Chapter Text
"Chrisity-Crossity, full of curiosity. Cross, Chris, crisp, miss, chips, diss, bliss, kiss, fish-"
"Nightmare, please stop it."
"Crossed Chris, a cool, chill, cold, callous crossdressing christian with calluses and a cane, came to a crossroad by a christian cross with a cocky cackling christian eating a crisp low-carb fish by it at the place where the roads criss crossed called Crisp, Crossed, Cranky Chris Christen Christopher's Crossed Roads Crossroad and he crossed the road while caring about taking care to keep clean as Carter the cockerel, cockerel being a diminutive of cock, crowed in the cold, cruel, early-"
"You inspire terror in my very being."
"That means I'm doing it right."
"Do it left then," grumbled Chris, "Cross" as he was too often called.
Nightmare let out a hearty laugh. It wasn't exactly a common sound, but around his... they consider themselves be his friends, it was becoming more and more frequent, little by little. It was certainly an improvement from when Cino (he much preferred to spell his boyfriend's name 'Ccino,' looked much better and he knew the other like it) had found him unconscious on the ground as a wreck and a runaway years ago. But small, stupid things like this? These nonsensical, dumb conversations with his fellow morons? Sometimes, it felt good to be able to genuinely smile again, no matter how infrequent or idiotic the reasoning.
He never thought he'd be into a job like this- heck, he didn't even know a job like this existed! It was a mystery what would have happened to him if he hadn't been found and agreed to the offer.
"It's not fair," Chris insisted. "You make fun of my name all the time-"
"I'm not denying that, though technically your kid came up with 'Cross' before I did."
"-but we've known each other for years, and I don't know your full name! That not fair, Nick." He added the last part in a sly tone and with a mocking grin.
Xara snickered in the background as Nightmare groaned. "Not this again. I told you, that's not even my real name. It's just some stupid nickname-"
"Nickname."
"-Coffee Boy came up with."
"Well, it's all I have to work with, and I'm certainly going to work with it, Nick!" He declared.
"Cross-"
"What's wrong, Nick? Do you prefer Nickmare, Nick? Is Nickhorse better, Nick? Nick, do you want me to be more specific? Remember Nick, 'cause if you do, Nick, how about Nickladyhorse, Nick? Hey Nick, do you like Nickelodeon, Nick? Oh, c'mon, Nick. You know, Nick, you really shouldn't be such a dick, Nick. Hey Nick, has anyone ever told you, Nick, that you're a bit of a nickilis? Nick, are you sure your name isn't Nick? Nick, is it Nickolas, Nick for short? Or-"
"If you don't shut up I will glue an open jar of rats to your face and blowtorch the end," snarled Nightmare.
"Didn't we have a conversation about this awhile ago..." Chris recalled thoughtfully.
"Don't you dare!"
They stared at each other for a full five and a half seconds. (Xara was counting) Then,
"Nick?"
That started it.
The taunted and criticized and jeered at each other's names, voices, hair, clothes, eyes, personalities, powers, anything and everything they could think of with as much savagery as they could muster. It got increasing worse as it went on, words that if spoken by anyone else the offender would have been murdered in a matter of seconds. But they weren't, and by the time the two friends ran out of steam, Cross was practically collapsing with laughter, Nightmare was grinning, and Xara had finished three bags of imaginary popcorn.
"Man," snorted Cross. "It's been forever since we've done that. But in all seriousness, let me know if I overstep."
Nightmare looked incredulous. "You? Overstep? I crushed you, and I always will crush you. I doubt you could ever come up with anything substantial."
"Dream on, Nick," he retorted, visibly out of breath.
"Anyways," Nightmare continued, ignoring his companion, "How the ghost kid thing doing?"
For the first time, Xara spoke up. Chris was honestly surprised he had stayed mostly quiet so long. Apparently, watching him and Nightmare tease each other was more entertaining than he thought. Xara said, "I am not the ghost kid thing! I am a fully grown man, and CERTAINLY not a THING, you PUNY MORTAL!"
Chris said, "He's fine." As an afterthought, ("Don't even-") "Just busy with the usual. You know, being a kid shaped Thing and such."
Cue the overdramatic screeching.
"He also called you a puny mortal."
Nightmare's narrowed his eyes, which usually meant that he trying to keep a straight face and not laugh, trying not to murder you, or not trying not to murder you and planning a slow and painful demise. "He's certainly more mortal than I'll ever be."
"What does that even mean?! He keeps saying things like that, but what actually is he? I mean, I guess he has been helping us, but seriously!" Xara ranted.
"We've been over this," chided Chris under his breath.
"Did you say something?" asked Nightmare.
"Talking to Xara. Nothing of importance," he replied easily.
Sometimes, Chris just had to mentally step back and actually look at his sponsor. Xara was right. Black, messy hair was pulled back in a ponytail with just enough bangs left to obscured his right eye, which, as far as Chris knew, was the same purple-tinged gray as his left eye. Well... gray with certain... exceptions. One of the earliest notes Chris registered on his appearance was his short stature. At first glance, Nightmare looked non-intimidating and non-threatening, small and weird.
Chris changed his mind in a matter of minutes
In fact, it had been obvious something was off about Nightmare since the moment they met, but he was he was hardly in a position to talk himself. The same could be said for everyone else Nightmare introduced him to, and he quite liked the lack of questions and mutual Not Right. While his 'friends' understood, having messy pasts themselves, Chris often found himself wondering what the painfully normal people he interacted with regularly would think of him if they knew what he was and what he had done. Most importantly, what would Dakota would think?
Dakota gave off a similar aura to Nightmare, but in a completely direction. They reminded Chris of each other in a way that was impossible to place. It was also clear they both had their secrets, and Cross hardly had the right to pry in his boyfriend's personal life while hiding so much of his own. But how, and most importantly, what would he tell him?
"Anyways," announced Nightmare, "Now that we've got that out, you wanted to talk, no? I'm guessing it's about that love interest you mentioned that's making Xara anxious."
"How are you not? Criss-Cross here is getting sidetracked, again. What if he decides to give up and settles down?! What will I do then?" demanded the boy in question as Chris's eyes abruptly turned blood red, a result of the breif possession. He blinked them back to mostly normal and shop I his head.
"Sorry about that, Night. But see, as that idiot said, this is exactly my problem. I don't know what to do or if I should tell him. I like him so much, and it's so tempting to just stay, but there's no way I can just forget all of this. What we're doing... It's too important," he explained in a much more normal tone.
"Speaking of which, how's your project doing?"
"Not much improvement, but we're getting closer."
They went back and forth, discussing cases and the Project and Chris's recently found relationship, what he had and hasn't revealed, and some of the other man's oddities. Finally, Nightmare thought to ask a question they should have addressed a while ago, probably before today.
"Hey, I don't think I got his name. What was it again?"
Chris paused. "Dakota, Dakota... Jacobs I think? I- Dude, are you okay?"
Nightmare, upon hearing the name, stumbled back, looking very much like he had been slapped in the face.
"Uh- I-" He swallowed. "Yeah, I'm okay. But, uh, I was going to suggest this anyways, but maybe you should, you know, wait on telling him anything, just to be safe."
He was in fact very much Not Okay.