Chapter Text
Chapter 1
You’ve come across Hanahaki before. After all, your brother is a doctor who specialises in treating it. But more than that- it’s a disease that comes from unrequited love, and since you are a wedding planner, it would be more surprising if you hadn’t encountered a few bruised hearts along the way. Weddings just seems to be a place where unrequited love exposes itself. A bridesmaid, with a bit of an unexplained cough in the days leading up to the wedding, or maybe a groomsman who looks a little pale on the day of the rehearsal dinner, or even once when the cleaners reported to you that they found the dreaded petals that are a hallmark of the deadly disease scattered all over the bathroom floor but cleaned it up before anyone could see. Before the wedding could be ruined. After all, nothing puts a damper on a wedding like one of its attendees suffering from the dreaded Hanahaki disease. But you’ve never encountered it in such proximity as you are in this moment- most people will hide the disease until they are able to get treatment, in the form of therapy, or even hypnotherapy or surgery in more severe cases. You usually don’t know about it until after the wedding but here it is, right in front of you, before you’d even started. The crimson rose petals look like blood splatters across the pristine white tiles of the bathroom floor.
When the manager to your small event-planning business, the very man who had helped you start it up five years ago and had been your partner since, first asked you to plan his best friend’s wedding, you’d thought it would be a relatively simple affair. You certainly never could have imagined that your quiet business partner could be suffering to such a degree right beneath your nose. Outside the bathroom, the engagement party that he had invited you to is in full swing. You’d come to meet his best friend, your new client- she had apparently seen the viral video that launched your career as a wedding planner many years ago and begged Jungkook to invite you. Honestly, as long as she didn’t ask for a discount, you were more than happy to plan her wedding for her. Jungkook, though not the most reliable person in the world, and not even your favourite coworker, has a big heart and good intentions and you’d have to be heartless to turn down a favour to him.
That was how this all started- at his invite you had worn one of your nicer dresses and made your trek to the engagement party with the intention of meeting your next clients. Only, when you had turned up earlier in the night, he had been nowhere to be found despite having invited you and you didn’t know what the bride-to-be or her fiancé looked like. After ploughing awkwardly through small talk with people you didn’t know and searching desperately for Jungkook, you’d opted to lock yourself in the small bathroom to try and call him.
Only to find him collapsed and surrounded by the eerie rose petals behind the door he’d forgotten to unlock. Jungkook gazes up at you with slightly fearful, unfocused eyes. They are bloodshot, perhaps from the effort of the hacking cough that no doubt accompanied such an episode. His hair, which is always a little fluffy and messy because he falls asleep at his desk and presses it into weird shapes by doing so, is a total mess now. It sticks up in every direction. You hadn’t noticed it before now, but he’s also lost weight- his cheek bones have lost that soft, round appearance they’d had when he’d first approached you to start a business together. Now his face is all sharp angles. And his entire body shakes with the effort he has just exerted.
“Jungkook,” You croak, and you wince at the way your voice comes out. “Wha-“
“Will you still organise her wedding?” He interrupts, as if your plans to organise his best friend’s wedding is the most pressing part of the predicament you are in. And not, you know, the fact that your assistant, your business partner, the person who’d helped you build your business up from the ground, is dying. In one of the most agonising, miserable ways that someone could slowly die.
“Is that important right now?” You cry. “How long have you-“
You are interrupted right then by a gentle knock on the door.
“Kookie?” You hear a soft, female voice call. “Are you ok? You’ve been in there a while.”
Jungkook’s eyes go round and slightly shiny with panic and the words die in your throat. The woman on the other side of the door is almost definitely the best friend he was talking about- his panicked reaction pretty much confirms it. And since he’s in the bathroom of her engagement party heaving deadly flowers across the sleek white tiles, she’s probably the cause behind his Hanahaki. Exposing his disease would probably be very, very bad. Yet, he’s barely strong enough to lift himself from where he is collapsed against the bathroom cabinet, let alone discard of the bright red rose petals that would expose him as not only being in love with someone who doesn’t love him back, but also to be dying from that love. The doorknob slowly begins to turn since you hadn’t remembered to lock it (although, neither had he).
You don’t know why you help him. Yes, he’s your business partner, but he’s never been more than that. The one and only time you’d ever made an attempt to get to know him outside of a work setting and invited him to come along to an event one of your friends was putting on, he’d politely declined and hightailed it out of there like you’d invited him to join some sort of cult. Your other employees had gleefully agreed and had the time of their lives, but not him. Since then, you’d gotten the hint that he only wanted a professional relationship and had never made any sort of attempt to cross that boundary again. Even coming to this party had been a difficult decision since prior to this request he had been so determined to draw a line in the sand. This is the extent of your relationship- so you have no obligation or reason to help him.
But you want to. Something about the way that he looks at you, fear-stricken and devastated, has your body responding before your mind catches up.
“He’s fine!” You call out to the voice on the other side of the door. The doorknob pauses in its agonisingly slow turn. “He’s just had a little too much to drink!”
“Who’s that?” The woman’s voice responds, sounding surprised and a little alarmed. Jungkook winces.
“I’m a friend of Jungkook’s.” You answer back. “It’s a massive mess in here, trust me, you do not want to come in right now. He’s vomited. Like, everywhere.” You explain in a flustered panic.
“He has? Oh my goodness- hold on, I’ll-“ The woman exclaims, about to burst in and ruin both her life and her best friend’s.
“Don’t worry about him, ok? He’s fine. I’ll clean up and take him home- enjoy your engagement party!” You urge hastily before she can do it. There is a moment of silence on the other side.
“Kook,” The voice calls softly. “Is that true?”
Jungkook stares at you for a long moment in complete and utter bewilderment. Like he can’t fathom why you’re helping him. Honestly, neither can you. He’s not even been a particularly good manager. He always double books your appointments and keeps spilling food crumbs on the keyboard and breaking it when they get stuck between the keys. And the other week he broke the coffee machine and both Seokjin and Seri had had mental breakdowns as a direct result. Even if this business was only started because he helped you when no one else did, it had been in an entirely professional sense. He had made that much clear. And professionals wouldn’t help each other with a messy and complicated situation like this- if it were Seokjin you wouldn’t have even come to the engagement party.
“Yes.” He croaks. “I’m fine, Minah.” His voice is raspy and cracked, and it actually sounds like he’s been heaving his guts out. Which, he sort of has. Just, not because of alcohol.
“If you’re sure.” She answers and then she leaves- she is probably keen to return to her engagement party and not that keen to clean vomit off the floor of her fiancé’s bathroom.
The two of you are silent as you crouch down. There’s a dustpan tucked beneath the bathroom sink. You use it to gather up the petals and flush them down the toilet. You then turn to Jungkook- he looks like he’s just run a marathon while suffering from food poisoning. He’s pale and sweaty and the dark circles beneath his eyes look like bruises. Hesitantly, you tug the hand towel off the ring next to the sink and pass it to him.
“Was that her?” You ask. You don’t elaborate further- you don’t really need to. Isn’t he here, on the verge of passing out in the bathroom instead of enjoying the party thrown to celebrate his best friend’s happiness? That in itself is telling enough. He’s in love with his best friend. And, if the sweet-smelling petals and engagement party outside are anything to go by, she does not feel the same way.
“Yes.” He says. His voice is close to a whisper. “That was her.”
He lets out a soft, weak groan as he raises the towel and wipes the sweat off his brow. His hair clings to his forehead and his white shirt is slightly translucent because it is now sweat soaked. He’s a complete, total mess.
“How long have you…” Your voice dies in your throat, for some reason. This whole situation is a lot to process and you don’t even know where to start or what to ask. “How long have you been… like this?”
Of course, the real question is, how long have you missed this? How long has your partner been suffering, dying, without you even suspecting it? Perhaps he senses the sheer distress that builds up in you like a tsunami wave for he cannot look you in the eye as he admits his next words.
“Just over a year. Since she… since she started dating him.” He confesses. Your eyes nearly bug out of your head.
“A year?” Thankfully you have the presence of mind not to screech the words, but you don’t have the presence of mind to do much else. “You’ve been going through this for an entire year? Are you… have you been getting treatment?”
The disease is treatable, after all. Usually if the person affected can fall out of love, the disease stops progressing, and that is the aim of treatment. Though the side effect of medical intervention in severe cases like you suspect Jungkook’s is, is to lose all memories of the subject of the unrequited love. And while not everyone has to lose their memories to recover from the disease, it’s difficult- impossible for some- to fall out of love without such intervention. It’s why most people who suffer from Hanahaki must endure a combination of surgery, therapy and medication to help them move on. It’s a terrible price to pay for recovery, but the alternative is death.
But Jungkook does not assuage your worries with hasty assurance. Instead, he stares up at you almost balefully and that answers your question. How else could the disease have progressed so far? It looks like an entire bouquet was brutally murdered and left for dead on the floor in front of you. You feel slightly ill yourself- an entire year, suffering on his own. Not once, in that entire year, did Jungkook ask for help. He didn’t take a single sick day. He didn’t complain when you or your other employees got cranky with him for screwing up the rosters or breaking the photocopier or missing his appointment with the accountant.
“Why not?” You breathe, even as tears pool in your eyes and threaten to spill forth. Jungkook’s expression crumples.
“I couldn’t…” He can’t bring himself to say the words for a moment. He takes a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. Finally, he looks up at you, and he looks embarrassed. Ashamed. “I didn’t want to forget her. The doctors said that might be the only way for me to get better. She’s my best friend and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing the happiest moments of my life… and I was worried she’d get hurt if she knew.”
“Oh Jungkook,” You cry. “But why didn’t you tell us? We could have helped you! We could have done something!”
He looks a little sheepish.
“I… didn’t think you needed to know.” He admits.
Oh.
Oh…
For a moment, you are speechless, but then you regain your composure. In all this, how could you forget? Jungkook isn’t your friend. He doesn’t want to be and has never wanted to be. Still… you thought that even though your relationship was to remain strictly professional, that starting a business together meant something- that you could, at the very least, be friends. Clearly not.
“Right.” You say, and you wince at the hurt in your own tone. Jungkook looks surprised to hear it as well. “No, of course. It’s not like we’re partners or anything, right? We’re on a strictly need-to-know basis. It’s stupid for me to care about you since you clearly don’t care about me, so obviously we wouldn’t share about this sort of thing-“
“(Y/N)-“ Jungkook weakly interrupts in a protest, looking surprisingly guilty. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just-“
“It’s fine.” You cut him off hastily, though you avoid his gaze. “Let’s just get you cleaned up and go home, ok?”
Jungkook looks like it is not fine, but he is too weak and exhausted to protest or to try and convince you otherwise. Instead he is forced to focus what little energy he has left on getting home and you are able to act like you’re not upset until you are safely within the confines of your own apartment.
It is there that you crumble weakly to the ground and allow the question you’ve been avoiding the whole time to fill your mind.
What are you going to do?
++
Days end and days start, and life goes on. You still have to go in for work the next day regardless of what you discovered about your business partner. Thankfully, you don’t have to deal with him straight away- in the morning you take two clients on a venue tour to help them decide where they might like to hold their ceremony, and just before lunch Seri and Seokjin contact you demanding to try a new patisserie that opened up. They claim it would be a great place to trial cake testing and recommend future clients looking for someone to make a cake for their wedding, but you also know the two trouble makers just want to eat cake on the company card.
“Is… Jungkook going to come?” You question hesitantly.
“Does he ever come with us anywhere? He’s skipped five company dinners in a row now.” Seokjin points out impatiently. Seri has you on speaker and you hear her cheer her agreement. “Besides, he’s not the one booking things for clients, we are. He doesn’t need to know if the cakes taste good. We can bring him back one if it matters that much.”
That’s all the convincing you need- it means you can avoid Jungkook just that little longer. It is not like you think less of him, or anything, for being in love with his best friend, or that you are upset that he didn’t tell you. It’s more that you don’t know how to react. One of the reasons he didn’t tell you or the others was probably that he didn’t want to be treated with kid gloves, but you don’t think you can treat him the same when you now know he’s as sick as he is. Therein lies your dilemma- do you treat him the same, knowing he’s ill and requires more patience and kindness and perhaps more time off? Or do you make allowances for him? But what if he doesn’t want that? And are you meant to keep it a secret from Seokjin and Seri?
Those are the questions that plague your mind all throughout your cake-tasting session. Seri and Seokjin seem to notice your distraction.
“Is everything ok?” Seri, the more astute of the two, questions. She is the most recent hire- Seokjin had been complaining that his good looks were garnering more clients that just the two of you could handle and since Jungkook’s job lay less in the event planning side of things and more in the business management side, eventually he had agreed that you had enough clientele to warrant a third hire. Her efficiency and quick-witted nature had quickly won over clients and she brought with her almost as many connections (which were always helpful to have in this industry) as Seokjin did, which was saying something since Seokjin was the son of a very wealthy family. For a moment, you debate lying to her, but the weight of your discovery is too heavy to bear alone.
“Have either of you ever seen the Hanahaki disease before?” You question. Both pause to consider their answers.
“Isn’t that that disease from unrequited love? The one where you throw up flowers or something if the person you love doesn’t love you back? Of course I have!” Seokjin laughs. “You don’t get this beautiful without a few people falling in love with me.”
“Disgusting and ignorant comment aside, it’s a lot more complicated than that.” Seri protests in response to her co-worker. “It’s not if the person doesn’t love you back- it’s if you think they don’t love you back… Didn’t you see that news article the other day about the couple and that woman with self-esteem issues who ended up with disease even though her partner loved her heaps?”
“Pedantics.” Seokjin says dismissively. “Why are you asking though, (Y/N)?” He pauses mid-bite and then his eyes go wide with horror. “Wait… you’re not suffering from it, are you? Ugh, I always knew the thing you had for Jungkook would get you in trouble, I just didn’t think it would be this bad! I thought maybe since not everyone with unrequited feelings ends up with Hanahaki that you were probably safe but I guess I was wrong-“
“I do not have Hanahaki.” You cut him off icily and then blink a few times. “Wait, who said I have a thing for Jungkook?”
Seokjin coughs awkwardly and shovels an absurdly large mouthful of cake into his mouth to avoid answering. Seri looks contemplative.
“If you don’t have it, why are you suddenly asking about it?” She questions, perceptive and quick-on-the-uptake as always. You wince.
“Oh, you know…” You elaborate vaguely, complete with awkward hand gestures. “I think I saw some petals in the bathroom at that wedding I attended last week. You know the one, with the special car they wanted to drive that I had to go to thirteen different mechanics to fix.”
Both Seokjin and Seri wince with sympathy at the recall. Now that they’ve both been working for you for a significant amount of time, they are more familiar with the more specific and difficult requests some clients have when it comes to planning their weddings.
“Thank goodness it was during the ceremony you discovered it.” Seri exclaims. “Imagine having to deal with someone suffering from Hanahaki while trying to plan an intense wedding like that one?”
“What would you do?” You question, eyeing your cake in what you hope is a nonchalant and uninterested way. You’re trying to look like you’re just making casual conversation about a hypothetical situation rather than trying to ask for advice in a very real, very troubling situation. “If you did discover that? Like… say someone from the bridal party or one of the groomsmen had Hanahaki and you found out just after agreeing to plan the wedding?”
“I would quit, probably.” Seri admits, a hand coming up to flip her hair callously over her shoulder. “One of the reasons I’ve always respected you as my boss is because you always stress that some clients are not worth the money that they bring to us. And a wedding like that sounds like it wouldn’t just be stressful for me- It would be detrimental to our business and reputation. Probably wouldn’t make it to the wedding day, anyway.”
For a moment, you just stare at her, bewildered. But then the truth of her statement sinks in- how could you agree to plan this wedding, when things are just messed up before even starting? You like to pride yourself on your ability to see problems before they happen and fix them- it’s why you’re such a successful wedding planner. So, why would you plan a wedding that you knew would be trouble from the moment Jungkook approached you, hands trembling and eyes wide and imploring? No- no. This is not a wedding you want anything to do with.
There is still the issue that refusing to plan this wedding will not magically heal Jungkook. Who even knows how long he has been in love with his best friend? But you suppose there is only so much you can do for him while respecting his boundaries- as much as it hurts you to just leave him alone when you know that he has been suffering in silence for over a year, there is simply nothing you can do. You’ll speak to him and perhaps put him on annual leave until after the wedding is over. Perhaps he’ll finally get the treatment he needs, then, and then things will be back to normal.
You smile weakly at your two employees and both watch you cautiously, perhaps trying to discern the situation behind your vague but concerning questions.
“Thanks guys. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about.” You tell them dismissively. “Just something to think about- who knows. Maybe we should implement a Hanahaki work policy.”
Any further discussion is stopped there with the arrival of the next cake, some sort of coconut cream masterpiece, and you think your employees have dropped it.
They really hadn’t though.
++
Of course, it’s one thing to decide not to do the wedding and an entirely different thing to tell Jungkook that. You manage to avoid the office for the rest of the day by dropping Seokjin and Seri off to finish their affairs and then exerting your rare privilege as the owner of the business to have the afternoon off.
Of course, packed as your schedule is, you can only avoid going into the office space you rent for so long. You’re debating on whether you should cancel on the clients you were meant to meet for a preliminary planning meeting that morning in your car when the door to the passenger seat swings open without warning.
You barely manage to restrain a screech and then you recognise the poorly ironed business slacks and wrinkled cotton button-down of your assistant. You’ve scolded him on numerous occasions for his poor attire at work, but he really does try his best. And after he’d set his apartment on fire trying to iron his business clothes and had to crash on Seokjin’s couch for a week, you’d finally just had to accept that this is how Jungkook dresses. Still, while you can forgive the poor attire, you don’t think you can forgive his startling intrusion into your morning dilemma.
“What are you doing here?” You gasp, with a hand clasped over your chest. Oddly enough, he’s grinning, despite his scruffy appearance. At least it seems that he tried to comb his hair this morning. Still, all the hair gel and grooming products in the world could not tame the wild mop that is Jeon Jungkook’s hair. You recognise and acknowledge his efforts, at least.
“I can’t wish my favourite boss a good morning?” He asks, oddly coy and playful, and you wince. Then his expression sobers. “You’re avoiding me, aren’t you?”
“Well, I’m not exactly seeking you out, but avoiding is a bit of a strong word.” You retort with a slight cringe. “I prefer the term “procrastinating the inevitable confrontation we must have.””
Jungkook stares at you for a long, hard moment. Then his expression changes into a sort of smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, but you suppose is meant to be joking and amused.
“What confrontation?” He questions. “Are you going to lecture me on how to comb my hair again? Because I did. Comb my hair I mean. But that’s beside the point, because I’m here to-”
“Jungkook. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re sick. Stop… stop acting like nothing’s wrong.” You interrupt, unwilling to let him beat around the bush.
“It’s a treatable illness.” He points out with a shrug. “But that’s not why I’m here. I wanted to know if you’ll still plan Minah’s wedding for her. It’s really important to her- she saw that one video of that wedding we did back when we were just starting out, and it’s been a dream of hers since then for you to plan it-”
“How is that your top priority right now when you’re literally dying?” You snap, and you clamber out of the car. Your heels click noisily against the smooth concrete of the carpark as you attempt to scurry away from him. He’s quick to follow you though, his scuffed dress shoes squeaking against the ground and signalling his noisy pursuit.
“Please!” He begs. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but it’s really important to her-“
“I don’t care about her, Jungkook.” You almost snarl, as you whirl to face him. He narrowly avoids crashing into your back and stares at you in bewilderment. “I haven’t even met her face to face. I care about you. You’re my friend, despite all your attempts to pretend we aren’t. I owe all my success to the fact that you encouraged me when I was at the lowest point in my life. This business only exists because of your help. And I’m not going to spit on that by planning a wedding that will destroy you. So sorry, but no. I’m not going to plan her wedding.”
You plan to walk off then because you hear the familiar ding indicating that the elevator has arrived, but you pause.
“Don’t come into work today.” You warn. “As of today, you’re using all the sick leave, annual leave, whatever leave there is to take until her wedding is over. And then, once you’ve gotten treatment and are fit to work, you can come back. I know a good doctor, if you need one. But I can’t allow you, in good conscience, to keep working here when your health is so poor. There…” You hesitate. But then you draw a deep breath with finality in your tone. “There will always be a place for you here once you’re recovered. In fact, I hope to see you back here when you’re fully recovered.” You say. The silence rings following your firm farewell. You’re running late for your morning meeting anyway.
A hand wraps around your wrist, pausing your retreat.
“Please don’t do this.” Jungkook protests in a serious tone- it contrasts deeply with the earlier playfulness he had attempted to use to lighten the mood. You glare back with a cold authority that you hope reminds him of the fact that even though he helped you start this business, it is yours, and you are his boss.
“I’m sorry.” You say firmly. “I’m not planning this wedding. Go home and get some rest, Jungkook.”
The elevator doors slide shut and the last thing you see before they do are his eyes, wide and pleading.