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“This is taking entirely too fucking long!” Lucifer aggressively tossed crumbs to the ducks in St. James’s Park one early Tuesday morning. The ducks approached the crumbs on the water with caution.
In a blink and you miss it moment, another appeared beside him at the pond. “They’re just taking their time. It’s all part of the plan.” She snapped her own bag of food for the eager ducks into existence.
He rolled his eyes. “They have had six thousand years. What the Hell are they waiting for? Hell to freeze over? Because at this rate IT MIGHT HAPPEN!”* He tossed the rest of the crumbs into the pond and walked to the bench across the way. He unbuttoned his blazer before sitting, brushing off invisible dust.
She followed, her white gown flowing in the light breeze, and took a seat next to him. They didn’t do this often. Usually, they went through the back channels that neither Gabriel or Beelzebub thought existed.** But in the case of a certain angel and demon, some exceptions were made now and again. “You’ll give yourself an aneurysm if you keep that up. Besides your scaring the ducks.”
“Oh, for Go- Always with the witty retort with you, isn’t it? Look, I have a lot riding on them getting together. So do you.” Lucifer grinned. They had wagered souls long enough. As the modern age developed, they started wagering for things like composers and musicals. Currently ‘Hamilton’ and ‘Love Never Dies’*** were on the table. Well, not the musicals per se, but the lyricists and composers souls were.****
“You’re just mad I got ‘The Sound of Music’ and can’t admit it. Then again, you never could admit you were wrong.” The Almighty paused as She realized even She had gone too far with that comment. “I’m sorry, that was wrong.”
Lucifer smirked. “Only took you how long to admit that?” He waved his hand then pressed on. “I did get ‘West Side Story’ out of that wager so I can’t complain. Much.” But he would. It was what he did.
“We both want them together don’t we?”
“I do. They’re perfect for one another. Put them together and you have a whole idiot.”
That was fair. After all, it had taken them 6,000 years to get to this point. It took some less than a second to hop into bed with one another. “I wouldn’t be that cruel, Luci.” She used the nickname because She knew he hated it, but She also knew he would let it slide. The Almighty would always have a soft spot for all her children, even the fallen ones.
He knew she wouldn’t be. She had never been one to be cruel, Old Testament aside. She had made good on the rain-bow after all. Forgetful yes, but never cruel. Hell, She’d even given him dominion over his own space hadn’t She? Sure, it wreaked of sulfur and the screaming could be deafening, but it wasn’t bad…once you got used to it. “Well, if we both want the same thing, then what’s the wager?”
“’Love Never Dies’ comes off the table for a hundred years, if they get together in the next two weeks.”
“They are together. They just haven’t fucked.” He removed sunglasses from his pocket to shade his eyes from the rising sun.
“Must you?“ He was a demon, of course, he must use that language. “If they consummate their relationship AND say ‘I love you’ in a week.”
Lucifer considered this. It was a good deal. He loathed that musical. But he wanted more. “I see that and raise you this: IF they consummate and Crowley says that word first in two weeks, I get Fosse back.” He may have thought Crowley was an idiot, but he had complete confidence in the demon’s skills at temptation.
“Deal.” Without thinking further, She extended her hand to seal the deal. The Almighty too had every faith in one of her favorite children. But Lucifer didn’t need to know that now, did he? “Anything else then?” She asked, knowing full well he would say ‘No, what more could there possibly be?’.
Lucifer shook her hand and responded, “No, what more could there possibly be?” In reality, there was more he always wanted to say. That sometimes he missed Heaven. He always wanted to ask after Aquitas, the Virtue of Justice and much more. But what point would it serve? Both he and the Almighty had taken up their sides long ago and there was no going back now. “In two weeks or less.” He vanished before She could respond, as She knew he would.
The Almighty simply smiled and made a note to speak to Mr. Fosse about his relocation in the next two weeks. Verdon, for one, would be thrilled. But goodness She would be sad to lose 'Cabaret' and 'Sweet Charity’. She looked around as people entered the park for runs or walks and took in all She had made. It made her happy that her two “idiots” had helped to save it after all. It had been a labor of love and would be a shame to have to start again. The Almighty was about to depart when She sensed them walking toward the pond directly in front of Her. Of all the parks in all of London…
“Aziraphale, I was thinking.”
“Yes, my dear.”
“What…what if I were to cook for you… say in a fortnight?” Crowley said, a hint of nervousness in his voice.
“I should think that would be delightful.” Aziraphale beamed and took Crowley’s hand in his own.
“Right then, good.” He stopped then and leaned in to kiss the angel, long and slow.
From Her spot, not seven feet away The Almighty smiled and made plans to screen 'Cabaret' and 'Sweet Charity' every day for the next two weeks. She’d miss them, but for these two, it would be worth it.
*You never know.
**Some things were on a need to know basis.
***And neither of them wanted Love Never Dies.
****Wouldn’t Lin-Manuel Miranda be surprised…or would he? Or would he write a musical about it and win all the things? Yeah, he'd do that.