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The music playing from the speakers on Thrawn’s desk was soft, and the lights in the office were dim, the main source of light being the images holoprojected on the walls. Thrawn’s favorite pieces of artwork, and a few holovids to create the illusion of candles flickering. Fire and candles weren’t exactly up to safety protocol on a ship, so Thrawn had improvised. A blanket was spread out on the floor for the two of them to sit on.
But Eli wasn’t paying attention to any of that. He was completely focused on the Chiss himself. The way his blue-black hair glinted in the dim light of the blue holoprojector. The way his glowing red eyes studied the art on the walls, soaking in every detail they possibly could. The way the tension he usually held in his shoulders was gone as he completely relaxed.
He watched as Thrawn finished the remainder of the wine in his glass before refilling it. He caught Eli’s eyes on him, a small smile touching his lips. Without a word, he held the wine bottle out some. A silent offer to refill Eli’s own glass.
Tilting his head back, he finished what was left in his glass, then held it out to Thrawn. He took a sip from the glass before setting it aside, glancing at the remains of their dinner before shifting his gaze back to Thrawn. He didn’t realize he had started staring once more until the man himself spoke up.
“Is there something specific on your mind, Eli?” Thrawn questioned, his voice smooth and quiet as usual. Hearing Thrawn speak his personal name was enough to nearly make Eli melt right on the spot. Luckily, his self-control was better than that, if only marginally.
Eli took a moment to gather his thoughts. He knew Thrawn would likely be able to tell exactly what he was thinking simply by reading his body language, but he liked watching Thrawn’s minuscule reactions to hearing Eli speak his thoughts. Sometimes, he could even manage to get Thrawn to blush.
“You are,” Eli answered vaguely at first, his eyes focused on Thrawn’s. “The way you do things, like way you study your artwork. The natural beauty that you hold, whether you recognize it or not. How you can make me weak in the knees without even trying.”
Another small smile appeared on Thrawn’s lips, this one only slightly bigger than the last. “You flatter me.”
“If I don’t do it, who else will?” Eli countered, a smile of his own appearing on his lips.
They lapsed back into a comfortable silence, simply enjoying one another’s company. After a few moments, Eli moved across the blanket, lying down. He places his head in Thrawn’s lap, staring up at him. Their eyes meet, and they share another smile. Once Eli got settled, Thrawn began to run his fingers through Eli’s hair. The action made Eli hum contently, his eyes fluttering shut.
Several long, comfortable minutes had passed before either of them spoke again. This time, it was Eli who broke the silence.
“Do you know how to dance?” He inquired, his eyes opening.
The look on Thrawn’s face was curious as he nodded slightly. “Somewhat. Though I will admit I am not nearly as graceful as I would like.”
“We’re alone, it doesn’t matter how graceful we are.” Eli commented, getting to his feet. He offered a hand to Thrawn, helping the man to his feet once he had taken it. He led Thrawn to be more centered in the room, pulling him close.
Thrawn placed his hands upon Eli’s waist, and Eli’s hands rested lightly against Thrawn’s chest. And then they began to move, not following any particular pattern. Just swaying back and forth in time with each other, and with the slow, soft music still playing.
Eli shifted closer to Thrawn, resting his head against his chest, careful to avoid stepping on his feet. Thrawn’s arms snaked around Eli’s waist completely, holding him securely to him. He rested his chin atop Eli’s head, giving Eli the sense of safety and security. The feeling that nothing and no one could ever touch them as long as they were together and in each other’s arms. They were untouchable by the world around them.
Thrawn made a sound in the back of his throat. Eli looked up, a question on the tip of his tongue. A question he never got the chance to speak.
As he lifted his head, Thrawn’s lips caught Eli’s in a soft and tender kiss. Eli kissed him back, one of his hands shifting to rest at the nape of Thrawn’s neck.
They broke apart, their foreheads pressed together as they looked at one another. Then Thrawn’s lips were back on Eli’s, drawing him back into a slow kiss.
Eli’s fingers toyed with the ends of Thrawn’s short, silky hair, their slow dance coming to a gradual halt until they were no longer moving, instead standing in the middle of the room, locked in their embrace. Everything within Eli igniting as their lips moved together in soft, sweet, slow kisses.
Thrawn tasted of the sweet wine they had been drinking with dinner. Eli parted his lips, deepening the kiss at a leisurely pace, savoring the feeling of the moment. A moment he wished could never end. He never wanted to let go of Thrawn, and he never wanted Thrawn to let go of him.
He felt Thrawn’s lips move off his own, beginning to work their way down his jaw. Eli tilted his head to the side, his eyes closed as his breathing grew heavy, his body aching with desire. He felt Thrawn’s teeth nip at his ear, murmuring something unintelligible.
“Hmm?” He hummed, pressing himself up against Thrawn as much as he could.
He felt Thrawn’s body vibrate with a soft chuckle. “I said,” the Chiss murmured, his voice rough. “It’s time to wake up, my love.”
Eli frowned. He was awake, wasn’t he? The air in the room seemed to drop several degrees all at once. Goosebumps crawled across Eli’s skin, a shiver rippling through his body.
“Wake up.” Thrawn repeated.
This time, Eli opened his eyes and pulled back to look at Thrawn. Immediately, he jerked away from him, panic welling up in his chest. The holoprojector lights had changed from a soft, brilliant blue to a harsh, blood red color. But that wasn’t the only thing that had startled him…
Thrawn was standing there, but there was something very wrong. The red glow of his eyes had died, and his eye sockets were sunken and dark. His blue skin had become more of a sickly purple-grey color with a waxy look, his cheekbones protruding far too much. He looked gaunt and skeletal.
He looked dead.
The nightmarish version of Thrawn grabbed Eli’s shoulders, his grip surprisingly strong. He shook Eli once, hard.
“Wake. Up.” Thrawn growled, his voice no longer silky smooth.
Eli tore himself out of Thrawn’s grip, stumbling with the sudden momentum and falling to the ground with a hard thud.
--
Abruptly, Eli awoke with the short-lived sensation of falling. He was jarred completely awake when his shoulder suddenly slammed against the hard metal floor with a grunt. That was going to leave a bruise.
For a moment, he just laid there, breathing heavily as he tried to gather his thoughts. Cold sweat poured down his back, his cheeks stained with tears he hadn’t realized were falling.
“Commander Ivant?” A voice called from outside his door with the telltale sound of the lock disengaging. Eli jerked himself from his thoughts as he quickly scrambled to his feet, wiping the tears off his face with the edge of his sleeve. Just as the door slid open, he turned his back to whoever it might be to keep his face hidden. “Is everything alright in here? It sounded like there was a commotion.”
“Everything is fine, thank you, Lieutenant.” Eli answered, forcing his voice to come out stable and smooth as he worked his mouth around the Cheunh words. He recognized the voice now. It was Lieutenant Kirnu, who was likely freshly off his shift. “Carry on.”
There seemed to be a hesitation, but Kirnu knew better than to disobey a superior officer's orders. Even if that superior was an alien. “Yes, sir.”
There was the sound of Eli’s door sliding shut once again, and he let his shoulders sag. He stumbled through the darkness over to the ‘fresher connected to his quarters. Once inside, he flicked the light on.
The face staring back at him in the mirror was pale and sickly. He gripped the edges of the sink, trying to regain control of his emotions. He was usually pretty good at keeping a handle on them, especially after joining and training among the Chiss. But that nightmare had shaken him to his core. He knew he wouldn’t be able to rid himself of the image of Thrawn appearing dead for a very long time. The sight seemed to have burned itself into his mind.
He switched on the water in the shower, peeling off his nightclothes and underwear before stepping in. The cold water was a shock at first, but it helped clear his mind further. He just stood there beneath the stream, letting the water run over his body.
No one had heard from Thrawn in two years.
After the Chimaera and the Steadfast parted, the Chimaera had returned to Lothal. The planet where Thrawn had been outsmarted and defeated. The Ascendancy had only been able to gather limited intel, but the outcome of the standoff that had occurred was pretty clear; Thrawn, Ezra Bridger, the Chimaera, and its crew were all missing. And they had been for two years now.
There had been conversations within the Ascendancy about sending a party out search for Mitth’raw’nuruodo, but with the Grysk threat escalating with every passing day, the task had been put off. It would likely never happen. Most of those within the Ascendancy believed he was dead now.
Eli wasn’t sure what to believe. The only thing he could think about was how the situation might have been different if he had been there. If only he hadn’t come to the Ascendancy at all. If only he had stayed on the Chimaera and performed his duties as an Imperial commander. Maybe he would have been able to spot something Thrawn hadn’t and prevented this whole fiasco. Or maybe he would’ve been launched into deep space along with Thrawn and the rest of the Chimaera’s crew. There was no way of knowing for sure. All he knew was that he couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being at Thrawn’s side in his most desperate hour.
The old Basic saying came to the front of his mind, taunting him.
‘All good things must come to an end.’
With the news of Thrawn’s defeat and disappearance, it seemed as if everything good in Eli’s life had come to an abrupt halt, and he wasn’t sure if things would ever be the same for him. Even if they weren’t, he had to act like they were. Chiss warriors showed no weakness, ever. Now he was one of them.
Stepping out of the shower, Eli switched the water off, drying off the excess water. He wrapped his towel around his waist, heading back toward his bedroom. He paused in front of the mirror above the sink, taking a moment to study his reflection.
Some of the color had returned to his face, and his pupils had receded to their normal size. There was still pain written in his expression, though. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a few short moments. He counted silently to three before opening them again.
The face now looking back at him in the mirror seemed like it was a different face altogether. His eyes were calm, but hard. The pain that had been so obvious was gone now, replaced by a stoic expression that gave no emotion away. Outwardly, it appeared as if Eli Vanto had been replaced by an entirely different person. One who had lived among the Chiss their entire lives.
But on the inside, the very much human Eli remained, struggling to hold the pieces of his heart together. Yearning for the love he had lost.
A soft sigh escaped his lips as he pushed the dream of Thrawn from his head and began to ready himself to go on duty.