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taehyung wasn't meant to be hit by a car.
obviously not, he's on crippling student loans, struggling through his first year at university, basically living off cereal and ramen, and, ideally, shouldn't be spending his precious money on hospital bills. not to mention he was saving up for that one (really expensive) brush set that would work wonders for his paintings.
unfortunately, he wouldn't be getting it any time soon.
"taehyung? are you listening?" a voice pulls him out of his distressing thoughts, and he blinks at jimin, his best friend, who sat on the grey, plastic, ugly chair next to his hospital bed. "of course you're not listening. you have got the biggest pout on your lips. and i'm talking big big. what are you thinking about?"
taehyung sighs, leaning back on the pillows, even if it sent a dull ache through his body. "the bills."
"why?"
"because i really don't want to pay them."
he felt, rather than saw jimin roll his eyes. "you've been awake for...about 10 minutes, and you're already thinking about the bills? maybe consider your health, first. and, your parents are going to help."
taehyung slid his eyes sideways to meet with jimin's. "i don't want them to."
"doesn't matter, they're going to help." jimin wasn't firm with taehyung very often, but when he was, taehyung never bothered arguing with him.
it wasn't that he didn't appreciate his parents helping with the bills - he still didn't know how many zeroes there were going to be on that bill, god help him - but he liked to be independent. even if it meant not buying his favourite snacks and not eating out at times. he enjoyed the sense of doing things by himself, and getting along in life fine without needing his parents to do everything.
but some things just don't go the way you want them to.
the door opens to a broad shouldered man in a doctor's coat with a clipboard in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. "ah, taehyung. good to see you're awake. sorry it took me a while, i thought you might've wanted some coffee."
taehyung grins and reaches out for the coffee, sending an ache through his arms. "jin, you're the best. have i ever told you that?"
seokjin rolls his eyes and carefully places the coffee cup into taehyung's hands. "i know. why do you think i'm the one looking after you?"
"because jungkook basically forced you to?" taehyung knowingly says, taking a sip of the drink. "where is he, anyways?"
"no, he didn't force me," seokjin replies, reaching out to gently flick taehyung in the forehead. "you're my friend, of course i'd volunteer to look after you. and jungkook's just coming, he went to grab some food. now, let me take a look at you."
taehyung lets seokjin fuss over him for a good twenty minutes while jimin tells him off for getting hit by a car - okay, but what could he have done? - before jungkook enters with a plastic bag, dumping it in taehyung's lap before pecking seokjin's cheek as he examines taehyung's ankle.
"not here, you two," jimin complains as seokjin blushes, straightening up from where he was at the foot of taehyung's bed.
jungkook shrugs, dragging another ugly, plastic grey chair to sit on the other side of taehyung's bed. "so what if i wanna greet my boyfriend?"
taehyung rolls his eyes, and then hisses as seokjin prods at his ankle. "ow, that hurt."
"of course it hurts, you were hit by a car."
"jungkook, shut up."
*
a couple hours later, after taehyung manages to persuade jimin to go back to their flat and take jungkook back to his own, he's lying down on the not-so-comfortable hospital bed, staring out the window watching as the sun set and wonders why he let himself get hit by a car.
the damage wasn't too bad, but there was damage.
he watches as the sun disappears and turns his attention to the tv, which was playing a drama he'd already watched.
he was so, utterly, bored.
seokjin comes to check on him every couple hours or so, making sure that he's taken his dose of pain killers before instructing him to stay in bed and to remain there until the morning.
"it's not like i can go anywhere," taehyung scoffs, pointing at his ankle. "look how ugly it looks."
seokjin merely shakes his head, an amused look on his face before bidding taehyung goodnight and leaving the room.
taehyung drifts into a restless sleep, so it's not a surprise when he wakes up to hushed voices in the middle of the night - ones that he's not familiar with.
he cracks his eyes open to find two men standing at the feet of his bed, having an intensely animated conversation.
they were dressed casually, too casually that taehyung pushed the thought of them being murderers out of his head. however, they were too casual to be a nurse checking up on him. not to mention that weird, soft glow that seemed to be emitting from their bodies. and, taehyung notices, as he blinks a couple more times, a ring of light that hovered a couple inches above their heads.
that's it, taehyung thought. he's either having a dream, or he's going mad.
"-i told you, he's fine, look at him-" one of them was saying. he looked a little on the shorter side, wearing jeans and a white shirt, with flannel wrapped around his waist.
"he is clearly not fine, yoongi," the other one hissed back at his friend. this one was taller, wearing a big hoodie and baggy trousers. "he got hit by a car!"
the shorter one - yoongi - rolled his eyes and replied quietly, "hoseok, chill out. he's breathing. he's fine."
the so called 'hoseok' pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a quiet sigh. "you're going to be the end of me. namjoon is going to kill you."
"no he won't," yoongi protests. "it happens all the time. look, i'll even bring him here, so he can see that taehyung is absolutely fine."
at the mention of his name, taehyung can't help but flinch. they turn to look at him, and freeze. taehyung's staring at them, eyes unblinking, mouth slightly open.
"oh, shit." yoongi breathes, and suddenly, the ring of light - taehyung refuses to acknowledge it as a halo - disappears. so does hoseok's.
"ah. fuck," agrees hoseok, and taehyung watches their unnatural body glow too, fades away. it's silent for a few seconds, and then suddenly, hoseok snorts, causing taehyung to jump. "oh, sorry, sorry taehyung. this is just a little funny."
"who-" taehyung manages to say before he's interrupted by yoongi.
"this is not funny!" yoongi hisses to hoseok, reaching out to pinch him. "namjoon is actually going to kill me now."
"that's why it's funny," hoseok gleefully says. "right, you know what? i'm going to leave you to it. man, this will be a day to remember. taehyung-" he starts again at the mention of his name "-i hope you feel better soon. yoongi, i'll see you in a bit."
"hoseok, don't you dare," yoongi warns, but with a mischievous grin, hoseok winks, and disappears.
taehyung makes a weird sound at the back of his throat, once again capturing the attention of yoongi, who almost makes him want to cower away. "who the hell are you?"
"uh-" yoongi barely doesn't get a word out before taehyung goes off again.
"i'm dreaming, right? yeah, i must be," he mutters to himself, even going so far as to pinching himself, but nothing happens.
"no, you're not-"
"okay, fuck, i must've hit my head somehow," taehyung ignores yoongi, panic increasing inside his chest. he literally just saw a man disappear. out of nowhere. to nowhere. from god knows where. "i'm going mad."
"taehyung," yoongi tries, but to no avail.
"yep, i'm definitely going mad." taehyung shuts his eyes, shaking his head violently even though it hurt him to do so, as if it would help shake whatever is happening right now out of his head.
"taehyung, stop," yoongi's voice is soft, and a lot closer than before. taehyung feels a hand on his chin, promptly stopping him from his frantic shaking, and he flinches away.
his eyes open to see yoongi standing where jimin was sat earlier in the day. taehyung opened his mouth, and there was no stopping the splurge of questions that he had. "who...who are you? how do you know my name? are you going to kill me? where did the other guy go?"
yoongi shakes his head, and a lock of his silver - who has silver hair? - hair falls down into his eyes. it looked ridiculously soft. "i'm not going to kill you. i'm supposed to do the opposite."
"what?" taehyung doesn't know if he's still dreaming, or if he's really mad, but for now, yoongi didn't seem to be threatening him. at least, that's what taehyung thinks, but maybe he's delirious. yoongi leans back, his hand falling from taehyung's chin - he didn't even notice it was still there, his touch was so soft - but taehyung is glad for the breathing space.
"i'm..." yoongi hesitates. his eyes are a soft, dark brown, and taehyung sort of feels like he's lost in them the second he makes eye contact with him. "i'm your guardian angel."
silence.
and then taehyung can't help it, he laughs. it hurts a lot, but he laughs. he laughs until he cries, wiping the tears out of his eyes, looking up to see yoongi with a small frown on his face. "oh, you can't be serious."
"i am," yoongi insists, his frown deepening, and taehyung sobers up.
"oh."
"yeah."
"wait, you mean like, you're...immortal, or something?" taehyung questions, trying to get his head around the idea of a guardian angel. he doesn't believe him. "what, are you meant to look after me?"
"that's the idea, yeah," yoongi nods, looking relieved that taehyung was no longer hysterically laughing. he sits down. "protect you, guide you, look after you, that stuff."
another dead silence.
taehyung registers the clock on the wall, and he sighs. 2:30am. he got hit by a car, he's in a hospital, and is now having a conversation with his so called, 'guardian angel'. he doesn't notice how yoongi is wringing his hands in his lap. "what about the other guy?"
"who, hoseok?"
taehyung nods.
"he's gone back to...where we come from," yoongi says vaguely, and taehyung frowns. to a place that didn't exist, he supposed. because this wasn't real. a guy couldn't disappear into thin air, it was impossible.
taehyung decides to take a different approach. "okay, so let's assume you're actually my 'guardian angel'-"
"i literally am."
"-then why the fuck did you let me get hit by a goddamn car?"
yoongi winces. "ah, that. right."
taehyung raises an eyebrow. "yeah, that. if you're my guardian angel, shouldn't you be protecting me from getting into accidents big enough that they end up with me being in a hospital?"
"yes," yoongi slowly says, playing with a ring on his middle finger that taehyung hadn't noticed before. "but sometimes we make mistakes."
"oh great, so your 'mistake' ends up with me being a hospital." taehyung shakes his head. "i could sue you for this."
"not really you can't," yoongi shakes his head, a small laugh escaping him. taehyung barely registered how ridiculous it was, to sue an angel. "we live in different worlds. plus, every guardian angel will make a mistake at least once in the lifetime of their human. it's inevitable. yours just came now."
"and how many humans have you had to look after?" taehyung couldn't help it, he was beginning to get curious. as an artist, one way or another, you'll know the works of many others, and taehyung has seen plenty of paintings and drawings that depicted angels of sorts. obviously, he wasn't expecting to meet one in real life.
"you are my..." yoongi ponders for a couple of seconds. "hundred and eleventh, probably."
"okay, wow," taehyung did a couple calculations, coming to the conclusion that the angel was pretty old, even though he didn't look a day over 25. nevertheless, he continues, "and do you always check on them like you've done for me, if you've made a mistake?"
"yes, but usually i don't get caught. i'm not meant to be seen by you."
"right, okay. who's namjoon, then?"
"namjoon? he's like, the head of guardian angels, i guess," yoongi releases a breath. "he's probably gonna be mad at me because you've seen me. i'm hoping he doesn't know, but he probably does."
"you guys weren't exactly being quiet," taehyung murmurs, stifling a yawn. it was coming up to 3am, and he was suddenly having a hard time keeping his eyes open. "whatever. you're probably not real. i'm probably having a really vivid dream. thanks for letting me get hit by a car. i won't tell on you, but can i get another guardian angel?"
he hears yoongi's soft laughter - everything about this man was soft - and then he feels a hand caressing his hair, once, twice, thrice, before he falls asleep.
*
when taehyung wakes up, the first thing that pops into his mind is yoongi's face. he scowls. "of course it wasn't real," he mutters to himself. "guardian angel, my ass."
"still don't believe me?" a voice comes from the corner of the room, and taehyung shrieks. there, standing in all his glory, was yoongi. he was dressed differently, formally, a complete opposite of what he was wearing last night.
"oh my god," taehyung covers his face. "you're actually real."
"as real as i can get."
"what the fuck."
"what the fuck, indeed."
taehyung peaks through his hands to see yoongi move closer, and then he really sees what yoongi looks like. last night it was dark, he was half asleep, and he didn't believe it was real.
his guardian angel's face was defined, quite pale in contrast to taehyung, with silver hair that fell in front of his dark brown eyes. and, taehyung couldn't help but notice, he had really cute cheeks. damn, his guardian angel was one good looking motherfucker. not the mention the white suit that blinded him. he looked really good.
"why are you dressed like you're going to a wedding?" taehyung asks, beginning to prop himself up into a sitting position. before he can protest, yoongi is by his side, helping him and fluffing his pillows up. "and why are you here?"
"i had...a meeting, you could say, with namjoon," yoongi answers in that stupidly gentle voice of his. "it requires me looking presentable."
he looks far more than just presentable, taehyung thinks. he looks amazing.
"and i'm here because i just wanted to check on you again," yoongi shrugs. "you've seen me, namjoon knows, there's nothing i can do about it now. might as well be here rather than watching from home."
"okay, but if i called in my doctor right now, would you have to leave?"
"yeah, probably." yoongi sits down, crossing a leg over the other before he sighs. "hoseok, stop nosing about. just come out."
taehyung can barely hold down a scream as hoseok appears, right in front of him, donned in clothes that were a lot more casual than what yoongi was wearing. "oh my god, you have to stop doing that."
"good to see you too," hoseok nods at him before turning to yoongi. he wasn't as playful as taehyung remembered him to be last night. "yoongi, what are you doing?"
"nothing."
"you're not doing nothing, you know we're not meant to do this," hoseok warns, eyes narrowing. "last night was a one off. we should leave."
yoongi, to taehyung's surprise, rolls his eyes. "it doesn't matter anymore. namjoon knows, taehyung knows, what harm could there possibly be?"
hoseok shakes his head. "you shouldn't."
"you know, jimin's on his way here right now. you wouldn't want him seeing you, would you?" yoongi remarks, and taehyung inclines his head in question as he hears his best friend's name. yoongi, reading the question on taehyung's face replies, "hoseok is jimin's guardian angel. we kinda just got paired off with you too cause hoseok and i are close, and so were you two."
hoseok sighs. "yoongi, lets go."
taehyung hears footsteps approaching, and he's not surprised when a second later, the two angels disappear and jimin walks through the door, a look of relief on his face as he spies taehyung awake on his bed, all in one piece.
"hey, taehyungie," jimin bends down to give him a gentle hug. "how are you feeling?"
"i'm good," taehyung says, returning the hug. his best friend, the realest person out there. "when can i get out of here?"
*
the next time yoongi appears, it's when taehyung's back in his flat that he shares with jimin.
he's sat on the couch, watching a drama on his phone, unceremoniously eating cereal on its own, wrapped up in a couple blankets when yoongi appears right in front of him.
taehyung jumps, and the cereal goes everywhere. "yoongi!"
"what?" the angel was dressed in jeans and a bomber jacket, a look far more casual than the one taehyung last saw him in.
"you-you made me spill my cereal," taehyung scolds, throwing the blankets off of him, setting the cereal box onto the floor before getting on his knees to sweep the cereal on the floor into one pile.
what a waste, he mourns, straightening back up to grab a dustpan and brush from the kitchen. "next time, can you come...less scarily? like, i don't know, knock on the door?"
yoongi seems confused, almost. "why would i do that?"
"because it's common courtesy?" taehyung replies, making a face at the angel as he scoops up the lost cereal from the floor. "or do you not knock? from...wherever you come from."
"not really, no," yoongi muses, taking a seat on the couch, watching as taehyung cleans up the mess. "we're just kind of...there."
"yeah, i gathered," taehyung mutters, dumping the cereal into the bin. "what a waste."
"sorry," yoongi says, sounding surprisingly not sorry. "where's jimin?"
"why, are you going to disappear the moment he gets back?" taehyung raises an eyebrow. yoongi stares at him unnervingly. "he's at dance practice, jesus. we have classes, and all, you know? university life?"
"oh. okay."
"you know, for someone who's been alive for a long time, you don't seem to know much about people," taehyung remarks, sitting back down on the other end of the couch and bringing his knees up to his chest. he's still comprehending it. an angel is sat in his humble abode, conversing with him like any other normal person would.
"i just..." yoongi pauses, as if thinking about the right words to use. "i don't really watch...humans. i just kind of feel when something might go wrong, and then that's when i do something."
"oh...so you're saying you don't actually know much about what goes on in life?" taehyung asks, frowning. he had to rely on someone who didn't know how the world works to keep him safe. go figure.
"no, i do know," yoongi quickly replies. "it's just...i've been alive for a while, and sometimes i just can't be bothered to keep up with how things work in this world."
"right, so stuff about university...?"
"i was alive when there were no such thing as classes, so," yoongi shrugs. "i don't know much."
if taehyung were to guess, he'd say that angels know everything, see everything, hear everything, but clearly, that wasn't the case. "are you sure you're not just lazy, or something?"
yoongi made an offended face, but to taehyung, he was just scrunching up his button nose, his lips forming a pout. something tugged at taehyung's heart strings. "no, i'm not lazy. i just...can't be bothered."
taehyung laughs. "that is literally you being lazy." he shakes his head. "i'll tell you about what i do at university, if you want? or maybe just about...life nowadays? the twenty first century?"
yoongi cocks his head, eyebrows raising at the offer. taehyung can't really read meet the angel's eyes, they were so piercing, so he just settles with looking at the ring on yoongi's slender hands.
was it a weird offer to make? taehyung thinks, internally cringing. why would an angel want to learn about the world from an ordinary human? there was probably someone out there who wouldn't blabber on as much. but then yoongi says, "sure, why not?"
and so they spend the rest of the afternoon talking about taehyung, his life, and the world.
when jimin gets back from practice and yoongi has to disappear, taehyung can't help but miss him.
*
yoongi comes back all the time. he comes back whenever taehyung is alone, and sometimes he even comes back when taehyung is in class, although when that happens, yoongi is grinning mischievously as taehyung tries not to make it obvious that he's seen him as to not draw attention to the angel. yoongi brings a little light every time he visit into taehyung's life, and he doesn't mind. he's more than okay with it. it makes him happy, but every time yoongi leaves, taehyung finds himself missing the angel a little more than the last time.
it goes on for months, and taehyung refuses to acknowledge the crush he had on the angel growing. how could he not, when yoongi was so...yoongi. sometimes, when taehyung had had a bad day, the angel would insist they go on a walk, grab a coffee, or just sit down and talk. at first, taehyung was unsure, asking yoongi if it was safe, because people would see him, but the angel merely shrugged, giving a small smile that taehyung was soon infatuated with, and said, "people will see what they want to see".
he did little things like bring taehyung coffee in the morning before his classes - taehyung once asked where the coffee was from, and yoongi had replied in all seriousness with, "from heaven" and that was the end of their conversation - stocking up on the cereal when taehyung ran out and forgot to buy some, giving taehyung his opinion on his artwork, and best of all, just being there to talk.
so yeah, it wasn't very long before taehyug unwisely develops a full on crush on the angel.
he considers telling yoongi soon, but chickens out every time the angel appears, and he just settles with the fact that he is able to be around yoongi. that was enough for him. at least, that's what he tells himself.
what he really wants to do is hold yoongi's hand, hug him, squish his cheeks, spend even more time with him, eat with him, sleep with him - he just wants yoongi to stay.
this time, taehyung's doing the dishes that jimin so graciously left behind before he went to dance practice when yoongi appears again. it didn't scare or surprise him anymore - he felt safe around yoongi, but he supposed that was what guardian angels are meant to do. that's what he keeps telling himself, because no, it's not because he's got a crush on the angel and he feels very much at home whenever he's around.
"i'm hungry," yoongi announces as he appears in the kitchen, and taehyung turns around, turning off the water. today, yoongi wore a big white jumper with ripped jeans, and taehyung had to fight the urge to gather the shorter man into his arms and just hold him. he turns back to the dishes to hide the blush that crept up his cheeks.
he mentally scolds himself. yes, the man was attractive, but it didn't mean that he had to be attracted to him.
well, it was too late for that, but taehyung was in denial.
"and how am i supposed to help with that?" he asks the angel, his lips turning upwards into a fond smile.
yoongi silently moves next to him, and it's all taehyung can do to not move away as he feels the warmth of the angel seeping into him. god help him. he didn't even realise that yoongi had this much of an effect on him.
maybe he did, but like he said, he was in denial.
"hmm," yoongi ponders with the cutest pout on his lips, and taehyung is fighting himself internally as he finds himself wanting to kiss the angel's soft, pink lips. god, what was he doing? yoongi was an angel. an angel. and taehyung was just a human. you can't put the two together.
"you could make me ramen," yoongi suggests, and taehyung subtly moves away as he turns to face yoongi. breathing space, he tells himself.
"do angels even eat ramen?" taehyung questions, raising his eyebrows when yoongi nods. "interesting. unfortunately for you, i've run out of ramen."
"not a problem," yoongi says and holds up a hand. "give me five minutes."
exactly five minutes later, he reappears with a bag in his hand, and its full of ramen packages. taeyhung narrows his eyes at him. "where did you get these?"
"from the shop across the street," yoongi answers as he takes out a couple packages and pushes them towards taehyung.
"did you pay?"
"yeah, of course."
"how did you pay, if people aren't meant to see you?"
"i've got my own ways, don't worry about it. now make me some ramen."
and so taehyung does. he cooks the angel some ramen, even though he's certain yoongi is able to make some by himself, and then he sets it on the kitchen table and pulls out the seat across him, watching as he eats. every little thing about the angel was so endearing.
"you know, that circle of light that you had when i first saw you," taehyung begins to ask as yoongi eats. even the way he ate was endearing.
"you mean the halo," the angel corrects, chopsticks halfway to his mouth. "it's a halo."
"whatever, the halo," taehyung pauses. pauses for long enough that yoongi stops eating.
"what about it?" he asks, cocking his head to the side and taehyung is thinking, when the fuck did he get so cute. when exactly, did taehyung start falling into this deep hole of...feelings.
"can i..." taehyung hesitates, but then he goes on. "can i see it?"
"oh," yoongi blinks, and for a second, taehyung thinks he shouldn't have asked, maybe there were other rules about showing these things, but then yoongi continues with, "of course."
and then there it is. it's a ring of glowing white light, hovering just inches above yoongi's silver hair, and its beautiful. it's angelic, taehyung thinks to himself with a small smile. it really was beautiful.
slowly, yoongi begins to glow with a soft, subtle light, the same as taehyung saw when he first met yoongi, and his breath is stolen away. there was no denying it now. his angel was a very attractive man, and taehyung was very much attracted to him.
"wow," he breathes. god, the angel was stunning. "are angels all this beautiful?"
yoongi raises his eyebrows. "are you saying that i'm beautiful?"
taehyung panics. of course he panics. "no! wait, no, not no, you're not not beautiful, i was just saying how you looked really beautiful, but i was kinda just wondering if all angels were beautiful, you know, because-"
"chill out, tae," yoongi laughs, and taehyung lets out a small sigh. and then his heart did a little dance. yoongi called him tae. "i'm just playing with you."
noticing that yoongi was finished with his noodles, and desperate for something to distract him from what had just happened, he takes the bowl to the sink hurriedly, but isn't prepared for the soup to slosh over the sides and onto his hands. with the liquid still hot, he hisses.
yoongi is immediately by his side - taehyung doesn't understand how he moves so fast - taking the bowl form his hands and setting in down beside the sink. "hey, are you okay?"
he could feel the heat creeping up his cheeks in embarrassment as he nods, "yeah, i'm okay, just wasn't being careful."
yoongi tuts at him, and taehyung was not prepared for yoongi to take his hands - god, his hands were so soft - and to pull them towards the tap, running them under the cold water. taehyung could've protested, because really, the soup wasn't hot enough to burn him, he was more shocked than anything, but he couldn't help but think of yoongi's hands on his, gently brushing across them as he turns the water off and dries his hands.
taehyung's heart is beating fast enough that he's certain that the angel can hear it. yep, he had a crush alright.
"see, this is why it's a good thing i'm around," yoongi says, his hands still on taehyung's, who is fighting the urge to scream. "you hurt yourself too easily."
"you're the one who let me get hit by a car," taehyung retorts, and he's glad that his voice was stable. yoongi looks up, because he has to with taehyung - he already noted how yoongi was the perfect height for forehead kisses - and narrows his eyes at him.
"that was one time," yoongi drawls, letting go of taehyung's hands, much to his disappointment. "and you're all in one piece, so its fine."
"yeah, yeah," taehyung brushes it off, a small smile gracing his face, because if yoongi hadn't made a mistake and the car hadn't hit taehyung, he wouldn't have met the angel in the first place. and honestly, taehyung can't imagine not being able to see the angel as often as he did now. just the thought of it didn't bode well with his already weak heart.
they were stood so close. too close, and taehyung is finding it a little hard to breathe. he shouldn't be feeling this way, especially not for someone who was immortal. an angel. it would probably look really stupid to yoongi as well. a human with a crush on him. an angel, who's been alive for centuries, who could probably find another angel out there who was far better than taehyung was, and, you know, actually live for as long as yoongi would.
"tae?" fuck. again with the name. "you okay?"
taehyung looks at the halo that still lingered above his head, looks at the angel in front of him, just looks at yoongi , and he's falling, and falling, and he can't help but say softly, "you're the most beautiful person i know."
yoongi blinks as he registers what taehyung says, and he takes a step back. the step was enough to pierce through taehyung's heart. he shouldn't have said it.
yoongi takes another step back before he slowly says, "thank you. i...i really should be going now. um, thank you for the ramen. i'll see you in a bit, taehyung."
and then like the angel always does, he disappears. except this time, he takes a piece of taehyung's heart with him.
*
yoongi is gone for weeks, and taehyung can't help but beat himself up for it. he knew he shouldn't have said it. it made things awkward, it made yoongi cringe, it made yoongi stay away; it's probably made yoongi feel uncomfortable to be around him. and he hated that. he tells himself that yoongi isn't obliged to be with him all the time anyways, so it doesn't matter. but it does.
jimin notices - of course he notices - but taehyung just uses the excuse of being tired. finals were coming up, so it was believable enough. it was clear that jimin didn't believe him, but he didn't push, and taehyung was grateful for it. soon, however, taehyung was stressing over his finals, and it was a good enough distraction from thinking about yoongi, but he couldn't think of what to paint. anything he did was dull, and he couldn't seem to grasp any concept or put any emotion into his paintings.
taehyung knows he shouldn't have let himself fallen in love with yoongi. he knows it would never have been possible, it would never have worked out; that there was no way around it. he knows he shouldn't have fallen in love with yoongi, but he did it anyway.
*
taehyung is sat on his bed, a pencil in his hand and a empty page of his sketchbook on his lap. he lifts the pencil towards the page, and then he begins to draw. he doesn't really know what he's drawing, but he just draws, until half an hour later, he puts the pencil down and sighs.
of course he's drawn yoongi.
no drawing or painting would ever do him justice, but taehyung can't help it. this is probably the thirtieth sketch he's done of yoongi. he really misses him, and he can't help it.
he sighs again, throwing the sketchbook in front of him, leaning back and closing his eyes. yeah, he misses yoongi. badly. but showing a fraction of his feelings by just complimenting the angel had lead to his absence, and taehyung wishes he could take it all back. fuck all his feelings, he just wanted yoongi back.
taehyung doesn't know how long he sits there for before he hears, "damn, is that really what my nose looks like?"
he doesn't want to open his eyes. it's probably a dream again. yoongi disappeared for ages, why would he come back now? but he opens his eyes anyways. and there he is, standing at the foot of his bed, wearing black from head to toe.
he makes eye contact with the angel, and feels something prickling at the corner of his eyes. taehyung takes a deep breath, bringing his legs in and sitting up properly. no, he refused to cry.
"hey, tae," yoongi says, says it so softly, and taehyung wants to cry.
he doesn't know what to say. he feels like there are hands squeezing at his heart, and his throat, and he doesn't know what to say. yoongi's here, he hasn't been here for weeks, but he's here now, and taehyung's overwhelmed.
he averts his eyes from the angel and swallows, before saying, "where have you been?"
"i'm sorry," yoongi apologises, moving around the bed and sitting on the edge, his knee almost brushing against taehyung's thigh. he wants to move away, but he can't. he feels the warmth that was always so comforting, but now he feels like its suffocating. "i...had things to do."
"things you couldn't tell me about?" taehyung asks after a second, bringing his knees up to his chest. god, it was so good to see him, but at the same time, it hurt.
"yeah, i'm sorry," yoongi repeats, and taehyung is shaking his head. he needs to get out.
"doesn't matter," he mumbles, because it doesn't. the angel doesn't have to tell taehyung everything. he reaches for the sketchbook, quickly shutting it before throwing it in a drawer, away from yoongi's eyes. he gets off the bed, grabs his bag and walks towards the door. "i'm gonna go to class."
he didn't have class. he did, but it was in the morning, and yoongi probably knew that. they'd spent enough time together for yoongi to know almost his every move.
"taehyung," the angel calls, but taehyung doesn't stop. he walks past the kitchen - where yoongi had left him last time - and gets to the front door before a hand grabs gently at his wrist, and really, it's all he can do to not break down. he really shouldn't have let his feelings grow. "taehyung, wait."
taehyung wills the tears to disappear before he turns back to the angel. "do you need something?"
yoongi hesitates. his eyes are full of worry, of concern, but it's not what taehyung wants. "i'm sorry i went away for so long. i should've told you."
"yeah, it doesn't matter," taehyung quickly replies, pulling his wrist back. "it's not like you're obliged to tell me everything or be here all the time." it hurt, but it was true.
he turns to open the door, to leave, but yoongi stops him again. "do you really have class?"
the lie dances on the tip of his tongue, and maybe its out of spite, maybe just because he was hurting, or maybe just because he wanted yoongi to know that he wasn't okay, that he replies with, "no. but i just want to get out."
he doesn't miss the hurt flashing across yoongi's face, but he doesn't really care. he just wants to get out. to get away from the angel, to recollect his thoughts, and to make sure he wasn't going to cry.
taehyung leaves the flat, taking the stairs, almost running down them before he's outside, breathing in the fresh air and heading towards somewhere, anywhere.
he ends up at a park, sat at a bench by a willow tree, staring into the distance, watching as people come and go. he'd wanted for yoongi to come back - for weeks he wanted him to come back.
and now that the angel came back, he didn't know what to do.
*
by the time taehyung get's back to his flat, it's late. after checking in on jimin, who was already asleep, taehyung trudges to his room, placing his bag on the floor and removing his shoes. he doesn't notice the angel by his desk until he looks up, and a pang of hurt goes through his chest.
yoongi is sleeping, with his head on his folded arms, his silver hair falling in front of his eyes, still in the clothes that taehyung saw him in earlier. he looks so peaceful and serene, and taehyung doesn't have the heart to wake him up, to tell him to go back to wherever he came from. a small part of taehyung tells him that yoongi waited for taehyung to come back, but he doesn't know what to do with that information.
so he leaves him there, walks to jimin's room, gets into his best friend's bed, grateful when no questions are asked, and tries his best not to cry before he falls asleep.
when he wakes up, there's a note from jimin on his bed telling him that he'd left for dance practice, but if he needed anything he should just call him, and he'd be here within 10 minutes. taehyung feels a stab of guilt in his chest. jimin was his best friend, and he'd told him nothing of his encounters with the angel. he really didn't deserve him.
he gets up - still in the clothes from the night before - walks to his room to get changed and showered before he heads to the kitchen to make himself breakfast. there was a constant ache in his chest, but taehyung was at a loss. there wasn't much that he could do. if he told yoongi how he felt, nothing would happen. it wasn't like yoongi could replicate his feelings, so all taehyung could do was hope that his own feelings would dissipate soon.
he finds the angel sat in the kitchen, this time wearing a lighter coloured outfit, with a beanie on his head and taehyung's heart clenches. yoongi is sat where he had ramen the last time they were properly together, and taehyung replays the time when yoongi was holding his hand under the running water; when yoongi was so close to him that they were sharing the same air.
"why are you still here?" taehyung asks tiredly, hovering at the doorway. there was a small part of him that was glad that yoongi was still here, but taehyung ignores it. "don't you have to go back and, i don't know, report to namjoon or something?"
yoongi looks up from the kitchen table, meeting taehyung's eyes. "you're upset, and i want to know why."
taehyung can't help but scoff. "why? how about you try answering the question for yourself, yoongi." his voice comes out harsher than he intends to, but he can't take it back.
"i already apologised-" yoongi begins, but taehyung is already interrupting, his voice raised slightly.
"yeah, well, it's not going to do anything. you were gone for weeks, and i had no idea where you went, or why you went, or what i had done to make you want to stay away so bad. you just...left," taehyung's voice got quieter towards the end, and he hated himself for it.
"i'm not sure why you...care so much," yoongi replies cautiously, and tears begin to prick in taehyung's eyes. why he cared so much? god knows why.
"if i could, i wouldn't," taehyung says, almost inaudibly. "i wish i didn't."
"taehyung, i don't-"
"do you really not know?" taehyung asks, borderline hysterically. why couldn't yoongi just see?
"no, i don't understand-"
taehyung is tired. he hated bottling up his feelings. he hated having to keep things a secret. he hated that he was in love with an angel. he was tired of it all. he's tired, and so he just says it.
"it's because i love you," he exhales, defeated. yoongi freezes, but taehyung keeps going. "i love you, and i can't help it. i don't know when or why or how, but i just do, and there is nothing i can do about it. you make it so hard," his voice cracks, "not to love you. i kept telling myself not to, because you're an angel, and what good is a plain human like me going to do for you? i'm not even meant to see you. it would never work, and i kept telling myself that, because you don't feel the same way, but i just couldn't help it. and then you leave for weeks, and i'm just thinking that i've done something wrong, that i don't even deserve to love someone like you. and then you come back, and i want to be mad at you. i tried to be mad at you, i want to be mad at you, but i can't. because i love you, but there's nothing i can do about it."
he finishes, and he can't stop the tears rolling down his cheeks. he wipes them away furiously, dampening the sleeves of his shirt, and he's looking at yoongi through a blurry vision.
a second later, there's a familiar warmth enveloping him, and he's choking, because yoongi's hugging him. he's hugging him, and taehyung is so overwhelmed, and then yoongi is saying, "i'm sorry, please don't cry, tae. please don't cry, i'm sorry." he pulls away slightly, and then taehyung feels a soft pressure on his lips.
yoongi is kissing him. he's kissing him, and it's slow, it's soft, it's consuming, and it is everything. taehyung rests his hands on yoongi's hips, feeling his curves and instantly gripping harder, pulling him closer, as if he was scared of losing him.
the angel pulls back as he wipes away taehyung's tears, "please don't cry, taehyung. i'm sorry."
taehyung wants to be mad, he really does. but he forgives yoongi for leaving, forgives him for everything, because he loves him, and he can't help it. he pulls him into another kiss, before resting his forehead against his, breathing deeply. his heart was exploding.
"taehyung," yoongi says, hesitantly, and fear slowly creeps into his heart. "i really...i shouldn't be...i'm not supposed to-oh fuck it, i love you too. god help me, i've never loved anyone as much as i've loved you, and i've been alive for a long time."
taehyung lets out a watery laugh before he sobers up and ask, "what does this mean, then?" a smile was growing on his face, and he had a feeling that it was going to be there for a while.
"it means what it means," yoongi responds, that small smile that taehyung had grown to love gracing his face. usually, when yoongi gave vague, confusing answers, taehyung would be frustrated, but this time, he doesn't care. "i love you, and you love me."
and taehyung just thinks, in the cheesiest way possible, whatever. it doesn't matter, as long as yoongi is with him.
*
later, when they're walking hand in hand in the park, taehyung finds, to his utter satisfaction, that yoongi indeed was the perfect height for forehead kisses.