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Dean’s eyes opened to find Sam sitting in a chair next to his bed, staring at him with an intent that took Dean by surprise. The elder Winchester squirmed uncomfortably under the scrutiny before quickly donning his macho facade.
“Sam, what the actual fuck?!”
The younger rolled his eyes at Dean’s attempt to remain dignified before fixating his attention back on his brother.
“Dean, we need to talk.”
“So? We couldn’t talk at a normal time? Such as when I’m awake?”
Sam crooked an eyebrow at Dean. “What I want to talk about is something that you would never agree to talk with me about in a million years. You would do what you always do; avoid the subject. Something is not okay in your world and it's killing you. Now, where were we?”
Dean gulped. He knew exactly what this was about. “Sam,” he sighed, too exhausted by his issues to deny his brother an answer. “You wouldn’t understand.”
The long haired man tilted his head, curiosity and surprise at the once-in-a-lifetime possibility of Dean opening up to him making his eyes widen before he pulled himself back together again. “Try me.”
The elder brother sat up in bed, wincing at the pain in his back due to the uncomfortable motel bed. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and sighed.
“Look, Sam, I just - I’m tired, man.”
“Dean, you just slept for -”
“Not that kind of tired!” Dean interrupted, irritation at his brother making his voice rise. Sam jumped, taken aback by Dean’s outburst before he relaxed and refocused apologetic eyes on his brother. Meanwhile, Dean took a second to calm himself down then started again.
“Sorry, Sam, I just… I’ve been thinking,” he tried again. “About, you know, life, in general. You know, with this job I never thought I’d make it past 20. I was never meant to live, but, now, I’m getting old. I’ve been thinking about settling down. I know you’ve been thinking of settling down, going back to college. And I know it’s selfish of me to make you keep going through this life, but I don’t want to settle down...alone. Just like with this life,” Dean paused to gesture at the motel room. “I don’t want to be alone. I want someone with me.”
Sam looked at Dean, a sad yet confused look upon his features. “Dean, we’ll still be together even if I go back for my degree. I’m with you.”
Dean cleared his throat and shifted. “No Sam...with me. But what will I do? I’ll never be good enough for anyone. Nobody deserves to be burdened with Dean Winchester. I’ll be in this life forever, selfishly dragging you down with me. And what if you’re stuck with me forever, Sammy? What if nobody actually falls in love with me?”
After his rant, Dean looked at Sam with complete and utter despair. Sam inwardly smirked at the satisfaction about being right about what Dean’s issue was and leaned back in his chair, donning a contemplative face so as not to arouse suspicion in his brother.
All of a sudden the motel room to their right collapsed in on itself in a pile of rubble with a bang, revealing an archangel dragging behind him a very disgruntled angel in a very familiar trenchcoat.
“Haha, that’s where you’re wrong Dean-o,” Gabriel announced, popping his sucker out of his mouth, lewdly winking at Sam.
“Gabriel, this is most definitely not the largest apiary collection in all the Earth,” Castiel grunted, steely blue eyes fixed upon his brother. It appeared as if he was going to try to smite Gabriel before he caught sight of the Winchesters. “Hello Dean.”
Dean smiled and looked down at his hands before softly saying, “Hey Cas.”
Gabriel and Sam met each other’s gazes and rolled their eyes simultaneously before turning their attention back to their respective brothers.
“Cassie, I’m sorry for lying to you, okay, but I did so for the sake of your love life.”
Castiel and Dean startled out of their reverie and responded to Gabriel’s apology at the same time.
“What?!”
“Gabriel, you promised to never joke about bees. Ever.”
Sam stood up and looked at his elder brother, his hands folded and face caring but firm.
“Dean, lately you’ve been distracted and have been jumping into the bottle more than you’ve actually faced your issues.”
“What is this, an intervention?” Dean asked disbelievingly, jumping out of bed.
Gabe stepped forward, a mockingly serious face plastered upon his features. “Dean, we’re worried about you.”
Castiel and Dean looked at each other, Dean raising his eyebrows as Cas tilted his head. The elder Winchester turned his attention to the other people in the room.
“Look, guys, I get that you care -” Gabriel opened his mouth but Dean quickly held his hand up in a silencing motion. “- in some way. And I appreciate it, I do. But this is my own problem, okay? Let me deal with it on my own, in my way.”
“Dean this is not dealing! Becoming an alcoholic is not a smart way to fix a problem!” Sam shouted, tired of his brother’s bullshit. Dean opened his mouth to shoot a scathing response back at his brother but was cut off by Cas.
“Alcoholism?”
That one word broke Dean’s entire world, the amount of confusion and sadness imbuing it making him slump over and not meet the angel’s eyes. “Cas, I just..”
“He just has been lonely and concerned he will be alone forever. And not just alone, alone alone,” Gabriel interrupted, him and Sam smirking, causing Dean to turn bright red. The eldest Winchester stammered, rendered borderline speechless as Cas marched toward him with a purpose, righteous fury illuminating the angel’s blue eyes. Gabriel materialized a bag of popcorn and offered some to Sam.
“Dean Winchester, you are the most idiotic intelligent humans I have ever made the acquaintance of,” Cas raged, stopping very close to Dean. “Why would you fall back into these poisonous habits?! How could you?! I will never, ever, let you kill yourself over something like this!”
The Winchester in question raised his head slowly, focusing sad eyes on the angel less than a foot away from him. “Cas, the person I love will never love me back. And if I can’t have you, then what’s the point?!”
The room fell silent, the only sound, the crunching of popcorn, echoing in the quiet. Dean paled at his slip up and turned away from Castiel, putting his head in his hands. He knew that Cas could never care for him, and probably never will after what he just said.
Castiel’s eyes widened and he put his hand forward, gently grabbing Dean’s chin and slowly turning the hunter back toward him. To Dean’s surprise, Cas kissed him and then put his forehead against Dean’s own.
“You assbutt,” Castiel said lowly, his eyes loving and warm. “I love you.”
____________
As Dean viciously laid one on Castiel in the room behind them, Sam and Gabriel were exiting, taking that as their cue to leave.
They basked in the silence of the motel room hallway, happy that they finally got their respective brothers to admit their feelings for one another. Sam was the first one to speak.
“Seriously?” Sam asked as he turned toward his boyfriend. “You absolutely had to break the actual wall down?"
Gabriel smirked and kissed the other man playfully. “How long do you think it’ll take for them to notice?