Chapter Text
The first punch was a strike of thunder in the hallway and Ellery was already ducking for cover. The second one came like lightning that flashed right out of her field of vision. She knew the rules for school fights well; Stop, drop, and roll into the closest classroom for cover. Somehow Ellery never quite made it past the drop part.
“I know what you’re trying, asshole!” The yell came from behind her back and the only thing she could do was clap her hands over her ears and roll herself into a ball. The person didn’t matter, nor did the problem. All the mattered was her, and the ground keeping her up.
She knew that the yells weren’t directed at her, there was nothing for her to fear, except there was everything to fear. Panic did messed-up things to Ellery’s mind. El knew panic was some messed up type of drug, and she often found herself being a lightweight. She scrunched her eyes tight and counted up until she could list all 50 states clearly in her head. Only then did the earth stopped spinning in frantic circles.
She took three painfully slow breaths and finally peeked out from the turtle shell she hid in - or at least that’s how she planned it out in her head. The hallway was clear as far as she could see, all sterile light colors and flickering lights. A tap on the back of her neck alerted her attention instantly.
A second tap of a lang fingernail told her that the hall monitor had found her panicking in the hall again. Now all that was left in Ellery’s chest was a cool feeling of dread.
“Honey, are you okay?”
Ellery nodded tightly. Even if her leg had just been torn off, even if she was being torn apart atom by atom. All El could do was nod.
“Are you sure? I can write you a pass to see the nurse.”
Panic wormed its way down her stomach that made her. Get away from me, she wanted to shout. She would wound up too much to get out a proper excuse. The meager, “I’m fine,” sounded tight and certainly not fine.
“Okay, sweetie. You better get to class then. ‘Don’t want you bein’ late.” The woman’s country accent sounded too elongated and obnoxious. The feeling of the woman’s nails against the back of her neck felt sharp and scathing. Every little bit of Ellery was cranked up to a 12 and there was nothing El could do but try to control the damage.
Ellery nodded again. This time with fire in her face and behind her face. Of all the time to cry, she scolded herself. Just hold it in a little longer. Ellery did all she could do to not look at the Hall monitor with her checkered nail extensions and wild makeup. She knew eye contact would be the thing to break her down for good.
The girl didn’t peak up again until the pitter-patter of Mrs. Dallary’s itty-bitty heels passed into the distance.
You’d think that a girl with as much running and hiding experience as Ellery Miller, you’d master the art of controlling your emotions in public. However, to the disappointment of almost everything who came into Ellery’s life, it wasn’t so simple. Emotions were irremovable to her. It was just something that came with the Ellery package, stamped there right on the warning label. The best she could do is hold her breath until the hot tears run down her face in the middle of her high school's hallway.
Ellery swiped at her face hard enough that she knew 5th period would worry over the red marks. She also knew the English teacher had inspirational cat posters on his wall, and that was promising enough to get Ellery up and going. She gave her skirt a cursory glance and wiped off the small bits of hallway rubble that had already attached itself to the fabric. That small bit of sympathy was enough of a push to get the girl up and wiping the hallway dust off her skirt.
Luckily the hallway was empty, so Ellery could complete her walk of shame in peace. Her fingers rubbed at her eyes as she walked and hummed a jingle from a toothpaste commercial she had heard that morning. By the time she slipped into her 5th-period class, her mind has mostly settled and calm like an ocean's big ripples becoming nothing but small occurrences without a notice.
Ellery’s 5th-period teacher, Mr. Mike, pressed his lips together in a thin smile. She raised a hand meekly in greeting and traveled to the back of the room where the corner desk opted as the perfect not obvious hiding spot. A cat wearing a bowtie waved at her in greeting in his poster home. The young girl could start to breathe again.
She put her bag on the desk in front of her with a soft clunk. Her hands searched it’s contents until her fingers felt the soft wooly material of a bag. She spilled the contents onto the desk in front of her in a clunky wave of different colors.
She flopped over her spiral notebook and started taking messy have-nots, without really hearing Mr. Mike rambling about something or other. Eventually, she got tired and started drawing things with wings until the bell rang at the end of class.
---
The School day was over before Ellery knew it, and the last chime of the bell that signaled the end of the day was a holy sound to the girl. She immediately scooped up her objects and halfheartedly tossed them into her bag. She high-tailed it out of the school like it was on fire. One thing Ellery was quite good at, was finding her way through crowded school highways.
Ellery’s foot was out the door and she was finally free! Except, a hand tapping speedily at her shoulder told her that there was still a school matter that demanded her attention.
She turned to face a girl with pressed-flat hair and the first thing that Ellery thought was, pretty. She had never seen that kind of hair color before. The kind that transitioned from brown to blonde like a stream, The girl was a little taller than her - most people in her class were - and Ellery had to take a step back. She raised her eyebrows in greeting.
“Ellery! Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” The girl said as she brushed a hand through her thick and well-managed hair. A scrunchie was wrapped around her wrist and it rolled down her arm a little. She had the oddest urge to reach up to the girl’s face and see if it felt as smooth as it looked. Ellery almost missed what the girl said next. “You don’t have any friends, do you?”
Ellery’s first instinctive thought was, What am I supposed to say to that? She went to murmur an ‘i know’ or a ‘yes, guilty,’ but she couldn’t get out a word before the girl cut in, “Well, I just feel so bad and you look so lonely all the time. I wanted to invite you to my house for a party tomorrow night.”
Oh, Ellery thought, Do we have the social capacity to do that today? She gave the girl a long stare as if expecting her to turn down her offer or start laughing. Where was the camera and where was the live studio audience? She twiddled her thumbs very carefully, “As fun as that sou-”
“Great! So you’re coming. I’ll let everyone know,” she paused to asses Ellery’s expression. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine,” she squeezed her arm tight in a show of support that left the girl reeling.
“I’ll send you the information. Wait. I just realized I don’t have your number!” Like a train heading in a different direction, the girl pulled a permanent marker out of her bag and shoved it into Ellery’s hand. Without missing a beat, she exposed her arm to Ellery.
When the smaller girl sent her another long stare, the girl simply said, “It lasts longer than when you write it on your hand. Her heart skipped a beat and she had the oddest urge to hide her face in a place where no one could see it.
Ellery, at a snail’s pace, uncapped the marker and very awkwardly held her arm. The entire time she was scrawling the 10 digits that were her phone number, she was hoping her palms were not noticeably sweaty.
“Great! Thank you, Ellery.” The girl smiled at her. But before she knew it, the mysterious girl had left her standing in the hallway with a tight hot feeling in her chest.
She’d never even got her name.
---
Ellery Miller had never been more excited to be home than she was today. She popped the door opened with her key and instantly let herself flop back into the plush cotton couch.
“Good afternoon, El, can’t you at least say hi to your mother?”
Ellery’s mother stood at the base of the couch with her fists on her hips. She was a short woman, the reason why Ellery was so challenged in the height department. Other than that, and the shape and size of her slightly crooked nose, Ellery took after her father. It would take quite a while to come to the conclusion that Ellery and her mother were related, and it was always fun to see the look in their eyes as they tried to figure it out.
Ellery’s mother had pin-straight black hair and light green eyes with clear fair skin. While Ellery was stuck with hard to manage dark grey hair and deep-set eyes that looked more like the color raw sewage than green. It was hard to like yourself sometimes when you always had to look up to the epitome of beauty all the time as a reminder of just how average she was.
Sitting up on the couch with an erect posture, Ellery folded her hands in her lap and smiled as well as she could. Exhaustion lingered in her bones and left her feeling like a used trash bag. “Hi.”
Her mother pursed her lips and her knuckles took purchase on her hips. “What happened at School El? You have that ghost expression going on again.”
“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” Ellery insisted calmly. Her gaze drifted to her hands as her mother went to her side and put the back of her hand to her forehead. “Oh, Honey. Are you sure? You’re burning up.”
Ellery carefully put a finger to her forehead. Her mom was right - it was hot to the touch. “Huh.”
The older woman pushed Ellery down onto the couch. “Stay there. I’ll get you an ice pack.” Before the younger of the two could say a word, the older had scurried off somewhere out of sight. At least now she could finally lay down. She let the atmosphere seep calm into her bones veins.
The only sound left in the room was the buzzing of a generator somewhere. Despite herself, Eller smiled as she let the comforting arms of sleep take her away.
---
Ellery waiting in bed that night with a lukewarm ice pack pressed to her forehead half-heartedly with one of her old wool headbands. She thanked whatever God had chosen to give her the flu that night because the thought of going to that girl’s party was stressful enough. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to go to school the next day and face her with all of her kindness and expectations that Ellery would never be able to reach. The girl sighed and pulled her blankets over her chest.
She often wondered what it would be like to live life like that girl from school, the one with the skin - to not be so annoying and in the way. She smiled into her pillow as she pictured it. Parties every Friday night with close friends. Movies, Coffee, and miniature golf. Friends who followed you with no questions asked. Someone who made her feel more than just a stupid kid. Ellery squeezed her pillow and imagined it.
There was a sound outside, a creak and a screech that left Ellery feeling more than a little unbalanced. The screeching sounds came again, and she knew that she had to go investigate.
Shimming out of her forest colored sheets and Sliding her feet into her owl-shaped slippers, she lifted herself off of the bed. She palmed the ice pack on her head and decided to just leave it be; no one was going to see her anyway.
Ellery palmed the door carefully and slid it open carefully. Before the door could creak, she slipped out from her bedroom and into the hallway. She carefully glanced at her parent’s bedroom door and nodded an ‘okay’ to herself that the coast was clear. Her feet kept fuzzy with the slippers and she was able to soundlessly exit the house.
The front porch was a tiny chunk of wood just big enough to stand on. Ellery, however, stepped down past the wooden porch and onto the rough asphalt bellow. The chilly autumn air was biting against the skin on Ellery’s arms and she instantly regretted not reaching for a jacket on her way out of the house.
Squat houses stood against the night sky like guards - unwilling to let anything pass. As Ellery tilted her head back, she saw as trees spindled up like a cage, meant to keep her hidden from the outside world. A ghost of a hand grasped for her throat, and suddenly the girl was off.
Chilly rocks poked into her feet and leaves flicked the sides of her arms are she ran. Somewhere she knew or nowhere at all - it was all the same to her. She needed to get out and escape. Maybe it was whatever illness that was eating at her insides that was causing her to behave so boldly. She was tugged on by a string that she couldn’t see. The girl collided head-on with a metal fence.
A flash of pain and then Ellery was stumbling in the opposite direction. She clapped a hand to her head - still warm - and stared at the fence with a nasty glare. There were no holes - The 20-foot-tall fence was completely inescapable.
Logically she knew that if she were to walk far enough in the opposite direction, she would come into contact with the major highway. However, her heart was screaming that she was trapped. Her soul told her that this was a cage and there was no way out. Chains were attached to her ankles, and every step she took felt like a failure.