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Nitori stirred from sleep in a slow, pleasant way. He slowly stretched each part of his body, relishing in the comfortable soreness that tingled in his arms and legs until he felt the tightness of his bladder. He kept his eyes shut and twisted his legs together without any real urgency, wanting to enjoy his sleepiness for as long as possible. Today was one of the extremely rare days where there were no classes or even training, so he could sleep in.
He drifted in and out of a light doze for a while. Some minutes later, his eyes shot open as his bladder spasmed insistently. Ooh. He eased himself into a sitting position on his bed, now completely realizing two things—he couldn’t remember when he’d last used the bathroom (last night he had forgotten to go before bed like he normally did, so tired he’d simply fallen into bed and gone to sleep) and the shower was running.
Shower. That meant the bathroom was occupied. It also meant—Nitori bit his lip and squirmed—it would be harder to wait with the noise of running water, because the noise of the shower always made him need to go more.
Now significantly more anxious than before (though silently thanking Momotaro for letting him have the bottom bunk, because trying to climb down with a full bladder was just asking for trouble) he immediately stood, allowing himself to adjust to the gravity change before grabbing some of his schoolwork. He needed a distraction, and he had some studying to do anyway.
His urgency lessened as he sat and began to read. The first forty-five minutes went by easy, his desperation almost completely forgotten until he tried to switch subjects and began tuning into the noise of the shower again. A pang went through his middle. Trying to make his movements calm, he slowly set his things to the side and stood up, moving with small steps until he stood in front of the closed bathroom door. His fist hovered in the air and he blushed, trying to decide whether he should just wait another ten minutes or ask and get things over with.
Nitori wasn’t bladder shy, per se—if he had to pee around other guys he would do it, albeit with a reddened face. But he was very self-conscious about it, and too many accidents as a child because of his reluctance to admit his need had made him more aware of it now. He would try to find a bathroom as soon as he felt the first twinges of his bladder to avoid having to tell someone about it later. It usually kept him out of any embarrassing situations, but sometimes it didn’t completely work. He still remembered himself squirming next to Rin on the way to a competition (the result of napping through the first bathroom break and being too embarrassed to ask for another one), admitting that he needed to go in a whisper and getting handed an empty water bottle. He had managed to fill it almost completely to the top, but he’d been so embarrassed that he spent the rest of the ride being completely quiet.
He quickly shook his head to get the memory out of his mind. Not a good time to be remembering that. Before he could decide not to, he quickly knocked twice. It’s more embarrassing to wet yourself than to ask for the bathroom, he thought. It had become something of a mantra every time he had to go. It’s more embarrassing to wet yourself than to ask for the bathroom.
“Momotaro-chan,” he called nervously, “Are you almost done in there?”
“Eh?” came the first year’s voice, muffled through the door, “Why, do you need the toilet?”
Heat rushed to Nitori’s cheeks. “Not badly,” he lied.
“Well good, because I’m not nearly finished,” Momotaro replied cheerfully.
Not nearly finished? He’d been showering for over half an hour and wasn’t even almost done? Nitori groaned quietly and shuffled back over to the bed. Well, whatever. He could wait, what, another twenty minutes? Until then he could squirm in privacy all he liked without being too embarrassed.
He collapsed back onto the bed. He would trade the bottom bunk for Momotaro to not take forever in the shower. With a quiet sigh he returned to studying. For another half hour, he read about the cold war, squirming around only occasionally. After that, his concentration began to wan. The shower seemed louder now, even though Momotaro had begun to sing loudly. Nitori crossed one leg over the other and tried to focus.
-became a country full of unrest and chaos-
full of unrest and chaos
full… very full
A spurt warmed the front of his boxers.
He squeaked, one hand shoving the book off of his lap and the other going between his legs to prevent more from leaking out. Though there was no one there to see him, his face reddened at being in such an embarrassing position. He didn’t want to grab himself like a child.
Trembling slightly as he untangled himself, Nitori shuffled back over to the bathroom and knocked loudly.
“What?” Momotaro drew the syllable out in a whine, obviously annoyed at having his song interrupted.
“You’ve been in there for a while; aren’t you going to come out any time soon?”
“But I still have to wash my hair!”
How? How could he spend so much time in there without even washing his hair?
Nitori realized he’d have to find some other bathroom. The first-year didn’t sound like he would be getting out any time soon, and he needed to go now. But what else was there? The bathrooms near the classrooms were much too far away; even the thought of trying to make it to any bathroom other than the one in this room was unbearable. He twisted his legs together and bounced on the balls of his feet, too distressed to feel silly, though still hearing Rin’s sarcastic comment about how ridiculous he looked in his head.
Rin. He could ask to use Rin and Sosuke’s shared bathroom.
His initial reaction to the thought was a resounding no. He’d actually gotten used to Rin knowing he had to pee—learning about Rin’s bedwetting made it less mortifying—but the idea of practically begging to use his bathroom because he couldn’t wait to use his own still wasn’t appealing. Not to mention that it was Sosuke’s bathroom too, and he didn’t want the upperclassmen’s early impression of him being desperate to pee.
It wasn’t like he had a choice at this point, though. He hurried toward the door before remembering that he was still only wearing his boxers and a t-shirt. A despairing cry actually came out of his throat, and he grabbed the first pair of shorts he found, somehow pulling them on without wetting himself and leaking all the while.
The trek down the hall to Rin’s dorm seemed almost impossible now. His walk was more of a bent-over hobble, his stomach too stretched for him to stand up straight. Halfway through, he had to stop and twist his legs together and squeeze himself; he felt like he was on the verge of wetting himself and another step would make him lose it but it wasn’t far now and he just had to make it a few more meters because he would not wet himself right in the middle of the hallway. He would not give up here. When he finally stood in front of the correct door, he didn’t hesitate to knock, his voice giving away his panic. “Rin-chan, Rin-chan!” Since hearing Momotaro call him senpai every thirty seconds, Nitori had sheepishly realized how obnoxious it was and switched to the regular honorific ‘chan’ when addressing Rin (much to Rin’s relief).
“Nitori—Jesus, don’t break the door down,” came the muffled voice from the other side. “Hold on just a sec.”
Nitori didn’t have a “sec”. “Rin-chan, please,” he cried desperately, feeling pathetic and embarrassed when he heard how annoyed his friend sounded. Why did he need help to solve such a simple problem? He just had to pee, for heaven’s sakes; why did he have to go to Rin and bother him about it? He bothered Rin about everything.
The door swung open.
Rin stood there in a dark tank top and sweatpants. The mildly irritated look on his face immediately vanished when he saw Nitori nearly doubled over, sweat beading on his forehead and legs squished together. “What the—” he began, only to stop when he saw a few beads of liquid roll down Nitori’s legs. That, combined with his flushed face and awkward pose, made it strikingly obvious he had to pee. What wasn’t obvious was why he was just standing there if he had to go so badly.
“What the hell are you doing?” Rin demanded, his surprise making his voice louder.
Nitori flinched but answered in a rambling, shaky tone. “Momotaro-chan has been in the shower for almost two hours and I really have to go; I’ve been having to go since I woke up, but he’s been in the shower this whole time and I tried asking him when he’ll be out but I don’t think—” his voice cracked. His vision of Rin blurred as he fiercely blinked back tears.
Rin frowned at him. “Oi,” he said firmly but not unkindly, “don’t get all worked up about it, just come in and use—” A sudden dark patch began to spread over Nitori’s shorts, “—mine...”
Nitori jammed a hand between his legs, disregarding any concern for his appearance. He could not wet himself, not here, right in the hallway in front of Rin. No, no, no.
As if the universe had decided to see how it could possibly humiliate him even more, Nitori heard voices and footsteps. Oh god. He felt a surge of horror. A large group of people was coming back from breakfast and he was wetting himself in the hallway.
Except he was suddenly being grabbed by the arm and dragged into the room. Rin pulled him in, quickly shutting the door behind them.
Nitori was briefly able to register that Sosuke wasn’t even in the room before he felt himself losing control. Then relief and mortification overwhelmed him as a muffled hissing noise filled the air.
He’d long since stopped bursting into sobs when he was desperate or wet himself around Rin, because accidents happened—it wasn’t his fault there were no toilets close by and Rin said it so nonchalantly and almost kindly that it actually made Nitori feel better about it—and really, if he wet the bed because of an occasional nightmare, Rin wasn’t in any position to complain. This, though. This was just ridiculous. There were bathrooms nearby, and he had literally wet himself a few meters from the toilet.
Nitori began crying quietly into his hands. He felt like a first year again, standing in a row with the other first years as he tried not to squirm, completely unfocused on what the captain was saying. He’d already been teased once for bolting straight to the toilets right after practice, and he didn’t want to interrupt the captain for something as ridiculous as needing to pee. So he’d stood there, thighs squished together and hands squeezed into fists around his hips, actually feeling pretty confident about keeping it together when Mikoshiba singled him out.
Nitori Aiichiro, are you paying attention?
Y-Yes!
And he didn’t know whether it was from stress, the fact that he had been startled, or he had simply reached his limit (maybe a mix of all three), but Nitori felt warmth on his legs and realized with horror that he was wetting himself. He discovered whoever thought having an accident at a pool would be unnoticeable was completely wrong—the urine didn’t stream down his legs in small rivulets, but it gushed from him in a big, obvious stream.
So he’d stood there in front of his entire new team with his hands over his face, sobbing as he wet himself.
That was the most mortifying thing that had ever happened to him, but this was a close second.
“I’m sorry,” Nitori choked out, because oh god he hadn’t even wet himself in his own room this was Rin and Sosuke’s room and he was making a huge puddle of pee on their floor and he was still going—
“Quit crying,” Rin said sharply, setting both of his hands on Nitori’s shoulders.
Nitori swallowed and managed to obey, but his vision was still blurred with tears.
They stood there for a good minute. Nitori had his hands over his face as he continued emptying the contents of his bladder, and Rin firmly kept his grip on the second year’s shoulders. He had wet himself before and knew just how embarrassing it could be. And exhausting, he noted as the smaller boy’s frame began to sag.
After what seemed like an eternity, Nitori finished and felt his shorts become cold.
He stared at the floor and bit his lip, too ashamed to look up at Rin and too afraid he would begin crying again if he spoke.
Of course, Rin’s hands moved up to his chin and tried to force it upward. “Look at me,” he demanded. Then he surprised Nitori by gently swiping at the corners of his eyes with his thumbs. His voice wasn’t exactly soft, but it was much less rough than it usually was. “Aii, look at me.”
That was enough to make him look up. His heart skipped in his chest, though he couldn’t tell whether it was from shame or affection.
For a moment Rin seemed startled that he looked up at all because Nitori usually hid his face when he was embarrassed. After a moment of silence he said, “It’s just us right here. There’s no need to freak out.”
Right, but, “but Sosuke—”
“—went out for a jog and won’t be back just yet. He doesn’t need to know about this. Look,” he glanced around as if searching for something, “use our shower to get cleaned up. I’ll go to your room and get you some clothes.”
Nitori felt a rush of gratitude and nodded. “Um, do you have anything I can use to…” He stared down at the giant puddle gathered around his feet, the blush returning to his face.
“I’ll take care of it,” Rin assured him, carefully stepping around it to get to the door.
Nitori opened his mouth to argue, but then he remembered all the times he had woken up during the middle of the night to wordlessly strip Rin’s sheets with him. “Thanks,” he said in a hushed tone instead.
Rin muttered something that sounded like “I’ll be right back” and left.
Nitori stared at the door for a moment. That had turned out better than he could’ve hoped. He felt unnaturally warm despite the cold, sodden fabric clinging to his thighs, and he smiled to himself as he headed to the bathroom.