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The Daily Bugle @TheDailyBugle
Shocking video reveals Spider-Man’s true identity and twisted values?? Watch here!
https://vvwjsoiijwnwnnwnjhgvvcc.com
SPIDEY IS BABEY @spideystan
replying to @TheDailyBugle
is it crack?? Is that what you smoke? You smoke crack??
Laura @laura33ye
replying to @TheDailyBugle
IM HOWLING
Avengers #1 Fan Account @avengeme
replying to @TheDailyBugle
... y’all hear sumn?
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MJ @mjinthehouse
glad to know we’re all on the same page with the Daily Bugle’s bullshit
PP @peterparkerstanaccount
replying to @mjinthehouse
THE QUEEN HAS SPOKEN
Emily @emmmmmmmily
replying to @mjinthehouse
ok Peter’s Spider-Man,,, whatever old news,,,,, BUT ARE YALL DATING OR NOT I—
Brie @ihaveabrainyee
replying to @mjinthehouse and @emmmmmmmily
I AGREE WE NEED TO KNOW
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Nedrick @guyinthechair
hey @TheDailyBugle i have some pictures of Peter looking like a kicked puppy if you need anymore to add to ur extremely accurate case
Sarah @sarararararar
replying to @guyinthechair
LETS SEE THE PICTURES, NED
Flash @fastestkidaround
replying to @guyinthechair and @TheDailyBugle
i have a video of parker pushing on a pull door for like,, a solid 20 seconds
Betty Brant @bettyboophehe
replying to @guyinthechair and @fastestkidaround
don’t forget about the picture in the yearbook of him spilling chocolate milk all over himself
Flash @fastestkidaround
replying to @bettyboophehe
shit u right
PP @peterparkerstanaccount
replying to @guyinthechair and @bettyboophehe
SPIDEY STANS HOW ARE WE FEELING
yes he’s my son @peterismyson
replying to @peterparkerstanaccount
THIS IS SO MUCH NEW INFORMATION I——-
Katie @katiehooligan
replying to @guyinthechair
the daily bugle: peter parker is a menace
flash, betty, and ned: he is babey
Ronnie @veronicaaaaah
replying to @katiehooligan
the daily bugle: abort him.
Dalia @yeshunnyidideatthekids
replying to @veronicaaaaah
DID YOU JUST—
Cody @codesfordays
replying to @veronicaaaaah
holy shit 🤭
MJ @mjinthehouse
replying to @veronicaaaaah
they would
Tyrone @mooseears
replying to @mjinthehouse and @veronicaaaaah
SHE REPLIED TO YOU OMG
teags @tjbrown
replying to @mjinthehouse
I LOVE YOU
Ronnie @veronicaaaaah
replying to @mjinthehouse
ok y’all mj replied to my tweet i can die happy now
Angie @angieberlin
replying to @mjinthehouse and @veronicaaaaah
i would let mj raw me send tweet
shay @shaygirlshay
replying to @angieberlin
OOP—
teags @tjbrown
replying to @angieberlin
WHAT THe FUCK ASKJFHSVSVSHS
Nedrick @guyinthechair
replying to @angieberlin
that’s enough internet for today o_o
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CNN @CNN
Peter Parker’s “Fanbase” is Growing at an Incredible Rate: https://the.storyofpeterparker/cnn/news.com
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @CNN
If I have to hear one more word about Peter Parker I’m gonna throw up in my mouth
Sarah @sarararararawr
replying to @potatogun
u don’t like him??? 🥺
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @sarararararawr
he is uglie 🤮
Stan @stanstan
replying to @potatogun
you’re ugly 🤮. He’s going through rough times, leave him the hell alone, fucking high school dropout
Sasha @girluhuhuhuh
replying to @potatogun
ok shut up??? no one asked for ur opinion
skai @cloudywachance
replying to @potatogun
idk if you were joking or not but prepare to get slaughtered by a bunch of teenage girls.... yikes
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @potatogun and @cloudywachance
i have 70+ notifications.... rip me
Nedrick @guyinthechair
replying to @potatogun
HARLEY AJSJSJSJSJ
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @guyinthechair
@TonyStark pls protect me from peter’s scary fangirls 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Tony Stark @TonyStark
replying to @potatogun
You brought this upon yourself, kid. Besides, this is incredibly amusing.
Stan @stanstan
replying to @potatogun and @TonyStark
.........whoops
Freddy @evilmanonhalloween
replying to @potatogun and @stanstan
all of y’all who just attacked harley for “disrespecting ur fav” : 🤡🤡
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @evilmanonhalloween
it’s okay peter disrespects me all the time so now we’re even
Emma B @emmabrown
replying to @potatogun
nobody:
harley: man FUCK peter parker amirite
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Stark Industries @StarkIndustries
Stark Industries will not comment on Peter Parker’s whereabouts, history, or involvement with the company until a press conference is scheduled with further notice.
Steve @americasass
replying to @StarkIndustries
is he okay
Pepper Potts @PepperPotts
replying to @americasass
He’s okay.
Steve @americasass
replying to @PepperPotts
thank god for the tweeter
Tony Stark @TonyStark
replying to @americasass
Who let Cap have twitter?
Sam Wilson @falcon
replying to @TonyStark
he wanted to make sure spiderbaby was okay
Bucky @buckybarnes
replying to @americasass
Peter is not a menace to society, you are
Caroline @carolinebutton
replying to @americasass and @buckybarnes
peter parker being Spider-Man??? his friends interacting with fans??? captain america having a twitter under “America’s ASS”??? The AVENGERS TALKINF ON TWITTER?? is it just me or is the internet breaking
Stan @stanstan
replying to @carolinebutton
the simulation is glitching
Steve @americasass
replying to @carolinebutton
Sam is captain America now
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Harley Keener @potatogun
“Spiderbaby” spills chocolate milk on himself and pushes on pull doors. You heard it here first, folks
peter @peterparkour
replying to @potatogun
ive been off the internet for 6 days and this is my legacy??? spider baby??? how dare you, keener
Nedrick @guyinthechair
replying to @peterparkour
he also called you “uglie”
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @guyinthechair
no trust
yes he is my son @peterismyson
replying to @peterparkour
HOLY SHIT HE LIVES
Sarah @sarararararawr
replying to @peterparkour
I LOVE YOU OMG
Liv @ilivonlife
replying to @peterparkour
OH MY GOD!!! IM OBSESSED WITH YOU
Flash @fastestkidaround
replying to @sararararawr and @ilivonlife
back off ladies i saw him first
peter @peterparkour
replying to @guyinthechair and @potatogun
guys,,, what. the heck is going on
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @peterparkour
congrats ur twitter’s white boy of the month
Nedrick @theguyinthechair
replying to @potatogun
you mean tweeter
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Karen @momoftheweek
Anyone who blindly follows Peter Parker without questioning his innocence is a blind idiot. Mysterio didn’t have access to the KILLER drones, they were STARK technology. Quentin Beck had his whole life ahead of him. A smart, selfless man killed by immature teenage recklessness.
Sharon @PTAmotherandproud
replying to @momoftheweek
Regardless of how Mysterio was truly killed, we only have this CHILD protecting us now. Me, my husband, and our two beautiful children live in New York and now the only superhero left is a teenager? Ridiculous! I don’t feel safe!
Heather @biscuitsandmyhubby
replying to @momoftheweek and @PTAmotherandproud
Tony Stark was constantly putting civilians in danger, and now his little punk of an offspring is doing the same. I don’t care if Peter Parker is a child; if he’s old enough to kill thousands of Europeans, he’s old enough to go to jail! #justiceforMysterio
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @momoftheweek
the PTA moms are at it again 😔 goddamn it Karen, Sharon, and Heather,,, if you don’t want Spider-Man protecting ur family he can skip over y’all’s houses if u want
Olivia @liviepooh
replying to @potatogun
OK HARLEY GO OFF
Damien @graygirlgray
replying to @potatogun
the hero we didn’t know we needed
PP @peterparkerstanaccount
replying to @potatogun
harley: peter sucks
karen, sharon, and heather: yeah peter sucks
harley: the fuck did you just say 😡
MJ @mjinthehouse
replying to @potatogun and @biscuitsandmyhubby
just to add onto what Harley said,,, you realize “thousands of people” in europe didn’t die, right, Heather? or do you just believe everything you see on the internet? Could that perhaps be why you still believe Peter is responsible for the drone strike rather than Mysterio? Hmmm.
Katie @katiehahitsme
replying to @mjinthehouse
i think im in love with you
Betty Brant @bettyboophehe
replying to @mjinthehouse
tell em, girl 🙌
Spidey is innocent @spideyisinnocent
replying to @mjinthehouse and @bettyboophehe
mj and betty for co-presidents 2024
Nedrick @guyinthechair
replying to @spideyisinnocent
hell yeah 🙌😍
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peter @peterparkour
mr stark just yelled at me for having twitter 🥺
MJ @mjinthehouse
replying to @peterparkour
haha loser
PP @peterparkerstanaccount
replying to @peterparkour and @mjinthehouse
POWER COUPLE
peter Parker is babey @babeybabey
replying to @peterparkerstanaccount
first canon interaction
Tony Stark @TonyStark
replying to @peterparkour
You deserved it. I’m so wise, I’m surprised to so rarely listen to me.
peter @peterparkour
replying to @TonyStark
this is how our conversation just went:
me: we’re in the same room, why are you @ing me
mr stark: I need to maintain my public image, yknow, give Pepper some PR work
me: I’m gonna expose u for saying that
Tony Stark @TonyStark
replying to @peterparkour
Betrayed by my own underoos! But Mrs. Potts won’t even dignify that with a response.
Pepper Potts @PepperPotts
replying to @TonyStark
You’d be surprised.
Evan @evananderson
replying to @TonyStark and @PepperPotts
WHAT IS GOING ON??? IM LOVIN IT
PP @peterparkerstanaccount
replying to @evananderson
Peter and Tony are in the same room??? Peter and tony are in the same room??? Are they staying together??!?!?!?! What!!!!
Spider-Man fan @spideyfan101
replying to @peterparkerstanaccount
this has some serious father-son energy
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @spideyfan101
in this house we call it “irondad”
Harley Keener @potatogun
replying to @potatogun
PETER PARKER IS TONY STARK’s BIOLOGICAL SON?? WHAT DOES THIS MEA
peter @peterparkour
replying to @potatogun
he couldn’t finish because pepper killed him
abbey @abbeycherryblossom
replying to @potatogun and @peterparkour
how could you not stan this family
Jamie @everyonestalkingboutme
replying to @potatogun
wait ur just kidding, right? right????
Ashley @ashashash
replying to @everyonestalkingboutme
👀👀👀 shit u might be onto something
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