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Jude; the praised one.
"I think these are cute," Mark says holding up a tiny little baby socks with dinosaurs on them. "Gary, look," Mark says, again grabbing the matching hat from the shelf. The hat is cuter, it even has scary teeth on it and it's the same green colour, it's also exactly the type of adorably useless accessories Mark loves buying. He attempts to grab the matching gloves as well with his free hand.
Gary turns his head around arching his eyebrows slightly; he puts down the baby monitor he was inspecting. "They are really cute," Gary smiles before he turns around again to look at the baby slings. He wants one. He thinks Mark is going to think that’s stupid. Or least pretend to think it's stupid. But it seems practical? And somehow bonding? He doesn't know if they need it. It can go on the maybe list. They need to sort out a car seat and get it fitted. They also need to pick out paint today.
Today is serious baby shopping day, they can't get distracted by silly things. Like very adorable tiny hats.
But Mark gasps. Gary turns back around and Mark is holding a newborn sized onesie that looks like a bunny. "Can we get this?" Mark says clutching it to his chest. It's really cute; it has a hood with little ears on it and everything. Gary’s mind instantly flashes to the baby snuggled up in Mark’s arms holding a carrot for Halloween. But they have already got two almost identical outfits.
"We already got the giraffe one and the panda one," Gary says very kindly. They also aren't supposed to be buying clothes today. They are doing important things today like paint and window fittings and baby monitors. He repeats it like mantra in his head.
"Please," Mark says stepping forward towards Gary, clutching his bunny onesie tightly like if he flinches it will be gone forever, "I could buy ten baby slings and it still wouldn't equal how much you've already spent at Fendi for the baby in the last few weeks."
"That's not true."
It's totally true.
"I've seen the packages," Gary replies quickly.
Mark may or may not have gone crazy the other day. He is just preparing, that's all. Do you know how exciting it is to actually be allowed to put things in the cart and press purchase instead of sadly exiting empty handed? He is so thankful he was able to sneak the baby Burberry boxes into the spare room without Gary knowing.
"They were all really important," Mark says diverting his gaze from Gary. He can't fail now.
“I don't think our baby needs a leather jacket, he won't fit it for years."
Mark frowns. "He might be a quicker grower."
"You know what? You’re right, the baby won’t need leather jackets anytime soon. That’s why we need bunny onesies," Mark says shoving it into Gary’s empty arms. Gary takes it with a frown. He can't say no, and once he says yes, he knows they are going to be leaving this shopping trip with everything they don't need. He stares at the fluffy grey baby outfit in his hands. It probably wouldn't hurt to get another one. It won't do any harm just buying a couple more outfits today.
(They leave the trip with five different dress up outfits for the baby, three blankets, multiple soft toys and one hooded towel. And possibly every animal themed item they can find.)
During the last eight months, they've not missed a doctor's appointment or birthing class, have attended three baby showers—they're not Gary's favourite, but Mark can't get enough of them—and have spent countless hours painting and prepping a nursery in what used to be the spare room. To think that their son's going to sleep in the room where the lads used to pass out after parties gives Gary pause and a bit of a laugh. Their lives have changed so much already. If he thinks about how much more they’re in for after today, he might collapse.
For some reason Mark sits on the floor cross legged while Gary tries to assemble up the crib. He isn't sure how that happened. Like putting up tents, assembling cribs and high chairs and car seats is not Gary’s type of fun. But for some reason Mark has a video camera and is watching instead of helping. And Gary is stuck doing all the work.
"I'm going to be honest," Gary says throwing the instruction booklet across the floor, "I give up. Just let me pay someone to do it—"
"No," Mark says shaking his head. "This is supposed to be a bonding experience. It's special like this."
"Mark, we could have paid for one already assembled!"
"No."
Gary picks the instruction booklet up again and throws it harder. It hits Mark on the shin and he laughs, not flinching and keeping the camera on Gary.
"I'm a millionaire—" Gary starts sarcastically before Mark laughs even harder.
"And you've got to do some manual labour through life, Barlow."
Gary looks at the half assembled 'thing' in front of him. It doesn't even begin to resemble anything. He looks back at Mark and down the camera lens, knowing all of this is being recorded and will be overplayed for the rest of his days.
"Hi baby, Daddy is a very silly man. I'm sorry if you spend your life without a bed, because he is too stubborn to let someone else do it or at least help me."
(Mark ends up doing most of it. Gary ends up trying to claim he did it. The video gets played to the point in which everyone knows the stupid story about the crib that Gary couldn't put up.)
Twenty inches, eight pounds.
It’s early fall when Mark and Gary’s baby comes into the world. A day when the leaves were falling down in sheets, making the world outside into a blur of orange and brown, and they were nervous, really nervous, is the thing. They forgot to lock the house, left the butter dish uncovered on the table where the dog could eat it, and the milk jug out on the counter.
Mark didn’t think there was anything more beautiful than just Gary. Pure Gary flooding his mind and veins, no distractions and no one else because no one else mattered. They were all just background filler. He didn’t see them anyway, he could spot Gary in a crowded room and he was the only thing he needed even in a stadium of thousands of people. It was true; he would cut his fingers to the bone, and split his sides in for Gary. He would have stood beside Gary in the photograph and Gary alone for the rest of his life and been content before this moment.
Gary has these giant hands and long fingers that are slightly trembling. The hospital room has been all dim light and pale shadows and the muffled sounds of a baby boy’s heart. It looks like home, warm and soft and deadly familiar like this has been played over a thousand times in Mark’s mind already. It's an uncanny familiar. He can see he is biting through his bottom lip and his eyes are sparkling so much they are threatening to flood and breach their banks at any given moment. It's like his happiness doesn't know how to stay contained.
Mark doesn’t have a mirror but it takes no genius to confirm he looks exactly the same. Possibly worse. He has a hand on his shoulder and one covering his mouth. And he is just doing this thing, this embarrassing thing where he can't stop smiling or even form words.
His heart is beating about a million times a second; it wants to jump out and escape to tell everyone about this unconditional desire that has over taken him. This new lease on life, this purpose and this flood of emotions for the people in front of him. It's scary how much he feels. He wasn't sure, or maybe he always was, that you could feel so much. It's a little bit scary how quickly someone can steal your heart.
He is beautiful. He is perfect, pink and dainty wrapped up tight in a blanket and in a homely embrace. Home, Mark thinks, home maybe has a new definition now. He has the smallest little wisps of blond hair and his eyes are firmly closed very contently snoozing, not noticing the ruckus he is causing out here and inside Mark’s chest.
And it’s then as Gary lets out a sob and kisses his forehead that he realises he has met someone who has the ability to make Gary look so much better. He looks and so much more alive and beautiful in Mark’s eyes, ‘cause God, he is holding Mark’s life and meaning in his hands. He didn't think his attention could ever be diverted from Gary by someone else. He was wrong. Jude could never simply be a part of the white noise. He is an illuminator, and he is so, so gone for him.
Two days later when they bring Jude home with them for the first time, Gary forces Mark to put him in the crib by their side—no, don’t actually bring him into the bed, Mark, Jesus, what if I roll over—and so he sleeps in his crib, wrapped up in a square of pale moonlight with his thumb in his mouth, the small swell of his belly filling out his baby blue babygrow.
That night, they don’t sleep at all.
There is something so electric about watching their baby breathe, about watching him blink and stir in his sleep, making little sounds like he’s just testing out his voice. His little hands fisted and sometimes reaching into the air like he’s grabbing for stars, and they feel so full of love that neither of them can take it.
Jude Barlow. Imagine that.
Skyler; protection, shelter.
He liked to pick names from the oddest places. It didn't matter if it was walking through a park ("Conner is nice isn't it?") or reading ("What about Alexander, like the two kings of Scotland?").
Gary picked out the name Skyler when they were flicking through photos once, a long time before he was born. He just smiled at an old picture of Mark and himself dressed up as Luke Skywalker in a Halloween party, “Skyler Barlow, I like that one.”
“Don’t even go there, we aren’t naming any of our child after a bloody fictional character.”
Gary sighs exasperated. “It's a different spelling, I've heard it. Besides, it's more than just that Mark, it’s an idea.”
It grew on Mark. That was the problem. He didn’t hate it. He kind of liked it. Which was a problem.
Twenty inches, seven pounds.
He arrives in the heart of a hurricane season, a paradox to his nature. He doesn’t cry when he's born. Doesn’t wail or make a sound or even lift his hand to wave a hello Papa, hello Daddy, I’m here!—nothing. He gives them nothing.
Gary panics almost instantly because newborns are supposed to cry, aren’t they? They’re supposed to wail their little hearts out; that’s how you know they’re alive. So why in God’s name isn’t Skyler screaming his lungs off? He's a Barlow, that’s in their genetic nature; they’re supposed to cry so hard you admit defeat in seconds.
They don’t get a minute to even gather together their senses before he's being taken away and Mark is looking up at Gary, drugged off his mind and ready to cry on Skyler's behalf. He looks pale and terrified, desperately squeezing at Gary's hand for what feels like forever.
It turns out that Skyler's just quiet, is all. Healthy, soft, and lets out the warmest little whimpers. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him, the nurses assure them almost ten times once he's brought back, clean and shiny and tiny as ever.
He's got all the right parts in all the right places, Gary makes sure, because he’s still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he's real. He sees angel blonde hair in an electric shock of fuzz and a pair of lips rosy and pouty already, just like him. And as Mark watches over Gary’s shoulder as their baby sleeps, his pink eyelids dusted in pale blue veins, Skyler opens his eyes for the first time, his stare didn’t have quite a colour yet, but he can see that one day, he’s going to have eyes all crystal blue. He’s going to have eyes that you can swim in—Mark thinks.
The next day Gary and Mark walk down the corridor holding hands with an over active five year-old. He has unruly straight blond hair, green eyes, is wearing a pair of tiny oxfords and is finally ready to meet his new best mate.
“You have to be very quiet Jude,” Gary says as he crouches down in front of him as they reach the door.
He nods, swinging back and forth on his tippy toes. “I can do that,” he says proudly. They do know he can do that but he also has the tendency to scream a lot when things excite him.
“Remember what we said, Skyler’s very small so we have to be very careful,” Mark says slowly. They have been over this about a million times in the last few months; he even has his own baby bear he likes to call brother. But he once threw it into a pool, so the nerves here are justified.
They have been trying to ease into the whole ‘You’re getting a sibling! Congrats!’ thing because everyone is always telling them how much of an only child Jude is. That isn't really their fault though, despite everyone's eye rolling when they say it, they don't spoil him. He is just loveable. Jude can wrap anyone around his finger, from a tour bus driver who lets him toot the horn as many times as he likes to producers and rock stars backstage at talk shows when he sweetly asks them if they have seen any cookies around.
Basically, Jude is the apple of everyone's eye. But he is going to have to get used to sharing.
He has been taking it relatively well, after a few weeks. It’s not like they worried he would hate his brother but he can be highly unpredictable. Hence the time he threw his baby bear into the hotel pool and cried when Gary fished it out, claiming the bear wanted to become a mermaid.
This is the real moment as they slowly creak open the door to reveal the room with the baby in. Jude covers his mouth with his hand to show how good he is being at being-quiet as he pads his feet across the tiled floor.
They carefully lead him over to the crib hand in hand, a nurse smiling fondly and stepping out of the way. Jude can’t see, he’s too small compared to the hospital basinet so Gary picks him up when he promises he won’t kick or squirm but he will hold on tight.
He lets out the sweetest yet quietest little noise of excitement when he meets his brother’s eyes for the first time and stretches out his hand as if to wave hello. It's like Jude can't believe Skyler is real, but to be honest neither can Gary and Mark.
Mark picks the newborn baby up gently trying his best not to stir him too much and lifts him to Jude’s eye line from his place on Gary’s hip. He looks a lot like Jude but with finer lighter hair.
“Jude, this is your brother Skyler,” Mark says, and his eyes are twinkling watching Jude’s face light up with joy as he keeps staring.
Gary takes his hand and lets him touch Jude’s tiny little fingers for a second, they curl around his thumb. Jude’s smile increases as he looks from the baby to his Daddy to his Papa.
“Skyl,-“ he tries confused. “Sky,” he says happily instead. “Hi,” he says, his eyes focused. “Hi brother.”
Pammy; honey, all sweetness.
Mark lied. Well, he didn't lie. It just took him a few more years to figure out he needed another baby. And some constantly nagging, pouting, and guilt tripping to get him one. The biggest argument being that a family of four was ‘too small’, which was apparently a bad thing. And that they had a zero girl ratio to boy ratio. And Jude really really wanted to be a proper big brother. Gary didn't actually need convincing at all but Mark worked hard nonetheless.
They painted the nursery a soft green, because they were both adamant of not pushing her into any sort of gender role. Gary had gone on a full rant about the way little girls were made into the things mother's crushed dreams were made of. They both agreed, Pammy should be her own person.
The room came out homey, with pictures of all their loved ones up on the wall, because with grandparents, aunts and cousins all the way across the country, you have to be creative. Howard had helped them paint the mural, and he swore he would never do anything like this for anyone else. It took them a week and half, and about two rounds of beer each time, but when it was finished, it all felt worth it.
One whole wall of the room is painted like Neverland, with the ship and the crocodile and a Peter Pan flying through the clouds with his lost boys. Katie had even added the details of Jason, Robbie, Gary, Howard and Mark to the lost boys, with their own distinct haircuts and colours, and now Mark and Gary’s daughter would see their whole world like this, like a fairy tale. It felt fitting, somehow.
"Alright," Gary replies. "Boys," he says, they look up at him curiously.
"What?" Jude says, Skyler repeats it soon after like a little echo. The boys are a tag team nightmare. Once they start it seems like they never stop.
"You know how we talked about babies the other day?" Gary tells the boys trying to approach it conversationally as they munch on cookies and sip cups of apple juice at the dining room table. It's a very unconventional tea party family meeting.
Jude tilts his head to the side before nodding. He's smart though, and it takes him another second for his eyes to narrow between his parents. He takes his pointer finger and pokes it in the air in their direction. "You're having a baby!" he shouts.
Like Mark had predicted this is going to be a little bit harder than it had been the previous times they had done this.
It took Jude a few weeks five years ago when they told him he would be getting a brother. But once he had been shown pictures he really understood the concept, and it was new and exciting. Although no one knew what they were getting into, he was well adapted when Skyler came along. Probably because he has so many cousins and he’s constantly surrounded.
Now Jude has done that attitude and both Gary and Mark know it. He’s had his hair pulled by Skyler too many times.
“Another baby!” Skyler says raising his hands up to high five his oblivious brother. They raise their cups and try to bang them together laughing and spilling juice on themselves.
Jude has a look of shock horror on his face. “I don’t want another baby,” he wails slamming his fists on the table making another cup spill.
Mark looks at Gary knowing. This was definitely coming.
“Why’s that?”
“There are going to be too many babies in our house, Papa,” he says folding his arms and looking at Skyler giggling.
“But you’ll love him or her, right Jude?” Gary says patting his head. And it’s true.
“You’re such a good big brother,” Mark says kissing him on the forehead and ruffling up his hair.
“You are! You’re my favourite big brother J,” Skyler says with a toothy grin.
Jude sighs flopping his head down into his hands. “It’s just hard work.”
The phone rings and its 2:00 a.m. At least that is what the clock says. On any other day maybe they would have just grabbed it and turned it off because sleep should be respected. But something feels peculiar about this moment, as if Gary had already been awake just sort of waiting for it.
Mark notices the change in his voice and immediately perks up. He knows exactly what this means.
And this was definitely not meant to happen like this, but life obviously had other plans because they have no one to look after the boys and Mark has a bunch of radio interviews this week and Gary has writing sessions planned and their baby is coming. Mark jumps out of bed looking desperately for the emergency bag. Gary always laughs at him because he has an emergency baby bag ready—it’s in every damn book alright, be prepared— and they have never needed it until now.
Gary kneels down by Jude's bed and switches his Darth Vader lamp on. He immediately covers his eyes with his hand and rolls over into his mountains of soft toy zoo animals and pillows. Gary carefully rolls him back over, much to his quiet protests.
“Jude,” he coos pulling the blankets off his. He frowns but opens his eyes slowly, his green eyes piercing him and his brows furrowed.
“Is it really time for school?” he asks confused and annoyed looking at his dark curtains that have no sign of light. Jude really hates school.
“No sleepyhead,” he replies kissing his furrowed brow and trying not to laugh at how he sighs with joy. He yawns and stretches his arms. “Pammy's coming.”
“Am I going with you?” His smile increasing as he says trying to sit up.
Gary shakes his head sadly and watches Jude get sadder and sadder very quickly. “You’ve got to look after Skyler for me and Daddy. Is that alright?” he says like he had rehearsed over and over again in his head.
He seems better when he hears that but asks, “Is Nana here?”
“She’s going to be here soon. You’re going to stay with Howard and Katie.”
He solemnly nods; Gary can see it in his eyes he is obviously sad he won’t be staying with his 'Uncle Robbie'. It’s just both Mark and Gary know that could end in disaster. Plus Robbie didn’t answer his phone where as Katie answered Howard's with giant “Yes!” as a greeting because the girls love the boys (Gary isn't sure the feeling is mutual, Jude did claim Grace tried to cut his fringe off once.)
They switch all the lights off and lock the doors holding hands until they reach the car in the driveway. Gary has put their bags in the back and Mark managed to get Skyler out of bed and into the car without waking him. He has magic hands, that’s the only reasoning Gary can ever come up with. He is a baby whisperer. It’s pitch dark outside and Jude seems marvelled by it trying to stare up at the dark sky.
“I went to sleep and woke up but the sun didn’t,” he tells Mark as he puts him next to Skyler in the back seat.
Mark smiles a sleepy grin at Jude as he leans over to adjust the older boy’s fringe that pokes out of his knitted hat. He doesn't have the heart to try and explain astronomy to Jude right now, besides he likes the innocent theory better. "You can go back to sleep if you'd like," he says to which he gets a frown in reply. This is obviously way too exciting for sleep.
Eighteen inches, five pounds.
Pammy Barlow is the smallest little thing in the world when she arrives far too many weeks early scaring everyone to death and probably causing herself to be grounded for the rest of her life indefinitely.
Mark stares at the plastic before him. It’s a mutual feeling of wanting to break something but not being able to do so, because the very thing he wants to smash is just doing its job. And it is doing its job very well. He should thank it rather than try and burn a hole in it by staring.
It’s just annoying because this time it’s Mark’s job. It’s in his job description and his DNA and everything. He is supposed to keep his baby warm, and protect her from the outside world. Not a little incubator.
Mark might be going a little bit crazy. He hasn’t slept in almost two days.
He watches Pammy move her little fingers up and down in her sleep and he smiles. He has only been able to hold her properly a handful of times, other than that they just let him see her from behind the glass doors.
She has a little burgundy beanie on. He doesn’t know why she ended up with burgundy when they got her a whole rainbow of colours. He thinks maybe one of her brothers must have chosen it, probably with some influence from Gary. It doesn’t match her booties.
It’s only a moment later that he can feel Gary and his eyes bearing into the back of his skull, a few seconds later that he feels his hand on his shoulder very much expecting it and letting it anchor him. Mark leans his head to the side and just rests his cheek on the back of his hand. It’s comforting.
Mark can smell coffee. Gary doesn’t drink coffee unless he is really tired. Like really tired.
"How is she?"
“Hi. Good. How are they?” Mark says quickly.
“Good. As impatient as ever, I was scared they were going to sneak into my car,” Gary says light heartedly trying to cheer Mark up. He does smile a bit and his heart aches. He needs to go home, but the thought of leaving Pammy is unbearable.
“They made these,” Gary says propping some cards up against some window. Jude has drawn their entire family as penguins, very creative; it deserves a spot on the fridge. Not that Skyler’s ones don’t, his spaghetti like people are very lovely. He suddenly thinks in the thousands of thoughts circulating he needs to go write a song as soon as they get out of here, he’ll need to find some quietness.
Gary steps back and Mark knows he is talking to Pammy and he tries not to listen. He doesn't need to get all silly and emotional. He just marvels at the way Gary is his rock. It doesn't matter how much they change and grow, it's been the same thing since he can remember. Gary might go around screaming Mark makes him braver, and it’s true. But, Gary does something entirely different. He is the foundation and the constant, for their family. Mark balls his hands into fists and wonders how they all got so lucky.
Gary eventually wraps himself back around Mark again kissing his head. They just sit there for a few moments in silence.
“They just told me she’ll be perfectly fine,” Gary says. They’ve told Mark as well, about twenty times in the last hour. It doesn’t make him feel better.
“The nurse told me they’re going to check on her in an hour and then hopefully by the end of today she will be out of there.”
Mark sighs and lets his Gary tangle fingers in his hair before he loops his arms around his neck from behind. “I know,” he replies weakly.
“She’s fine Mark, all she needed was to be warmed up because she can’t do it quite right, and a little bit of extra oxygen because she doesn’t have the biggest lungs,” Gary whispers, swinging them back and forth together. Mark doesn’t like her breathing tube in her nose. She has to wear booties on her hands so she can’t pull it out.
“But look at her, she definitely has the whole breathing thing down perfectly now. She’ll have good lungs, don’t worry. A nice pair of pop star lungs,” he continues. Mark would normally reprimand him that none of them will be pop stars if he can help it. And then Gary would laugh at tell him to say that to Jude.
Mark sniffs his nose instead to stop the emotions that threaten to break. “She will be loud, loud and loud for sure,” he murmurs into Gary’s arm.
“Yes, she will be.”
Jude sits on Gary’s lap in the middle of the sofa in their house. Mark sits on one side of them holding Pammy and Skyler sits alone on the other side.
Pammy is a Barlow and she’s Gary's baby as well, but he’s not blind. He knows that she and Mark have got a different connection, a weird, father-daughter-telepathy thing going that he hasn't understood just yet. Mark holds her impossibly close and carefully, because he probably knows it as well. They’re on the same wavelength, the two of them, but Gary doesn’t mind. He gets it.
“Alright, do you remember what we said Jude?” Gary asks him.
He folds his arms over each other mimicking holding a baby like he has been practising. “Arms folded, strong arms and no moving,” he prattles on looking down at his new sister half asleep. She looks like a doll, but she cries too much and that gives it away he thinks.
Gary puts his arms under Jude’s from behind securing them tight. “That’s right,” he tells Jude.
Mark carefully picks Pammy up and places her in Jude’s arms, with Gary’s help he is able to gently hold onto his sister who is wrapped up tightly in her blankets. She opens her mouth threatening to cry but changes her mind.
Skyler leans over her, hands going everywhere, to try and get a look. He’s very very careful and very quiet.
“Look I’m holding her Daddy!” Jude says excitedly. "We're holding her! Papa, look!"
Mark takes a picture the exact moment he smiles after saying it. It’s Jude grinning down at the baby in his arms. Skyler does the same thing cuddled up into his sides.
"She looks like a doll," Jude says looking at Gary.
It’s later that they are looking at the photos and smiling that it hits them.
“We have three kids,” Mark says. He thinks they might be out doing themselves just a tad.
It's not that they didn't realise they have three kids. You don't just wake up one day with this many children. It's just looking at them all bundled together it hits them.
“We have a very small army,” Mark laughs his head resting on Gary's shoulder, “Of two adults and three under ten year-olds.”
A moment passes where Gary just looks at the picture, dragging his finger along the screen of his phone. They have really cute kids. They make really good babies; they owe it to the world to have a lot of them. That is justification enough.
Mark kisses his forehead and lets out a small laugh. Three is a lot, they should probably stop. “No more babies. We’re good.”
No more babies. Definitely, no more babies. Three is perfect. A handful. Good number.
"She is so small," Jude says quietly to no one in particular. He snuggles in closer to Mark’s side and keeps watching over the way Pammy’s chest rises and falls under the blankets. She is stretched out wide, her limbs extended and her little fists pressed to Gary’s chest like it's a pillow. He counts her eyelashes and spends his time blissfully watching her do nothing but sleep.
"She's funny looking," Skyler giggles.
"You're funny looking," Jude says shoving his side, "She's cute," he says fixing his eyes back on her.
"Daddy, don't fall asleep," Skyler says shaking Mark’s shoulders. He has his eyes closed and the blankets up to his chin but smiles when he moves him about.
"I'm not." Yawn. "I'm just-" Yawn. "I’m just listening puddy-cat."
"We're supposed to be hanging out," Jude says from somewhere in the middle on the bed. It's true, it's the first night with the whole family back home and everyone is feeling very clingy. Gary swears every time he unlatches one child from his arm, the other one seizes the chance and grabs hold of him.
It’s 7:00 p.m. on a Saturday and the entire Barlow family is well and truly ready for sleep. They are somehow defying physics and all under the covers in Jude's bed. There are legs and toes and arms everywhere, but like a perfect little jigsaw puzzle they fit just right.
The best way to describe Jude's room is that it literally looks like a Jedi stole Noah's ark and started a rouge Zoo in a rocket ship.
"It's family time," Skyler adds burrowing his head on Mark’s other side.
Mark is so tired he can't move at all and Gary had been immobilized by a sleeping newborn. This will have to do.
"Alright," Gary says softly, "What are we doing then?"
They could have story time, or put on a movie on the quietest volume setting, or even singing if someone can find a guitar and they keep it very muted. They could try and do anything really, as long as they are prepared for it to fail.
When no one answers Jude quietly replies, "Nothing. This is nice."
Mark opens one eye to just take a little look at his family. He counts two boys in matching superhero pyjamas and a toddler under one arm. Plus the love of his life with a hand over their baby's back, dwarfing her and holding her close.
"There is no place I'd rather be," Jude adds.
He couldn't agree more.
When Gary feels Pammy stir an hour or two later ready for a bottle he finds the room dark. He can just make out shadows and laboured breaths. He prides himself away from Jude and Skyler’s grips before she can start to scream, holding her tight and slipping out of the covers as carefully as possible.
They have somehow managed to all end up asleep in here. This isn't the first time this has occurred and probably won’t be the last. As Gary opens the door and turns the hallway light on he can make out the shapes in the bed now.
Mark has a Jude under one arm and a Skyler in the other. He’s just a head of brown hair in a sea of blond, probably extremely uncomfortable, hot and his back will hurt all week.
He tried his best to be quiet and sneaky but Mark just has a sixth sense when it comes to Gary. It's like he feels the needle on the compass move and he has to open his eyes to follow its direction.
"Hey," he mouths in the dark, Gary just being able to make it out.
"I love you," Gary mouths back, because it means the same thing in the end, everything does.
If this is forever, it’s the best one he could have ever dreamed.