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Tana hit the ground first, stomach screaming with pain, molten-hot blood staining her shirt and shorts.
“Ow-“
Her back complained at the furnace burning into her spine, legs roasted alive from behind.
“Ohhh, my God!!”
She hopped upright, spinning stars of upset leaving her disoriented and confused.
“What was that!?”
-A second thud!
“Ow, ow, ow right in the same spot-“
Hidden in the floof of pinky-lavender dress was a certain Hollywood Star.
Her neck was bleeding dry, chest sliced open and also bleeding…
“Gabbie!”
The Pin-Up Girl hurried to help her up, despite feeling light-headed with shock and half-high over the adrenaline rush of the past few minutes.
The past few disastrous minutes.
“Are you okay?”
“No-“
She fell onto Tana, sucking in deep breaths so she wouldn’t collapse.
“We f*ing died again!!”
Her fingers balled into a fist and slammed into the blonde’s shoulder.
Over and over and over and over-
“Gabbie-Gabbie!”
“What?
“That hurts!”
“Well I’m sorry, I’m just-“
“I know”.
Tana slung an arm under the other woman’s arm pits, supporting her even though both of their high-heels were teetering on the uneven, baking ground.
“I’m mad too! I wanted to get out of this h* alive!!”
“Think that’s where we are now”, Gabbie half-laughed half-cried…
A jagged plain of red-and-black rock, occasionally fracturing and splitting into rifts filled to the brim with lunging brimstone and fire.
Screams danced across the horizon, shrill and blood-curdling.
They stumbled for balance as their new world shook.
Quaking like the hungry bellows of some disappointed lava monster.
“I hate this place!”
Inches from their toes, a fissure crackled open.
Yellow flames lurched into their faces, and they screamed!
“Ahhhh, no magma! No!!”
“I’m gonna get burned to a crisp!”
Smoke floated in waves just in front of her eyes.
“My hat! My hat-!!”
Gabbie whipped it off and tossed it a good foot away!
“SAFE-“
They careened backwards, routinely yelping and swearing at the various geysers of liquid death.
“F*, f*! Where do we stand-!?”
“I don’t think we’re supposed to stand anywhere-!“
“So then what? Are we just supposed to fall in and drown!!?”
“I don’t know! What are you supposed to do in H*!?”
Tana could feel the makeup sweating down her face.
Gabbie’s eyeliner was leaving black trails down her cheeks…
“I don’t know, get punished!?”
“Eew!! Ewewew-“
The flesh on her fingers was beginning to peel off and droop as if it were candle wax.
“Aaaagh, Tana! Your lips are melting!!”
“Yours are too-“
“We’ve gotta get out of here!”
“How!?”
“I don’t know, find a way to Satan and ask him to let us out!?”
“Well where is he? And what if he’s hot?”
“Tana, I don’t care about that right now!!”
“I know, I know-“
“I’m really beginning to hate the phrase ‘I don’t know’!”
Looking everywhere for a path between the constantly-changing gusts of flame, the two failed Guests ran marathons between the many, many columns of death!
“See anything yet?”
“No-“
Gabbie gasped and stopped.
Tana crashed into her.
“What’s up, girl!?”
An infernal river of fire.
That's what was up.
“Don’t move don’t move-“
“I’m not moving”, she squeaked.
“What do we do?”
The Hollywood Star hiked up her singed skirts.
“Wade?”
“Wade!?”
Her lips twisted in discomfort, and she regretfully looked down at her boots.
“Goodbye darlings! This is for the greater benefit”.
“I greatly don’t like this!”
Gabbie high-stepped into the lava-
“Aaaoooww…”
“Oh OH! HOT HOT!!”
Tana practically galloped the whole journey!
“Hey-Hey Tana-“
She started sprinting after the spluttering blonde.
“Don’t leave me-“
Together, they traveled onward.
“My everywhere hurts!!” Tana shrilled.
“So does mine, but you don’t hear me complaining!”
Together, they were blinded by a white light.
“What is that?”
“Where’s it coming from?”
“Please let me keep my eyes-“
“When we get out of here, I’m gonna strangle Joey!”
Together, they fell.
Weightless.
-
“Whoahhhhh, no-!!”
A personage in a tattered pink dress fell into traffic, and was almost run over by a semi-truck.
“Stop, stop-!!”
She called wildly, skittering on broken feet to the edge of the road!
“Gaaaabiiiieee!??”
A personage in soot-tinted cowgirl gear floundered into a fruit stall, and landed right on her butt amongst the melon pile.
“Where are we?”
“I dunno”, she whispered, helping her up.
“But I think we’re in trouble”.
Pedestrians were gawking, car horns were beeping, and whistles were blaring.
It was a g*d*n circus.
“Miss, you destroyed my citrullus lanatus!!” the vendor raged.
"Citrus what?"
"You pulled an Aang, Tana".
His ears wiggled.
“Tana?
Tana Mongeau?”
“Yeah?”
"Tana...and Gabbie Hanna".
"Uh-huh".
His smile was so voltage they were flabbergasted that his heart didn't die immediately from the electric overload.
“I’m so honored to meet you”, he gushed excitedly.
“And so very glad that you both are alright!"
"Thanks?"
"Thank you".
"You two have been missing for a month!!"
-They both shot each other confuzzled looks.
"Wait, what!?"