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“You know…” Quark let out a sigh, glancing over at Jadzia. “In a way, I’m sort of glad that Pel turned out to be…” He waved his hand vaguely. “You know.”
”A woman?” Dax supplies with a raised eyebrow.
”That.” Quark nodded, swallowing. “For a moment there Pel was making me…question things.” Quark could not explain why he felt the need to explain this to Jadzia. But…she seemed to understand. Dax had been different people of different genders, had been in relationships with a wide array of individuals. Dax herself was very openly…not heterosexual. Perhaps that was why he felt he could speak to her about this…uncomfortable subject.
“Question things.” Jadzia repeated. “You mean…your sexuality?” She asked, lowering her voice slightly.
Quark nodded his head once, his mouth becoming dry. “But it isn’t something I have to worry about, anymore. Pel is a woman. I was attracted to a woman.” He tilted his chin up.
”Quark…” Jadzia said slowly. “Did you find yourself attracted to Pel…before you knew?” She asked.
”I must have always known.” Quark said, avoiding Jadzia’s gaze.
”Quark, if you were attracted to someone who…by all means presented themselves as a man, do you think it’s possible that you may be…attracted to men as well as women?” Jadzia asked, offering him a sympathetic look and placing a comforting hand on Quark’s arm.
Quark didn’t look at her. “That’s…that’s ridiculous.” He mumbled, avoiding her gaze. “Ferengi do not…”
”Quark.” Jadzia squeezed his arm. “Same-sex relationships are a common staple of almost every culture. Cultures that utilize a gender binary, cultures that have a more nuanced idea of gender and sexuality, cultures that are unisex or androgynous-“
”Not Ferengi.” Quark snapped.
Jadzia let out a sigh. “We both know the Ferengi are not…the most socially progressive people.” She put her hand on his back. “Look, Quark, even the humans had their phases where they ‘didn’t believe’ in people that didn’t fit into their cookie cutter ideas of gender and sexuality. But those people fought for the right to be noticed and accepted for who they were.”
”I don’t want to fight.” Quark responded, a small scowl on his face. “I don’t want to start a revolution, Dax. I’m not interested in making a fuss and getting arrested, when I can easily just…” He gestured around them.
”Pretend that you’re not who you are.” Jadzia said softly.
”Precisely.” Quark let out a breath.
Jadzia removed her hand from Quark’s back, looking forward. After a moment of hesitation, she spoke again. “Quark…what if one day…you fall in love with someone-“
”I won’t.” Quark responded, coldly.
”I hope for your sake, you don’t.” Dax said with pity in her eyes. “But if you ever want to talk about something like this…” She shrugged her shoulders, standing up from her seat. “You know where to find me, Quark.”
Quark let out a breath, letting his head fall onto his bar. He shouldn’t have been so cold to her. But Ferengi were thrown in jail for less than that. He had already been threatened with jail time that day. He flirted with everyone. That was easy. Flirting was fine and safe, but actual attraction. Actual attraction to a man…that was dangerous. He lifted his head, smiling ruefully as he thought about all the rules he had already thrown out. All the times he’d gotten too close…what was a little closer? What were a few broken rules on the edge of the frontier? He shook his head. It was a loss of profit. It was…abandoning everything he knew. It was…too risky.
”Quark.” That familiar disapproving voice that often said his name like most people would say a swear word.
”What do you want Odo, can’t you see I’m wallowing?” Quark said, barely lifting his head up to look at the shapeshifter.
”I heard that I left you alone for a few moments and in that time you were nearly arrested by the Grand Nagus.” Odo said. “And I’m not sure whether that means you’ve done something very good or very bad.” He said thoughtfully.
”Depends on who you ask.” Quark grumbled, not bothering to ask how exactly Odo found out. “I…took advice from a Ferengi woman.”
”Out of all the crimes you could have possibly been jailed for.” Odo shook his head.
”I know.” Quark cracked a smile. “But you’d be happy to see me behind bars any way possible, isn’t that right?”
”No.” Odo shook his head.
”No?” Quark’s eyes widened as he looked up at the constable.
”I want it to be a real crime.” Odo responded, leaning down so they were practically nose to nose. “And I want to put you away.”
”You sure know how to charm a man.” Quark said, fanning himself dramatically with his hand. Odo straightened his back, turning to go, but Quark called after him. “Odo?”
”Yes, Quark?” Odo looked at him over his shoulder.
”You know…sometimes I envy you.” Quark said slowly. He was particularly emotionally vulnerable today, and apparently that meant he was confiding in everyone he could find.
”Envy me?” Odo raised an eyebrow, turning back around to face him. “Whatever for?”
”You…you don’t have cultural standards for what you’re supposed to live up to.” Quark shrugged, looking away from Odo. His fingers began absentmindedly tracing shapes on the countertop. “You can pick and choose what feels right.”
”You’re forgetting that I am alone.” Odo responded.
”In a way.” Quark nodded. He felt the need to lighten the mood. He flashed a half-hearted smile the changeling’s way. “But as long as I’m still alive, you'll always have a friendly thorn in your side.”
”Is that a threat or a promise?” Odo responded gruffly, the smallest of smiles touching his features.
”Lets call it a deal.” Quark shrugged, smiling.
”Deal, then.” Odo nodded, once again turning to leave. He hesitated. “Quark, I hope that whatever is troubling you…I hope it doesn’t trouble you much longer.” Odo said awkwardly.m
”The sentiment is appreciated.” Quark responded. “Though you could hardly be considered eloquent.” He teased.
Odo shook his head slightly. “Goodnight, Quark.”
”Goodnight, Odo.”