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was my soul left behind?

Summary:

Uraraka Ochako thought she left her past behind her. Now a vital member of the Armed Detective Agency, she can use her gravity manipulation ability to do good and help people, as long as she's careful about how she uses it. However, when a familiar face that she both wishes she could forget and truly misses hunts her down, her dark past comes back to remind her that there are some things she can never leave behind. As her history in the Port Mafia and her relationship to one of the most dangerous Executives, Shigaraki Tomura, come to light, Uraraka must figure out on her own what it means to be a good person and learn to trust herself and others. Something terrible is going to happen, and if she has to dive headfirst into a battle with Shigaraki and the Port Mafia, she'll fight with everything in her.

[Or: the Bungou Stray Dogs AU that no one expected, but I literally could not stop writing for my life.]

Notes:

This was originally supposed to be a one-shot based off the "Day 3: Adrift" prompt for Ochabowl Week - and now I'm on chapter 11 and I don't even know what happened. The great news is that I know exactly how this is going to end, so I won't be stuck on this for a year. (I mean, I wrote 10 chapters/40k in a week.) It's only natural to connect Chuuya and Uraraka in some fashion because of their gravity-related abilities, but my brain went one step further at 7:30 am while driving to work.

For those of you that haven't seen Bungou Stray Dogs, I think it's pretty easy to translate the BNHA characters into it. Just in case, I had someone who has never seen or read BSD read this fic and they said that they understood it perfectly. A quick summary: "abilities" instead of "quirks" (although rarer), "Armed Detective Agency" instead of "heroes", "Port Mafia" instead of "League of Villains", and "Special Abilities Department" instead of "Hero Commission". I did my best to immerse the BNHA characters into the BSD world while also explaining it. If anyone has any questions, I am here to answer them as I love BSD a lot. The title comes from a translation of Nakahara Chuya's poem, "A Bone".

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: (CHAPTER ONE)

Chapter Text

The Armed Detective Agency was an interesting place. It was certainly filled with unique characters, most of whom made her laugh and smile more than she ever had in her life. Uraraka hadn’t exactly planned on joining them but ended up becoming a member through a series of circumstances. She didn’t think such an unusual yet well-respected agency would have any interest in her, especially since she’d tried to keep her head down, but life had a strange way of pushing a person down a path.

She hadn’t wanted to join them at first. With a special ability like hers, she was sure that people only wanted her around in order to use her. Short and cute as she was, she knew she didn’t look like much, and she did not resort to her ability often. Most people assumed she didn’t have one, and she was content to let them think that, seeing how she couldn’t even use it to its fullest extent without hurting herself or others.

It was better if no one knew so they wouldn’t try to exploit it, even if it meant not using it herself.

Which of course meant Deku figured it out within seconds of meeting her. She’d tried to pass off as a mere witness in a bank robbery attempt, but he had smiled brightly and asked, “You do know that using your ability unregulated is a crime, right?” She was terrified that he would turn her in to the police or, even worse, alert the government’s Special Abilities Department. Instead, he held out a business card and said, “If you want to help people, you should give us a visit or call. We’re usually hiring.”

It took her two weeks before she worked up the courage to meander to their office. It was small, tucked away on the second floor of a building that housed a coffee shop on the first floor and a lawyer’s office next to them, but somehow she could sense the energy radiating inside it. She’d grown up around ability users, so she knew it wasn’t possible to sense them in a person, and yet she could’ve sworn she felt it back then as her hand hovered over the door.

She wanted to help people - she had always wanted to help people, even when she couldn’t - but she was also leery. As much as she wanted to believe that people were inherently good, she had seen the worst side of humanity before. She knew what her ability inspired in people. Greed, desire, excitement. She couldn’t do that again. She wanted to save people. She wanted… she wanted to be a hero . It was still possible for her, wasn’t it?

Almost two years into her time with the ADA, Uraraka couldn’t be happier. This was where she belonged. She could even safely use her ability thanks to Aizawa’s nullifying ability, although they had never asked her to go that far before. Most criminals, she could take out with only the parts of her ability that she could control and then the other members took care of the rest. Everyone considered Todoroki to be the strongest member by far, and she was also content to let them think that.

Deku might’ve raised his eyebrows at her whenever someone said something along those lines to him, but he thankfully didn’t say anything. She still hadn’t confessed to him the extent of her ability or the reasoning behind it, but it didn't seem to matter. Somehow, he knew there was more to it. As inquisitive as he normally was about everything in the world, he didn’t ask her this one thing, even if he was especially curious about special abilities.

With two containers loaded with coffees and a bag filled with fancy foreign breakfast goods from the coffee shop below, Uraraka opened the door and skipped into the office. She grabbed the one floating containers to carry it into the main office, the treats following her in the air. “Good morning, everyone!” she greeted as she set a special-to-order coffee on each desk.

“You know, Uraraka, you don’t have to keep doing this,” Iida pointed out as he fished a treat out of the floating bag. “We have Kaminari to do that or one of the interns.”

“And risk them getting our drinks wrong?” Uraraka teased. “Deku runs on this stuff!”

Honestly, she didn’t mind. Both Aizawa and Toshinori had told her that she didn’t owe them anything for bringing her into the ADA, but she would always be grateful. She had been terrified of going back to the streets again, but there hadn’t been much in the way for her to do. Musutafu was a large city with opportunities crawling out of the woodwork, but she’d not had much in the way of a resume. She wouldn’t be able to explain what she did for a living if she tried to get a regular job.

In a way, the ADA was the only place for someone like her. She couldn’t stand the idea of working for the government, and the Port Mafia…

This wasn’t just her job; it was her home. These people weren’t just her coworkers; they were her family. She would do almost anything for them, but they never asked her to do more than she was comfortable with. It was a good life.

“We just got another case!” Deku exclaimed excitedly as he burst into the room. Todoroki strolled into the office behind him, looking far less enthused. He looked bored, but then again, like her, they rarely dealt with people that actually required him to use the extent of his ability. To him, a case was a case. Still, she knew he preferred it here instead of Special Divisions where his father worked. “An entire truck full of high-grade pharmaceuticals has been stolen, and it’s nowhere to be found.”

Uraraka plucked the treat bag out of the air and set it down on Todoroki’s desk. “Oh, spooky.”

Todoroki wandered over to his desk and began to rummage through the bag. “The police believe the Port Mafia has something to do with it.”

“So they want us to check it out for them first,” Uraraka surmised.

Deku snatched up his cup of coffee and took a long sip. “It’s only natural. On top of their abilities permit, which the police do not have, they don’t want to go up against them or make an enemy out of them. It’s easier to put us in harm’s way.”

Tapping her lips with a finger, Uraraka asked, “Aren’t there rumors about the Chief having ties to them?”

“Only rumors,” Iida stated firmly, “which we are not to concern ourselves with as they are our primary source of business. We don’t want to make an enemy out of them either.”

“Oh, of course!” Despite her earnest response, Uraraka connected eyes with Todoroki, who shrugged and stuffed one of those American-style doughnuts in his mouth that the coffee shop liked to make. Deku only blinked, but she thought his lack of a response was rather telling. He always had something to say or muttered under his breath in thought. When he didn’t, it usually meant he was hiding something.

Iida cleared his throat and flipped open his notebook to take notes on the day’s events. “We also have a young woman in the waiting room wanting to hire us. She says her boyfriend has gone missing, but the police won’t file a report as it has only been two days.”

“Aw, how tragic!” Camie cooed from the other side of the room.

“It is indeed unfortunate that the police are forced to use certain policies–”

“No, I messed up my nails,” Camie cut in. She was leaning back in her seat with her feet propped up on the desk, eyeing the hand in front of her with her fingers splayed out. She frowned before pulling it closer to reapply her nail polish.

Shoving his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, Iida tried not to roll his eyes, but Uraraka could tell he was struggling. “Two of you should investigate the stolen pharmaceuticals and the other two should speak with this woman. We still haven’t decided on whether we’re taking her case, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask her a few questions and check out if it’s worth it.”

“Hm, you seemed really excited about the truck case,” Uraraka pointed out, glancing at Deku.

“Yeah, but a missing person seems more important…”

Uraraka shook her head. “Nonsense – there’s no telling what the thieves will do with those drugs. They could sell them on the black market or potentially use them to create something worse. People need that medicine. It’s highly valuable to anyone involved.”

Deku knew that, but sometimes he needed simple things reiterated to him. He had a bad habit of getting fixated on helping people, so naturally, he would gravitate toward a missing person’s case, even if there was a more interesting one at hand. He’d probably be able to solve it faster than Uraraka, but she had one very rigid, personal rule when it came to her job at the ADA: she did not touch cases involving the Port Mafia.

It was hard to keep that promise to herself. Sometimes, she couldn’t avoid the Mafia entirely, but she could work from the office or do other things. So far, no one had commented on her unwillingness to deal with them face-to-face. Almost all of them had at some point since she’d been here. As the only other agency aside from the government legally allowed to use their abilities at work and a detective agency at that, they were often tasked with solving cases related to the Port Mafia.

They hadn’t had a full-out fight with them yet, but it was only a matter of time. The Port Mafia would not take the ADA’s presence lying down, especially if they started getting in their way more often. The last time they had crossed paths, Todoroki had insulted them and nearly started a brawl. She was slightly concerned that he had done it on purpose.

“Okay, Midoriya and Todoroki are on the stolen drugs case,” Iida decided, writing every detail in his little notebook. “Uraraka, Camie, you’re on the potential missing person’s case.”

Camie groaned and dropped her head back. “Do I have to?”

“Yes,” Iida said flatly, a very unamused expression on his face.

“C’mon, she’ll probably prefer us over those two dunderheads,” Uraraka joked as Camie dragged herself out of her chair. “Deku would ask too many questions and Todoroki would look like he didn’t give a shit.”

Deku pouted. “A detective can never ask too many questions.”

“He probably just ghosted her and is hiding somewhere until she leaves him alone,” Todoroki added.

Uraraka gestured to the boys. “See what I mean?”

Camie smiled and nodded. “You’re right. They’re hopeless.” As much as she didn’t like to work, she was good at her job when she did it – the key word being “when”. Uraraka wasn’t sure how she got away with doing so little work, but she said it was because she handled their website, email, and any online work.

After taking the paper with the woman’s information on it from Iida, Uraraka waved. “You boys have fun solving the mystery! Don’t get into any fights.”

“We won’t!” Deku reassured her.

“We’ll try not to,” Todoroki said with a much less comforting attitude.

Shaking her head at them, Uraraka poked her head into the waiting room where she found a young, pretty dark-haired woman sitting silently in a chair. She stared down at her hands folded in her lap with brown red-rimmed eyes, a forlorn aura about her. Rude as the statement might’ve been, there was a possibility that Todoroki’s conjecture was correct, but it wouldn’t hurt to talk with her about it. The way her feet fidgeted on the floor betrayed her nervousness. If she truly thought her boyfriend was missing, she must have been scared and confused.

“Miss Hanazawa?” Uraraka prompted as she stepped fully into the room, and the young woman perked up. “Hi, I’m Uraraka Ochako and this is Utsushimi Camie. We’re with the agency. We wanted to ask you a few questions before we decided to take your case. Is that okay?”

“Yes, I…” Hanazawa sniffed and rubbed her eyes. “That makes sense. I’m sorry. I just- I’m not normally like this. I didn’t know what else to do.”

Uraraka handed her a  tissue, which Hanazawa took. “No need to apologize.” She took a seat across from her while Camie remained standing at the door. “Why don’t we start from the beginning, okay? Can you tell us why you think your boyfriend is missing? We can work from there after that.”

Hanazawa nodded as she crumpled up the tissue. “Of course, whatever you need to know.”

If it had been Camie sitting in her place, Deku, or even Iida, they would have reached out to touch Hanazawa’s hand or even take it in order to comfort her. Uraraka was good with compassionate words, but she didn’t touch people these days. There had been too many times when such a simple touch had been used against her – when she had used a simple touch against someone else – and so she kept her distance. She could control her ability as long as she didn’t try to use it to its fullest extent and didn’t fear it any longer, but she still refrained from touching people.

There had only been one person who she hadn’t minded touching, if only because she knew he could kill her before she killed him. Such a comforting thought.

Uraraka didn’t think about that though. She patiently listened to Hanazawa answer her and Camie’s questions and took notes on the interview. There were a lot of things she didn’t think about, but that person and the other half of her ability were two things very high on the list. Luckily, this missing person’s case was an excellent distraction.

She really shouldn’t be so pleased about that.

*

After speaking with Hanazawa about her potentially missing boyfriend, Uraraka and Camie decided to check out his apartment. They could see things that she couldn’t and hopefully figure out definitively if he was missing or simply skipping out on her. Luckily, she had a key to his place. The fact that he had let her keep it suggested that he hadn’t left her, but he might’ve been on a bender.

Musutafu was like that for a lot of people. It was a large city and easy to get lost in. The darker parts were even more alluring, tempting even the most mild-mannered people into shady situations and dangerous get-rich-quick schemes. Some people disappeared entirely, only to return days later with their bank account and pockets empty, having lost it all in some backroom gambling ring. When someone found themselves in debt with the Port Mafia – or, even worse, having crossed them – there was little else to do but run.

It was foolish, of course. No one could run away from the Mafia forever. They were always found and debts always repaid in some way in the end.

While Camie and Hanazawa walked ahead, Uraraka hung behind them on her phone. Shinsou had sent her a file containing all the information on Hanazawa’s boyfriend, Saito, that he could dig up online. The woman could talk all she wanted about how good of a person he was; Uraraka knew that even good people were capable of terrible things. They were especially capable of doing stupid things, which could result in even worse trouble.

Shinsou: I can’t imagine this guy going AWOL or anyone kidnapping or killing him. He’s boring as hell.

Uraraka: People usually build up an online persona different from their real life versions.

Shinsou: Yeah to make themselves look cooler. Even his bank account records are dull.

Uraraka: Bank account records? Was that a legal search?

Shinsou: I got friends in high places. Usually it’s fun. His last charge was an automatic withdrawal for a gardening magazine.

Snorting to herself, Uraraka leafed through the records and then his social media accounts. Shinsou wasn’t wrong. Saito and Hanazawa were a painfully bland couple. They didn’t go on any flashy vacations or buy expensive items. He lived modestly and drank socially maybe once a week. His social media was filled with pictures of his small garden and a few bonsai trees. He wasn’t political. He was a manager at an organic grocery store. His family was small and close-knit with equally boring parents.

People could live like this in Musutafu? Uraraka couldn’t understand it herself. Maybe this was what life was like without a special ability. Those with them couldn’t travel simple paths. It was like there was a responsibility in them to do something – like they couldn’t be idle – but that didn’t always end well.

“I just want him to be okay,” Hanazawa murmured weakly once they reached his nondescript apartment building. “It’s not like him to be out of contact for this long. We talk every day.”

About what? Uraraka wondered as she took in the surroundings. No one stood out suspiciously, but it wasn’t like bad people were always conspicuous. She knew firsthand that even the most innocent-looking people could have horrible intentions. It was easy to hide stained hands behind your back. She tugged on her gloves to tighten them and then followed Camie and Hanazawa inside.

Saito lived on the fourth floor, so they took the elevator. A dangerous place to be, in her opinion, seeing as how there were no exits – at least for most people. She could climb out of the hatch in the ceiling and escape easy-peasy. Uraraka leaned against the wall, staring at the numbers tick by, and waited for the other two women to step out before moving.

If something had happened to Saito, he was exceptionally good at hiding things, which suggested he was a lot worse than most people they dealt with.

Once they reached his apartment, Hanazawa let them in. It was equally boring inside, matching the social media pictures she’d seen already. Upon first glance, there was nothing that suggested he had left in a hurry or that there had been a struggle. Granted, if he had been kidnapped, it was possible it had happened elsewhere after he left his apartment. Everything was painfully neat and clean, reminding her of the dirty dishes she had piling up in her sink, not one book or picture out of line.

And then the door slammed shut behind her.

Uraraka jerked around to find a man wearing a trenchcoat, mask, and top hat leaning against the now locked door. Her blood ran cold. She didn’t need to see his face to know he was smiling.

“Did I forget to say we wouldn’t be alone?” Hanazawa asked cheerfully.

A gasp cutting off into a choking sound snapped Uraraka out of her trance. Even though she knew turning her back on the masked man was a terrible idea, she looked back to find a dark-haired man gripping Camie by the throat. He wasn’t squeezing tightly enough to do severe damage, but she was still struggling to breathe as her toes scraped the ground to stay standing. Although he was wearing a long black jacket, aside from his face, bandages covered the parts of his body that showed. He looked bored, his blue eyes unimpressed and condescending, like Todoroki.

She’s going to ruin her nails again, Uraraka thought distantly as she watched Camie claw at the bandages on his wrists.

“I thought the ADA was supposed to be smart,” the man said in a disinterested tone.

“I’m a great actress!” Hanazawa insisted as she pranced around gleefully.

No, that wasn’t Hanazawa. She looked like her and probably sounded like her too, but it wasn’t her. As if hearing her thoughts, light shimmered around Hanazawa, so bright that Uraraka had to lift her forearm over her eyes. When she dropped her arm, the modest long skirt and blouse were the same, but the woman was entirely different. Instead of dark hair and sad brown eyes, she had long, stringy blonde hair and a hungry golden gaze.

She didn’t recognize those two, but she didn’t have to in order to know what they were: Port Mafia.

And here she’d thought she gave Deku the case involving them.

Unless that was the point. The drugs would be a more pressing case, so of course the Agency would put their best detective on a sure case instead of one the police had already turned down. With him distracted, that would most likely leave someone else to take the case, someone that might not pick up on the fake Hanazawa. Who better to help a scared young woman than two other women? She might feel better or more at ease with them than one of the men.

Uraraka smiled shakily. “You didn’t want the pharmaceuticals in that truck, did you?”

“No, I wanted you,” an all-too-familiar voice said lowly from the kitchen. Uraraka’s heart dropped to the pit of her stomach, and she closed her eyes. The moment she realized it was a trap, she had known he was here. Even if they hadn’t mentioned her specifically, she knew this was his doing. No one could outrun the Port Mafia – no one, not even her. Eventually, they caught up with you. Everyone always paid their dues in the end. “Hello, Ochako. It’s been a while.”

Taking a deep breath, Uraraka opened her eyes and turned around the face a man she had tried to forget but never truly could. There was no leaving behind some things, no matter how far a person ran. “Not long enough, I’d say.” The smile didn’t leave her face even when he glowered at her in return, his red eyes dark with barely repressed rage. “Hello, Tomura. Did you miss me that much?”

She hadn’t missed him. She hadn’t.