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It’s one in the morning, and Panda is unable to sleep.
It’s one in the morning and Panda is awake, in bed, with Charlie’s arms wrapped securely around him as they face each other. Panda sleeps on a twin mattress, making it hard for two adult men to sleep comfortably on it without utilizing every square inch of space on the bed. This, obviously, meant cuddling, which Panda minded very little. He felt safe in Charlie’s arms, he felt safe in Charlie’s presence. He felt safe in Charlie’s world; knowing Charlie existed at the same time as him made Panda feel like nothing bad could ever happen again, not with Charlie by his side. Charlie’s entire everything was a safe haven to Panda, in or out of his arms.
He snuggles deeper into Charlie, blissfully sighing into Charlie’s fuzzy chest. Charlie’s arms instinctively tighten around Panda’s back, and Pandas heart thumps. He was too tired to sleep.
Sleeping meant waking up, and waking up meant liberation from the paradise. He only wished Charlie was awake right now to enjoy it with him, but Charlie seemed so peaceful in his sleep that just knowing Charlie was happy in his current state was enough for Panda. If they were married, then perhaps he’d wake him.
Panda gives a quick kiss to Charlie’s chest. Charlie giggles. Panda, afraid he’s woken Charlie up, nervously peeked up at the sleeping man and noticed his eyes remained shut, but he had a faint smile on his face that was only visible under the gentle light of the moon seeping through the window. Panda chuckles, wrapping his own furry arms around Charlie’s back. It’s comfortable, and Panda would have it no other way.
Panda is comfortably in love with Charlie. There is nothing painful about it. Panda had convinced himself that heartache was a normal part of love, and that it’s normal to ache for someone’s affections, but that was foreign with Charlie. Charlie wore his heart on his sleeve, loving Panda heaps and heaps more than Panda ever felt he deserved to be loved.
They may as well be sharing one pillow now. Panda’s head has since left his own pillow and is now resting comfortably on Charlie’s. It’s the first in a mental list of things Panda wants to share with Charlie, starting small-- a pillow, to big-- his life.
They’re puzzle pieces, literally and figuratively. Panda notes how perfectly he fits in Charlie’s embrace, how his paw fits perfectly in Charlie’s hand, and how, when he’s feeling particularly bold, how well he fits on Charlie’s lap. Figuratively, in the sense that they compliment each other so well it’s become odd to experience one without the other. Panda keeps Charlie grounded, keeping his bubbly self from floating away, while Charlie keeps Panda above ground. It’s a gentle, soft balance, and, again, they would have it no other way.
Panda falls asleep that night, comforted by the knowledge that this night is the first of many.