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“Real life is the best, baby!!”
Tana thumped onto the bar stool with a contented sigh, smoke steaming from her mug of hot chocolate.
“Finally get to enjoy not dying for once…”
“Same here”.
Gabbie sat down next to her, having dumped the unwieldy pink gown in favor of a loose, white t-shirt and sweatpants.
“Hey, you copied me”.
“Only because I never wanted to see that bloody thing again”.
“Eh, that’s fair”.
Alone at last, the two women raised their glasses.
“To new beginnings”.
“To not dying a third time…ever”.
“H*, I’ll drink to that!”
Clink!
Bottoms up.
*
Surprisingly, they were able to avoid a trip to the PO, or the hospital.
Nope…
They just got to walk off scott-free while Mr. Melon Man gawked after them with star-struck ecstasy.
(And yes, they did give him autographs…No, they weren’t bribes to let them go in all the confusion what are you talking about-
Okay, fine. Yeah, they totally did).
The former Hollywood Starlet downed her glass in one go and leaned back.
“Hey. You remember when I said that I wanted to strangle Joey?”
“Mm-hm”.
She did a double-take at the sight of Tana half-submerged inside her cup.
Like literally.
All she could see was a mass of hair, and maybe her eyeballs.
“Tana, if you drown-“
“Mwont”.
“…”
…I mean, if that floats your boat, then go right ahead.
“Anyway. I kinda feel like I could actually get away with it now”.
“Because he killed us, and we’re super loved by the fans?”
I’m surprised she has enough lung-space left to talk after inhaling all of that.
“Yup”.
Tana licked off the spoon with relish.
“Uh, we just got out of eternal d*nation”.
“I know, but I’m still really angry”.
“And it's still a bad idea”.
She sighed.
“You’re right. I’ll just land myself in more s*”.
“That’s my girl-“
“But doesn’t it make you so mad?
That we had to resort to escaping from Hell of all places!?”
“A little”, Tana admitted.
“But it could’ve been worse. We could’ve been stuck there forever”.
Gabbie blew an errant strand of hair out of her face.
Those curls hadn’t lasted long, either.
“I don’t even understand it”.
“Maybe we just found a random hole or something”.
“Maybe, but-“
KNOCK KNOCK-
What are the odds of that-she was going to say.
“Who is it?” Tana called out.
No answer.
“They’re gonna make us get up”, Gabbie remarked.
“Probably some sales person”, her friend dismissed.
“Welp”.
She reluctantly rose from the comfiest chair ever.
“Time to go see who it is”.
“Gabbie, why are you carrying a frying pan?”
“Friends would return your calls, no?”
“…
…Good point”.
*
Peeking through the clear peeper-hole, she was instantly on her guard.
A cloaked, pale figure in the darkest black ever known.
Okay weirdo.
Just randomly pop in out of nowhere, why don’t you?
She sank to the floor, weapon raised.
“Tana, get down!”
“Is it a creep?”
“Yes, it’s a creep-“
The door opened on its own.
Oh no you don’t-!
Hands grasping for the swinging wood-
The solid THWACK as Mx. Goth Kid teetered backward.
“That’s gotta hurt”, Tana commented.
“Right in the nose, Mothertrucker!!”
She followed it up with a satisfying CLANG-!!
They fought back, fingers snapping firm around her wrist even as they went down.
“Whoa-!?”
“GABBIE!!”
Tana ran to help, her pointy-heeled Pin-Up boots in hand.
“How dare you attack my friend, b*!”
Finding herself yanked to their level, the woman quickly planted most of her weight on their chest.
“Hurry, they’re-“
Not…trying to throw her off?
...
No, they weren’t.
In fact, from this lovely view, she could see straight into their empty eyes.
There was no soul.
Just…
“Tana…”
“Hold on girl! I’ve got you-“
She pushed her aside, about to swing down-
“Tana!”
She had to practically tackle her to prevent the bludgeoning!!
“Ow-!!”
Thudding hard against the laminated wood, she rubbed her sore behind.
“What are you doing!?”
“Keeping you from killing Death…Right?”
Shot a pointed look at their uninvited guest.
“What”.
*
Gabbie helped them up off the ground, wondering where in the h* that conclusion had come from!?
Not like the pupil-less retinas were a dead giveaway, or anything…
Still.
Tana kept her shoes trained on the visitor, while they rearranged their clothes.
“Who are you, and what do you want?”
Tranquilly staring at what appeared to be nothing, she was starting to have her doubts.
“……………….”
“Hey! You owe us some answers for trying to beat up Gabbie!!”
Technically, I kind-of beat them up first-
“……………….”
“Don’t just sit there being all silent! These fashion statements are wild and dangerous!!”
“…Tana?”
“What?”
“I don’t think…they’re gonna speak to us”.
“What!?”
Call it instinct, call it that vacant, bleak look…
“What do you mean-Are they mute or something?”
But it was a hunch she’d picked up, and…well…
“No…”
“Then wh-?”
“Maybe they just don’t like to talk?” she whispered into the other girl’s ear.
“Why are you asking me, I don’t know!”
When they turned their attention back to Mx. Goth Kid-
“Aaaahhh!””
They were a good two inches closer than they had been before.
“How did they do that!?”
“I told you! I think this person’s Death-“
“You think!?”
“I’m pretty sure”.
They looked again, and screamed louder!
“Will you stop that!?”
“You’re gonna give me a heart attack!!”
Nice one, Gabbie. Nice...
“What are you even here for!?”
The little Demon pointed to the door currently flapping on its hinges.
“You want us to go with you?”
The realization hit her like a ton of bricks:
…We’re being sent back to Hell aren’t we?