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Osomatsu just got back home from an uneventful visit to the pachinko parlor (once again leaving empty handed). He sighed and spoke aloud to himself in a disappointed tone, "I guess luck wasn't on my side today. Glad I used Choromatsu's money instead of mine!", he added with a grin.
As he saw his house coming into view, he started mentally planning his schedule for tomorrow. "Depending on how much money I have, I may or may not go to the horse races. But if I do have enough, I'll ask Jyushimatsu to come with me. Todomatsu will probably be too busy trying to find people he hardly knows to hang out with. Ichimatsu...all depends on his mood. Choromatsu said he's gona go to a concert tomorrow, still don't get why he's so fascinated with that girl. Karamatsu might blind everyone with his painful wardrobe, but he has more money than me..."
He trailed off as he opened the front door, listening for any sign of life.
"I'm home!", he announced as he took his shoes off. No answer in return. Their mom and dad were out on a trip (a.k.a. taking a well deserved break from their NEET sons), so he wasn't expecting to hear them.
He looked around the living room and kitchen, only to find no traces of his brothers. Maybe someone's upstairs, he thought as he ascended the stairs. He didn't hear anything and considered for a second the idea that someone was furiously jacking it, recalling the incident with Choromatsu. He mentally prepared himself for whatever was on the other side of their bedroom door.
Sliding the door open, he said, "Hello!", not quite as loud as before.
Rather than someone fapping, Thank you Akatsuka-sensei, he spotted someone lying down on the couch. Ichimatsu? No... The blue hoodie made him realize that it was instead Karamatsu, curled up like Ichimatsu when he sleeps. Osomatsu could only assume he was asleep since his back was turned towards him, along with the fact that he hardly reacted to him barging into the room.
"Karamatsu?". No reply.
Guess I'll just wait for him to wake up. He grabbed a manga of the bookshelf. The cover had an image of a high school girl beside a white haired boy with dog ears. InuYasha. It was one of Choromatsu's books he had just recently bought and he would not stop gushing over how much he loved it. Putting Choromatsu's wallet down on the bookself and settling down on the floor, Osomatsu began to nonchalantly read it while waiting for the rest of his brothers.
---
An hour passed since Osomatsu got back. Karamatsu was still on the couch and hardly moved (aside from turning over to a different position), and Osomatsu was intently reading the 9th volume.
NO KOHAKU! Don't kill Sango, too! Oh my God, if only they knew it was a trap!
The heart wrenching chapter about the brother and sister made Osomatsu's mind drift towards his own siblings who weren't back yet, prompting him to check the time.
Can't expect them to be back so soon, it's only 2 pm, he thought to himself. Can't go running off to bother them either or they'll just treat me like I don't even exist. Especially Choromatsu & Todomatsu.
Speaking of time, how long has Karamatsu been asleep? When did he even get back?
Now that I think about it, Osomatsu thought to himself, when I left this morning, everyone else announced they were going out, too. Except for Karamatsu. Did he even go out today?
He recalled how Karamatsu has been acting a little standoffish this whole week.
He's been uncharacteristically quiet, he doesn't go out looking for 'Karamatsu Girls', he started wearing less of his perfect fashion (that one was obvious), hardly played his guitar, he wasn't eating as much (as evidenced by his slightly-skinnier-than-usual body), and he was sleeping less. Though Osomastu is a bit of a heavy sleeper (not as much as Jyushimatsu), it's kinda hard not to notice when someone gets up and goes to the roof in the middle of the night. Especially when Osomatsu wakes up at some random time and performs his routine head count only to see that one is missing.
The brothers tend to overlook the fact that Osomatsu is very observant of them. He'll notice when something is bothering his younger siblings and he'll help them in his own way. He can be a dick more often than not, but he cares. Just has a hard time showing it sometimes, a common trait shared among the six of them. Some more than others.
Focusing on the issue in front of him, Karamatsu didn't give any clear sign as to why he was acting that way. It initially didn't seem like anything big, and Karamatsu rarely speaks his mind to avoid bothering others (even though it's bothering Osomatsu that he isn't saying what's wrong). After Choromatsu bought the matter up, Osomatsu concluded that if he doesn't get any better near the end of the week, he'd confront him.
And he didn't. In fact, he got worse. He looked tired and was eating less.
2 days ago, Osomatsu was sitting by their bedroom window and happened to overhear Jyushimatsu and Karamatsu on the roof. They were in the middle of writing a song
when Jyushimatsu paused their process.
"Karamatsu-niisan."
"Yes buraza?"
"Are you okay?", he asks with a shrunken smile.
Taking a second to reply, Karamatsu says, "Yes. I'm just a bit tired is all."
"Well, it's not just that you seem tired, but you don't look happy.", Jyushimatsu says in a concerned tone.
However, as is the norm for Karamatsu, he tried to put his brother at ease with a smile and replied with, "I'm doing fine my little
Jyushimatsu."
If the younger of the two noticed his voice had less of a flair than usual, a slightly forlorn expression accompanying it, he didn't point it out.
After studying Karamatsu's face for a few seconds, his smile grew a little and he says, "Okay! Just making sure! You know you can tell me if something's wrong."
"I'll be sure to do that, do not worry."
But of course, Jyushimatsu worries. And so does Osomatsu. Getting confirmation that Karamatsu was not willing to talk, as well as Choromatsu bringing it up to him, Osomatsu decided to confront Karamatsu at some point when the others were out.
Finally finishing his replay of the week, a little voice in the back of Osomatsu's head immediately nags at him to talk to Karamatsu.
As much as he wanted to continue reading, he listened to the voice and gave into his tingling big brother senses. With a sigh, he closed his book (after marking where he was) and got up to wake Karamatsu. As Osomatsu walked up, he took moment to look at Karamatsu. Dark circles were beginning to form under his eyes, his hair was a little out of whack like he ran his hands through it, and the furrowed eyebrows gave Osomatsu the impression that he was having trouble slipping into a peaceful slumber.
It might be better to just let him sleep and talk to him later..., he paused and considered the suggestion, but immediately shut it down. No, he wouldn't talk if the others were here. Now's the best time.
"Karamatsuuuuu." He shifted slightly, but didn't wake up.
Osomatsu grabbed his shoulder and shook him a little while he called his name again, this time around
succeeding in waking his younger sibling.
"Hm...Osomatsu...?"
"Hey. You doing okay?"
"Of course brother.", he said while yawning. "I was in the middle of a nice nap however."
"Didn't seem that nice to me." Osomatsu sat down beside Karamatsu.
"As much as I want to beat around the bush, I'll just get straight to the point. What's eating at you?"
Taking a moment to think of a response while sitting up, Karamatsu said, "Nothing is wrong, aniki." He used 'aniki' instead of his usual 'buraza' seeing the slightly serious look on Osomatsu.
After waiting for Karamatsu to sit up, Osomatsu says, "Something is obviously wrong." He holds up a hand to prevent Karamatsu from objecting. "You've been acting off for almost 2 weeks now. You're not eating and sleeping as much as you should and you hardly go out. And it shows. C'mon, tell Nii-chan what's wrong."
Avoiding Osomatsu's eyes, Karamatsu debated whether or not he should say anything. It's pretty stupid.
As ready as Osomatsu was to get answers, he was patient and waited for Karamatsu.
"I...", Osomatsu had to strain to hear him because of how quite he was speaking, as well as the fact that he wasn't facing Osomatsu.
"I...just haven't been feeling okay...I guess."
Okay, that's not a lot to go on, but it's something.
"Alright. Do you think you could elaborate? Do you know why you feel that way?"
"...No reason."
The only elicited response from Osomatsu was a soft sigh.
"Karamatsu."
"..."
"Karamatsu.", he said in a firm voice.
Karamatsu didn't answer, but he did look at Osomatsu.
Opting to pry for an explanation, Osomatsu asks, "Are you sick?"
Karamatsu shakes his head.
"Is it our fault you've been acting like this?"
Another shake, faster than the last. "Of course not!"
The eldest almost asked him about his small conversation with Jyushimatsu, but decided against it. It's probably better that I don't mention any of the others. He'll just try even harder to hide his problems. Putting a reassuring hand on Karamatsu's shoulder and looking him in the eye, he said, "Kara, I need to know what's going on with you. It bothers me when my little brothers aren't happy."
"It's...hard to explain."
"...Well, just tell me whatever is going on in your head right now."
"...Okay...um..."
Receiving a look of apprehension from his younger brother, Osomatsu put his arm round Karamatsu's shoulders and pulled him closer.
"It's okay. I'm listening."
"...It's stupid..."
"It's not if it's making you feel like this."
"..."
"Kara..."
"I feel so empty...and really tired...I try to sleep but...every time I try to...I hear this voice and so much noise in my head..."
"..." Osomatsu didn't say anything as Karamatsu paused, but he squeezed his shoulder.
"It keeps saying things...like...'I'm so...tired...of existing'...
As Karamatsu raised a hand to pull at his hair, Osomatsu grabbed and gave it a light squeeze.
"...Whenever I think of that and the..other...things it says...I feel sick...". His voice began to waver a little, looking back towards the floor.
"And when that happens, I lose my appetite. Even when I do have one, I don't feel like I deserve to eat when I'm thinking of myself in such a manner. But I can't stop. I hate how I've been avoiding talking to our brothers, but it's so tiring to talk...just the fact that I'm making you guys worry about me like this is so stupid. I don't deserve to be cared about when all I do is cause pain...to myself and those around me. I'm such a terrible brother...I'm so useless...a waste of space...so weak..."
He became quiet as his vision became blurry from tears. I started rambling again...and I'm crying for no reason...why am I so annoying...
"...Karamatsu."
Karamatsu paused while he was in the midst of wiping tears, to no effect, to look at Osomatsu. The first thing he thinks of doing is apologizing. As he opens his mouth to do so, he is cut off by Osomatsu pulling him forward into a hug. "...You should've told me you were feeling like this." Osomatsu says in a sullen voice as he ran his fingers through Karamatsu's hair. He could feel Karamatsu's breath hitch as he began to sob quietly.
"I-I...didn't want you to know...because it's s-so stupid..."
"I told you it's not stupid. Actually...I'm pretty stupid for not bothering to talk with you sooner."
Karamatsu grasped Osomatsu's hoodie tightly and burrowed his head into his chest. "You're not stupid..."
"Okay then." He only agreed to make him feel better, but he really was stupid to have not done anything before it got this bad. Osomatsu just tightened his hold on Karamatsu. Each second he heard Karamatsu's wails made him feel guiltier than he already did. At least 14 minutes passed by the time Karamatsu calmed down enough to where he wasn't crying anymore, still clinging to Osomatsu. "Karamatsu, please promise me you'll tell when you're feeling like this."
"...But I don't-" "No buts. Don't feel as though you're burdening or embarrassing me, because you're not. I want to-need to help you."
He pulled Karamatsu away from his chest and held his face with both hands. "C'mon, I don't wanna see you looking so upset," he said as he wiped away the tear tracks on Karamatsu's face, "gimme a smile Karamachuuu!"
Not wanting to leave Osomatsu hanging, Karamatsu gave a small, wobbly smile. "Ah~I have the cutest little brother ever!" Osomatsu exclaimed while squishing Karamatsu's cheeks together.
"I-I'm not cute!" Karamatsu said, failing to fight off his blush and growing smile.
Osomatsu countered with, "Hmmm...nope! You're definitely cute! More than Todomatsu! Ah, but don't tell him that, he'll get jealous." As soon as 'jealous' left his mouth, he laid down and pulled Karamatsu with him.
"My sweet, adorable Karamachuuu~!!" he said while nuzzling Karamatsu's head with his cheek. If he didn't know any better, he would've thought the younger one had a fever.
"W-Wait Aniki-" "Call me niisan."
A pause. "Huh!?"
"Call me niisan and I'll stop squeezing you!"
"Seriously..?"
"Yes!" Osomatsu proceeded to squeeze Karamatsu until he got what he wanted.
"A-Alright!"
The eldest stop his playful assault on him so he could hear the sacred words.
"N...nii..san.."
"Kyaaa~Karamachuuuu! You did it! Your reward: tickles & kisses!"
"Wait what-"
As promised, he tickled Karamatsu. "Hahaha! O-Osomatsu, staahap! Haha!"
"No way, I'm enjoying this!" Osomatsu began to laugh as he kept finding one sensitive spot after another, each time making Karamatsu jolt.
"Osomahahatsuuuhu!"
"Say niisan again and I'll stop!" Osomatsu requested with a huge grin on his face.
"N-niisan! Heehee!" "Alright, that's it."
Once Osomatsu finally finished attacking Karamatsu, kissed him on the temple, on the cheek, nose, just about anywhere on his face, while simultaneously feeling the heat emanating from him as he caught his breath. The two finally laid still in silence, listening to each other's heart beats. Karamatsu's head was tucked under Osomatsu's chin while Osomatsu gently ran his fingers through Karamatsu's hair.
"Karamatsu. I love you."
"...I love you, too." The response elicited a soft giggle from the eldest.
"So does everyone else."
"I know."
"We care about you."
"I know."
"...Karamatsu."
"...Yes?"
"You have to promise me. Promise me you'll talk to me when you feel like that. And if it gets really bad, you'll seek professional help."
"...Okay."
Osomatsu looked down atop Karamatsu's head. "Promise?"
Karamatsu, sensing his brother was looking at him, turned his head upwards to meet his eyes. "Promise."
Gaining a soft smile and kiss to the forehead, Karamatsu felt a lot better compared to the last couple of days.
"You feel like going back to sleep?"
"A little..."
"Okay! Time to sleep!"
Hearing a minor protest from Karamatsu over Osomatsu not having enough room on the couch, Osomatsu pulled Karamatsu on top so that he lay on his chest. Much to the second eldest's embarrassment.
"Osomatsu..."
"It's fine. You need to sleep."
"...'Kay."
The exhaustion was finally hitting Karamatsu and, with Osomatsu's body heat, he slipped into the peaceful slumber he's been missing out on.
"...Guess I should join him." Osomatsu soon followed, after kissing Karamatsu's hairline, faintly reminding himself to finish volume 9 later.