Work Text:
"You LIED to me."
"Lord Hordak. Please! I just-"
"I should have never listened to Entrapta about you. Look at what you have done! My lab! My army!"
"I did what you asked though!"
"Did I ASKED you to let Shadow Weaver go? Did I ASKED you to pull the lever? Did I ASKED you to send Entrapta to Beast Island?!"
"I...I..."
"I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance!"
Those words cutting Catra to pieces. She heard them before when she was younger. Everytime she gotten into trouble.
The princesses do whatever they want while she would be punished. It was always the same story no matter with who.
"I know, you're not a bad person!"
The princesses always get what they want. Anything Catra wants is taken from her.
"You don't belong in the Horde!"
Everyone wants the princesses.
"I only kept you around for Adora."
No one wanted her.
Where does she belong then?
Why should she want to be in this world when the world doesn't want her?
This world should just end...
Everything should just end.
End.
End.
Blue and yellow eyes widened and Catra bolted up, grimacing at the pain coursing throughout her body. Breath coming out in pained short gasps. Her muscles aching and screaming at her to just lay back down and never get up.
She did exactly that, laying back down and staring around at her surroundings, collecting herself. She was outside...? In a forest? Whispering Woods? No, it wasn't like the Whispering Woods. The air smelt different, almost cleaner? No smell of any Horde activities nearby. Catra tried to recall what happened before then, wincing at her pounding head.
She flipped the switch. She did it. She flipped the switch. She destroyed Etheria...she flipped the switch.
Then everything went white. She felt at peace and suddenly she was finally in heaven. The world she wanted. Until Adora ruined it all, of course.
Catra felt a prickling feeling in her eyes. Frustration, anger, shame, hate, guilt, self-loathing. Catra continued letting those negative dark feelings swirl around her. Breath coming out in heavy gasps, her eyes tearing up and she brought her palms up to her face, stubbornly rubbing the tears away.
Then Hordak had found out about what she did to Entrapta. He was so angry. Her body and mind aching as the last thing she could remember was being slammed against a broken container, a strange disfigured being in the water, but Catra couldn't remember much as everything after that settled into blank darkness. Just the shouting and those red eyes glaring down at her like she was nothing.
"You made your choice!"
A bitter laugh, hollow and dry echoing quietly in the forest clearing she was laying at. "Ugh." Catra growled as she dug her claws into the dirt, scrabbling to sit back up—already feeling out of breath.
A rustling sound caught her attention and she bristled, she tried to hiss, but it came out a hissing cough instead. A dark skinned woman emerged from the bushes, her long brunette hair tied into a high braid. Steely blue eyes widening as they landed on Catra's wounded form.
"Are you alright?!" The strange woman quickly kneeling close to Catra, her hand reaching out towards her.
"Don't touch me!" Catra cried out as she swiped at the stranger, her claws scratching the woman's arm. The woman flinched back slightly, backing away from Catra who only glared back at her with distrust and fear.
Catra shakingly got up, her eyes still on the stranger, backing away from her. Her head was throbbing painfully, body feeling like lead. "Who are you? Where am I? What-"
She looked familiar, but Catra couldn't put her finger on it. The woman in front of her only smiled sadly at her. "My name is Mara."
"M-Mara..."
Something about that name. It sounded familiar, but Catra couldn't figure it out. The name tickling the back of her head insistently. Where did she hear that name? Her voice? Her face? It was just so familiar.
Mara.
Mara?
"Where's Mara?!"
"Gone..."
"It's all my fault!"
Catra winced as a stabbing throbbing pain coursed through her right side. Her skin feeling like it was being ripped and clawed at. She hunched over, gasping and shaking. For a moment, a flash and she saw her hands holding Adora down in the water, drowning the other girl. Her right arm black and corroded. Her maniac laugh, warped and distorted, echoing loud in her ears.
"It's all your fault!"
Catra fell to her knees, clutching her head tightly and screaming. Tears streaming down her cheeks, sobbing for the memories to go. The pain to go. Everything to go.
Just disappear.
"Nn..gk..." Catra blinked lightly. Her mind groggy and her body fairly sore. Not as aching or pained as when she first woke up so that was at least something. Her surrounding was different though—no longer out in the open wilderness, but a cave. Her body laying on a large furskin blanket.
She tilted her head to the side, her blue and yellow mismatched eyes staring at the figure hunched over a small flickering flame, pouring some hot liquid into a wooden bowl. Catra slowly sitting up, her body feeling like lead.
"Finally up. That certainly was some scream. Woke the entire forest, I bet." The woman spoke, her back still to Catra. If she wanted to she could dig her claws into the older woman's braid, a claw to her throat—demanding answers to where she was. Who this woman was. Why she was here.
Before she could act on those thoughts, the woman turn around giving Catra a chastising look that made Catra shrink back. "Now I know this is going to taste a bit bad. But someone always told me that the most bitter medicine is the most effective."
"What are you yamme-" A spoonful of scalding...whatever it was, was jammed into Catra's mouth. A bit bad was putting it mildly, if Catra had to describe it..it was downright revolting. It was worst than when Adora and her tried to mix the brown and gray ration bars that they have swiped from under Rogelio's bed, Catra having smuggle those ration bars out with Kyle's socks.
Catra gagged and sputtered, trying to get that terrible awful taste out of her tongue and hopefully out of her memories. "Ugh! What the heck! That was disgusting!"
"Hiyah!" The other woman shoved another spoonful into Catra's mouth. The catgirl's entire body jolting up, from her ears to her tail. Catra flailing about trying to wipe the taste off her poor tastebuds. Her body feeling like it's on fire now. "What the- you craz-"
"One more!" The woman slipping the spoon between Catra's lips once again, the honeyed gunk going down her throat. "Gffnk?!"
"You did wonderful! Good job!" She says patting Catra on the back, rubbing soothing circles as the feline continue coughing and gagging from the horrid slum. "You crazy bat..."
The catgirl notice her ribs and her entire right arm were bandaged—and whatever that disgusting stuff was it seem to have some sort of healing calming effect on her, warming her body in a soothing way. The pain slowly becoming number. "How you feeling now, sweetie?" The stranger asks, gently nudging Catra down to lay back on the furskin.
"Don't patronize me." Catra grumbled in reply, swatting her hand away. The lady only laugh at that, a clear laugh that echoed warmly in the otherwise dim cave. "Who are you? Where am I? How'd I get here?" Catra questions again.
The mysterious woman only shrugs at Catra, "I told you my name. Then you up and started screaming at me before passing out. You were hurt so I took you to this cave." She raised an eyebrow at the feline, poking Catra's forehead. "Are you going to be screaming again or something? Because I rather not hear that in this cave."
"I-" Catra opened her mouth before shutting it quickly. Her mind still hazy and foggy. Her memories spotted. "Why did you help me?" She asks instead, slapping the poking finger away.
"Because I chose to." Mara simply replies as if that was all that needed to be said.
"Because...you...chose...to?" Catra repeated incredulously.
"Because I chose to." Mara repeats also before tilting her head, staring at Catra. "You have a lot of hair. I'd bet it would look absolutely lovely if we brushed it."
Catra turned to her side, ribs aching in protest, but better than facing this strange woman. Hopefully the woman gets the hint and leave her alone.
"Oh! We could definitely put it in a braid like mine. I'm sure you would look absolutely beautiful!"
Of course. She was the crazy talkative type. Just Catra's luck.
"Have you ever wanted to cut your hair? Do you have a hairstyle in mind that you want?"
"Ugh...you talk too much..."
Mara paused and Catra thought that was it. Until that clear laugh echoed warmly. The feline glaring over her shoulder to see Mara laughing as if Catra have said the funniest thing.
"I'm sorry...I just...I just got really nostalgic is all." Mara said with that sad smile. "I wasn't laughing at you."
"Whatever..." Catra looked away again, staring at the cavern wall. The flames flickering and black shadows inching in the corner of her eyes, a few moment of silence.
"...What were you laughing about then?" This time Catra broke the silence, closing her eyes from the shadows.
"...About the time I took down a dragon." Catra's ears perked up at that, her tail flicking slightly. "Oh. Sounds boring..." Catra drawled trying to pretend she wasn't interested, opting to lick her unbandaged left wrist instead.
"Yeah. Incredibly so, I guess." Mara shrugged. "The dragon was only as tall as a mountain. Fangs and claws sharper than the strongest swords. Fire hot enough to melt the skin off of bones. A roar that can tear your soul out." Mara grinned as she watched Catra's tail sway back and forth, knowing the feline was hanging on to every word. "And I rode it through the sky."
"N-no way!" Catra bolted up, staring at Mara with wide eyes—grimacing as she held her ribs. "Ugh..."
Mara was already next to her, gently pushing Catra back down, with a calming shush and a wink. "Yes way. Through the sky and even accidentally burned a village." She looked away with a sheepish expression. "Luckily no one was hurt though."
"That sounds amazing." Catra wasn't sure if it was the slop the woman called medicine or her tired mind, but she felt her eyes droop. Mara. She said her name was Mara? Why did that name sound so familiar?
"Who's...Mara...?" Catra felt her words slur.
"Another story for another time. Rest for now, little one." A hand placed gently on her head, Catra much too tired to do anything about it as she closed her eyes, taking several deep breaths.
It became a sort of pattern. Catra waking up incredibly sore and bored. Mara would talk her ears off with grand stories of her supposed adventures. Then she tries to feed Catra that slop.
The last part could be skipped, Catra grumbles quietly to herself. She could hardly get up without feeling like every part of her was screaming. If she had the strength, she would take down this woman and escape.
Escape to...where though?
She wasn't sure how much time passed in the cave with Mara. Just that everytime she opened her eyes after dozing off Mara would have another exciting story to tell Catra about and she would hang on to every word until that voice lulled her back to sleep.
"So what's your name?" Mara suddenly asks after finishing a daring story about how she hijacked a ship. "I realized I been talking about myself the whole time."
Catra was lazing around on the furskin blanket, faced down and curled up, raking her claws against the soft fur. Eyes lidded as she felt herself dozing off again. "I'm...nobody important..."
Mara chuckles at that. "Nobody Important." She repeats and they sit there in silence for awhile. Catra now unused to the silence as the cavern walls were always filled with Mara's talking or laughing for the past few hours. Has it been hours? How many hours has even passed?
"So Nobody Important." Mara finally says breaking the silence. "Have you ever seen the stars?"
"Stars? What are those?" Catra rolled around facing Mara. She remembered Adora spoke of them when they were younger. How Adora never shut up about the stars. How Adora would always drag Catra up with her to the top of the tower and point out where those stars would be in her dreams.
Adora...
Her heart ached more than her body at the thought of Adora.
"They're...beautiful..." Mara begins, her eyes looking faraway and sad. "Flickering lights in the darkness. So many of them. Littering the night sky with shining bright beauty." Her blue eyes glancing up at Catra with a gentle soft smile. "Your eyes remind me of them."
Catra felt her face flushed. She was used to Scorpia showering her with overflowing praises. People's off-handed sarcastic compliments. But this felt different.
She saw Mara cautiously move closer, laying on the ground next to Catra—quietly and slowly staring up at the ceiling. "They were so beautiful. Razz and I used to lay on the ground and just watch the stars."
Mara lying flat down on her back and raised her hand up, eyes on the cavern ceiling. Catra could easily slash Mara's throat from her position. The vulnerability of this woman was off-putting. "We'd point out shapes and make up our own constellations." She waved her finger around as if tracing something on the ceiling. Catra watching her from her spot, memorized. "All of our problems just seem so small and insignificant. It was just us and the stars."
There was a light blush on Mara's face, a faraway reminiscencing look. Catra stared at the older woman's face before rolling over on her back, looking at the cavern ceiling. Trying to imagine how that would be.
She couldn't imagine it.
"Are there...colors?" She blurts out.
"Colors?"
"Like..." Catra struggled with what she wanted to say. "Are the stars..." She grimaced really hard. "...Pink...?"
Mara turn her head to look at Catra with a raised eyebrow and a teasing grin. "Do you have something against pink?"
"No! Yes? Maybe?! I...I don't know." Catra faltered a bit. "I...don't know what pink looks like..." She confess while burying her claws into the torn holes of the furskin blanket. She wondered if the stars would just be another beautiful thing she would never be able to experience.
"Oh." Mara was silent for a second as the realization dawned to her. "Well thank goodness for you, because pink is the absolutely worst color imaginably created anyways." Mara finally said with an absolutely serious face as if it was a fact of life.
Catra blinked before bursting out laughing. "What the heck? Now I really want to know what it looks like!"
"No, you don't! Razz once dyed my entire tunic a horrible pink once during battle and it was terrible!" Mara blushed, covering her face—the older woman squealing in embarrassment from the memories. The cavern was just full of laughter, it reminded Catra of the night she spent under the covers with Adora.
"Man, I really wish I could see colors so I could imagine how that looked!" Catra breathed out after laughing so much, feeling drained and tired. "That Razz sounds like a kook. I like them."
Mara rolled her eyes before closing them, a fond smile on her face. Her calming voice lulling Catra to a slumber. "Of course you would. You're a lot like her."
Catra woke up again and Mara was gone. Her eyes widening and she glanced wildly around, trying to get up on shaky limbs. Feeling panicked and abandoned. Did Mara leave her? Where did Mara go?
She left.
They will all leave.
No one wants you.
You're a Nobody.
Catra felt her chest grow tight. Her skin under the bandages crawling, a screeching distorted sound echoing in her mind.
"Oh. Nobody Important is up." Mara's voice cutting clear and Catra looked up. The darker skinned woman holding up two large fishes by the fins in each hands. She was also dripping wet and getting water everywhere.
"N-Nobody impo-" Catra sputtered, hissing as Mara shook her head getting water on her. "Yeah. I asked your name and you answered Nobody Important." Mara states simply as she sits in front of the fire and starts preparing the fish.
"You crazy bat.." Catra grumbled out watching Mara. Soon enough the fishes were over the fire and the scent of the cooking fish made Catra's mouth water. "What is that? It smells good." She asks rolling over to her elbows, eyes on the cooking fish.
"You...never have roasted fish before?" Mara looked incredibly surprised. "Should I?" Catra felt herself drooling a bit as she watch the skin start crinkling, a delicious scent wafting the air.
Mara seem to brighten up at this, pounding her chest and looking smug. "Well, prepare to have the most delicious roasted fish ever. I was told I'm a great cook!"
Catra rolled her eyes at that, giving out a lazy smirk while staring at the cooking fishes. "Hey, great cook. Is the whole thing supposed to be on fire too?"
"On fir-oh no!"
Mara gave her the second fish—the first fish looking a little burnt, but Mara assured Catra she liked it that way. Not that Catra really cared or anything, but she did realize that fish was one of the best thing she ever eaten before. Much better than the gray or the brown ration bars.
"So Nobody Important where did you come from?"
Catra froze, her claws were kneading into the blanket, slowly tearing another hole into it, her belly feeling full and content. "Nowhere special."
Mara whistled at that, picking the fishbones out of her teeth. "Wow. Nobody Important from Nowhere Special."
Catra waved her hand lazily from her spot in reply. "That's me." She was never important nor special. That title always went to Adora.
"You're pretty important and special to me if it matters, kiddo."
Eyes widen slightly and Catra opened her mouth for a moment. Unable to think of a retort until she turned her head away, hiding her face. "And you're pretty lame even after hearing all your cool epic stories."
Catra was glad that Mara was a loud laugher, eyes closed and hunching over—she didn't see the blushing pleased expression on Catra's face, her tail swishing happily. Catra closed her eyes and dozed off to Mara's laughing voice.
The next time Catra wakes up, she hears Mara sobbing—hunched over the fire, clenching at the dirt on the ground. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She repeats to herself as tears streams down her cheeks. Catra clenches her eyes shut, ears flattening to her head as she listen to Mara's sobbing apologies silently to herself.
Catra snaps out of her nap and Mara is gone again. Why should she care so much about that crazy bat? Sure she helped Catra, nursing and feeding her. But as soon as Catra was healed she would be out of here and back at...
..the Fright Zone?
Her mind wandering back at the Fright Zone, eyes widening as past events continue crashing into her mind. Her mind feeling like it was being split apart.
"None of this would have happened if you never came out of that portal!"
Did she say that?
Who did she say that too?
Portal?
Adora?
Mara?
The splitting pain was almost too much for Catra. From the corner of her eyes she could see the shadows approaching, inching closer to her. The skin under the bandages felt like it was crawling. Painful. Catra looked down, her right arm inky black, the shadowy darkness spreading closer to her face.
Catra eyes widening, the pain and panic. She opened her mouth and screamed. Everything went black.
"Hey, Nobody. You okay?" Mara's face appeared and Catra blinked, her body feeling like it was wrapped tightly. She looked down seeing that she was tucked tightly and rolled up in the furskin blanket. "What happened?" Catra rasped out, throat parched and wanting something to soothe the burn.
Mara hummed softly as she pat Catra's head, moving the sweaty bangs from her forehead. Catra's headgear on the ground next to her. "Well you started having your screaming fits and the best way for you to calm down was this apparently." She gestured towards the rolled up catgirl, her eyes full of concern. "Are you comfy? Is it too hot? Do you need anything?"
"You're a crazy old bat..." Catra grumbled softly, her face turning red, not from the heat, but embarrassment at being in such a vulnerable position.
Mara lifted Catra's head a bit and tilted a small wooden bowl for her to drink. "Drink this. Don't worry, it's just water."
She drank the, thankfully this time, water—a gasp of relief as her parched throat was finally quenched. Catra's attention going to all the fresh scratches and bite marks on Mara's arms, her ears lowering slightly. Did she do that to her?
Mara glanced down at her arms before meeting back up to the wide bi-colored eyes. "These are nothing. I once had to wrestle a three-headed chimera beast with one hand tied behind my back, because I lost a bet."
"Sounds fake. But go on." Catra murmured slightly from her rolled up position, unable to even wiggle—the enclosed comfortable warmth letting Catra's mind somehow being at ease. The pain slowly numbing away as Catra listened to Mara's story, her eyes glancing and tracing the many scars on the older woman's arms, ignoring the shadowy tendrils that lurked around her vision.
"You were the last She-ra." Catra says suddenly after what felt like forever of sitting in her loose wrapped up position and watching Mara stirring the wooden bowl. The older woman falters for a bit, before smiling and placing the bowl near Catra.
The feline picking up the bowl and downing the medicinal glop with a disgusted grimace, Mara's seeming to brighten up at this almost as if she was gleaming with pride. Catra felt her chest warmed at the look...it must have been the gross gunk.
"What gave it away?" Mara finally asks as Catra wipes her lips with her arm, tongue sticking out.
"Just a guess." Catra mumbles as her claws wrapped around the wooden bowl. "I remember hearing your name and seeing your hologram. Mara, the supposed last She-ra from a thousand years or something like that."
The thought of She-ra made Catra tighten her grip. "Until Adora showed up, of course." The last part was muttered unconsciously out loud. The memories of it all. The small bit of happiness she finally felt. Her jaw clenching tight as she remembered it being cruelly ripped from her once again as always.
"Adora." Mara repeats. "You say that name a lot in your sleep."
Catra jolting up at that, face slightly flushed. "What?! I-I do not! It's not like I like her or anything!"
The knowing smirk on Mara's face and Catra knew she slipped up. "I didn't say anything about liking her."
Catra wanting to get the conversation far away from Adora. "If you're really Mara, the last She-ra from like a thousand years, how are you here? Aren't you like dead?" She paused looking around and down at herself. "Am I dead or something too?"
"Well, yes. I am that Mara. As for how I am here and you..." she paused, looking over Catra with a strange caring gaze that reminded the feline slightly of Adora from long before when she was worth something in Adora's eyes... "More importantly though, how do you feel?" The off-handed question confused Catra.
"You're not answering my questions." The feline huffing, feeling her frustrations building up. Mara has simply been distracting her with stories and lies. Just like everyone else.
"I've answered most of your questions as best as I could." Mara's eyes softening. "Some questions only you can truly answer yourself though."
Catra narrowed her eyes, her temper flaring. She wasn't going get any answers as always. She never get what she wants. "Whatever. Forget I asked anything, I guess." She rolled away from Mara, covering her head with the furskin blanket. "Of course I'm stuck here in some limbo with a She-ra. Just freaking-fantastic."
This time Mara was silent. Catra's ears flattening to her head, eyes clenching tightly as she tried to block out the nightmares—the only sound she could hear in the cave were the hating voices in her mind.
"Would you like to try going out for a bit?" Mara asks after what feels like an eternity of silence since Catra been awake. "Get some fresh air and stretch your legs? There's a creek nearby to wash up too."
Catra perking up just a bit from her spot. "Gonna put me on a lease and take me out for a walk? So generous."
She heard a scoff and she felt Mara pick her up by the wrist. Catra purposely flopping back, making herself a dead weight, just to spite her. The older woman only giving a sigh before lifting Catra also by the leg and hoisting the catgirl over her shoulder.
"Hey, let go of me!" Catra wiggling about trying to make it difficult for Mara to walk. Her breath already coming out short and ragged.
"Have you always been such a brat?" Mara inquires as she walks out the cave, carrying the wounded catgirl over her shoulders easily.
"Have all She-ras always been such a brute?!" Catra hissed, covering her face from the light. It was surprisingly very bright out, around maybe noon or so. How long has Catra been in the cave with Mara? Her sense of time felt so off. Was time even passing here?
Mara pulled Catra over her shoulders until she was holding the catgirl by her underarms, shoving Catra forward letting her take in the view. "Ain't this just a lovely view." Mara asks as she swung Catra around showing her the mountains and forests.
The view...it was grey as always to her. But the way the light touched everything...and the air...Catra took a deep breath of the air. The scent. The wind.
It was nothing like the oil and machinery in the Fright Zone. The whisperings and unsettling feeling like the Whispering Woods.
"I guess...it's pretty nice..." she looked down, seeing her legs still dangling as the other woman was still holding her up. "You can put me down now, you know..."
Mara took Catra to a creek. Catra glad her body was able to cooperate with her, allowing her to be able to climb down without too much hassle. Mara watching over Catra like a hawk in case the wounded girl needed help. It was embarrassing to say the least with how quickly Mara would be by Catra's side, supporting and praising the Ex-Horde Soldier.
Catra sat near the cool water soaking her legs. She didn't like the water much, but the dry blood and mud coated in her fur being washed away by the water was certainly a much nicer feeling.
"Hey, Nobody. Tell me about Adora." Mara asks as she flicks some droplet of water at Catra. The feline retorting back with a hiss and a kick, soaking Mara with a splash. "Back off, you noisy old bat."
"That's not fair! I told you so many of my grand adventures!"
"That was your fault, not mine. Most of those adventures weren't even that grand, lame is what most of them were!"
Mara whines and Catra wonders just how old Mara is...was? How old when she became She-ra? How old when she first held the sword and the fate of the world was thrust onto her shoulders? Was she just as old as Adora?
Catra grumbled a bit. Hating how her thoughts always went back to Adora. She kicked more water at Mara. "How about I tell you about the time I beat up a lizard gangleader. Stole his whip, his jacket, and his entire gang."
Mara's eyes seem to sparkle brightly at that. "Nobody got some pretty big balls." She cupped some water in her hands and splashed Catra back in retaliation. The small creek in the forest ringing with splashes and Mara's laughter and Catra's yelling.
"What's in that bowl?" Catra slurs from her lounging position on the blanket, her claws clacking at the empty wooden bowl she had laying next to her—mind already drifting off. Her hair done in a giant low messy braid, curtesy of Mara.
Mara looked up from her spot in front of the fire, her hand still stirring at a bowl for quite some time now. The content clear and seemingly to sparkle. The ex-Warrior Princess only smiling at Catra's question. "It's a surprise."
Catra's eyes droop and she feels herself drifts off, her tail swaying back and forth as she continue to watch Mara. "I hate surprises."
"Well maybe you'll like this one. This was something Razz taught me." Mara's stirring slowed as she looked lost in thought. "Of course, she's a terrible teacher so there were lots of explosions the first few times."
"Heh...Razz is cool...tell me more about her..." Catra's mind drift as she listened to Mara talk about Razz. Her mind trying to picture what pink would look like and how it would be to watch the stars with Adora.
The next time Catra's eyes open, all she saw was dark. The fire completely out.
"H-hey?! Old bat?!" Her voice echoing back, her ears folded back at how scared her voice sounded. Her heart suddenly thudding as she struggled, glancing around in a panic.
"Hey, it's okay, Nobody. Look up." Mara's voice was calm and steady, cutting sharp through Catra's panicked mind.
Catra eyes looked up, widening at the sight—a small gasp escaping her mouth. The cavern ceiling were painted with little glitters all over. Glittering and sparkling so much in the darkness. Her eyes glancing around in the dark, mesmerized at the sparkling twinkling lights. So many of them surrounding her.
"It doesn't beat the real thing." Mara's voice was close. Catra's eyes quickly getting used to the darkness, spotting the woman lying a little away from the blanket. "But it's the closest we can get at the moment. Took me a while to get it to sparkle perfectly and paint it on there."
Catra's eyes moved back to the ceiling. The psuedo-stars were beautiful in the dark. Catra wondered if the real stars were as beautiful. Was this what Adora dreamed about? They were so beautiful. Sparkly...glittering...shimmering.
Catra felt her eyes prickle, her heart tightening as anger and frustration clouded her mind. She covered her eyes with her hands, cursing loudly. "Dammit! Dammit!"
"A-Are you okay?" Mara's voice sounded frantic and worried. The older woman's hands moving Catra's away from her face, touching her tear-stained cheeks, cradling Catra gently as she looked at the feline with a concerned motherly gaze Catra never seen directed towards her.
"Don't touch me!" Catra cried, her claws lashing out and scratching Mara. The older woman gasping before quickly backing away, holding her wounded arm, the blood dripping and Catra felt her heart sink.
"I-I..." Catra sobbed, claws gripping tight on the blanket. The tears finally flowing, the walls she built around her emotions crumbling. "I want to love it..." Catra choked out. Her teary eyes, landing on the empty bowl stained with the starry paint. How long has Mara spent working on this? Just to show something so beautiful to someone like her?
"But...I hate it..." her claws gripping at the blanket, tearing a new hole into it. Because Catra always ruins everything. Because she's not a good person.
"You hate it?" Mara's voice is gentle and soft. Not sad or angry, only concerned. The woman inching closer as if not learning her lesson earlier, the scratch on her arm already forgotten. Catra curled up into the blanket in a fetal position, back towards Mara ashamed to face her. "They remind me of my failures."
"Your failures."
Catra clenched her eyes shut. Not wanting to see the look on Mara's face. The look of disappointment. Shame. Anger.
"Failure! That's what I am! What I always will be!" The tears wouldn't stop nor the words. The self loathing. The grief. "I lied...manipulated...hurt ...my friends...so many people." She wasn't a good person. She wasn't.
"I destroyed villages and homes." Her mind felt numb, the pain prickling her right side. "I...I..." her mind flashing back to snowy white terrains. Her hand with the virus, infecting She-ra's sword. "I tried to destroy She-ra...so many times."
Hordak's lab. Her hand on the switch. Adora's betrayed expression. "I destroyed Etheria..." her breath coming out ragged. "...they all treated me like I was nothing. A failure. And then...I destroyed Etheria..." Her heart tightening as she remembered the world beyond that. The world she wanted to give to Adora. The world that Adora rejected. "I betrayed Adora...everyone for nothing..."
"I don't deserve any of this...anything...I'm not a good person..." The only sound echoing in the starry cavern walls were Catra's sobbing and hiccupping. Mara just silent and listening softly.
"Have I told you the story about how I failed as She-ra?" The voice finally spoke out. It sounded so sad, almost as if breaking.
Catra hiccupping softly, turning to look at Mara over her shoulder. "Failed? The great She-ra?" She scoffed at the idea.
Mara smiles sadly in the twinkling darkness. "I never wanted to be a hero. It was a responsibility pushed onto me...I did my best to live up to the expectation though..." Catra uncurled herself to look over at Mara, the older woman lost in the past. "Because I didn't have a choice."
She sighed, "And then I made many terrible choices after that. Made so many terrible mistakes. Hurt so many people...taken so many lives..." Mara looked so faraway. "Then I hid from my shame...I casted Etheria into Despondos and ran away."
"Casted..."
Mara's eyes seemed brighter than the painted stars, her smile solemn. "Yes...I am Mara...the She-ra who sent the world into chaos." Her eyes looking over Catra with a warm loving kindness. "So Nobody Important screwed up the planet? That make the both of us, huh?"
Catra blinked once before laughing. An ugly sobbing laugh ripping from her throat, tears streaming from her face. Is that what this place was? Was this a punishment for those who tried to destroy the world? Or has Catra simply gone crazy?
She giggled, hiccuping softly. "You crazy old bat..." Catra's mind exhausted from crying so much. Her head feeling full and she blew her nose loudly.
"Oh, come on. No, come here." Mara grabbing Catra's face and holding a cloth to her nose. "Now blow."
"Stop it! What the heck!" Catra's voice nasally. "You remind me of myself a little." Mara says fondly, wiping the tears from Catra's cheek. Catra leaning into the touch for a moment, but then her body suddenly stiffened, heart pounding quickly, and she quickly pulled herself away from Mara's touch. "Of you?"
Mara lay back down to stare back up at the ceiling cavern. "You're more like Razz in a way that you both don't seem to listen to anyone and you're both so dang stubborn." She chuckles with a faraway gaze. "But you also remind me of when I was a young dumb punk like you."
Catra slowly lay back down and stare up at the painted stars, her head feeling numb and fuzzy from crying so much.
"I wanna hear more..."
As always Mara obliges. "How about the time I had to wrestle with the beasts of Beast Island?"
"Nah. Sounds boring." Catra yawned, smirking at the pout she knew was directed at her. "I don't want to hear any more She-ra stuff." She turned her head to Mara, eyes glowing bright in the dark. "I wanna hear about Mara and Razz."
Those blue eyes widen at this before Mara laughs, clear and bright. "Only if you tell me about you and Adora."
Catra turns her flushed face against the blanket muttering about crazy old bats. But maybe it was the slop Mara called medicine. Or the crying. Or maybe the painted stars...but this time Catra closes her eyes and obliges, recounting a tale of a young Catra and Adora. Mara sitting by with a soft smile, listening to every word.
After finishing a tale about how Catra took an eye from a senior Horde officer at a young age. The Ex-Horde Soldier looked at the Ex-Warrior Princess, a question at the tip of her tongue. She glances back at the ceiling, noting every sparkle and shapes.
"How long..." she begins, knowing Mara was still listening to her. Always paying attention. "How long...since you been here?" By herself?
"Who knows..." Mara closes her eyes with a smile. "I been here for so very long...but..." she turned her head to look at Catra with such an affectionate smile. "I do know I haven't been this happy in a long time I've been here."
Catra felt her cheeks warm and she quickly averted those affectionate blue eyes that were just so familiar, hopefully the dark hiding her embarrassed expression.
"Razz and I spoke about children." Mara laughed, her voice growing softer. Almost sounding sleepy. "Maybe adopting the children who lost their homes and families. All living in a house in the forest. Happy and content."
Catra felt her eyes droop, not yet ready for the sleep to take over once again. Mara sounded sad... "That's what I wanted...a simple life..." it was just a whisper, but Catra still heard it. "Did you have anything you ever wanted?"
Catra gazed up at the painted starry cavern ceiling. The twinkling stars in the darkness was comforting. "Everything I ever want always gets taken from me."
"What was it you wanted?"
Catra opened her mouth before closing it and opening it again. Power. Respect. Approval. That was all she ever wanted...right?
But in her perfect world...
What was it that Catra truly wanted?
"I don't know..."
Catra continue to stare at the fake flickering stars. Wondering what would Adora's expression be if Catra showed her this. Would her eyes shine as brightly as the stars? Would it just be the two of them under the stars? Would...Adora even want to look at Catra the same way again?
"What do you want?" Mara asks again softly. "What do you think you want now?"
Catra took a shuddering breath, her eyes prickling slightly. The many lights becoming fuzzy in her vision. Perhaps another impossible thing for her. But...
"I...want to show...her this" Something she may never truly get. "Show...Adora..." Something she may never have. "The stars..."
But Catra was stubborn. She took a deep breath, her expression full of determination. "I want to...bring the stars back."
Mara laughs loudly at this. "Bring the stars back? Ahaha!" She ran her hand through her hair, taking a deep breath. "I believe you can do it." It wasn't said sarcastically, she said it confidently. As if she truly believed that Catra could do it. So full of pride and support. "You did it once...I know you can do it again." Catra's eyes widening just a bit, a warm feeling surging in her.
"I can't wait to see those stars again..." Mara says dreamily. Catra's eyes becoming heavy-lidded as sleep was slowly overcoming her. "Yeah...me too." Catra and Mara falling asleep together under the starry caverns.