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“Do you think that there are other people like this right now?”
Cyrus opened his eyes, raising his head a bit to stare at T.J in confusion. He wasn’t surprised to see that T.J was looking up at the ceiling, a slight smile forming at the sight of his messy hair shoved into the hood of his sweater. They had decided today was a pure nap day because of the clouds outside that had signaled rain but had yet to provide any. That, and it was the perfect excuse to steal a hoodie to wear all day without question.
Not that he needed excuses anymore.
“What do you mean?” Cyrus asked after admiring the person he was lying beside for a little longer. This question prompted T.J to look at him with a sheepish smile, as if not having realized he’d nearly been asleep when asking the question.
“I just mean…do you think there are other people who feel like we do in this exact position? Or maybe even alternative versions of ourselves in other universes that are like this?”
This had Cyrus shifting until his ear pressed against T.J’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Honestly, Cyrus had never really thought about anything like what T.J was talking about: probably because the mere possibility made him fully aware of how large the universe really was. The thought alone was anxiety-inducing, though not as much as before when he remembered who exactly he had to explore the world with.
“I never did,” Cyrus admitted honestly, stifling a yawn and doing his best to remain awake. “But it sounds a bit scary,” he joked, only being half-serious.
“Scary? Is the great Cyrus Goodman scared of a little unknown territory?” T.J teased. His airy laughter caused his chest to vibrate while Cyrus pouted.
“Scared? Of course not,” Cyrus defended, feeling the other’s gaze on him. “Now, terrified on the other hand…”
T.J’s laughter caused Cyrus to smile, the shorter male moving again so his hands were lying on the other’s chest, chin resting against them as he returned his gaze to T.J. There was something in the other’s eyes that Cyrus couldn’t decipher—whether due to his own exhaustion or because T.J was guarded, he couldn’t tell yet.
After staring and feeling how T.J's heartbeat seemed to increase the longer he waited, he finally spoke before he killed the other with anticipation.
“What brought this up?”
T.J’s eyes dimmed a bit. The basketball player shrugged. “I dunno…just something I thought of while looking at you.”
“So looking at me makes you start thinking about alternate universes? And here I thought I looked awful today,” Cyrus said playfully, earning a hand in his hair as T.J made sure to make it stick up in various directions as payback. When they both calmed, the two were staring at each other: Cyrus admiring how green T.J’s eyes were and hoping that his own brown ones weren’t too boring to look into.
“Your eyes are always so pretty, underdog.”
Well, that settled that.
“You think?”
T.J’s own eyes lit up as he nodded. “I know because I can’t stop looking at them…or you, for that matter.”
Now as much as Cyrus loved compliments, this was definitely not the same back and forth they often had. T.J was smooth and kind and probably the perfect person for Cyrus to date but he was a lot shyer than he let on to others. The fact that he was saying all of these things made Cyrus wonder how many times he'd gone over it in his head to say it so confidently.
“You’re holding something back from me, aren’t you?”
T.J’s smile dimmed. “What do you mean? Can't a guy compliment his boyfriend?”
With a roll of his eyes, Cyrus moved to sit up, staring down at the other now. “What is it, Teej? Something is going on that attractive mind of yours.”
T.J raised a brow at the comment, but then his smile faded into something smaller and he was letting out a deep breath. Cyrus waited patiently, opting to reach for one of T.J’s hands and play with his fingers until he was ready to speak.
“If there are alternate universes that exist where you’re with me…who's to say that there aren’t anywhere you aren’t?”
If Cyrus had been tired before, he was fully awake now. “What?”
Shifting, T.J moved closer so that Cyrus was now placed between his legs. Cyrus continued to stare at him, only letting his hand go so that T.J could raise it to rest against his cheek instead.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m still confused as to why you’re here with me. Going from liking someone like Jonah to—”
“I’m gonna stop you there,” Cyrus said quietly, leaning into his hand and raising his own to place on top of it. “Because you’re making it sound like I ended up here out of luck and not out of choice.”
T.J averted his gaze, Cyrus frowning deeply. How long had T.J been thinking about this? How long had he been putting himself down to the point of thinking Cyrus wasn’t with him out of 100% choice? Cyrus couldn't even think of anyone else that he would want to date. Jonah was nothing but his best friend: a brother, even.
“Thelonius Jagger Kippen.”
Tensing at the use of his full name, T.J shot him a look which is exactly what Cyrus had been hoping for. Leaning in, he pressed a soft peck to the other’s nose, barely backing away and looking him straight in the eye. He pressed his forehead to T.J’s own and exhaled softly.
“I’m with you because I want to be, not because of anything else. My crush on Jonah was years ago and even then…he never made me feel like I do when I’m with you. You’re the only person to make me this happy. Not Jonah, not Iris. Not any random person from an alternate universe we're not even sure exists.”
The hope in T.J’s eyes made Cyrus’s heart swell.
“It’s always been you,” Cyrus finished with a shy smile, the quiet sound of rain tapping against the outside of T.J’s window nothing but background noise. He knew this might be pushing it, but the look in T.J's eyes had the words spilling out.
“And I hope it’ll always be you.”
“Yeah?” T.J replied so softly that Cyrus would have missed it if not staring right at him.
“Yeah,” Cyrus assured, freeing his hands so he could cradle the other's face properly. He ran his thumbs against T.J's cheeks and watched as his eyes closed, expression much more peaceful—minus the slightly goofy grin threatening to form on his lips.
What a nerd.
"Thanks, Underdog."
Cyrus shrugged. “It's the truth. Besides, I’ve just perfected my blueberry macadamia muffin recipe and no one in their right mind would eat that kind of monstrosity—”
Before Cyrus could finish, T.J was pulling him down so they were lying together again, aiming for his sides and attempting to tickle him for making such a bad joke in the middle of a serious conversation. The two continued on for a bit until they nearly fell off the bed together: faces red and small giggles and chuckles still escaping their lips.
With T.J’s arms wrapped around him, Cyrus moved closer into the warmth only to feel T.J’s nose bump against his own. It was his way of asking if this was alright, to which Cyrus nodded with a tiny smile.
Kissing T.J at first was nothing like Cyrus had expected, but he also hadn't expected to be going three years strong with the person who he once called 'scary basketball guy'.
When T.J pulled away, he whispered a small ‘thank you’, Cyrus raising a hand to brush some hair from the other’s eyes.
“Stop thinking of alternate selves and universes and stay with me here, Kippen.”
A bright smile and those same green eyes.
“Bold of you to assume you could get rid of me, Goodman.”