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"What do you want to do?"
"Hm?"
"…After we make it out of here, I mean."
His words were the orotund staccato of their home tongue. They stayed on Kakyoin’s ears for a while, his sight flicking around as he tried to find the answer. There wasn’t much to see, it was dark already.
"What’s expected, I guess. Study, secure a job. Find a girl and all that."
Jotaro grunted, adjusting his hat. He’d lean himself back, kicking up a cloud of dust Kakyoin could barely see, but definitely breathed in. He hacked somewhat. There’d be dust on his coat when he got up.
There’d be dust on Kakyoin’s too. He was sitting next to him, after all. They tended to drift off just a bit from the group on some of the treks, just for some privacy. Originally it was just Jotaro, though Kakyoin started wandering off with him. He didn’t mind, Kakyoin was pretty quiet. Respectful wasn’t the right word, but he felt safe airing thoughts out around him. He couldn’t say the same for most of the group, except maybe Abdul.
Kakyoin turned to face him. “Is something wrong with that?”
He shrugged. “I should have expected it. Animals have rituals after all.”
The words didn’t make sense to Kakyoin, but he let it slide. Sometimes he’d start talking in nature parallels….it seemed to be how he made sense of the world, in a way.
A moment passed, the fire from the group could be heard in the distance, along with the booming sweeps of Polnareff’s heavy accent. Smoke and dust filled Kakyoin’s lungs as he took a breath.
Jotaro scratched under his hat, fidgeting it around.
"It just…feels like there should be more. What if the ritual, the instinct, is flawed. People can’t fuckin see stands most of the time, and people can’t even…fuckin’…see when their goddamn children are hurtin’."
His teeth were bared. There was a glimmer in his eyes, the prelude to a cascade. Eventually he just sighed, crumpling.
"Fuck this system, this hierarchy, fuck it to high hell ‘n back, it doesn’t give two shits about you unless you’re performin’ up to its bullshit standards….."
"….and it ignores you if it cannot understand you."
Kakyoin was crying now, thinking back to his childhood. Jotaro turned over, looking at him.
It took a while for him to notice. He was trying to wipe his eyes and compose himself first, controlling his breath. His heart stumbled over itself once he noticed; he felt a tinge of embarrassment.
"The stand. I was…sort of distanced because of it…people didn’t want to be around me and…I didn’t really think I could get close to them." he trailed off, looking away. He could hear shifting, footsteps…the gentle tinkling of a moving chain.
He could feel his face grow hot—he was friendly with Jotaro, sure, but the boy was very gruff, and he wasn’t sure what sort of reaction would come out of him, probably something negative—A hand clasped his shoulder, shaking him around, and dragging him into chiseled bosom.
"You have us now."
He was choking up, sniffling.
"I mean it. I’m…glad I saved you. You’re not too bad, you lil’ melon-lookin fucker."
He was being embraced now, gently, warmly, the tears were flowing more freely than ever. He was completely wrapped in Jotaro’s embrace now, it was entirely too hot for this sort of body contact and he swore he was sweating from the mutual body heat, but it also felt so satisfying…for once, he felt like there were people that understood, that wanted his company.
There was a small silence for a while, the crackling of the flames still audible. Joseph’s voice was the one audible this time, if only barely. It was slowly getting drowned out in Kakyoin’s ears by heartbeats. Jotaro was more focused on the sniffling noises and still uneven breathing of the comrade in his arms, and let out a small chuckle.
"Don’t dwell on it too much. What were we talkin’ about again anyway? Oh, that’s right. Society is shit."
Kakyoin let out a chuckle. “There’s just….so much….that nobody talks about. or just…doesn’t know…,” The sniffling was wearing down.
"…Humanity feels like a goddamn iceberg. You just see this small surface object, think you can understand it, but there’s so much that everyone refuses to fuckin acknowledge and repress and it’s there and hidin’ and you don’t know what to goddamn do with it—"
He stayed silent for some time.
"….the whole damn thing feels like jammin a bunch of fuckin clowns in a shitty clown car."
They both drifted into silence once more. Jotaro still hadn’t let go, the embrace felt…oddly right. He let his head dip into Kakyoin’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He could feel something sliding up and resting on his back, Kakyoin hugging back.
He started receding back to the ground, the other youth following gently. A weight was lifted from his chest as Kakyoin rolled off his chest, reluctantly lying at his side. A thin, pale hand went to Jotaro’s chest, staying there, and he met it, clasping it gently. He looked up to the sky, the colorless sea dotted with starlight. A heartbeat thrummed with energy underneath both their hands.
He felt free. As horrible as it sounded, with his mother in the state she was in, he felt as though a pair of blinders were removed, and he was growing closer to understanding something that was constantly out of his reach.
"Thanks," He grumbled, getting up. There was a smirk on his face, though, as he got up and dusted himself off. "I’m heading back now."
A rapid staccato of foosteps behind him, and then the clinking of steel as Kakyoin caught up to him, tugging him down by the chain of his gakuran—and softly planted lips on his own.
He could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat and his stomach did a small backflip. A few blinks. Honestly, he was quite dazed.
Kakyoin let out a snicker, winking and turning around. “You’re welcome~!
And so they went back to the group, not speaking of the incident, but still holding it close.