Chapter Text
“Go out with me.”
Hayner’s in the middle of chomping down on his second sea-salt ice cream of the day when this very unexpected request comes. Tucked under one of the balconies that litter their small town, not far from the old Tramyard that had been recently converted into a makeshift movie theatre. He’s on his own - taking a short break from his part time job while his friends continued to toil away at theirs - and had been catching up on his Instagram when a shadow darkens his phone and a familiar voice cuts through his brain’s idle chatter with itself.
Blinking slowly, Hayner lifts his head up to stare owlishly at the requester: Seifer Almasy.
He’s squinting against the sun, arms crossed, and, most surprisingly, sans his trademark beanie. Hayner briefly wonders if Seifer’s hair had always been so blond, or if the eternal golden hue that lights their town is highlighting it to be extra shiny. It’s distracting, and Hayner’s brain is still waking up, so he takes his time in replying.
“What?” He finally asks after thirty solid seconds of silence. Seifer gives an annoyed huff, shifting his weight to one side as he un-crosses his arms to lean onto his right hip.
“I said,” he huffs, obviously irritated, “Go out with me.”
The silence returns, the repetition of the request not at all aiding Hayner in fully understanding it. He turns it over slowly in his head before deciding, nope, still doesn’t make any sense, and jerks into a proper sitting position, his ice cream falling closer to the ground.
“ What? ” Hayner repeats, incredulous. It’s been nearly half a year since Hayner saw Seifer last, man generally only found meandering around town during the summer holidays. Seifer and the rest of his gang had chosen to go to some outside Academy several years back, rather than continue their schooling by going to the local University like everyone else. Hayner included. To say such a request comes out of nowhere is putting it lightly. “You want me to go out with you?”
“Yes.” Seifer confirms, completely unfazed.
(Because, apparently, asking out your age old rival isn’t weird at all in Seifer World.)
“Why?” Hayner’s not an expert on the dating world, but even he knows that people generally have some sort of romantic feelings for the people they ask out and, despite the many rumours that circulated during high school, Hayner and Seifer had never shared any sort of feelings for each other besides irritation and begrudging respect.
He’s not expecting any declaration of love, Hayner’s not stupid , and he’s rewarded with an annoyed sigh and Seifer re-crossing his arms, the look of a man preparing for a long winded battle.
“A bunch of my supervisors have been pestering me to get a girlfriend and it’s irritating as hell.” Hayner makes a sympathetic face. He can relate. His parents are starting to get on him for the same thing. “There’s a girl in my group they keep trying to pair me off with but I don’t have any interest in her. Not that that matters to them…”
Seifer mumbles the last bit, low and frustrated. For his part, Hayner can’t imagine anyone thinking Seifer would be a decent partner. Crude, brash, arrogant, mean… the list goes on, really.
“So?” Hayner prompts, returning to his earlier task of eating his ice cream. Work would be looking for him soon, so he needs to wrap this all up as soon as possible. After a quick glare, Seifer indulges him.
“So, I told them I already had someone. To get them off my back.”
A classic move, Hayner nods his approval.
“Trouble is, I don’t actually have anyone.” Hayner’s not terribly surprised. While Seifer had fans back in the day, he never really dated. Hayner had mused over this a few times in the years past, but never for long, usually becoming distracted by something else. “So that’s where you come in.”
“You want me to be your fake boyfriend?” Hayner asks, looking to clarify everything, raising a brow as he nibbles at the bottom of his ice cream.
Before Seifer can reply, the tram dings, startling them both, and indicates to the standing man to get off the road so it can continue with its never-ending loop. Hayner instinctively straightens up when Seifer gives a low grunt and steps in closer towards him, giving the tram the room it needs.
They both watch it pass, and Hayner’s eyes can only briefly meet Seifer’s when he realizes the man isn’t going to step back. To get himself back on track, Hayner repeats his question, and is hit with a spike of curiosity when he watches Seifer visibly deflate.
“Got it in one, Chickenwuss.” He sighs, looking worn out. Hayner’s almost sympathetic, he can’t imagine how bad the hounding must be for Seifer to turn to someone like him , but at the same time, he isn’t entirely sure he wants to find out. Especially if it means acting as his childhood rival’s boyfriend.
“Okay… But why me exactly? We’re not exactly the lovey-dovey type.” An understatement to say the least. “Couldn’t you have picked Rai or Fuu or like… anyone else?”
“They already know I’m just friends with Rai and Fuu. And… I need someone I know won’t fall in love with me.” Seifer explains with a weak shrug, one of his fingers tapping incessantly. Hayner’s eyes narrow. Something feels off about the explanation, but he can’t place it, and he’s not interested enough to parse it.
“Well, you got that right.” Hayner huffs as he stands, patting away imaginary dirt from his pants. He knows work has to be looking for him at this point and he’s not really in the mood for any more lectures by his supervisor.
“Perfect, you down?” Seifer asks, his body finally seeming to relax. His telltale smirk even giving hints at a possible appearance. Hayner immediately throws his arms up in an “X” shape in front of him.
“Hell no! Why would I ever date you, fake or not?”
“You owe me, Chickenwuss!” There’s suddenly a significant difference in the space separating Hayner from Seifer, as the latter steps in close and yanks on Hayner’s collar. “I seem to recall you promising to, ‘Pay me back,’ after I helped you and your other lamers out not too long ago.”
A few of the townsfolk wandering by give them a wary look, but it’s more of exasperation than anything else. The brawls that made them infamous had died down after high school - due in part to Seifer straight up leaving town - and Hayner’s sure the concern present on their faces has more to do with the planters surrounding them than the boys themselves.
(Hayner once smashed eleven planters in a single brawl with Seifer. A record he never ever beat.)
“Yeah, well, I mean.. Yeah!” Hayner struggles in the older man’s grasp, trying in vain to detach his shirt from the other’s fist. He does remember said promise, coming in the moments of jubilation after Seifer aided them in fighting off some random group of punks that had decided to challenge them for their usual spot, but he had only made that thinking Seifer would ask for a similar favour. Not.. this! “But! Dating? Man, you gotta know it’s gonna end badly! All we do is fight!”
“I think we’ve matured enough we can spend a few days together without murdering one another.” Seifer replies evenly and Hayner can’t believe the faith he has in them.
“Seifer, we can’t even talk for five minutes without arguing.” Hayner huffs before giving up on escaping and stilling in Seifer’s grasp. “I don’t see you for six months and look! You’re already at my throat.”
Seifer at least has the decency to look slightly ashamed, but this doesn’t stop him from giving Hayner a light shove when he does let him go.
“We wouldn’t have this problem if you just listened to me.” He grouses and Hayner rolls his eyes.
“What? You want me to submit to you?” An odd flush climbs Seifer’s neck that’s covered by him coughing and covering his face in what seems to be irritation. Hayner ignores this and continues on, “That’s not gonna happen. Ask another favour! I dunno... let me help you fight your supervisors to get them off your back! That’d be fun!”
This gets a small chuckle out of Seifer but he still shakes his head at it, “Besides this, I really do like them. And it’s a good job I’m not about to risk losing. ”
Unfortunate, Hayner thinks, making a disappointed face.
“Listen,” Seifer starts, almost sounding defeated, “I just need you for a four day business getaway. It’s an all expense paid trip to one of the top hotels in Radiant Garden. At the very least, you get some free drinks, all you can eat food, and the chance to act like you’re some rich prick. I have some work I’ll need to get done anyways so we won’t even be together all the time.”
Hayner perks up immediately. The hotels and resorts in Radiant Garden were world class and the envy of everyone . During midterm season, Hayner often found himself scrolling through the offered amenities of some of the more expensive ones and imagining he was there instead of holed up in the apartment he shared with Roxas pretending he knew what half the terms in his notes meant.
In truth, this is probably the only chance he’ll ever have to see the inside in person.
“See, why didn’t you start with that. ‘Hey, Hayner. Wanna help me con my bosses and get some free food out of it?’ We could’ve avoided a lot of trouble.”
“Figured you missed me enough to agree faster.”
Hayner laughs, loud and unabashed, and doesn’t make any move to deny it. He had missed him, after all.
"All right, all right. I’ll do it. Is your number the same still? I’ll text you when I’m done work so we can talk about it more. I’m already like, five minutes past my break.”
Seifer rattles off the last four digits of his number while Hayner quickly double checks the contact he’s had it since high school. They had been forced into a couple group school projects together and they had never really hated each other in high school… they had just never mastered the art of being close to each other for an extended period of time.
After confirmations, he shoots his now boyfriend ( weird ) a smile and a wave, “I’ll text you later! I really got to get back to work.”
At this point they were going to cancel his break next shift and Hayner really doesn’t need that to happen.
“I’ll walk you back.” Seifer replies, returning his smile and waving him forward as he starts off in the direction of Hayner’s latest part time job. (He’s too restless to find any joy in staying in one place, but thankfully Twilight Town allows for that, everyone knowing Hayner to be a hard worker, just a bit… nomadic.)
“Am I allowed to tell my group?” Hayner asks after a couple steps. He would regardless of Seifer’s answer, but thinks it kind to at least pretend to give Seifer some sort of say. However, Seifer’s on the same wavelength as him and just smirks.
“Would you hide it from them if I asked you too?”
“No.” Hayner responds immediately, blunt as ever. Seifer rolls his eyes.
“Well, there you go.”
“Why didn’t you ask Roxas or something?” Surely another excellent candidate in the “Definitely-Would-Not-Fall-In-Love-With-Seifer” category.
“You know Chickenwuss and I don’t get along.”
“And we do?”
“Better than anyone else in your group.”
“Aww, does this mean you like me the most?” Hayner teases with a bright grin. Seifer just looks at him, but doesn’t respond, leaving Hayner feeling oddly flustered. He quickly moves to cover it up with a joke. “What a softie you are! Softie Seifer! Seitea-urk!”
Hayer lurches forward, Seifer having placed a hard whack on his back.
“You’re here .” Seifer says, almost sweetly, before swaggering off with a flippant wave. “Don’t forget to text me.”
“You’re late .” Hayner’s boss’ heavily accented voice rings through before Hayner can make any sort of retort. “You better have a good reason!”
“Sorry!” Hayner says hastily, and then, awkward and shy, “My… boyfriend kept me.”
The feeling that blossoms from this confession sits oddly in Hayner’s stomach, unsettled but warm, leaving Hayner feeling dizzy.
His boss is sympathetic, but only momentarily.
“Aww, young love, isn’t that sweet. You’re staying an extra ten minutes after your shift.”
Hayner supposes he can’t argue with that.
The twilight sun is warm and comforting when Hayner steps into it after work. He ends up being let off early, the evening being too calm to keep extra hands, and gifted with some tester pastries from the chef.
“Be sure to save some for your sweetheart!” Had been the instructions left to him by his boss and Hayner can still feel the heat sparking across his cheeks from reading the word sweetheart and connecting it to Seifer. He doubts the older man has anything resembling a sweet tooth and besides, Hayner already promised Olette to bring back any food he got from the bistro.
Pulling out his phone, Hayner shoots Seifer a quick text of done w work before pocketing it again and making his way to the Usual Spot. It buzzes almost immediately.
Going into a meeting. I’ll text after.
Hayner rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath before shoving his phone away again and marching forward with renewed purpose.
See if Hayner would try and save him any of the dessert now .
“I’m going out with Seifer.” Hayner says as he settles into his spot on the couch, having portioned out the piece of tart he had been gifted with. Deciding to mimic Seifer’s route of giving absolutely no context, Hayner happily waits to see his friend’s reactions.
He’s quickly rewarded.
Pence gapes at him like a fish out of water, Olette very nearly drops her section of the dessert, and Roxas just stands there, like a deer in headlights, before very slowing nodding his head and sitting down. After a brief moment of stunned silence, Pence’s voice comes tumbling from his body.
“The rumours were true!” He whispers, in absolute awe, pointing a dramatic finger at his friend. Hayner frowns.
“What rumours?”
“There were always rumours you and Seifer had a thing for each other,” Olette explains, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and going back to her piece. “I thought you knew that?”
Hayner did. He also knew people had way too much time on their hands.
“Well the rumours are wrong.” Roxas shoots him the most disbelieving look of you dumb motherfucker that urges Hayner to explain as soon as possible. “Seifer’s trying to get some people at work off his back about dating, so he’s using me as a fake boyfriend.”
Another stretch of silence. Hayner shoves the giant strawberry he swiped from Pence into his mouth. This is more fun than he thought it would be.
“Seifer… is using you… as a fake boyfriend.” Roxas repeats, slow and methodical as he tries to understand. “… Why? ”
“Because I’m his favourite? I dunno. All he really said was we’re going to some hotel in Radiant Garden for a few days for some business trip.”
“ A few days ?” Roxas repeats, almost stupefied. “And he’s not worried you’re gonna blow it?”
Hayner shrugs.
“The man has faith in me.”
“Then he’s a fool.”
“Gotta agree with you there.”
“Hayner…” Olette says softly, “Do you know what this means?”
Hayner gives her a blank look.
“You’re living the fake dating trope! With Seifer! ”
Hayner doesn’t wish the recognize the trope he’s been thrown into, so he just makes a face at her and turns back to his food. Off to the other side of them, Roxas softly whispers, “Holy shit…!” as Pence finally rejoins the conversation, his shock having worn off, “You know how those kinds of movies end, right? You’re gonna find out you were secretly in love the whole time and then we’ll actually have to deal with you dating Seifer.”
“First of all, this is not a movie.” This is reality , Pence, please. “Second of all, Seifer picked me specifically for the fact I would not fall in love with him.”
“Another classic trope…” Pence whispers to a nodding Roxas. Hayner tosses a pillow at them, managing a solid hit to Roxas’ face.
“Have some faith in me! I only agreed ‘cause he forcibly reminded me I owe him a favour.” Hayner leans back into the couch, his earlier annoyance returning to him. To his right, Olette appears deep in thought.
“All right!” She says suddenly, clapping her hands in front of her. “We got this!”
“We?”
“We do?”
“Got what?” Chorus the remaining three, each of them turning to her with vaguely curious or startled expressions.
“This! Come on, Hayner. If this is gonna work you two are gonna need a lot of help!”
Hayner texts Seifer come meet me at the usual spot after the other informs him of being done with his meeting and within twenty minutes, Seifer is gently calling out Hayner’s name as he ducks into the small alleyway crevice.
He’s greeted with four faces staring back at him.
“Uh… Hello?” The bafflement on his face is absolutely hilarious. Hayner has to suppress a grin.
“Hello, Seifer.” Olette replies sternly. “I’m glad you could join us.”
“Sure…” He says slowly before a frown returns to his face. “Is this an intervention?”
“No—“ Olette says immediately, waving her hand in front of her. Roxas cuts her off however, before she can bring any relief or clarity to Seifer.
“Kind of, I guess? I mean… what the hell are you thinking?” There’s no venom in Roxas’ voice, only genuine curiosity. Both Olette and Seifer share in a sigh, though Olette joins the rest of her group in watching Seifer afterwards, all ready to hear his side of the story.
“Didn’t lamer tell you?”
“Okay, if you’re going to date, you can’t call him that…” Olette pipes in with a frown.
“Also he didn’t explain it very well and we want to hear it from you anyways so, the stage is all yours, Almasy!” Pence chirps right after.
Seifer heaves another heavy sigh and Hayner has to wonder if he wasn’t expecting it to take this long for him to regret ever thinking of this plan.
“My bosses want me to get a girlfriend. I don’t want one. To get them to leave me alone, I told them I’m seeing someone. I’m using Hayner as that someone.” He’s a lot more direct this time round, hopefully having learned his lesson from earlier. It’s actually starting to make sense, even if Hayner still doesn’t understand why he needs him . Although, the thought of all the food and drinks he going to get soothe any annoyance he feels.
“The business trip?” Olette prompts while Roxas mumbles, “But why Hayner…?”
“We’re doing a four day trip to a hotel. They’re making it all inclusive for us and we’re allowed to bring our partners. My bosses were really insistent that I bring mine. Hence, Hayner.”
There’s several seconds of silence after this, broken only by the distant clack of the train moving serenely through the town.
“I still don’t get it.” Roxas admits, turning to Pence. Pence shrugs back at him. Seifer just groans.
“It’s not as complicated as you’re making it out to be.” He grumbles, and Hayner can see the agitation starting to build on his face. He’s not in the mood for them to start fighting again so he pipes in.
“Don’t worry about it, Seifer, Roxas will get over it eventually.” Roxas briefly looks like he’s going to argue, but he ends up nodding an agreement and Olette moves the meeting forward.
“So, Seifer! Take a seat. If you two are going to date, there are some things we need to work out.” Seifer eyes the folder that Olette brings out, almost from nowhere, suspiciously and a grin starts to grow in earnest on Hayner’s face. This is going to be fun .
“Like what?” Seifer asks and Olette actually rolls her eyes at him.
“Like, a lot of things! Who asked who out? When did you start dating? When did you realize your feelings? What do you call each other? What kind of PDA are you going to do? How do you handle being in a long distance relationship? Do you even know when Hayner’s birthday is?”
The only one to be overly surprised at Olette’s preparedness is Seifer. A lucky man who never paired with her for any school assignment. Hayner peeks over at the folder she had pulled out earlier and notices it actually has a list of all these questions, and more, with space beside them for the answer. A fill in the blank questionnaire. Classic.
“We started dating four months ago and I asked him out.” Seifer tells her, annoyed.
“Well, we didn’t know that!” Olette huffs back at him while Pence purses his lips in thought and mumbles, “He answered that really fast…”
“What about feelings? How did you two realize your feelings?” She continues, jabbing her pen in Seifer’s direction after jotting down the previous information. She only has one copy and Hayner hopes it’s his.
“Is that really important?”
“Yes! What if someone asks? The more prepared you are, the more they’ll buy our story! Hayner! Quick! When did you realize you liked Seifer?”
Hayner stumbles over several vowels as he tries to form a proper word, not expecting to be called on so suddenly. Pence and Roxas also gain a thoughtful look, most likely planning their own answer. Hayner wonders if this is turning into a school project.
“When he… asked me out?” Hayner offers. The reaction he gets is as cold and uninspired as his answer.
“Oh!” Roxas shouts, oddly excited. “What if you realized it when you were in the middle of a struggle match?”
“Classic!” is Pence’s excited response and the two of them turn to each other again, plotting out the details.
“Middle of the fight…”
“And suddenly the sunshine hit Seifer at a really nice angle!”
“And Hayner was like, ’Holy shit’ and that’s when he realized…”
“He was in love with his biggest rival!” Pence finishes and the two share a look of pride. It’s a good story, Hayner will admit, and one Hayner will definitely never admit to maybe sort of happening just once when he was sixteen.
(The sunlight hit Seifer at a really nice angle, all right?)
“Perfect!” Olette cheers, writing it down quickly in her loopy cursive. Hayner begins to wonder if he’s lost his right to say anything.
“But would Hayner actually tell a stranger that?”
“Hmm..” Olette ponders. “Probably not. But he can use his dumb, “When he asked me out.” for that. As long as he has the other story on the back burner, his is much more believable.”
“What about Seifer?” Pence asks, crossing his arms and dropping his head in his usual “thinking” posture. The other two make small humming sounds while Hayner rests his chin on his hand, leaning into his elbow. He’s never been very good at romance, so he’s happy to leave this aspect of the planning to his friends. There’s an odd sense of nostalgia to the scene, something warm and comforting, that Hayner lets himself bask in. Since starting university, they had all mostly split up due to differences in their majors, and joint school projects between them were now a thing of the past. Having something like this to join them back up is almost a blessing.
Not that Hayner would ever tell Seifer that.
“He probably fell in love when Hayner laughed at something stupid and was mad about it for three weeks.” Roxas says finally, throwing Hayner a grin that breaks him out of his daydreams. Hayner only manages to rolls his eyes before the other two are laughing and chiming in their agreement.
“I love it.” Olette says, writing it down. They seem to be filling the form in fast, but then Olette flips up the page and Hayner realizes with a small amount of dread that there were many more questions to follow.
“This is stupid, why are we doing this?” Seifer snaps, his earlier irritation rising. His still standing, arms eternally crossed. He almost seems embarrassed, but that’s not a look he wears often, so Hayner isn’t sure. Had it been anyone new to Seifer, they may have flinched back at his anger, but Hayner’s group, having experienced even higher levels of Seifer frustration, just stare back at him unbothered. Even a little annoyed.
“We told you, it’s to make sure this goes as smoothly as possible. You want them to believe you, don’t you?” There’s a level of command that Seifer can’t argue with in Olette’s tone, but he still demonstrates his hesitation with a muted grumble that he doesn’t bother to repeat when “sweetly” asked to. Eventually, Olette manages to wave at Seifer enough for him to sit down on a creaking, makeshift seat, and they’re back to business.
“Alright, Seifer, do you know when Hayner’s birthday is?”
“No.” He sighs. “Sometime in March?”
“No, that’s Pence’s.”
“Seifer knows my birthday?”
“Hayner’s birthday in June 30th, making him a Cancer.”
“Is that important?” There’s a small furrow to his brow and he shoots Hayner a questioning look. All Hayner can give back is his hands thrown up in a shrug. He never paid much attention to astrology. Although it’s fun to blame bouts of bad luck on made up planets.
“Yes!” Olette looks offended at Seifer’s ignorance. “Couples always check to see if their zodiacs are compatible!”
“They do?” This time it’s Roxas who shows disbelief, mostly aided by him constantly forgetting his own zodiac, much less bothering to remember his friend’s or partner’s.
“ Yes !”
“I thought that was blood types…” Roxas wears a puzzled pout at this as Pence cocks his head to the side in contemplation.
“I think they do that too.”
“Do you know your blood type?” Roxas asks, turning to him.
“Yeah! It’s—“
“Focus! Hayner, when’s Seifer’s birthday?” Olette demands, determined to return to the matter at hand.
“December 22nd.” Hayner rattles off, bored and unfazed. He jerks to attention when he notices about four different sets of eyes boring into him. “What?”
“How do you know that?” Seifer scowls. He’s wearing the “maybe embarrassed, probably just a new form of anger” expression again and Hayner privately makes it his secret mission to figure out what exactly this stupid new facial expression of his means.
“I’m good at dates?” He offers weakly when Seifer’s glare remains unbroken.
There’s another stretch of silence that triggers a defensive action in Hayner, as he crosses his arms and moves to devalue the knowledge.
“It’s not that big a deal. I know my third grade teacher’s birthday too. And my landlord’s!”
Thankfully, his group had always been pretty good at distracting themselves, and Roxas quickly spins the conversation in a new direction.
“December 22nd… What does that make Seifer then? Zodiac wise, I mean.”
“Uh…” Pence contemplates briefly before pulling out his phone and quickly typing. “Let’s see… A Capricorn!”
“Are they actually a good match?”
“Let me check… Oh. Wow. Actually it says they’re almost a perfect match. ‘Their shared passions, sense of responsibility, and morality make Capricorn and Cancer’s a highly compatible relationship.’”
Another stretch of silence. Hayner pointedly stares at anything but the people sharing the room with him wondering if he actively refuses to accept the warmth pricking his cheeks if that’ll make the blush any less noticeable. Eventually, Roxas looks up from Pence’s phone to stare at Seifer, face almost blank.
“If you two actually start dating, does this mean you’ll stop hogging the best beach spot and share it with us?”
“… I’ll think about it.” Seifer replies slowly. Hayner can’t make out much of his mood from his tone, and still refuses to look at him, but it almost seems like the man is just as flustered as he is.
“Sweet!” Roxas cheers, either ignorant or disinterested in both of their discomfort, and the stilted mood is quickly washed away by idle chatter as Roxas and Pence move to investigate the duo’s full compatibility.
Olette seems content to let them run wild with it for a bit, filling in more blanks on her sheet. She whacks Hayner after he leans too far in trying to read over her shoulder and Seifer actually gives him something akin to a sympathetic expression when Hayner turns to him looking like a kicked puppy.
The rest of the meeting goes relatively smoothly. Olette fills in the sheet as methodically as she once did for their chemistry homework and after much prompting finally soothes Hayner’s worry by telling him she is going home to scan it and text it to the group. (“Seifer, I’ll need your number so we can make a group chat.” “ Why .” “Just give her your stupid number!”) Hayner’s not entirely sure why everyone needs it, but after witnessing the level five glare Olette whips at Seifer after he complains just a few words too much, he decides he doesn’t need to ask.
There’s only one major hiccup, and that’s when the topic of PDA comes up, and that’s only because Roxas gets a smile far too mischievous to mean anything good and asks, “Are they gonna have to practice kissing?”
“Why would we practice —“ Hayner starts, embarrassed frustration taking over his tone, but Olette saves him quite quickly, shushing him with a wave of her hand.
“I don’t think we need to worry about that. Neither Seifer or Hayner seem the type to be too showy, especially if this is a newer relationship. As long as you two stand close together and lean into each other every once in a while, I think you’ll be fine.”
“That’s true. You’re already pretty familiar with each other too. And, Hayner, you’re pretty affectionate with friends, so just do that. It’s not like they’ll know the difference.” Pence continues.
“I am?” Hayner asks in soft disbelief, turning to his earlier betrayer, Roxas, who nods in confirmation.
“Just no fighting!” Olette says suddenly, jabbing her pen in both Hayner and Seifer’s direction. “It’ll either blow your cover, or they’ll try and break the relationship off themselves, seeing it as unhealthy!”
“But Seifer and I always fight.” Hayner whines, unwilling to let this part of their relationship go. Playful arguments with Seifer were fun, when the man didn’t finish them with a punch to the face.
“There’s a difference between teasing and breaking each other’s noses, Hayner. Do the first one if you have to, but if you actually start a brawl, you’re going to ruin it.”
There’s a very strict “no nonsense” vibe coming from his friend, so Hayner doesn’t bother dredging up the energy to argue anymore.
“You heard the boss.” Hayner says with a sigh, before realizing he could use this to his advantage and turning to look at Seifer with a grin. “That means you gotta listen to everything I say and do whatever I tell you to.”
Hayner’s expecting a scowl or some semblance of a frown, but Seifer has apparently relaxed into their group and returns Hayner’s gaze with a sort of smile, leaning in closer from his spot across from Hayner.
“Of course, dear.” He says, complacent and almost housewife-y.
“Really?” Hayner replies, eyes comically wide.
“You fucking wish, Chickenwuss.” Seifer’s smile morphs back into a smirk and he takes advantage of his long reach, pushing at Hayner’s forehead and fully knocking him off balance and to the floor.
“No insults as nicknames!” Olette shouts, but it’s lost to the loud laughter that soon echoes within the Usual Spot’s walls, Roxas and Pence unable to have any sort of pity for the squawking mass that was their best friend.
They’re making their way to the train station, Hayner having offered to walk Seifer back after he told need he needed to return to Radiant Garden, and they’re just nearing the bottom of Station Hill when Hayner turns to Seifer to ask something that had been bothering him since he thought of it mid shift.
“Aren’t you worried about them thinking you’re gay? Or like… finding out?” Hayner isn’t sure of Seifer’s orientation, not that it matters all that much to him. Hayner had spent most of high school believing in his own straightness and it only took two parties in university to realize his childhood lie.
(While he still thinks girls are great, he’s much happier getting his girl friends girlfriends, rather than dating them himself.)
He had admitted to it, rather blandly, in the middle of a video game night with his group and they had all returned with, “Wow, samesies.” before what Hayner had actually said had clicked in and they’d paused the game with, “Wait, what? Seriously?”
They were, of course, extremely supportive, with both Roxas and Olette later admitting to probably not being completely straight themselves and Pence going, slightly horrified, “Wait… Am I the token Straight?”
(They all assured him they loved him just the same.)
Seifer brushes off the question, suddenly takes great interest in something under one of his fingernails.
“Wouldn’t have asked you if I cared about that.” He replies lowly, biting at the nail. Hayner just rolls his eyes, surprised at himself for thinking Seifer would actually open up to him.
“You should probably just tell them. It’d probably stop the whole ‘you need a girlfriend’ thing.” Seifer cocks a brow at him. “Well. They might just switch to, ‘you need a boyfriend!’ but at least you’d like the options better.”
Seifer actually laughs at this and gives Hayner a smile softer than he’s used to. There’s an odd skip to Hayner’s heart that catches his breath and before the mood can settle in anymore than it has Hayner forces out his own laugh and throws his hands behind his head.
“Although, from the sounds of it, they’re two seconds from dragging you to a fortune teller or some kind of love guru. So. Good luck with that.”
“I thought you were my perfect match?” Seifer jokes. “Don’t tell me you’re breaking up with me already.”
“What?” Hayner stutters before catching the teasing look on Seifer’s face and scowling. “Well, no, I mean… Fuck off!”
Seifer laughs, one Hayner knows better the previous expressions, and shoves him half into the closest building to them. Hayner retaliates with his own shove, that he accidentally times perfectly, as it causes Seifer to stumble and fall, hitting the pavement hard . There’s a brief moment of silence, both of them too stunned to speak, before Hayner erupts into a loud bout of laughter, utterly delighted.
“You…! You…!” He tries to speak, but his words can only weakly break through the gasps he takes as his laughter continues.
“You’re gonna pay for that, Chickenwuss!” Seifer shouts, without any real malice, and Hayner gives a small shout before darting up the hill, keeping himself just five paces in front of his rival.
It feels weird sending Seifer off, almost too familiar for what their relationship has always been, but when Seifer smiles at Hayner shouting, “I’ll see you next week!” as Seifer boards the train to Radiant Garden, something begins to shift in Hayner.
He and Seifer had never really hated each other in high school... Maybe this is their chance to finally become friends.
(By… you know, being fake boyfriends. No one ever said friendship was easy.)
His phone buzzes, repeatedly, not long after the train fades from view and Hayner pulls it out and watches the message stream in.
Olette sent : Welcome to the group chat!! I’m sending a picture of the booklet we filled in today. Remember to memorize everything, especially what’s connected to you!
Olette sent : Hayner, you’re weirdly good on Seifer trivia so don’t worry about that. Seifer, don’t forget Hayner’s birthday.
Pence sent : 👌
Pence sent : also my birthday is March 4th Seifer, don’t forget that either
Roxas sent : hey hey if its not claimed can I be the one who threatened Seifer like you break my friends heart I break your face ???
Hayner rolls his eyes at this, but the smile he has is fond as he quickly types his own response.
Hayner sent : Roxas, we all know that would be Olette. Come on.
Roxas sent : damn u right
Seifer sent : I’m feeling like I should be less surprised you’re all so invested.
Roxas sent : seifer u date one of us you date of us all man
Roxas sent : also my birthday is april 20th
Pence : lol you’re both earth signs
Roxas sent : NO
Olette sent : Mine is October 16th!
Seifer sent : I’m not memorizing all of these.
Roxas sent : -1 on the boyfriend scale
Pence sent : Actually Roxas and Seifer are super compatible too
Roxas sent : please stop looking this stuff up now pence im regretting it
Seifer sent : I’m shutting off my phone.
Olette sent : Have a safe trip!
Roxas sent : 👋
Pence sent : 🎉
Hayner sent : ✌️
Hayner closes his phone down as well, knowing the conversation had come to a natural conclusion. Turning on his heel, he exits the station, pausing outside to watch a local train slowly do its loop high against the town’s sunlit sky. He’s running through a small list of things he’ll have to do in order to complete his end of the bargain - time off requests and the pleading of notes for missed classes - but he’s oddly unbothered by the work and genuinely excited for the weekend ahead.
Besides, this definitely isn’t a romcom and no matter how much Roxas jokes, neither Seifer nor Hayner would be in love with the other at the end of the whole adventure.
Probably.
… Hopefully.