swallowed roughly.
“As you know, Tony didn’t even make that call. Bruce Banner did.”
Silence.
“I understand your personal views about sacrifice, Captain. But, has the thought that Tony knew you’d try to wear that gauntlet ever cross your mind?”
Steve’s eyes widened.
“He didn’t want to involve you, yet he carried that absurd flip phone around with him everywhere. I daresay he even had it when he was running with his fiancee, Ms. Potts.”
Silence.
“Steve.” Strange tried a calmer falsetto, a more understanding approach.
The Captain looked up at him, eyes filled with tears.
“Tony made that sacrifice play because he couldn’t watch you do it. And you are right, it was between him and you. But, I knew, he would never let that happen.”
Steve took in the words, feeling his heart thud slowly against his breast bone. Closing his eyes, he turned away the man, his eyes catching the hustle of the city.
After a few minutes of silence, Steve made up his mind.
“Well, in this timeline, we know what happens when Tony sacrifices his life. It’s my turn.”
Strange grit his teeth, the clenching of his jaw making quite clear his annoyance towards the blonde man.
“Look. I’m not here for your damn permission to go, I wanted to know if the same event would happen if it were me instead of Tony. And you’ve made it abundantly clear that that is the case.”
Turning, Steve moved to leave, but Stephen stopped him.
“You’re not using that watch. If you use it, it will put two Steve’s at that moment of the snap.”
Steve could handle that.
“We’ll use the time stone.”
Blue eyes connected with each other, and Steve felt a ripple.
Standing in front of Strange, Steve watched as the man grabbed the time stone out of his necklace, the yellow object floating between them, the brunettes arms working different tandems around them.
Suddenly, there was whirling vortexes around Steve, and he winced at the wind that whipped around his form.
“You have one last chance to back out of this, Captain.” Strange said to him, holding the vortex open.
Steve narrowed his eyes, walking towards his final destination.
Stopping just short of the swirling mass, he turned to the man.
“Thank you.”
Then stepped through.
Steve was in his outfit of the battle, shield battered and torn in half. Looking around, he noticed it was towards the end, minutes before Tony would be distracting Thanos and grabbing that damn gauntlet.
Ducking at the aliens that were flinging themselves at him, Steve was bounding towards the middle, eyeing the purple fucker.
There.
Tony was landing, he was making his way to Thanos.
Steve would get there first.
It was happening, the wind was picking up again, and Steve knew he had to distract the brunette from grabbing Thanos’s hand.
“Tony!” He screamed, running up a rock and jumping…
“I. am. inevitable."
Infamous last words, and Tony was descending on the purple asshole right after Steve wrapped his arms around the aliens waste, uppercutting him, watching as Tony made a grab at the gauntlet, but was swatted away roughly.
That was his in!
While Thanos swung at Tony, he had forgotten about Steve, who was hanging like a monkey off his waist.
Hooking his arm up, he fit both hands over Thanos arm and pulled, screaming as he did so.
It gave.
Falling back, he scrambled, holding the gauntlet.
“STEVE!”
The blonde looked up, watching as Tony shot his way.
Smiling, Steve jammed his hand inside the gauntlet, feeling fire and electricity race themselves through his limbs, chest and mind.
There was screaming.
“No!”
“Cap!”
Is this what it felt like for Tony? God, he could feel everything. He saw all the planets, knew every equation, understood all of the World's questions. He saw the dead, felt the living, every breath that was taken, every emotion felt.
Dread.
Terror.
Anguish.
Steve slowly smiled at the alien fucker, who had finally gotten that he no longer wore the gauntlet when he tried to snap.
“We…won.” He wheezed out, right before grabbing his right arm and snapping his fingers.
There was the screaming again. Dust flew around him, taking Thanos and his band of merry assholes with him to whatever hell there was.
Good.
Oh God, he was in pain.
There was so much pain.
Tony…is this what Tony went through?
God, he hoped not.
Smiling, he drug himself to the same spot that Tony had laid, gazing out towards the field.
His vision was blurry.
“Steve!” He heard the anguished yell, red and gold landing in front of him.
Tony.
The man looked a wreck.
He looked…
Beautiful.
And alive.
Exactly what Steve had wanted.
“Why did you do that, you stupid fuck!” Tony was yelling at him, trails of tears streaking his face.
Steve smirked, feeling another presence hover near him.
Bucky.
He was staring at Steve, tears trekking down his own face, then, after a second, a small smile was wedging itself in place. Kneeling, he reached out and clasped Steve’s shoulder.
“Till the end of the line, Stevie.”
Steve nodded, watching as Sam clutched Bucky’s shoulder, dark hand shaking.
Tony though, he was whimpering and shaking, eyes taking in Steve's broken body.
“Tony.” He tried, imploring the man to look at him, because the light around him was getting dimmer.
The brunette did look at him then, fear and hysteria etching his features.
“It was supposed to be me, idiot!” He snapped, hands now framing Steve’s face.
Steve smiled, nudging Tony's hand with his cheek.
He knew Pepper was there, but, her hand was on Tony’s shoulder, purple fingers trembling, trying to give the smaller man strength.
Everything was dimming significantly now.
“T-Tony. I’m sorry.” He mumbled, smiling again.
“It’s okay, Steve! We can, we can fix this. You’ll be okay! Just have to-have to-Rhodey! H-Help me carry him, okay? W-Wakanda has all kinds of shit that can help, way more advanced!”
Rhodey just stood there, looking at Tony sadly.
“Why the fuck are you standing there?! HELP ME!” He thundered, voice breaking with full on hysteria now.
“Tony.” Steve started, feeling everything get shaky.
The older male was talking a mile a minute, having Friday scan Steve’s vitals.
“Tony.” Peppers voice cut through.
“No! I’m not going to let him die. He isn’t dying because he had to lay on the wire! Because he had to be a self sacrificing idiot!”
Steve smiled, his chest getting heavier and heavier.
“I c-cut the wire, for you T-Tony. Couldn’t have you d-die for me. Not before I told you…I…love you.”
That was it, all he had left in him. The darkness had completely encompassed him, and at this point, he greeted it. Threw his arms around it, like a friend he was welcoming back.
There was a far off gasp and hands gripping his shoulders, fingers ripping into his suit, desperate screams calling his name, over and over, his form shaking back and forth.
“No! Steve! I love you too! Please, don’t go! Oh God! Steve!”
Using the last bit of strength, Steve squeezed Tony’s hand before his dropped to the earth, lifeless.
Tony’s POV:
No.
This wasn’t happening.
It was not supposed to happen this way!
“Steve?” Tony tried, shaking him, ragged sobs making there way out of his mouth, there was vague talking around him, but he didn’t hear it.
It was all muffled, the sky gray, the air gray, everything was gray and dull.
He knew.
He knew Steve was gone.
“Tony. Come on.” Pepper was urging him, gripping his shoulders and pulling at him.
“No! I can’t leave him here!” Tony sobbed, not letting go of the blonde’s kevlar suit.
“I will carry him, Anthony.” Came Thor’s voice, the taller man moving forward to kneel before Iron Man.
Tony didn’t care, his eyes were still trained on Steve’s pale face, the life gone out of his Irish skin.
His eyes were closed though, and they would never open again.
Those blue, blue eyes, he’d never seen them again.
And it was like a freight train hitting him.
The world around him started to spin, air sticking in his throat, and before he knew it, Tony was falling face first into the dirt, welcoming the darkness.
Steve looked around and realized where he was.
Tony’s lakehouse.
“Steve?”
That voice.
Natasha.
Turning swiftly, he saw half of her, then reached his arms out and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her against his chest.
“Nat. Oh God.” He cried into her two toned hair.
Feeling hands pat his back in comfort, his body wracked with sobs, murmuring apologies into her hair, closing his eyes to her familiar scent.
“Ease up, big guy. I’m okay. It’s okay.”
Steve sobbed even harder at that, laughing a little bit.
“Fuck. I missed you, Tash.” He said, trying to get himself back under control.
“Language.”
And his world stopped altogether.
Moving Natasha back a little bit, he looked in front of him, and there stood…
Tony.
He looked younger, hands stuffed in his pockets.
“Come here.” He cooed, holding his arms open.
Steve felt his face close up, lower lip trembling as he bum rushed the man, folding him so tightly into his arms, he thought he’d choke him.
“Easy there Joe Moe, I may be dead, but I still need breath.”
Steve couldn’t laugh, could only sob into Tony’s hair as he clutched the back of his head and rained kisses on his temple, mashing his eyes into his silky strands.
It could’ve been days, months, years for all Steve knew, whatever it was, it wasn’t enough.
“We saw what you did, Steve.” Natasha finally said, a little smirk tilting her lips up.
Steve sniffled, and moved back from Tony.
“It didn’t change our timeline.” Steve murmured, eyes not leaving Tony’s.
Natasha made a huffing sound.
“I had to make a world where Tony Stark was still in it. And he will be. He’ll get his life with Pepper, he’ll get to bond with Peter more, and watch Morgan grow.”
Tony smiled, closing his eyes
“And, what do you get, Steve?” Natasha mumbled, looking between the two men.
“Well, hopefully, if this place has music, I’ll finally get my dance.”
Tony grinned at him, moving towards him and taking his hand, Natasha’s smile spreading wide as well.
I’m home.
I can rest now.