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“Can you stop your incessant tapping” Madara's voice came from Hashirama's left side. He slams his hand on the table, looking up over his reading glasses.
“Oh. Is it bothering you?” Tobirama speaks without even looking in his direction. His taps get ever slightly louder. Madara's hair practically prickles like a cat, and Hashirama stares at the burn mark and water damage that's been done to his office.
Everyone blames his lack of paperwork due to how irresponsible he is. Honestly, that's not exactly inaccurate, but there's another reason for that.
“Do you think your better than me?” Madara hisses, standing up now. “Oh, he who can't be distracted?”
“That's certainly not true. You're quite the distraction right now.” Tobirama says finally looking up to him, completely calm and unaffected.
A blush quickly spreads on Madara's features before rage quickly takes over. “Oh and what does that mean?! Maybe you're the distraction...because you're...you're...” Madara frowns, turning pink again before frowning deep. “Stupid.”
Tobirama raises his eyebrows, and that was when Hashirama decides to intervene. He can't keep doing this. They can't keep flirting like this in front of him. Tobirama enjoys riling Madara up but doesn't think Madara actually likes him. Madara takes Tobirama's teasing as mildly malicious, and thus he won't ever admit his feelings. Anyone with EYES knows the two like each other except for them. Meanwhile, he's forced to watch his best friend and brother flirt like teenagers and destroy his office and plants in the process
“Now now! Let's not fight.” Hashirama laughs before standing up, trying to spread his happy but murderous aura. “I know what will get everyone in good spirits. I was gifted this lovely tea the other day, and I'm told it does wonder for those in disagreements.”
Was it unethical to use a tea spiked in a jutsu that would allow his and Izuna's plan to come into fruition? Yes. However, he'd lost three plants in the past month. Three! It was time to take action.
“I'm not really su-” Tobirama tried to start as Hashirama had plopped a cup of tea on his desk and gave him a sweet smile that dared him to deny the tea. He frowned before taking it and eyeing Madara who had also taken it with mild grumbling.
“Tea.” Hashirama sits back at his desk. “Tea and quiet or I'll leave both of you to Mito's wrath next.”
Mito is usually the best way to stop the two in their tracks, but if he over uses her power, she'll destroy him next. The tea is her idea anyway. It's apparently an Uzumaki trick.
They do manage to burn one more plant before the day is over. Then, Tobirama manages to cause more water damage. Any regret he has about tricking them goes completely down the drain
His head feels like it's on fire. In fact, he feels like he's on fire, like someone threw several fur coats over his face. He'd long since trained his leopards to not sleep on his face, so it was strange to say the least.
...Not as strange at how bright – and yet blurry in a way he wasn't accustomed to – the world seemed to be. Or that this was most certainly not his room. There was the Uchiwa on the wall and this room was far too organized to be his own. There was no one else here, and no hint that there had been. He wasn't one to party anyway.
Wait. Hair? He looked to the side to see the nest of black hair. Oh no.
Quickly, he stood in front of the mirror to see – which was still so much better than his own eyes – a body that was definitely not his. Did one of his jutsu go wrong? He hadn't even done anything new yesterday, as there was too much paperwork to be done...
“Aniki!” came the voice of his rival, Izuna. “I'm respecting your privacy as my older brother by knocking first, but also I'm coming in anyway.”
“Ah. Izuna.” Tobirama started before realizing that was not Madara-like at all. Izuna shot him a skeptical look before Tobirama quickly did his best Madara expression.
“What do you want, Otouto? Don't you know it's too early for the likes of you to be bothering me?” Shooting him his best glare, he crossed his arms trying to channel all the frustration he's always seen the man exude. He could practically feel his hair prickle like a porcupine when he did that. How did the man live like this?
“Oh. I know, I know” Izuna waved him off before narrowing his eyes and poking him in the chest. “Are you going to finally man up and admit your feelings to Tobirama today? I'm sure Hashirama must be tired of watching you two flirt.”
“What. I do not flirt with him!” That actually comes off as actual frustration. Sure, he does enjoy watching the Uchiha fluff up like the big cat that he is. Madara is rather cute like that, but the other man hates his guts. Always has, always will. “I hate him. He's a bastard who's out for the Uchiha clan.”
“...I don't know who you think you're fooling. I know you haven't thought that since the day he saved me from the plant thing. He's rough around the edges, but his heart is in the right place even if he's terrible at expressing it. That's what you told me last time. I'm telling you Aniki, he likes you a lot. All you have to do is tell him. Please.” Izuna's look is searching like he's waiting for a response.
Madara likes him? Genuinely likes him? Sure, he had saved Izuna, but they'd always been at each other's throats. Madara still didn't trust him, right? He still thought he was out to destroy him. After all, Tobirama and Izuna had protested the village the most. Izuna had that creature to blame, but Tobirama had only his own personality and paranoia.
Besides, most people couldn't stand him. He was terrible at social skills and far too blunt. Everything he said to Madara, even if it wasn't meant to, seemed to make the other freak out. They'd burn the village down if they were allowed to actually....though considering the state of Hashirama's office, perhaps they would do that anyway.
“...Are you sure, Izuna...?” Tobirama speaks maybe softer than Madara ought to, his concentration slipping for the moment. Izuna grabs his shoulder and nods.
“Now, how about you guys resolve all this before you go into the office? I'm sure you can catch him on the way to the tower, right?” Izuna grins shoving him towards the wardrobe.
Tobirama does his best to fluff up and huff as he's seem Madara do often when someone tells him to do something before getting dressed.
The second he slips out the door, Izuna calls one of his cat summons.
“Tell Hashirama once he's alone that my part of the plan has been done...” He smirks as the cat nods and heads out.
Perhaps Madara wasn't the neatest of people. His room was cleaner than Izuna's that was for sure.
He was however fairly certain that he woke up to his hair suffocating him, not his paperwork giving him paper-cuts. Was this some sort of prank for not finishing his stack before heading out last night? Even Tobirama wouldn't curse him like this, would he?
He knew the man thought he was a egotistical, idiot who had poor anger management skills, but he wouldn't go that far right?
“Tobira~” Came Hashirama's far too loud and peppy voice for this time in the morning. Wait. Why was the tree in his house right now? Why was he calling for Tobirama in his house right now? “I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but as your older brother I'm coming in anyway!”
Wait. What. Was he in his room? He wasn't decent. Sure, he had more feelings for the albino than he'd like to admit, considering the man hated his guts, but he wasn't ready to practically flash him. “Don't come in I'm not decent, you idiot!”
“Tobira~, don't be silly. I've seen you naked before!” The door swings open as Hashirama looks straight at him. Or at least he thought he was. It was hard to see like this. Pushing chakra to his eyes didn't activate his Sharingan, but using his chakra senses seemed to help him place things a little easier.
Wait, was that tree looking at him? Looking around there wasn't anyone else here, and with his sensing skills, though he wasn't as good as Tobirama, he didn't sense anyone el- His shoulders were far too cold to be right.
...His hands were the wrong color. Oh.
“....Get out of my room, Aniue.” Madara did his best to keep his expression and voice neutral. How did Tobirama do that while looking at this oaf of a person? His smile made you want to smile along, or at least punch him.
“But Tobira!” Hashirama whined, shoving his arm. “I need to talk to you. Please. Can you just admit to Madara that you like him? I know you think he hates you, but he really doesn't. I'm his best friend and while he won't admit to me that you like him, Izuna says that he totally likes you. And do you think Izuna, your rival, would lie about that?” Now, Hashirama shook him harder. “Please, my plants can't take much more.”
There was no way this was real. Was this a genjutsu? It certainly didn't feel like one. This was definitely Tobirama's body, which meant Hashirama thought he was talking to his brother. That meant...that Tobirama the ice prince who bullied him on a daily basis...actually liked him? Really? The man enjoyed making him want to punch him in the face. What did he get off on that?
Oh. Maybe he did.
“...Are you telling me...he likes me?” Of course, Madara was talking about Tobirama liking him, and while Hashirama knew this was really Madara, Hashirama nods before digging out some clothes from the supposedly clean clothes pile.
“Go tell him your feelings, Tobira. I'll make sure to have a late start today. Please, I'm getting a new cactus and I don't want to lose this one.”
A cactus that lived! His first gift from Suna he didn't have to explain why it no longer existed!
As Madara makes his way out the door, Izuna's summon appears on the window sill. Hashirama gives it a scratch behind its ears.
“I can't believe this is working? Let Izuna know my side is done too.”
It was truly an out of body experience to see his own body in front of him. The Sharingan was activated, which made several people in the vicinity nervous. Perhaps he wasn't much better, using the wall as a general guide when he wasn't completely sure his sensing was right.
“Turn those off.” Madara hisses because really he doesn't need people spreading rumors about him needing to have it on all the time.
“Stop using the wall too then.” Tobirama frowns deeply, deactivating the Sharingan. “Everything far away is fine, but I can't read anything. I don't understand how you live like this.”
“You're literally legally blind, and you're asking me how I live like this?” Madara bristles, or at least he tries. He doesn't have his hair to bristle. “Listen. Forget our bickering, I would like to talk to you in private.”
Nodding, Tobirama leads him into the little cafe nearby. “I will admit this is...strange. To see myself like this.”
The silence is awkward as the attempt to find space out of sight from prying eyes.
“Oh, I agree. Especially since...” Madara frowns looking to the side. “...Tobirama, is it true that you don't hate me? That perhaps maybe even, you like me? Like like me?” The words took awhile for Madara to get out. In fact, they sat at the table for a few minutes in complete silence before he spoke. Tobirama would have said something, but the other looked like he wanted to talk and even tried to talk several times.
“I wasn't aware we were children.” Tobirama rolled his eyes at Madara's choice of words but continued before Madara could snap back. “But yes. I do have feelings for you. I've been led to believe that you have feelings for me too. I would kiss you however...”
“You have to kiss!” Hashirama says in a poor disguise from the table behind them. “True love's first kiss will break the juts-” Izuna covers Hashirama's mouth.
Tobirama and Madara both stare at each other and then Hashirama for a moment before simultaneously saying “The tea.” Of course, it's the tea that's swapped them.
“Great Job, Loud mouth!” Izuna hisses out before dragging him by the collar quickly out of the cafe. “Now, they're gonna come after both of us...together. Oh this is bad.”
“I'm not quite sure this is true love, as I'm not some sap, but...” Tobirama closes his eyes and leans in, gently pressing his lips against Madara's. Madara flushes and shuts his eyes tight, kissing back.
The room spins and when they open their eyes, they're staring at each other. Actually each other.
“Well, Let's 'thank' our brothers, hm?” Madara says, Sharingan spinning to life.
“In a moment.” Tobirama grabs Madara by the collar and kisses him properly. “We know where they live. We can get them back whenever,”