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Chapter Text

“I’m bored,” Rafael yelled, throwing the magazine he’d been reading on his desk with an annoyed grunt.

Rita was sitting across from him, and she didn’t even blink at his sudden outburst. She merely sighed, unimpressed. “That’s the fourth time in ten minutes you’ve said that.” 

“Because this is preposterous,” he continued yelling, standing up to pace around the room. He pointed accusingly at the magazine. “The same model in six different ads? What the hell is this industry doing?”

Rafael was frustrated, and he felt caged. He’d been trying to get inspiration for his new collection for weeks now, but his sources were scarce. Fashion was changing, and not a lot of people were capable of keeping up with it. 

Those who were once seen as experts had fallen into a trap, critics who were seen as the gatekeepers of sales were grasping at straws, their reviews growing thinner, their interest tumbling down along with Rafael’s patience. His competitors weren’t doing any better than him, and the gossip mill wasn’t any help.

“Rafael, it’s time you stop trying to find inspiration for the new in the old,” Rita said wisely, sitting up. “You need to be the new new. Do you really believe you’re going to find your inspiration in old magazines?”

He shrugged. “That never failed me before.”

“Yes, because you were young, and you could see what the industry was missing,” she rolled her eyes when he scoffed. “Now it’s not missing anymore, because you delivered it.”

“I know,” Rafael said stubbornly. “But I don’t even know where to begin, and I’m not going down the ‘futuristic’ route. That’s for decadent houses who can’t reinvent themselves, so they fall into the old cliché of space, aliens and all metallic colors under the sun.”

“Then reinvent yourself,” Rita said as it if were obvious. “I’ve got a few new numbers on my phone I’ve been saving for when you next needed it. Seems like you do now, doesn’t it?”

“What, a casting?,” he raised an eyebrow. “How is looking at amateur, inexperienced models going to help me, Rita?”

“You never know what might come to our door,” she smirked. “Maybe looking at some pretty boys will spark something in you.”

Rafael chuckled humorlessly. “The urge to trash this atelier, perhaps.”

“You’re halfway there already, why not give it good reason?”

“Fine,” he huffed. “Set your goddamn casting. This better not be a waste of my time, Calhoun.”

“Oh yes, I wouldn’t want to jeopardize the time you spend looking at the walls and grunting at your drawings,” Rita teased with a little smile, then stood up. “I’ll make some calls.”

“Soon, Rita!,” he called after her as she walked away. Her only reply was slamming the door behind herself. 

Rafael let out a loud, long sigh as the sixth man he’d seen that afternoon left the studio, taking 10 minutes of Rafael’s life he’d never get back with him. 

“This is pointless,” he said frustratingly, turning to look at Rita from the little corner of the room he was semi-hiding in. “Is this really the best you can do?”

Rita rolled her eyes, annoyed. “Rafael, please. Have I ever let you down?”

“Yes,” he said, exasperated. Rafael made a dramatic gesture with his hand that indicated what he’d just seen in front of him. “Right now.”

“We’re not done,” she bit back at him through gritted-teeth, and Rafael huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as the door opened again with a loud, metallic clang .

“Hi,” the model greeted, stepping closer to Rita and handing her his headshot. “I’m here for the casting?”

“Yes, Dominick Carisi,” Rita smiled pleasantly at him. “I called you myself. Rita Calhoun.”

“Ah, it’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” he beamed, nodding politely. “What do you need from me?”

“Let’s start with a standard walk please,” Rita pointed at the space in front of her. “Away from me, then back.”

Rafael watched, interested, as the man turned towards him. Then he was immediately hooked. 

His face was perfect. It looked incredibly soft, even from a slight distance. It was completely unblemished, and his complexion was so smooth, if he stayed still long enough Rafael would even suspect it was carved out of marble. 

His eyes were blue, but as Dominick started walking towards Rafael and their eyes met, he could swear he saw a bit of a grey hue in it, making it look almost like glass. His lips were pouty, and pink, and his bottom lip looked good enough to bite into.

And his hair. That was a mystery. It looked light brown, dark blond, silver, grey, white. A color palette that was so fascinating Rafael’s fingers itched for a pencil and paper. Or maybe to run his fingers through the strands and watch the colors change right at his fingertips. 

This man was, to Rafael’s eyes, a shapeshifter. As he walked around the room, looking neutral and intense at the same time, Rafael was fascinated by how the light danced over his hair, how it reflected in his eyes, and how his long eyelashes fluttered minutely when he reached the end of his walk. Instead of striking his pose for Rita, he turned back to Rafael, a coy expression flashing across his face for a short second.

“Could you please strip down to your underwear?,” Rita requested from behind him, not bothered in the slightest by Dominick’s choice to turn his back to her.

Dominick’s cheeks flushed oh so prettily Rafael had to hold back a predatory smirk. It was a shade of pink that didn’t quite match his rosy lips, and a whole collection of pink hues sprung to the front of his mind. It was a delicious sight.

Pink, with flashes of grey and icy blue. Peach, with contrasting milky white. Dominick Carisi was the walking palette of dreams, and Rafael pushed off the wall to step closer to him as he stripped down, depositing his discarded clothes on the chair beside Rita’s desk. 

Rita’s eyes immediately found him, and her lips twitched up at the corners as her eyes sparkled, satisfied. She knew what it meant, because Rafael never moved, he never actively participated, but he just had to take a closer look. 

The flush that had taken over Dominick’s cheeks ran down his neck, to his chest, and it was amazing to watch the color spread across pale skin, taking over the milky color without preamble. 

Rafael was pleased to see Dominick was in good shape, but he wasn’t bulky nor boxy. His shoulders were broad, but his waist was narrow. There was only a dusty shadow of abs on his stomach, but it was really the golden trail of hair that caught Rafael’s eyes, which roamed down from the impressive bulge in his boxers to his thick, strong thighs, and legs that went on and on for days. 

Once again, the words ‘carved out of marble’ came to Rafael. His muscles were well-toned despite his supposed lanky form. Maybe ‘lanky’ wasn’t the right word, perhaps lean was more accurate. Elegant, even. Almost regal in the way he stood, blushing, but unapologetic. Pretty.

It probably wasn’t a good idea, but Rafael rounded him slowly, feasting on the free view of a really attractive man. 

Suddenly, Dominick cleared his throat. “You want me to walk again?,” he asked. Rafael smiled, amused. No other model ever dared to speak without being prompted. Most of them were utterly, although unfairly, terrified of him and Rita. 

Rita looked at Rafael, giving him the reins.

“That won’t be necessary, Mr. Carisi,” Rafael said as nicely as possible. “You can put your clothes back on. I’ve seen more than enough.”

Dominick’s blush deepened. “You can call me Sonny,” he said, reaching for his pants. “Everyone does.”

Rafael chuckled. “Alright, Sonny. Thank you for coming. We’ll get back to you soon.” 

“Okay, thank you,” he beamed brilliantly, offering Rafael a hand to shake. “It’s been a pleasure, Mr. Barba.” 

“The pleasure is all mine,” Rafael said, and smirked when Sonny blushed, once again.

Sonny waved Rita goodbye, thanked them both again, then left. 

Rafael’s mind was already turning, going about a hundred miles per hour, and his fingers twitched again. 

He grabbed his sketchbook from his own desk and started making quick notes, almost snapping the tip of his pencil in his rush to get it all written down quickly. 

Rita sat quietly, waiting for him to be done. He knew she probably had a couple things to say about Sonny - and about Rafael’s reaction to him -, but it would have to wait, because Rafael had an idea, and when he got an idea, nothing else mattered. 

“I need a woman,” he suddenly blurted out, still making notes and quick drafts of cuts for blazers. 

Rita laughed openly. “That’s something I have never heard you say, and never thought I would.”

“Very funny,” Rafael mumbled dryly without even looking at her. “Someone new, tall, as tall as Sonny, blonde, blue eyes, pale.” 

“Have I fallen and hit my head?,” Rita snapped, not amused. “What the hell do you need a woman for? Have you finally listened to the critics and decided to go into women’s fashion?” 

“Not necessarily,” Rafael looked up, his pencil still running over the paper for a couple moments even though he wasn’t looking. “I’ll explain it if you can find me that model. Can you?”

Rita raised an eyebrow at him. “Rafael. Have I ever let you down?”

Rafael smiled at her. “No, Rita. Never.”

She immediately reached for her phone, and Rafael went back to his drawings. He’d found his inspiration, but he had a long way to go before he could fully build his vision. He would need to see Sonny again. And soon.

Chapter Text

Ever since he’d met Sonny, Rafael had been sketching nonstop. He’d committed his long legs, flat chest and broad shoulders to mind, mentally dressing him in the finest fabrics and cuts. The color palette he had in front of him were hues of Sonny, milky white, peachy, pink, icy blue and grey.

Rafael had mixed everything until the sequence of colors looked as soft as Sonny had. No harsh colors, no metallics, only soft, matte, muted tones that would accentuate the man in question.

He had never had a muse. In interviews, Rafael always said he drew inspiration from what he himself wanted to see in the world. He was able to notice the vacancies, the spaces that weren’t explored, the lack of something beautiful he just couldn’t bear to go without anymore. It all always sprung to his mind out of nowhere, but in a way, so had Sonny Carisi.

Rafael never saw him coming, and now all of his drawings reflected him.

He wanted to see him again, to drape fabric over him, to measure expanses of velvet, silk and lace. He needed to see how the blue would look against his eyes, how the white would contrast when he blushed again under Rafael’s watchful gaze. He was dying to know if the pink he’d chosen would match his lips.

But before Rafael could do that, he need to find his other model. Someone who would look like a perfect match, because they were both going to be wearing the finale look, the exact same finale look.

Rafael kept going back and forth to his drawing, erasing and restarting. He needed to get the exact, precise cut for the suit to work on both of them. He didn’t want it to look feminine on Sonny, but it also couldn’t look masculine on the other model. He wanted people to question who this piece really was for.

There was no room for “oh, he put a man’s suit on a woman”. No. It was a suit. There was no gender assigned to said suit. It wasn’t about androgyny, it was genderless. And that was the statement Rafael was trying to build with his closing. It was only going to be a little taste of what was to come, because his next collection was already burning on the back of his mind.

Before then, however, he had a few bridges to burn.

Rafael worked on his sketches all day, and soon the sun was coming down and casting a shadow inside the atelier. It was the perfect time to test the fabrics in another light, so he pulled everything off his desk and set it on the floor, side by side.

He walked around the room, observing the colors shift as he looked at it from different angles. The darker the room became, the more neutral the palette turned, and suddenly he wasn’t so sure about it. He hadn’t seen Sonny in the low light, he didn’t know if these shades were correct for him.

Rafael had to see Sonny again.

“Rafael,” Rita greeted as she walked into his atelier, the loud clicking of her heels echoing in the room. “I have someone I’d like you to meet.”

He immediately perked up. “Did you find her?,” he asked eagerly, looking at the door, then frowned when Olivia walked in. “Rita, I’m not saying your wife isn’t gorgeous, but she’s not blonde, nor does she have blue eyes, and I did ask for tall.”

“That’s very funny coming from you,” Olivia teased, approaching him to greet him with a kiss in each cheek. “I’m taller than you.”

Olivia had started along with him, both going into school for fashion design and coming out with successful collections and building their brands alongside each other. They had collaborated before, Rafael wanting to get a taste of women’s fashion, and Olivia curious about men’s.

That was how Olivia met Rita, Rafael’s trusty business partner, and they got married less than two years later. Rafael had been surprised by the outcome, but Rita’s cold and detached demeanor had only warmed up in the time they’d been together, and he’d seen Olivia flourish even more in the arms of someone who supported and loved her wholeheartedly.

They just made perfect sense, and Rafael was happy for them.

“It’s lovely to see you again, Liv,” Rafael teased. “But I’m sorry, you’re not blonde enough for me.”

Olivia chuckled, amused. “Fair enough. Rita told me about your request and I think I may have found your model. Alex, come on in,” she called in the direction of the door.

In came just what Rafael needed - a tall, blonde woman with blue eyes and legs that never seemed to end. She was just a couple inches shorter than Sonny, Rafael immediately noticed, but he’d make that work because she had the perfect complexion for the colors he had in mind.

“Alex, right?,” Rafael greeted politely.

“Yes, Alex Cabot,” she replied with a small nod.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Rafael Barba,” he said pleasantly, then tilted his head. “Would you be willing to put extensions in your hair?”

Alex shrugged. “Sure.”

The model’s hair was just below her shoulders, but Rafael wanted it to cascade down her back until it reached her tailbone. He wanted it to look like a golden waterfall.

“Do you want me to walk?,” Alex asked, looking unimpressed. Rafael almost laughed, but only nodded instead, watching as she did a 360º around the room and stopped again in front of him. Her expression remained neutral, and he didn’t particularly like that, but they could work on it given that her walk was more than satisfactory.

“Great. Have you got any tattoos?,” Rafael asked, going back to his desk to find his measuring tape.

“No, but I have a birthmark on my shoulder,” Alex said, then reached for the top buttons of the dress she was wearing. “I’ll show you.”

Rafael was glad he didn’t need to ask her to undress. It was a given that, in castings, the models did have to strip, but some of them didn’t appreciate that idea very much. And as much as Rafael tried to respect that, it was a good thing that Alex seemed to be the no nonsense type and got right to it.

The simple black dress Alex was wearing fell to the ground and she stepped out of it, stopping in front of Rafael again with no preamble. He went around her, examining her body with a clinical eye. The birthmark was miniscule, and she’d be wearing a suit anyway, it wouldn’t show. Her legs really were exceptionally long, and she was so blonde even the hairs on her arms looked golden.

His vision seemed to be coming to life right in front of him, and he was dying to see Alex standing next to Sonny.

“Perfect,” he decided when he came back around. “Rita, could you get Sonny back here tomorrow morning? I’d like to see him and Alex together.”

“When are you going to tell me where you’re going with this?,” Rita asked with an eyebrow raised, taking the tape from Rafael’s hand and going around measuring Alex as he wrote the numbers down.

“Tomorrow,” he promised with a smile. “It’ll make sense with the two of them together.”

“Rafael, are you designing women’s clothes?,” Olivia asked, intrigued, as she peeked at Rafael’s drawings on his desk. “I’m not sure I want the competition,” she joked.

He hummed noncommittally. “Not necessarily. I’m telling you, it’ll make sense tomorrow. Alex, would you interested in closing for me?”

With a satisfied glint in her eye and a charming smirk, Alex nodded. “More than.”

Chapter Text

When Sonny walked into Rafael’s atelier the next morning, he barely even gave him enough time to take off his shirt before he started draping fabric over his shoulders and around his waist. He could feel that Sonny was positively vibrating, and Rafael was afraid he’d accidentally stab the man with a pin if he didn’t hold still. 

“These colors are beautiful,” Sonny said in awe as he ran his fingers over the fabric that Rafael was wrapping over his chest.

Rafael hummed. “I’m not sure yet.”

“Really?,” he frowned. “Well, I’d say you’re on the right path regardless.” 

He didn’t reply to that, way too used to models talking him up and trying to flatter him. It didn’t matter how genuine Sonny sounded, Rafael had a job to do, and it involved kneeling at eye-level with Sonny’s crotch. 

Rafael noticed the other man became more fidgety when he started pinning his inseam, and scowled. 

“If you don’t stop, I’ll end up prickling your skin by accident,” he said curtly, and Sonny immediately stilled.

“I’m sorry,” Sonny breathed. 

Sonny was quiet and still long enough for Rafael to finish pinning the fabric the way he wanted, but as soon as he stood up and stepped away, Sonny started twisting and turning to get a better look of himself. 

Rafael couldn’t help but chuckle at the image he made and how much it reminded him of a puppy. “There’s a mirror over there,” he pointed, and watched attentively as Sonny moved.

The fabric seemed good enough, but not great . And Rafael wanted more than great. 

He rounded Sonny, shaking his head as he went, as the other man smiled at himself in the mirror.

“It’s not right,” Rafael sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s not good enough.”

“No, it’s really good,” Sonny said sympathetically. “But if you don’t like it, what can I do to help? We can try other stuff. Do you have other sketches? I’m free for the day, we can stay here and try everything you want.”

Rafael smiled at him, reaching over to unpin the draping. “I’d like to see you in a low light.” 

Sonny blinked rapidly. “Okay. You mean at night?”

“Dusk,” he said, pulling the fabric away to reveal Sonny’s milky skin being overtaken by the pinky blush with which he was so charmed. 

“Okay, okay,” he nodded, grabbing his shirt. “I can stay, no problem.”

Rafael went back to his desk, taking off the straps of fabric he had taped to his drawings with a frustrated sigh. Fabric sourcing was one of the most complicated parts of each collection. It really was something that could make or break the entire show, and Rafael couldn’t bare to get even the most basic of undertones wrong. 

He pulled his initial color palette back onto his desk, pulling it over his sketches, putting one on top of the other, turning his side lamp on and off on top of each one of them. 

From the contrast he’d seen over Sonny’s skin, he was able to discard three other tones, and decided to collect warmer shades. The icy blue was too icy, and the peach was too pastel, it just didn’t go with Sonny.

Speaking of the man, Rafael lifted his head to see what he was doing. The atelier was quiet, and for a moment Rafael thought maybe Sonny had left. But then he spotted the man coming around from behind a clothing rack, wearing one of Rafael’s suits from two seasons ago. 

When he caught Rafael looking, he did a little spin, smiling. “This is incredible, Mr. Barba. I’ve always been a fan of your brand, it looks really luxury, but it’s really something else when you put it on. I look like a million bucks, right?!”

Rafael laughed, shaking his head fondly. “You do. If only I could put that in the price tag.” 

“Well, I definitely can’t afford it, but if you ask me, it’s worth more than that,” he said, still smiling as he ran his hands down his lapels.

“Keep it,” Rafael heard himself say. 

“What?,” Sonny blinked. 

“Keep the suit,” he shrugged. “It looks good on you. It seems to be your size, yeah?”

“I can’t, Mr. Barba--”

“Call me Rafael,” Rafael interrupted. “I have a feeling we’ll be working together for a while, there’s no need for formalities.” 

“Okay,” Sonny nodded, and his smile returned slowly as he looked down at himself. “Thank you, this is really amazing.”

Just then, as Sonny walked around in his new suit, Rafael had an idea.

“Can you walk in heels?,” he asked, and Sonny stopped his pacing, surprised.

“I mean,” Sonny blushed. Again. Rafael smiled. “I’ve only tried it a couple times, as a joke. I have three sisters, so I’ve put on heels, dresses, makeup, the whole nine yards. It was either that, or playing alone in my room. That gets old after a while.”

Rafael smirked. “I’ll ask Olivia to find some your size,” he looked down at Sonny’s feet. “They might have to be custom-made, though.”

As if on cue the door opened and Rita walked in with Olivia and Alex, the three chatting amicably with coffee cups in hand. Olivia, bless her beautiful soul, had a travelling tray with two extra cups and Rafael made a beeline for her. 

“You have always and will always be my favorite, you amazing, amazing woman” he told Olivia as he gave his drink a wide-eyed look and took a sip. 

“I’m married,” was Olivia’s teasing reply as she offered Sonny the last cup. “You must be Sonny. I’ve heard nothing but great things about you.”

“Olivia Benson,” Sonny half-gasped, his hand stopping mid-air towards his coffee. “It’s so great to meet you. When Rafael mentioned you I had no idea he meant the Olivia Benson.”

Olivia laughed, shrugging casually. “Rafael’s not one to brag. You look great, by the way. Fall of 2017, right?”

Rafael smirked, nodding. “A classic.” 

“Alright, this is very nice, but we’re here, and I’d like to know what is it that you’re spending my money on,” Rita interrupted impatiently. 

“Spoilsport,” Rafael huffed. “Alright, Alex, could you please stand next to Sonny?”

Alex did so with feline steps, standing shoulder-to-shoulder next to Sonny with a neutral expression as Sonny beamed. Rafael almost started clapping. They looked like siblings - Sonny, despite being just a smidge taller, had the over-eager little brother disposition as Alex seemed to be the unimpressed, cool older sister.

“This is perfect,” Rafael grinned. “You’re both going to close my show.”

Alex and Sonny looked at each other with an excited glint in their eyes, nodding. 

“Excuse me?,” Rita asked beside him. “A double finale? Rafael, we both know that doesn’t work.”

“No, no,” he shook his head. “It’s one single finale, they’re walking out together, wearing the exact same suit.”

Rita blinked at him, uncertain, as Olivia tilted her head, curious. Alex and Sonny, for their part, were looking more and more excited by the second. 

“I need to sit down,” Rita said, going over to her desk. “Start explaining, Barba.” 

As everyone took their seats, Rafael took a few drawings from his desk and started his monologue. 

“It all came to me the day Sonny came in for the casting, because the first word that came to my mind when I saw him was ‘pretty’,” he paused as everyone turned to look at Sonny, who predictably flushed, then turned back to Rafael with an agreeing nod. “And I was reminded of how that adjective is often used to refer to women.”

He saw Rita raise her eyebrow at that, and he knew she probably had a thing or two - or three - to say about that, but this wasn’t a discussion group, and he wasn’t done.

“But why? It’s 2019,” he protested. “And why does everyone keep asking me to go into women’s fashion? I never said my clothes were for men. I’ve only ever had male models, that’s true, my mistake. But I’m changing that now,” Rafael said proudly, his chest puffing out as he stood in the middle of the room, then turned to Alex and Sonny. “You two are going to close my show, and you’re going to be the face of my reinvention.”

“How, exactly?,” Rita asked, and Rafael was happy to notice she didn’t look uncertain anymore.

“They’re going to wear the exact same suit for the finale, and it’s going to be a genderless suit,” he said, and Olivia immediately leaned forward, attentive. “No feminine or masculine cut, I don’t want to hear those words ever again in my studio. My clothes are for whoever wants to wear it.”

“Clothes don’t know sexuality, they don’t know gender, they don’t care about who’s wearing it,” Rafael said passionately. “Clothes are expression, they’re a way to showcase your values and beliefs, and I believe you can wear whatever the fuck you want, social ideals be damned. And that’s the path we’re taking from now on. This collection is going to make a statement and the next --,” he smirked. “The next is saying fuck all to gender norms.” 

Sonny immediately started clapping, and Rita and Olivia chuckled at him as Alex threw him an annoyed look. His claps stopped once he realized he was alone in his blatant enthusiasm, but Rafael smiled at him in appreciation. 

“Well, you’ve done it again, Rafael,” Rita said proudly. “You’ve found exactly what the industry needs.” 

Rafael preened, then turned around in a flourish and made his way to his desk. “Then let’s get started.” 

Chapter Text

Once they began sewing and building the collection, things became frantic in Rafael’s atelier. Models, designers and seamstresses coming and going at all hours of the day, naked people running from one side of the room to the other, fabric on the ground, and an excessive amount of pins gathering over desktops.

It was a disaster Rafael was used to, and loved, but one of the things he was quickly becoming accustomed to was Sonny’s presence. The man came in everyday, even when he didn’t need to, to check on everything and offer to try pieces as they came out of the sewing machine.

It didn’t take long for Rafael to notice that the tall, charming man was reflected in every single one of the pieces he’d created so far, and he’d become addicted to dressing him, even when the garment wasn’t for Sonny especifically.

“You’re obsessed with him,” Rita pointed out with a fond shake of her head two weeks in. They were staying late at the atelier, as they often did, Rafael sewing hamlines and Rita dressing the mannequins scattered around the room.

“Obsessed?,” he chuckled. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“Look around you, Rafael,” she sighed. “Do yourself a favor and ask the man out.”

“I have other concerns at the moment,” Rafael mumbled, still running fabric through the expert niddle.

“Don’t you always?,” Rita approached him and leaned against his desk with her arms crossed. “You always use work as an excuse. How long has it been?”

“This isn’t an excuse,” he protested, looking up at her, the machine paused. “This is my life’s work, I don’t have time to entertain tall, dimpled models.”

“Alright, then when this season’s over, your next collection will be your life’s work, then the next, and the next. But there’s more to life than this,” she said, waving a hand above her head.

Rafael scoffed. “Since when?”

“Since I married Olivia,” Rita said assertively. “This all became secondary to me, then. It’s not about coming in to work anymore, it’s about going home to her at the end of the night. You deserve that too, Rafael.”

“I think I need another business partner,” he said curtly, going back to his work with a frown.

“Would you say that to Olivia’s face?,” she challenged, and Rafael let out a long, frustrated sigh.

“I’m happy for you, Rita. I love you, and I love Olivia, and I’m glad you’re living a great life together, it’s just not what I need for myself,” Rafael said as evenly as he could. He couldn’t let his deepest, purest wishes come to light.

“You’re saying you don’t need love?,” Rita asked with a sad look, tilting her head to give him a disappointed sigh. “You deserve it, Rafael. You’ve given your life to creating things for other people to love. Let someone love you, too.”

“I don’t know why you’re so hung up on this love thing. I’ve known the guy for like a month, and I’m not even sure he’s into men.”

Rita let out a loud, ironic laugh. “Oh, he’s into you alright. He follows you around like a puppy who fell off a truck. He practically drools on you everytime he’s close to you, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

Rafael had, indeed, noticed. But he never let himself dwell on what Sonny’s looks meant. The man was nice and talkative to everyone. He’d made friends with all the other models at this point, and Rafael had watched him dazzle his entire team.

“The man is like a social butterfly, Rita, he likes everybody,” he scoffed.

“He does like everybody,” she agreed with an amused grin. “But not as much as he likes you.”

“What are you, 12? This isn’t high school, I don’t have time for this,” Rafael turned back to his sewing machine, but before he could get it going again, Rita grabbed his arm.

“Invite him out for a coffee, that’s all I ask. Go out with him, once, if by the end of it you think I’m bullshitting you, I’ll never bring this up again.”

Rafael rolled his eyes as hard as he could. “Fine. Now go home to your wife and leave me alone.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Rita pushed off the desk and went back to hers to grab her bag, her heels tapping consistently on the floor. “See you tomorrow. And don’t forget: ask pretty boy out.”

“Bye, Calhoun,” he said, then started the machine again.

“I brought you something,” was the first thing Sonny said to Rafael when he came into the atelier the next day.

He deposited a box on top of Rafael’s desk with a huge smile, and the designer turned on his chair with obvious interest as he eyed the logo on top. It was from a nearby bakery, and Rafael had always had a sweet tooth.

With a small satisfied smile, Rafael lifted the lid to find a big array of cannoli.

“You’re already closing my show, Sonny, what else are you trying to bribe out of me?,” he asked jokingly, reaching for the Italian dessert with no hesitation.

Sonny looked sheepish. “Not bribe, no. I was just thinking -- I know you’re really busy right now, but maybe after the show, would you like to go get some coffee maybe? Or a drink? Whatever you’d like.”

Rafael threw Rita a quick look. She was on the very opposite side of the room, dressing another model as they chatted quietly. She wasn’t paying them any mind, but for a second Rafael did wonder if she had put Sonny up to this.

She gave no indication of that, so Rafael looked at Sonny again. The other man looked expectant, almost nervous, and Rafael’s lack of apparent enthusiasm caused him to start fidgeting in place. He knew that if he waited a few more seconds in silence, Sonny would retract the invitation and brush it off.

Rafael did not want that.

“I was thinking the same myself,” he said, and Sonny’s smile grew so wide it positively lit up his whole face. “But I was considering we could go today, actually.”

Sonny’s eyes widened. “Today?”

“Yeah, if you’re not busy. We could go to lunch. There’s a little place down the street that serves some nice artesanal burgers.”

“I’d love that,” he nodded. “Yeah, yeah. For sure.”

“Great,” Rafael chuckled, then reached over for the pants he’d just finished sewing. “Could you try these on?”

“You know, I often wait until after the first date to take my pants off in front of a hot guy,” Sonny said, then blushed bright pink.

Rafael couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. “I’m glad we’re past that stage, then.”

“Not really,” Sonny smirked.

“What do you mean?”

Sonny’s blush deepened, and he hesitated only for a moment before he said, “You haven’t taken off your pants yet.”

Rafael wanted to laugh out loud at the comment, and the coy way Sonny was looking at him didn’t help, but the room was full of people and he didn’t want to draw extra attention to the two of them and burst their little bubble. So he held it back, and smirked wickedly.

“Buy our lunch and we’ll see where it goes,” he said flirtatiously, then winked.

Sonny got his leg tangled up on his pants then and almost fell on his face. At that, Rafael really couldn’t help but laugh.

Chapter Text

Rafael stood back as he watched his designs go down the runway one by one. Once the show had started, his nerves were gone, replaced by a tremendous feeling of pride that only grew at every gasp, every clap he heard from the audience.

Rita was backstage, barking orders here and there because she never coped well with seeing the designs being presented to the world. His team made sure to follow every single one of her requests until she finally stopped.

They were halfway through now, and Rafael looked over to see Carmen putting the last touches on Sonny and Alex. They looked magnificent, and Rafael smiled as the two held hands and smiled tightly, clearly nervous.

Constructing their suits had been a labour of many hours, many trials and errors, many outbursts from both him and Rita, but the final result was breathtaking. The cut was measured to its mathematical perfection, and fit both Alex and Sonny like a glove.

Rafael had managed to create a genderless piece in the way that it accentuated both their bodies without the need to assign ideals of “feminine” and “masculine”.

In the end, he had decided against Sonny walking the runway in heels. As much as it pained him to admit it, stilettos were perceived as a trademark of femininity, and he didn’t want anyone to say Sonny was wearing women’s clothes because of that.

However, the many hours Sonny had walked around the studio, a full head taller than Rafael as he practiced, had been very entertaining to watch.

“Hey,” he heard softly behind him, and turned to find Sonny smiling at him. He was ready to go on now, and he looked so beautiful Rafael’s breath caught for a moment. “Everything looks amazing, Rafael.”

“Thank you,” he smiled back. “You look gorgeous.”

Sonny blushed, and Rafael wanted to kiss him.

Their lunch date had gone perfectly, and Rafael wasn’t afraid to admit that he was enchanted by this man. But given the deadline weighting on Rafael’s shoulders, they’d both been too busy to explore it any further.

However, as the closing of his show approached, Rafael feelings became even louder.

“This is a beautiful piece,” Sonny said in awe. “You’ve outdone yourself, and I’m positive tomorrow you’ll receive so many calls from buyers that your phone’s gonna explode.”

Rafael laughed. “Thank you, Sonny. I hope so.”

“Sonny,” Alex called, and she looked beautiful with her hair slicked back and red lipstick. “We’re almost up.”

Sonny nodded at her, then gave Rafael a reassuring smile. “You ready?”

Rafael smirked. “I was born ready.”

Sonny winked, beaming, then went to stand beside Alex. When the model before them walked back and the runway was empty, the lights went out for a beat, then one single spotlight lit up in front of Sonny and Alex.

In synch, they stepped in, and everyone was silent for a moment, then the murmurs started.

Sonny’s and Alex’s each step fell into place as they walked, their rhythm so perfect it looked like they were linked. Camera flashes exploded when they reached the end of the catwalk, and people were clapping, cheering.

Rafael smiled as he looked at the amazed expressions from the audience. Magazine editors writing furiously on notepads, bloggers snapping Instagram pictures, photographers elbowing each other for a better look. People were in a frenzy, and both his and Rita’s phones started ringing at the same time.

He ignored it, though, because Sonny and Alex were making their way back, and they were holding hands again. They really looked like siblings, to the point it was a little scary.

When they arrived backstage, both had huge smiles on their faces, and Sonny turned to pull Alex into a hug as she laughed, pleased.

“That was amazing,” Sonny said with a laugh, squeezing Alex in his arms before he let her go and turned to Rafael. “Did you see their faces? They were so shocked, then everyone just lost their minds. You are everything, Rafael.”

Rafael could feel something expand inside himself, like his heart just got too big inside his own chest, and before he could process what he was doing, he pulled Sonny in for a kiss.

Around them, people were cheering, clapping, chanting ‘finally’, but Rafael was lost in the way Sonny kissed him back, his hands falling softly on Rafael’s hips, sighing against his lips, melting into it.

“Rafael!,” Rita snapped suddenly, but not as viciously as he’d normally expect from her. “The lineup!”

A little disoriented, Rafael pulled back, and Sonny immediately smiled, a brilliant smile. But all the models were already lined up for the final walk, and Sonny and Alex had to join them at the end.

So he pecked Sonny on the lips quickly and pushed him towards the line. “We’ll talk later,” he whispered.

The line of models strutted down the runway, and Rafael waited with bated breath for them to stop so he could walk down for the final bow. The crowd went wild when he stepped out, and the models were clapping as he thanked everybody, deep emotion clawing at him.

Alex and Sonny each reached for his hand and pulled him to the center of the runway, cheering for him as he went.

The lights almost blinded him, flashes exploding from every direction. The screams just got louder and louder, but he couldn’t stop smiling.

In that moment, every single night of frustration, every drawing he ripped into pieces, every fabric he discarded, everything was worth it, and he knew he had delivered the collection of his dreams.

But when he turned and looked at Sonny, he remembered what Rita said about there being more than that to life. And while this really was his life’s work and he was extremely proud, it couldn’t be his whole life, and he could see that now.

He saw it in the way Sonny was smiling at him, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. He could see it in the way Sonny’s cheeks colored under his appraising gaze, in the way Sonny squeezed his hand as they walked back down the runway.

He felt it in the way that Sonny hugged him backstage, not saying a word, breathing deeply against Rafael’s neck, his body solid and warm under his hands.

He felt it when Sonny kissed him again, a gentle touch that spoke of reverence, of pride and happiness. His soft, pink lips that had been a source of insight for Rafael.

And when they pulled apart, he heard it, clear as day, in the way that Sonny whispered his name, filled with awe, like an oath.

“Thank you,” Rafael whispered back, touching his rosy cheek lightly. His face always looked so, so perfect.

Sonny’s eyes softened, so blue, and he rested their foreheads together, his nose brushing Rafael's with a little happy hum.

Rafael had a world of people waiting for him to come out for congratulations and pats on the back, for interviews, autographs, and pictures. He had calls to return, emails to answer, and editorials to plan. He had models to thank, clothes to pack, a team to celebrate with.

But right now, there was no other place he’d rather be.