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Giles swirled the golden liquid around in the glass and listened to the faint clink as the melting ice cubes hit the side. Another night spent alone in his apartment hoping that Buffy would show up needing his help or advice. Bloody useless, he thought angrily. He tossed back his drink and made his way to the liquor cabinet for another refill. He knew the scotch was a bad idea, but he was too fed up at the moment to care.
It had been almost a week since Ethan had turned him into a demon and Buffy had nearly killed him by mistake. The shock he'd felt when Buffy had belatedly recognized him in the demon had done much to buoy his spirits. And her explanation that she had known it was he by his eyes had sent a warm jolt to his middle that not even her joking addition that "he was the only person who could look that annoyed with her" could undo. At the time he'd hopefully thought that things were looking up between the two of them. That they'd finally have the chance to return to the partnership they had enjoyed while he was still her official Watcher.
But the return to their old relationship hadn't happened. If anything, Giles had seen even less of Buffy this past week than he had since college had started. Willow and Xander had both been by his apartment several times to check up on him. Xander's usual excuse was that he was in the neighborhood and just thought he'd stop in for a visit. Willow's frequent requests for advice on her schoolwork had made Giles smile. They cared and wanted him to know that he was important to them and that they were worried about him. And he was glad for that. But the person he most needed to see, the one whom he needed to know that he mattered to had not been round to see him. Not once since that night.
Probably too busy having fun with her latest Nancy-ninja muscle-bound boyfriend to worry over her ex-Watcher, he thought resentfully as he took a long pull on his drink. Crisis over, she'd put him safely on the back shelf until she needed him for something that her new friends couldn't provide. Then she'd come running and Giles knew he'd be pathetically grateful for her attention.
He stood and paced around the room. Why did he stay, he wondered? And yet, how could he leave? He drained his drink and in a fit of pique threw the empty glass and watched it shatter against the cold hearth. Giles was suddenly unable to stand the thought of remaining in his empty apartment another moment. He grabbed his leather jacket, shoved a couple of stakes in his pockets and headed out the front door.
He had no idea where he was going until he found himself standing in the middle of one of the small playgrounds that dotted the neighborhoods of Sunnydale. He recognized it as one of the places he and Buffy would periodically check out when they used to patrol together. No one was there and nothing moved expect the slight ruffling of the leaves of the trees by the wind. He remembered staking some vampires here with Buffy one night a year or so ago. This was ridiculous, he thought. Now he was getting nostalgic about past slaying.
Giles sighed and pushed half-heartedly at one of the empty swings. He was so engrossed in his morose thoughts that he was unaware of the demon that came up behind him until it growled and took a swing at his back. He tumbled to the ground, grunting in pain. His reflexes kicked in and he rolled out of the way of the demon foot aimed at his head. It was a right cock-up he'd gotten himself into, he thought angrily.
"Dammit! I was just starting a good sulk." He pushed himself to his feet and then tried his best to dodge the demon's charge. He didn't quite manage to get out of the way and was sent flying to land hard against the metal pipe frame of the swings. He heard a familiar yell and the last thing he saw before he blacked out was the sight of Buffy smashing into the demon from behind.
"Come on Giles! Wake up, damn you!"
His eyelids felt like they had lead weights taped to them and there was a nasty metallic taste at the back of his throat. His head throbbed and he groaned at the pain.
"That's it, wake up. Come on. I need your help. I don't know if there are any more of those demons out here and I can't carry you all the way to the hospital. Please wake up."
Buffy. And she sounded a bit desperate. He really needed to help her. What was it she wanted? Oh yes. She wanted him to wake up. He made a heroic effort and forced his eyes open a crack to see Buffy leaning over him with an anxious expression on her face.
"Giles! Thank god!" She cried in relief.
"Buffy," he croaked. He tried to raise his head and nearly passed out again. The world tilted crazily.
"God, Giles. What are you doing out here by yourself?" The question may have been accusing, but her tone of voice was anxious.
"Walking." He was unable to manage more than one word and he wasn't about to get into an argument with her about his nocturnal habits at any rate.
"Walking?" she asked, disbelief rampant in her voice. "Well, we're going to walk you right over to the Emergency Room. I thought you were never going to wake up."
"No hospital."
"Listen mister. You're in no shape to argue about this. Let's get you up and get going." She scanned the shadows. "I managed to drive that demon off, but he could still be lurking out there somewhere, possibly with some buddies. I'd really rather not have to deal with you and them at the same time."
Buffy put her arm around his shoulder and helped lever him up. He climbed shakily to his feet and swayed unsteadily. She put her arm around his waist and held him tightly against her side. She pulled his arm over her shoulders, allowing him to lean his weight on her small frame.
"Come on," she said encouragingly. "That's it. One foot in front of the other. Here we go."
They managed this way for several blocks until a wave of nausea rolled over Giles that drove them both to their knees. He rolled his eyes at Buffy in misery and she helped him to the curb so that he could vomit in the gutter. He closed his eyes and remained still, praying for the pain and weakness to pass. Once he was back on his feet she pulled the kerchief from her hair and gently reached up to wipe his mouth. She balled the soiled cloth up and shoved it in her jean's pocket.
"OK?" she asked softly.
"No, but let's get out of here." Could he feel any more wretched, he wondered?
"Ooh, an entire sentence. You must be feeling better." She smiled up at him and took his weight against her once again. "Come on. Let's get you fixed up."
This time they made it all the way to the Emergency Room without further mishap. A nurse recognized them from previous visits and clucked over their disheveled appearance, muttering something under her breath about the frequency of muggings in Sunnydale. She whisked them into a private examining room and told them a doctor would be with them shortly.
Giles made use of the small sink in the room to rinse the foul taste from his mouth and to splash some cold water on his face. The room started whirling when he straightened up too quickly, but Buffy heard his groan and helped him sit down on the examining table. She pulled the soiled kerchief from her pocket and discarded it in the trash can.
"Giles, what were you doing in that playground?" she asked quietly. Her eyes searched his face while she waited for him to answer.
Fortunately he was saved from having to reply by the arrival of the doctor.
"Mr. Giles. Haven't seen you in here recently." The doctor examined Giles' eyes and the bruises on his face, then moved his hands the back of Giles' head. "That's quite a bump. Did you lose consciousness this time?"
Giles hesitated just long enough for Buffy to jump in. "Yes, he did, doctor. For almost a minute. Longest minute of my life I can tell you."
Giles stared at her. What on earth was she talking about?
The doctor smiled. "I know it can seem like a very long time. But if he was out for less than a minute, then that wasn't very long." He turned to Giles. "Still, with your history of concussions it would be wise if you stayed overnight for observation."
"I think he should, too." She turned to Giles. "You should do what the doctor says."
"Thank you, doctor, but I'd really prefer to go home." Giles glared at Buffy who smiled innocently at him in return.
"Well, I can't force you to stay of course. But I strongly recommend that if you go home that you have someone check on you every hour for the next 24 hours. If everything seems normal then you probably have nothing to worry about. Do you have someone who can do that for you?" The doctor raised his eyebrows and looked at Buffy.
"I will," she replied promptly. She turned to Giles and said seriously, "And no arguments from you."
"Of course not," he said meekly. He was slightly ashamed at feeling gratified that she would insist on staying with him.
"He threw up on our way here," she told the doctor. "Is there anything he can take?"
The doctor nodded and opened a drawer. He pulled out a pill packet and handed it to Buffy. "Here's a sample. If he's still nauseous tomorrow then I want to see him immediately. More than likely, though, the nausea will pass quickly."
"Thanks." Buffy grinned at Giles. She dangled the packet at him. "Be nice to me or I won't give you this."
"You'll give it to me if you don't want me to throw up all over you," he replied dryly.
"Oh, good point." She ripped open one of the packets and removed a tiny pill. She filled a small paper cup with water and silently handed the pill and the cup to Giles. She looked at the doctor. "Anything else we need to do? Or can we go home?"
He grinned at her and shook his head. "Nope. You're free to go. Just be sure to get back here if he has any problems. OK?"
"You got it." Buffy smiled and offered Giles her arm.
They made it to the exit with Giles walking mostly under his own steam. Once outside he sagged against her.
"Hey, you," she said softly. "You convinced me that you could make it home. Are we going to have to go back inside?"
"No." Giles gathered his strength and stood straighter, taking more of his own weight.
The closer they came to his apartment, though, the more heavily he leaned against her until finally they staggered through the front door together. They stood in the foyer to allow Giles to catch his breath. Buffy propped him against the wall and closed the front door.
"You gonna be OK here for a minute?" she asked.
He nodded slowly.
"'Kay. I'll get your bed ready and then come back down here to get you. Hold on." She turned and trotted up the stairs.
Giles could hear her moving around upstairs and wondered what she was doing. He didn't have long to wait. She returned and pulled him away from the wall. They slowly made their way up the stairs to his bedroom. She sat him on the bed and stepped back, a severe look on her face.
"You need to lie down and rest. I found a pair of pajamas in your nightstand. Can you get undressed by yourself, or do you want me to help you?"
"I'll be fine and I'd rather do it myself, if you don't mind." Giles tried to sound strong and convincing.
Buffy shook her head, an exasperated expression on her face. "Sure. You'll be fine. OK." She knelt down and started to untie his shoes. "You'll never make it if you have to bend down and take these off. There." She stood up and gave him a long searching look.
"Thank you." He wasn't sure what else he was supposed to say. He certainly wasn't going to start explaining why he'd been in that twice damned playground, if that's what she was waiting for. To his infinite relief she nodded shortly and turned on her heel to head for the stairs.
"I'll be back to wake you in an hour," she called softly over her shoulder. "Get some sleep."
He listened to her light footsteps as she descended the stairs. Well, he'd wanted her attention, he thought ruefully. And now that he had it he wished he didn't. Not like this. Never satisfied, are you mate? Can't just accept what little she's willing to give you. Oh no, not you. You have to have more. He sighed heavily and unbuttoned his shirt. The struggle to get out of his clothes and into the pajamas left him exhausted. He lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes. Within seconds he'd drifted off to sleep.
Buffy sat quietly on the couch staring off into space, waiting until she was sure that he had to be asleep. She crept up the stairs and stopped the head of the stairway, staring at the still figure on the bed. She stood there for a long moment watching him sleep.
Downstairs once more she finally looked around the familiar room. Noticing that the liquor cabinet was open she walked over to it. She frowned at the open half- empty bottle of scotch. At least it was a small bottle, she thought, and not one of those big ones. If he'd opened the bottle tonight for the first time he could only have had two, maybe three drinks, she thought. She picked it up and shoved the cork end of the cap into the neck. As she turned the bottle she caught sight of the pricetag and winced. Giles certainly had expensive taste. Her eyes were drawn to the top of the stairs as if by a magnet. She shook her head and turned away.
Her gaze wandered over the rest of the room and she saw something glittering in the empty fireplace. Curious, Buffy stepped forward and sighed when she saw the broken glass. She fetched a small whisk broom and dustpan and carefully swept up the glass shards, dumping them in the trash under the kitchen sink. She leaned against the counter. What had gone on here tonight?
An hour later she climbed the stairs to his bedroom, carefully balancing a tray full of tea and toast. She hadn't been able to find the remains of a dinner and thought he might welcome something to eat. Of course, after his demonstration in the street earlier even if he was hungry she didn't know if he'd want anything more than dry toast. She placed the tray on the small end table and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Buffy reached out her hand and lightly shook his shoulder. "Hey Giles. It's your hourly wake up call. Come on, Watcher. Wakey-wakey."
"mmmph," he grumbled without opening his eyes.
"Uh-uh. You have to wake up. The doctor said every hour. Otherwise I call the gang and we take you back to the hospital." She hoped the threat would work where her soft words hadn't.
"I'm awake," he said crossly and opened his eyes.
She smiled and was happy to see him smile slightly in return. "Thought that'd do the trick. I've got tea and some toast, in case you're hungry."
He looked surprised. "Thank you. Tea would be most welcome. I'm not sure I want anything to eat just now."
She nodded agreeably and helped him sit up, adding a second pillow behind him. "So. Are you going to tell me what you thought you were doing out there? And don't give me walking." She kept her voice light.
Giles flushed guiltily and stared down into his tea. "I was out walking. I didn't really have a destination in mind. I was just tired of being cooped up inside."
Buffy stared at him, her thoughts churning. She heard the things he'd left unsaid and the emotions behind them and knew that he'd retreat further if she tried to force him to talk. She wasn't up for an all-out battle to get him to acknowledge what was wrong and, to be honest, she wasn't ready to bring things out in the open either. Not yet. A lot of it was her fault she knew, but at least there were things she could do to ease the tension that had grown between them.
"All right, have it your way," she said easily. She hid a smile when he raised his gaze to her in surprise. "I won't lecture you. I'm sure you of all people know that you need to be more careful. I'll just let you get some more rest now." She left him watching her with a puzzled expression on his face. Chew on that for a while, she thought smugly.
Giles relaxed back against the pillows and sipped his tea. He didn't understand why Buffy hadn't taken him to task. Why hadn't she pursued it until she'd forced him to admit why he'd been out on that playground? Of course that would merely lead to yet another argument between them and he admitted to himself that he was relieved that she hadn't pushed him. He finished his tea and put the cup down with a sigh. Drowsy again, he closed his eyes and slipped into a dreamless sleep.
It seemed only moments later that Buffy was shaking him awake with more tea and no questions. The same pattern repeated for the next five hours, until he finally woke up more alert, hungry, and needing to go to the bathroom.
"I'll help you get there, but you're on your own once you're inside." Buffy grinned.
"I should bloody well hope so," he muttered with asperity and closed the bathroom door in her face. He could hear her laughter fading as she walked away.
Several minutes later he opened the door. He was surprised when she immediately appeared to help him. He was still a bit woozy, but felt much stronger than he had. He let her help him to the couch and was surprised when she sat down right next to him.
"So, how are you feeling?" she asked with a smile.
"Much better, thank you," he said hesitantly. "Are you all right?"
"Why do you ask?"
"It just seems that you're being uncharacteristically concerned. Not that I don't appreciate it, mind you. I'm just waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop." He cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.
"What? I can't be concerned about you without an ulterior motive?" Buffy asked innocently.
"Buffy."
"All right. I guess I'm just trying to make up for neglecting you. I know I haven't been around much."
Realizing that anything he said would most likely be construed the wrong way, Giles sat silently and waited for her to continue.
"Look, you're the one who told me that I needed to take care of myself. And I know you wanted to have a private life and, well, I got the hint you meant that that didn't include me. Which is OK. Really. You have the right to your privacy. I know you think I've needed to grow up. I thought it might be easier to do that if I wasn't around so much." She looked down.
Giles sighed and covered her clasped hands with his own. "Buffy. I didn't mean that I wanted you to stay away. And you have a private life, don't you? I've never been privy to everything that goes on in your life. I wanted you to understand that as another adult that I also have a private life that may or may not include you. But I'm not trying to exclude you by any means." He found himself gazing into that clear blue gaze of hers.
"Really, I understand. I do," she said. "And I wanted to make sure that you had all the space you need. But I've missed you."
He smiled wryly. "Oh, I've had plenty of space. Too much, in fact. And I've missed you as well." There was so much more that needed to be said, but he felt instinctively that this wasn't the right time. They were starting to clear the air and he didn't want to destroy the tentative rapport between them.
"Then, can we agree that we've both made a mistake and move on?" she asked lightly.
"I think that that would be a very adult thing to do." He grinned.
"Cool. An adult moment with my Watcher." Her eyes widened and she hurried on to add, "But in a good adult way, not in a bad adult way, which would be...bad. And can we just forget I said that?" She blushed lightly.
"Agreed," he said dryly.
"Thanks. And just think, you get the pleasure of my company for the next 18 hours," she said brightly.
"Can we go back to that 'I wanted to make sure you had all the space you needed statement'?" he teased.
"Hey!" she said in mock indignation.
"I'm glad you're here Buffy," he said seriously. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
Buffy grinned. "Me neither."
Giles smiled. He felt lighter of heart than he had in several weeks. Life was definitely looking up.