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Jeno isn’t quite sure when it all happened.
It’s a complete mystery to him when the switch is flipped in his head, when he begins seeing Huang Renjun through sparkling, rose-tinted glasses.
He has no recollection of whether Renjun’s eyelashes have always been that way, long and fluttering, as his eyes struggle to stay open during the last half an hour of their movie night weekends. Or if his laugh has always sounded so jubilant, like the soothing jingling of Christmas bells. If his eyes have always had that brilliant glimmer in them, as he gives Jeno all too familiar expressions of excitement while talking about a new conspiracy theory he’d found while surfing the internet at 3 in the morning. If it’s always been this comforting to feel Renjun leaning on his shoulder on the bus ride home, his chocolate hair tickling Jeno’s jaw between shared earbuds.
It’s curious, really, how far his brain has gone to construct this sort of image out of someone who was once nothing more than a roommate and friend.
So when Jeno gets out of bed that morning and peeks his head into Renjun’s room to see the boy still deep in slumber, he can’t help but let his eyes linger for just a few seconds longer.
Jeno thinks that Renjun looks younger this way, sunlight shining through the blinds and casting golden streaks on his face. His face is puffy from sleep, rosy lips parted and chest rhythmically rising and falling with each breath. He’d fallen asleep with his glasses still on, crooked on his nose, and cell phone left by his pillow. It’s an endearing sight to see, in Jeno’s opinion.
He steps into the room cautiously to not wake Renjun. Carefully taking off the sleeping boy’s glasses and placing them onto the nightstand, he holds his breath when he hears Renjun mumble something in his sleep.
“Five….” Renjun lets out a long breath, eyes still shut. “Five more minutes….”
Jeno stifles a laugh and smiles fondly. “Alright, sleeping beauty,” he whispers back, gently pulling the blanket up to cover Renjun’s small frame.
✧
Having arrived home from his morning jog, Jeno decides to take a quick shower and is standing in front of the bathroom mirror drying his freshly washed hair with a towel when he hears a knock.
“Open up,” a voice calls, muffled on the other side of the bathroom door.
Jeno places the towel around his neck and opens the door, revealing a groggy Renjun. He’s rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, hair disheveled and still in his pajamas.
“Good morning,” Jeno chimes cheerfully. “I’m almost done, so you can take the sink.”
Renjun wordlessly brushes past Jeno to splash some water on his face. He grabs his toothbrush and groans in exhaustion. “I feel like hibernating for a whole decade,” he remarks crankily.
Jeno gives Renjun a pat on the back, shaking his head. “Aw, our precious Injunnie needs a nap,” he coos mockingly, earning him a solid smack on the arm from his grumpy roommate. “Ow! I’m still sore from working out!”
Renjun lets out a huff and resumes brushing his teeth. “I don’t know why I woke up this early on a weekend when I have nothing to do,” he grumbles before spitting into the sink and rinsing his mouth.
Amused by his petulant attitude, Jeno laughs. “You should run with me next time then,” he suggests. He eyes Renjun’s messy hair, resisting the urge to run his fingers through the chestnut locks and smooth down the pieces that are sticking up in all different directions.
“Nice try, Lee Jeno,” Renjun replies sarcastically, patting his face dry with a towel. “Try again in another lifetime.”
Jeno enjoys this friendly banter that they have, the back and forth teasing without too much bite. It makes his heart swell to be able to feel this comfortable with somebody, especially since that somebody happens to be Renjun. The same Renjun who waits for him to come home from evening classes so they can eat dinner together; who quietly enters Jeno’s room at ungodly hours of the morning with snacks to give him a break from studying. What country did he save in his past life to be deserving of such an angelic roommate?
“Hey, are you listening?” Jeno is pulled out of his thoughts by Renjun’s question. He blinks at the shorter boy’s somewhat concerned expression and clears his throat sheepishly.
“Sorry. Spaced out for a second.”
Renjun rolls his eyes and pokes his index finger to the taller boy’s forehead. “Nevermind, idiot,” he stops mid-poke to narrow his eyes, staring closely at Jeno’s face.
Feeling his cheeks heating up, Jeno’s eyes nervously dart at Renjun’s features, trying to read his ambiguous expression. His knitted eyebrows, focused eyes, and his smooth, fuschia lips. Jeno gulps. “Wh--what’s wrong?”
“Have you been picking at your lips again?”
Jeno brings a hand up to cover his mouth, embarrassed. He quickly licks his chapped lips. “Stop looking!”
Renjun sighs and reaches into the pocket of his navy blue pajama pants, pulling out a pink tube of lip balm. “This is the last time I’m letting you use mine,” he nags. “Get your own already.”
Jeno hesitates, but graciously takes the lip balm from Renjun’s hand and pops off the cap. Bringing the tube up to his lips, the fresh scent of peach wafts up his nose. He glides the lip balm onto his lips. Renjun to the rescue, as per usual.
Renjun takes back the pink tube, gliding it over his own lips before placing the cap back on and putting it into the pocket of his pajama pants. “Take care of yourself, will ya?” He pinches Jeno’s cheek lightly, giving him that kind smile that never fails to trigger the butterflies in his stomach, before exiting the bathroom to go back to his room.
Jeno is left staring at his own flushed face in the bathroom mirror. He presses his lips together, a bit of a sugary taste lingering on his tongue.
He wonders if kissing Renjun is this sweet.
✧
Late into the night, the two roommates are stationed at their respective seats on the living room couch, Renjun browsing through a myriad of movies and TV shows on Netflix. It’s his turn to decide what to watch, and Jeno – having chosen a particularly bad Noah Centineo movie last weekend – agrees that Renjun’s taste in movies would be better for the both of them.
“How about a Marvel movie?”
Jeno looks up from examining a flake of dead skin he’d picked off from his lips. (Gross, he knows.) “Haven’t we watched all of them already? Let’s do a horror movie.”
Renjun scowls at him in disbelief, eyes shooting daggers. “So I can have another week of sleepless nights?”
“It’s more fun when you have someone’s hand to hold,” Jeno teases. Only he’s not joking. But not like he’s admit it to Renjun. He reaches up and pretends to fix his hair in an attempt to hide his pink-tipped ears. His eyes find their way to Renjun’s hands, slender and petite with neatly trimmed nails.
“You’ve been watching too many of those teen romcoms.”
“It was one time!”
“Whatever, fuck it,” the smaller boy flops over in exasperation, laying his head on the other’s lap. “Let’s get it over with.”
Throughout the duration of the movie, Jeno isn’t sure if Renjun is able to make it to the ending credits, judging by the amount of times he’s flinched. Renjun sits upright, hugging his knees close to his chest with hands over his eyes, only peeking between his fingers. He’s shoulder to shoulder with Jeno, close enough to feel his warmth.
A part of Jeno feels guilty for putting his poor roommate through such a cruel experience, but he enjoys having the smaller boy snuggled up next to him more than he’d like to admit. His stomach does backflips when he feels a light grip on his forearm.
The peace doesn’t last for long; not after Jeno decides that it’s a fantastic idea to abruptly grab the frightened boy next to him and let out a loud cry during an especially suspenseful scene. Renjun shrieks in sheer horror at the sudden prank and tackles the taller boy mercilessly.
“You’re gonna pay for that, Lee Jeno!”
Jeno immediately regrets his decision as he’s pummeled by Renjun’s fists, which aren’t hitting hard enough to bruise, but just enough to feel his wrath. Laughing breathily, he grabs onto Renjun’s thin wrists and wrestles him back down onto the couch.
It’s then that he realizes how close their faces are. Jeno’s breath hitches in his throat when he locks eyes with the boy beneath him, both of their cheeks visibly flushed under the dim light. They stay this way for what feels like ages, until Jeno lets go of Renjun’s wrist. Tentatively, his hand moves to cup the other boy’s cheek, and Renjun’s eyes grow wider.
Jeno’s thoughts are racing at hundreds of miles per hour, too much for him to process all at once. So instead of thinking, he does what he’s been longing to do.
He leans in to close the gap between their lips and catches Renjun shutting his eyes tightly. Even in a moment like this, he never fails to melt his heart. Jeno licks his own lips, eyes falling to Renjun’s glossy ones, before capturing them in a tender kiss.
He pulls away after a few short seconds, already feeling breathless. Dread washes over him as his brain finally begins to register what he’s done.
“I--” Jeno stutters, unable to speak with Renjun staring up at him vulnerably, in a way that he’d never seen from him before. “I just needed some lip balm,” he deadpans.
To his astonishment, a smile blossoms across Renjun’s lips. “Here,” he brings a hand to the nape of Jeno’s neck. “Have some more.”
This time, Jeno is pulled into a kiss. He feels Renjun tilt his head and move his mouth against his. Jeno finds a familiar, saccharine taste in the midst of their kiss.
Kissing Huang Renjun was just as sweet as he’d imagined.