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Stargazing late at night seems to be your latest favourite thing.
Drinking hot chocolate while sitting on a swing in the back garden of Taehyung’s house. It was almost a guilty pleasure, waiting for him to fall asleep next to you first, his light snoring being a signal that you were able to go outside and stare at the stars shining just above you. Sometimes you wished that these stars were able to help you become one with Taehyung.
You were the caregiver, along with Taehyung the dad, of his two kids. Taeyong and Taelyn. Two bundles of sunshine in your life. Taehyung indeed had a hard life; finding out that his soon-to-be-wife completely disappeared from his life after one night of leaving the two kids alone. Kids were supposed to be after marriage, he remembers her say. But he couldn’t leave the children. He tried hard to look everyday, giving up after two months, the two children questioning him where their mother was and his simple answer was that she was just gone. His life was shattered.
Until Taehyung realised he had you. His best friend since diapers.
Inseperable—one word to describe the two of you. When he had asked you to help him raise and look after his children, you couldn’t say no. They were now close with you as much as you were close with them. What was disappointing to you was that you love him. You’ve loved Taehyung after the two of you finished college. You fell hard for him, only for you to find out that he was getting engaged. It was devastating to see his state after his what was supposed to be, wife, left him. He wouldn’t eat. He wouldn’t give up looking for her. He was too upset to do anything except whatever that included his children.
Taehyung doesn’t think he’s thanked you enough.
You were always bright, having quite a lot of college friends. Smart, too. You were up for the challenge to help him raise his children. Despite you always saying to him that he needs to stop thanking you, Taehyung still continues it. Some people used to think that you two were high school sweethearts as you two only became closer during college and it was hard to let the feeling go because you will only remain as best friends. Unlike you, more on the shyer side, Taehyung had met seven people, now his best friends. He was popular during college. An absolute art nerd but you loved it.
If only the stars knew how you felt for Taehyung.
“Y/N, please do my hair.” Taelyn frowned. The two cute yet evil kids were honestly sick of calling you by your own name. They haven’t managed to tell you or their own dad just in case they’d make a big fool out of themselves. They’ve unfortunately only seen their mother once, Taeyong being three and Taelyn being two. But Taeyong and Taelyn saw you as their mother; their caregivers, their mother figure. They trusted you a lot. Having inside jokes to keeping playful secrets from Taehyung told you enough that they loved you. They’d drag you to a Mother’s Day occasion that happened at school. Now, Taeyong is ten and Taelyn is nine.
You wouldn’t deny that they were your weakness. They were loved so much, especially by Taehyung. He had spoiled them, actually dressing their children up in luxury brands such as Gucci or Louis Vuitton, not giving any fucks if questioning looks were given to him in the street.
“Dutch braids?”
“Yes please.” Taelyn nodded. “Pst, Y/N.”
“What’s up, sweetheart?” You question, running your hands through her hair as you part it in the middle and begin to braid. Taelyn hesitates and sighs.
“Do.. Do you love dad?”
“Of course I do.” You smile. “He’s my best friend.” How were children, like Taelyn and Taeyong, already knowing about love? How relationships work? It made you confused, probably they’ve been learning that in school.
“Best friend?” Taelyn knew that you two weren’t completely a couple. Sometimes Taehyung’s gestures as buying you expensive gifts—jewellery to clothes in various luxury brands, feeding you food playfully to even kissing your cheek made the little ones question if you two were really friends. “Will you stay that way?”
“For the best. Your dad went through hard times.” You know her intentions. “Why? What’s with the sudden question Taelyn?”
She shrugs, “Because everyone thinks you’re my mummy.. My teacher complimented you when you saw what I did in class and she really liked your dress.”
“Well,” You sigh, “Oh god—why do you wanna know?” You laugh. “It’s just difficult. I don’t want to stress your dad out more. I think us staying as best friends but me helping out to be a part of your parent life will stay the same.” Tying off one side of her hair, she huffs.
“Tell me if you change your mind.” She giggles. “You.. You just make my daddy very happy. He loves you too.”
“I know.”
You didn’t know if the last ‘I love you’s that you and Taehyung have been saying to each other were meant in a romantic way. Or in a ‘thank you’ way. And it sucked.
“Y/N! Can I have waffles please?” The little boy pouts, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “I’m hungry.”
“Okay, don’t wake up your dad. Let him sleep in, he’s been out all night.” You said, tying off the last side of Taelyn’s hair. Picking up Taeyong in your arms as he opens the freezer to get out the toaster waffles, you almost make him do everything himself with adult supervision. Taelyn continues to eat the plate of scrambled eggs as Taeyong sits in front of her, both of them talking about how hard their arithmetic maths test was last Friday.
“Morning!” Taehyung says in a cheerful way, despite his eyes half shut and his currently bright blue hair in a bird’s nest. “Morning love.” He plants a kiss on your temple.
“What are we doing today?” You ask and Taehyung makes himself waffles too. The three of them shrug and you laugh, noticing that they were eating in a similar way. Taelyn and Taeyong definitely got their looks from their dad, oddly not really having genes from their mother. Probably the only thing noticeable and close was Taelyn having a mole on her cheek which her mother had too.
“Can we eat burgers and ice cream for lunch?”
“Yeah!” Taeyong cheered. You leaned on the counter as you watched them all eat while sipping your mug of coffee.
“Sure.” Taehyung says, “Anything for my children. Do you want to pick up some games to play tonight?” Earning more cheers, Taehyung pinches the cheek of his daughter.
“I’ll probably have an early night while you three have your game night.”
“No, Y/N,” Taelyn frowned, “You have to join us! I beat daddy at Monopoly every time!” Knowing that was the truth, you chuckle lightly.
“I know. But I might meet up with a friend tomorrow morning.” You scrunch your nose, pinching the cheeks of the two pouting faces. “Y/N.” The little kids whine.
“Hey, leave Y/N alone you two,” Taehyung says, “You see her everyday.”
“I know. But we love her, daddy.” Taelyn cries. “Please Y/N? Just tonight!”
“How about a movie night instead so you two won’t sleep that late?” You suggest, “Movie and game night.” Taehyung winks at you.
-
Taehyung had started to snore next to you.
It was successful getting the kids in bed just before eleven, shortly after you and Taehyung having a conversation about moving their plans of burgers and ice cream tomorrow. The four of you had a Harry Potter movie marathon while playing Monopoly, of course Taelyn beating her dad leaving Taehyung in last place. The shared bed between you and Taehyung was never cold, you didn’t mind when he mentioned sharing a bed. In fact— you enjoyed it. His arms wrapped around your waist, some mornings you wanting to wake up just to clean the living room, but he stops you by muttering to stay next to him for a few more minutes.
Your footsteps might have woken the whole house up as you cursed. Cursing and avoiding tears as you stubbed your toe on the door— because that shit hurt — you make yourself hot chocolate quietly and walk through the conservatory and sit outside, sitting on the swing while sipping quietly. Admiring the night sky and staring at the stars, you sigh.
“Sh.. It’s okay, Tae.” You let the heartbroken boy sob into your arms. He came to you in seconds after realising that his, what was supposed to be, wife was gone. He had given Taeyong and Taelyn into their uncles at Seokjin’s place, because he needed time alone. With you.
“What did I do wrong?” You knew Taehyung was insecure of himself. Many years took work for you to help him not become insecure and compare everyone around him. “She.. She just left. I thought she loved Yong and Lyn. She didn’t want them before marriage but fuck, Y/N, I..”
His words are cut off by sniffing, “I’m sorry..”
“No, it’s okay.” You run his hands over his red hair, specks of his natural dark brown, almost black, hair appearing. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You know that. But let me tell you that you’ll be one good father to Taeyong and Taelyn.”
“It’s just.. Why did she go so suddenly? With no traces?" He paused, sighing, " Thank you Y/N.” Taehyung rests his head onto your lap, “I.. I love you.”
“I love you more. You know I’m here for you always.” You whisper into his hair, kissing his head lightly.
-
Exhausted.
You’ve been playing hide and seek with the five and six year olds with Jimin for ages. Taehyung had left to meet up with Hoseok for a bit, and Jimin offered sweetly to help you out with taking care of the unpredictable children Taehyung had. They were exactly as hyper and enthusiastic as their own dad.
“That was one workout,” You huff onto the couch, Taeyong and Taelyn now watching High School Musical on the television. Jimin chuckles next to you, “Are you seriously not with Taehyung yet?”
“What? No.” You choke. Of course you had been crushing on him on decades. Not like he would notice, you two were best friends. It almost felt wrong to be with him. He was going through a lot— the last thing you needed on his mind was to stress about how you felt for him. But all you wanted for him was happiness.
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Y/N. He might have just went through something but you make him feel happy.”
“It’s fine if I’m not recognised to him that way.” You mumble, playing with your fingers. “Taeyong, do you want chicken nuggets?”
You were so lost in your thoughts that you don’t even notice the little girl standing with her blanket around her. Taelyn has always been the one closer to you, although you have a soft spot for the both of them. She seemed to talk to you about school issues or whatever to you rather than Taehyung for some reason. “Y/N?”
“Hey angel, what’s up?” You frown as she sits next to you, head resting on your lap. You play with her hair for a bit as you both stare at the sky in silence. The stars brighten up a bit more. Cheesy, but the stars reminded you of Taehyung. When you took the opportunity, when he slept peacefully, you’d examine his features, every small feature on his skin. The way he had a small mole. The way his skin was soft, clean, yet mall scars from an accidental injury when he was young appear. You admired his eyes, whenever you’d look at them, he was holding stars in his eyes. The whole universe.
“I couldn’t sleep. Why are you down here?”
Instead of scolding her, you smile at her and grip your mug. “You should be asleep, though. I’m here because I stargaze at night when all of you are asleep.”
“I’m sorry,” She apologises, “I know I should be. But I couldn’t help to see that you weren’t next to daddy.”
You chuckle, “So. How’s school?”
“I think it’s okay. I got nine out of ten on my mental maths test but I really want a chocolate bar so I will work harder.”
“What did you get wrong?” You laugh.
“Eight times six.” You couldn’t help but giggle, “Taelyn, that’s pretty easy.”
“I know! I accidentally put eighty eight.” She frowns. The two of you seem to stay in silence, continuing to stare at the stars. You remember that Taehyung sometimes sat on the rooftop of his house, telling you that the stars in the night sky would never fail to be beautiful—soon you ended up sitting on your balcony watching him. Then the both of you would say the same thing. How glad that he had you, how glad you had him. It was as if it was the stars making you say the same thing.
“Y/N?”
You hummed.
“How would you think dad feel if I called you mum?” Taken aback by her question, you stopped observing the stars. Your gaze was fixed on the girl lying her head on her lap, staring at the conservatory. Gosh, she was so mature for her age.
“I.. I don’t know.” You mumbled, “I think my name would be better. I’m not your real mother, Taelyn.”
“I’ve been calling you by your name for years.” She frowned. “But.. In my eyes you are my mummy.. You raised Taeyong and I for many years and I barely remember what my real mummy looks like.”
“I know.” Was all you could say, stunned by what she was saying. “It’s for the best. I know I say that all the time but I’m not here to stress your dad out more. I’m here to help him. To help raise you two.”
Taelyn doesn’t seem to say anything after. You take a deep breath and sip your hot chocolate and continue to have a fixed gaze on the stars, until realising the soft snoring below you came from Taelyn. Chuckling as you finished the hot chocolate, picking up the little girl delicately in your arms with the mug balancing on your fingers. You placed the mug in the sink while you carried Taelyn, snoring on your shoulder as you patted her back.
“Night night… Y/N…”
“Goodnight, angel.” You kissed the top of her forehead.
A moment of panic rushed through Taehyung’s mind when the left side of the bed was cold. He knew you were probably downstairs as he yawned, heading downstairs, greeting his children eating their toast. “Where’s Y/N?”
“On the swing.” Taelyn answered, opening the fridge. He chuckled lightly, opening the conservatory door as you sipped your coffee. “Heya.”
“Morning.” You reply, scooting over as he sat down next to you. “What are you doing out here?”
“Enjoying the breeze.” You said, “So, are we having burgers and ice cream for lunch?” Taehyung laughs before nodding. He turns to you as you flushed red, turning away from him and looking at the sky. He thinks about something.
The way the wind lightly blew on your hair. The way you smiled feeling the breeze. The way you quietly sipped your coffee.
You’ve always been with him for ages and he’s surprised you’re not tired of him. You’ve always helped him when he needed it. You were there for him when sometimes uncalled for, there for him because you knew he was suffering. Taehyung finds himself lost in you; you stuck with him because you made promises as children to stay forever together always. “I love you.”
Your eyes turned to him. “I love you too, Tae.”
I love you more, Y/N.
-
“Can I take a picture of you two?” Taelyn smiled. You and Taehyung were sat next together in the booth, Taelyn and Taeyong playing with their Nintendo Switch. You were about to pick up your burger before feeling your ears turn hot. “Family memories,” Taelyn finished.
“That’s so sweet of you.” You smile at the little girl, who proudly looked at her dad. Taehyung pinched her cheek. A phone was held up in her hand as Taehyung was quick to plant a kiss on your cheek, Taelyn continuously taking photos before nudging Taeyong for a family picture. “Dad, Y/N doesn’t look like she’s having fun.”
Sipping your coke, “I bet I look ugly.”
Your face crinkled while Taehyung gave you the kiss. “Yong, eat your burger or I’ll take your Nintendo Switch away.”
“Sorry Y/N.” You giggled as he did listen and put it down. Something Taehyung found was that his children listened to your ‘punishments’ quicker and easier than his. “Yongie, want my fries?”
Taeyong nodded, gladly taking Taehyung’s fries.
Once the four of you finished, Taehyung paid the bill and found an ice cream truck near the park. Taeyong had teased Taelyn about going on the slide and swings, but Taeyong joined in anyways. “Y/N could you hold my ice cream?” Taeyong pouted, “I don’t want it flying off the swing, please.”
“Sure, Yongie.” You pinched his cheek, following his younger sister and sat next to Taehyung. For some reason the two of you wouldn’t talk as much, not knowing why. Taehyung’s heart ached whilst he watched you eat your ice cream— his feelings were confusing. He wanted answers to himself.
“How’s your evening going?” You question, breaking the silence. All you wanted to do was hold him tight in your arms. Tell him everything was fine. “What’s on your mind, Tae?”
“Nothing,” Taehyung said, showing his boxy smile. “Just wanting to see sunset. How about you?”
“The kids,” You mumble, not knowing if you want to question him about what Taelyn told you the other night. “They really look like you. Act like you too.”
“Yongie gets most from me,” You laugh at him. “I.. Never mind.”
“No, go ahead. What is it?”
Taelyn told me she wants me to be her mum.
Surely, you thought, Taehyung would absolutely hate you—kick you out of the house and never want to see you again. You think he would refuse the idea and just raise the kids himself if you were ever to go somewhere. “No, it’s nothing, don’t worry.”
He pouts, “Come on. You’re hiding something.”
“I’m not.” You chuckle, gulping. “It’s nothing. Not a big deal.”
Taehyung places the glasses on his forehead, and frowns at you. You’re worried because he was able to read you so well after knowing each other for long. Biting your lips, a habit you did when you seemed anxious was notable to Taehyung, “Why won’t you tell me?”
“It’s stupid. Let’s forget about it.”
-
The warm mug of hot chocolate already went cold.
Groaning, you can’t be bothered to reheat it. Too much effort to walk and open doors.
The stars seem beautiful tonight, you note. You sip the unsatisfying, cold hot chocolate and jump hearing giggles from behind. Turning around from the swing you’re faced with the two kids, Taeyong holding his Pikachu stuffed toy which you had given to him, a pink bath robe wrapped around Taelyn. “Hey, you two. It’s eleven, go to sleep.”
“We can’t sleep.” Taeyong spoke, “C-Can we sit?”
“Of course, Yongie.” Taeyong sits next to you, lying his head on your lap as Taelyn sits on the other side. “What do you do out here, Y/N?”
“Something stupid.” You chuckle, “Stargazing. I look at the stars and just admire how pretty they are.”
Taeyong nods, “Why?”
“Because, I can’t sleep.” You laugh. “You know your dad used to do the same thing. He’d sit on his roof and talk to me about the stars.” Taeyong snorts, “You know dad paints the night stars. He’s really into Van Gogh these days.”
“Oh really?”
“Having fun without me?” You hear Taehyung’s voice. The three of you turn around, the kids expecting a scold from their dad, “What are you doing?”
“Helping Y/N stargaze.” Taelyn giggled, “Didn’t you do this too, daddy?” Taehyung showed his boxy smile as you patted the seat next to you, Taelyn crawling on your lap and Taeyong sat up. “Yeah. I did. It was nice.”
His heart was pounding.
Why did he feel so nervous? His palms felt so clammy, as he licked his lips sitting next to you.
The four of you laughed and giggled, eventually making the kids tired. Taeyong was sat on your left thigh, sleeping on your shoulder while Taelyn’s legs were propped up on Taehyung, sleeping on your thigh. The conversations were about Taehyung’s passion for art nowadays, how you and Taehyung became best friends. How the two of you loved admiring stars.
Taehyung’s heart fluttered, when he glanced at you staring up the sky. “Star nerd.”
You giggle, making him blush. Why.. Why did he feel like this? He never felt like this around you in decades. You smiled at him, explaining that their presence helps you feel calm. How bright they were tonight.
They seem brighter tonight, in Taehyung’s eyes and that hits him—
He’s in love with you.
His best friend since diapers. His best friend who gave him everything. His best friend who helped him through it all. His best friend, who he’s in love with.
“I love you.” He suddenly spoke quietly.
“I love you too,” You hummed.
“No, as in.. I love you.” Taehyung feels uneasy when he says it. He begins to frantically search for words and you look at him worriedly, “I.. I never realised it before. I love you, Y/N. I want to spend my life with you and Taelyn and Taeyong forever.”
You smile, “Tae..”
“I know. I don’t think this is right,” Taehyung mumbles, “But.. I should have known sooner. You helped me through tough times in my life and I never thanked you for that.”
“You did. I told you many times that you need to stop thanking me,” You lightly chuckle. Taehyung licks his lips, nibbling on the bottom lip, “I’ve never done anything for you, so let me do this.”
You’re taken aback when he leans closer to you, mindful of the two children in the way. His lips have a hint of strawberry; he doesn’t feel nervous anymore. Nothing seems to stop the two of you, “I love you. I love you so much, Y/N.”
“I love you too.”
This time it wasn’t the stars shining bright. It was only you and Taehyung—kissing underneath the beautiful night sky full of twinkling stars. Unlike what you thought, Taehyung was sure that the night sky wasn’t beautiful because of the stars, but because the two of you. It’s almost a relief that he realised that he was in love with you. “You know that you’re more beautiful than the stars, Y/N.”
You got me
I dream while looking at you
I got you.